grace

Texting, Dating, and the Lordship of Jesus Christ

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OK. Calm down. This isn’t any hellfire-and-brimstone blog. Don’t get your boxers in a bunch. Or panties. I just have some thoughts I’d like to share.

Have syou been pursued romantically by someone lately? How did you go about deciding if said someone was right for you? Did you go by gut intuition? Cues? Feelings? How about this one? Did you pray about it?

By praying about it, I mean did you earnestly seek  God’s will? Were you willing to submit to whatever Jesus told you? After all, if Jesus is Lord of your life at all, then He’s Lord of every aspect of your life, including your relationships, including who you do and don’t go out with.

Another question: have you been romantically interested in someone? In the course of pursing or being pursued by that person, did you ask Jesus’ permission? How can you possibly hope to find God’s mate for you if you’re not seeking His will over each and every potential dating relationship?

It goes without saying (but still needs to be said) that if you’re dating with the intent of possibly marrying this person, then you want to know God’s will on the matter and be willing to submit to it.

I’m not trying to be a killjoy. I just don’t want you to find out six months into the relationship that you’re dating the wrong guy or girl or that you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t work or where you end up with someone who doesn’t share your dreams and passions and (worst of all) faith.

In a totally unrelated matter, I’m still not sure what to make of this whole texting thing. Have you ever texted someone and gotten no response? If your phone is like mine, then it shows that the person read your message but chose not to respond. It’s almost like if you came up to me and asked me a question and I nodded like I heard you but instead of answering, I just stared at you. That would be creepy.

This is my take and I only expect myself to do this. I ALWAYS respond to EVERY text. I think it’s common courtesy. Good manners. I know if you’re one of those people who gets inundated with texts, it’s hard, but doing the right thing isn’t always easy. And I do understand that people lead busy lives and can’t always whip out their phones and text back, but hopefully within 48 hours you have some down time to respond back.

As far as relationships are concerned, when there are misunderstandings, it’s easy to find fault with the other person. Sometimes you need to do two things: 1) look in the mirror and make sure you’re not looking at a speck in the other person’s eye through a log in your own eye. 2) Sometimes you need to be the bigger person in the relationship and make the move toward making the relationship right again. For the sake of the relationship, it’s not as important to be right in your own eyes as it is to be reconciled.

There. I do these soapbox blogs periodically, so you’re off the hook probably until sometime in the fall. Or if I have a really good summer, maybe next winter.

Things I Love 7: The Blog Series That Wouldn’t Die (Like Freddy Krueger)

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island hammock

I realize that I’m getting ridiculous with this 7th installment of the blog series of things I’m thankful for, but I do really have so many things (most of them small and seemingly insignificant) that I love and am thankful for. This one starts with #146. And yes, I am that scatter-brained that every time I do one of these I have to look up the last one to see what numbers I ended with.

146) The people who read my blogs. Each and every one of you make me feel special.

147) That  even if I’ve completely blown it with a friend and the worst case scenario happens and she never wants to see me or talk to me ever again (which I hope is NOT the case), then my world won’t end and life will go on and I will be okay because God’s grace is still sufficient.

148) Running my favorite trail in Crockett Park.

149) Dog-sitting (or cat-sitting) for a friend or family member. And yes, I can be hired for a reasonable fee.

150) When I realize how truly blessed I am to be alive and healthy for another day and how many won’t ever get that privilege again.

151) When I can make people smile or laugh.

152) When I see the face of someone who really gets how much God truly does love them.

153) The salty smell of the ocean air when I’m near the beach.

154) Listening to my grandfather’s old pink tube radio and thinking that it’s the same one that kept him company in his workshop all those years.

155) When I am simply overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord.

156) The sun breaking through after several grey, rainy days in a row.

157) Whenever and wherever mercy triumphs over judgment.

158) The calming sound of a ceiling fan at night that helps me drift off to sleep.

159) Seeing answered prayers for those I’ve prayed for a long time.

160) When I fail family and friends and find grace and forgiveness rather than judgment and condemnation.

161) My old comfortable pair of sandals that have taken me to many places and adventures with good friends (and kept me from getting blisters).

162) Being able to look back on friendships that ended and remember the joy and good times instead of the hurt.

163) Mixing the creamy jalapeno ranch and the salsa at Chuy’s for the perfect dip for those amazing tortilla chips.

164) The chicken tortilla soup at Chuy’s (after those chips and dip).

165) The joy of sparking new conversations at restaurants and coffee shops with strangers who become later become friends.

166) That my Abba Father still delights in me, dances with joy, and sings me to sleep every single night.

167) Sitting still in the pre-Civil War St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in downtown Franklin and feeling the peace of Christ wash over me.

More Things I’m Thankful For

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If I took the time to focus on what I have instead of what I lack, I’d be so much better off. I really do have so much that I take for granted and what I think I need probably won’t even matter to me in five years– or five months.

So here’s another list of things I’m grateful for:

1) Beautiful Spring nights where the air has a hint of people grilling out.

2) Baseball games where the home team wins.

3) Good friends to share the night and the game with.

4) Another day to be alive.

5) That God is still in me and with me and for me.

6) Driving home with the windows down and good music playing loud.

7) That God’s future for me is so much bigger and wilder and more amazing than my little mind can yet imagine or conceive.

8) Friends who show grace instead of judgment and give second chances instead of shutting me out.

9) For those moments of serendipity when I run into friends old and new and remember how blessed I am to have them in my life.

10) For Sweet CeCe’s and more specifically their flavor, Southern Sweet Velvet (formerly known as Red Velvet).

11) For that amazing gluten-free chocolate chip cookie that I had last night at The Frothy Monkey.

12) That I’ve lost 31 pounds despite eating the above foods.

13) That I’m actually in better shape than I was when I was in high school.

14) That I care less what other people think of me and much more of what God thinks of me.

15) That my Abba Father is still very fond of me and still chooses to call me his Beloved.

16) For therapy sessions with my cat Lucy sleeping in my lap.

17) That there is absolutely nothing that will separate me from God’s love, nothing he hasn’t overcome by the cross, and nothing that he can turn into something beautiful and glorious.

 

9) For good coffee drinks and friends to share it with.

10)

The List

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A friend challenged me with something. She told me to think of all the things I’m thankful for, to focus on what’s good about me, and to celebrate the victories. So here’s a list of what I’m thankful for.

1. Grace. Still.

2. Cool spring nights where I can drive home with the windows down and good music playing loud.

3. Friends who speak the truth to me in love when I need to hear it and stick around after I’ve made a mess of things.

4. That messing up doesn’t have to mean the end of the world (or the end of a friendship).

5. That the best days of my life are still ahead.

6. That my past doesn’t define me anymore.

7. That God’s love for me is what defines me now.

8. For the continuing opportunity to be a part of serving as a greeter for Kairos and getting to witness God at work every single week.

9. Who I’m becoming in Christ.

10. That I’m finally able to believe that I will be a good husband and father one day.

11. my iPhone and that I finally got smart enough to get a smart phone. About dang time!

12. That I woke up this morning with good health and everything I need.

13. That I’m able to type this.

14. That God never ceases to amaze or surprise or delight me whenever I have enough sense to pay attention.

15. For people who choose to see the best in me and always give me the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming and jumping to conclusions.

16. For how God speaks in so many ways to me and always knows where I am.

17. For chocolate.

18. For my cat who’s sleeping in my lap as I type up this list.

19. For every soldier who sacrificed his life so that I could have all the freedoms that I so often take for granted.

20. For me finding my own brand of awesome and living it out every day.

What I Learned About Grace From Swing Dancing

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I went swing dancing tonight. There was much fear and trepidation at first, and quite honestly, I expected to be a one-and-done and convince myself once and for all that I can not dance.

It started rough. I did well with the lessons part, but once it came to the actual dancing, I panicked and forgot everything. I even was going to use my knee as an excuse not to dance anymore tonight. But a friend convinced me to give it another try. I realized I was stepping too far back at one point and seriously throwing off my rhythm.

Once I got that part corrected, it was like my confidence went through the roof. Or at least to the rafters. I even enjoyed myself.

Then I got to thinking. Swing dancing is more than just doing steps. It takes grace.

Life’s a lot like that. Relationships are a lot like that.

When I have friends who do and say things that I don’t quite understand and seem hurtful, I need to give grace.

When friends seem to withdraw and aren’t as friendly as before, I need to give grace.

When I find myself falling back into old fears and doubts, I need to give myself grace.

Giving grace simply means that there’s more to the story than I know. It means that I would probably do much worse in that other person’s shoes.

So, I plan on going back in two weeks to swing dance again. And I plan to be better at giving grace to those around me, including myself, who need it most.

My question to you is this: who in your life deserves for you to shut them out but who needs grace from you instead? Is it you? Is it a friend who has messed up with you lately? (OK, that’s three questions. I cheated. Sue me)

Grace makes everything more beautiful and is itself beautiful because it is undeserved, unexpected, and always needed.

Once again, I choose grace.

Confession Session #3,908: Friendships And All That Other Stuff

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I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m not the best at relationships, especially friendships. I tend to either be overwhelmingly friendly or awkward. I think most people have a low Greg-tolerance and after they’ve reached that limit, they have to go home and wash their hair or feed the dog.

I know I overstay my welcome in certain conversations and the other person finally has to go home, put on some Barry Manilow, and lie down for a while. FYI: you can tell me in a nice way to shut up and go away if you need to.

I think I’ve lost a few friendships through being too weird or too goofy or too me. And some relationships have simply run their course and they have served God’s purpose in my life (and hopefully, the reverse).

In the past, I might have obsessed over those and wondered what I could have done differently. I might even have made a fool of myself trying to extend a friendship beyond its natural life.

After all that, I confess that I’m much better than I used to be. I try not to talk so fast and to not always talk about me. I’m learning to listen and not always be thinking about my next response. I’m growing in grace.

Jesus truly has been the friend that’s closer than a brother and he’s teaching me how to be a better friend. A better prayer warrior. A better empathizer. And hopefully, one day, a better husband and father.

So, I’m asking for grace from you. And I’m trying to give it in those moments when you need it. All the best relationships are based on grace and forgiveness and second chances and do-overs.

I believe that what goes around comes around. I also believe that the way you treat others indicates your love for God. People who love God and are secure in God’s love for them can’t help but be loving and forgiving and generous in their relationships.

I know a little of me goes a long way sometimes, so I’ll try not to overstay my welcome. And I’ll give you space when you need a break from me, ’cause there are times I need a break from me (said jokingly).

May we each be Jesus to each other and help each other as we all try to figure out this crazy life business. We really do need each other.

Scars

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I was watching Slumdog Millionaire tonight and the ending got me thinking. By the way, this is a spoiler alert, so if you haven’t already seen the movie and don’t want to know how it ends, don’t read any further.

Jamal, the main character, finds his true love, Nakita, at the train station. She’s trying to hide the scar on the side of her face, but he finds it anyway and gives her a kiss on the scar.

What a perfect picture of faith.

We all have scars we’re trying to hide. Some do a better job, so that you can’t tell they have any. Some don’t do as well because their scars are more obvious and less easily hidden.

We think God will be repulsed by our scars, by the bitter words we’ve spoken, by the horrendous things we’ve done, by the vile thoughts we’ve cherished from time to time. We’re sure that if he ever knew about those scars, he’d want nothing more to do with us. After all, haven’t so many people in our lives treated us that way? People we loved and trusted to be there for us always? They got one look at our scars and couldn’t get away from us fast enough.

I’m thankful every single day that God’s not like that. God seeks us out, and when he finds us, he gives us kisses of grace on our scars. He turns our scars into stories of transformation and amazing grace. Like I heard a pastor say, that one thing you never thought you’d ever confess to becomes the very first line of your testimony.

God appreciates scars because he’s got some of his own. Three to be exact. Two on his wrists and one in his side. They are reminders of the price he paid for you and me.

So maybe scars aren’t such a bad thing after all.

 

Worship Music Perspectives from a Non-Worship Leader

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Worship_Music_Hands_Lifted

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some worship music. Especially a lot of the new songs that have emerged in the last five or so years. I can’t get enough worship music from Passion, Hillsong, Kari Jobe, All Sons and Daughters, and so many other incredible artists who have brought renewed integrity, passion and artistry into worship music more than ever before.

But sometimes I wonder if some of the songs aren’t too me-focused. As in “I’m gonna lift my hands” or “I’m worshiping with all I’ve got” or “My love for you, Jesus, will never stop.” In other words, it’s all about how God makes me feel and how I’m going to respond.

My issue isn’t primarily a theological one. It’s just that I know me too well. I know that some days my faith is vibrant and alive and I can sing songs like these with all my heart and really mean it.

But there are days I’d be much more reluctant to sing these lines. I’ve gone through whole days without picking up a Bible or praying even once. I’ve spent days barely even giving God a thought. My faith has been virtually non-existent at times.

I think lately the worship songs that resonate most with me are the ones focused on what God has done for me. Better yet, the songs that are focused just on God. Sometimes, I need to know that my God is an awesome God. I need to know that my God is mighty to save. I need to know that my God is stronger than any other.

The point is that God is flawlessly faithful. He really is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I’ll continue to have my ups and downs, days when I’m on fire and days when I’m ice cold in my faith. God will not. He can’t ever be anything but 100% loving, 100% faithful, 100% mighty to save, and 100% for me.

That’s what I want to sing about. Because most days that’s what I need to hear.

Unexpected Find

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I found something interesting while I was cleaning out one of my desk drawers. It was something I’d written some time before. At least I think I wrote it. Still, I echo the sentiment it contains:

Be radical in serving
Be militant in loving people
Be fanatical in forgiveness and grace
Be sacrificial in worship

I think these things describe Jesus’ earthly ministry. He was all these things and so much more. I also think this is what believers are called to be. Not safe. Not comfortable. Not status quo.

We’re called to be radical, militant, fanatical, and sacrificial. But not in hate. Only in the love of God.

After all, that’s the kind of love that God shows us every single day.

 

 

What Are Christians For?

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I was finishing up season 1 of Downton Abbey when a facebook post caught my eye. It was entitled “A Christian’s View of Downton Abbey.” I had to read, though I feared what the result would be.

My fears were realized. The reviewer condemned the series after watching part of an episode.

I’m not here to say the assessment was wrong. You have the right to your opinion and I have the right to mine. What bothered me was that this is yet another example of how we as believers are known for what we’re against, rather than what we’re for.

I still remember how Christians came out against the Harry Potter books and movies, even though most of them had not read one word of the books or seen any part of the movies. I even saw Christians attack Twilight and try to tie the series to teenagers wanting to become vampires. As if Twilight was the only vampire franchise in town.

How does any of this attract people to Christ? How does any of this show love? I’m all for personal convictions, but I’m not about to impose my personal convictions on someone else. I’m not about to condemn someone else who has different convictions than mine.

I choose to show what I’m for rather than what I’m against. I want people to know I’m for Jesus and all he stands for. That’s love, forgiveness, second chances, repentance, belonging, renewal, and –best of all– life abundant.

I don’t believe in condoning sin or sinful behavior. But I believe in loving the sinner.

Above all, I know how many times I mess up in a single day. I’m not about to pick up a stone to throw at anybody, because I know that I can’t say that I am without sin. I’ve been the recipient of grace from God and so many people over the years and now it’s my turn to pay it forward and show that grace to as many people as I can as much as I can.

This isn’t written by someone who’s figured it all out and is preaching at you from on high. As the old saying goes, “I’m just one beggar trying to tell other beggars where to find bread.” I’m just a sinner saved by grace who fell in love with Jesus and wants every single person to know that.

That’s all.