God’s will

Weak, Stretched Thin, and Out of Your Depth

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Hey Soul? Yeah, I hear you — there’s times you feel stretched way too thin, in way over your head. 
So every time you feel that stress rising today, just take a moment & take a deep breath —- and just be. Just Be Still — and know & feel & trust how He is God. 
Being weak makes you a cup for God’s power. 
Being stretched thin, makes you a canvas for God’s glory.
Being out of your depths, makes you touch the depths of the love of God. 
#Exhale #BeStill #GodHasGotThis#PreachingGospeltoMyself” (Ann Voskamp).

I know what it feels like to be stretched thin and out of my depth. I know back in the day, I probably would have panicked big-time and not done very well with it. Now, I still get anxious, but I’m learning how to work through worry instead of being consumed by it.

I love the analogy of an archer pulling back on the bow to shoot an arrow. He pulls and pulls as the bow thinks it can not possibly be stretched any further, yet still he stretches more and more. Finally, he sets his sights on the target and lets loose.

God is stretching you and me for a future and a target that only He can see right now. At the moment, the stretching may feel unbearable and you’d rather have it over. It’s tempting to want to take a shortcut to get out of being that uncomfortable. But staying in it rather than bolting is worth it. You have the satisfaction of knowing God will honor your obedience and you can see with eyes of faith that the end will make any hardships seem light and momentary.

Being weak and out of your depth is a place God often calls His children. That’s where God loves to show up. It’s the kind of testimony that is the best, because no human explanation will do. It’s a life that can only be explained in terms of God. We make God famous most of all by being faithful when it would be easier to quit.

The Divine Purpose

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Our lives mean much more than we can tell; they fulfill some purpose of God about which we know nothing; our part is to trust in the Lord with all our heart and not lean to our own understanding. Earthly wisdom can never come near the threshold of the Divine; if we stop short of the Divine we stop short of God’s purpose for our lives” (Oswald Chambers, Bringing Sons Unto Glory).

I’m guilty of trying to decipher God’s overall plan for me and whether or not I feel like I’m living up to it. What God calls me isn’t to figure it all out but to be faithful in the minutiae and the mundane from moment to moment. It’s to be in a constant attitude of prayerful mindfulness and paying attention to God’s voice wherever I am and whatever I’m doing.

Ultimately, it’s presenting myself as a living sacrifice with everything I do as a spiritual offering of worship to God my King. That looks a lot like doing the small stuff and the daily routine like it matters to God, because it does.

It means that the janitor is as much of a sacred office as the minister. It means that sweeping floors and scrubbing toilets can be just as much an act of worship as singing hymns. For me, it means doing my best in everything as if I were doing it directly for God.

Being faithful looks like showing up and staying prayed up and never giving up, no matter what. It means reminding yourself of God’s promises and thanking God for them in advance while you’re still waiting on their fulfillment. It means preaching the gospel to yourself every day, several times a day, until you remember that it starts and ends with God, not you.

Sometimes, being faithful isn’t about the next 24 hours. It could be the next two hours. It could be the next 15 minutes. It could be the next breath. But it’s all about remembering the God who is forever faithful.

No Matter What

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Our prayers for guidance (or for anything else) really begin here: I trust him. This requires abandonment. We are no longer saying, ‘If I trust him, he’ll give me such and such,’ but ‘I trust him. Let him give me or withhold from me what he chooses” (Elisabeth Elliot, God’s Guidance: A Slow & Certain Light).

It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to bargain with God. Something along the lines of “I’ll trust you if you will give me a) a job, b) a spouse, or c) lots of money.”

It feels more like a transaction than faith. If God does X, then I’ll do Y. The trouble is that I’m in no position to bargain with God. He’s the Eternal Lord and King of the Universe who has every right to destroy me because of my sin, and I’m the one who’s only alive at this moment because of His grace.

The truth is that if all God ever did was to save me from an eternity in hell and leave me alone, that would be way more than I deserve. That alone would merit my praise from now until 10,000 X 10,000 years have passed.

But that’s not all God did. He has sustained me and blessed me and been with me through every kind of joy and sorrow, triumph and trial. All He asks in return is my allegiance. My loyalty. My surrender. Me.

It’s not wrong to ask God for things, but the more I spend time with God and in His word and the more I grow in Christlikeness, the things I ask for change and my desire to have them changes.

God doesn’t owe me anything. Even the next breath is a gift. I owe God everything, more than I could possibly ever pay in a million lifetimes. Yet all God asks for is me. I think that’s a good enough reason to trust Him no matter what.

Something Better

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I think this is true. I also think that sometimes my idea and God’s idea of what “something better” means aren’t always the same. But every single time I find out that God’s idea was better.

Typically, I find looking back that what I thought I wanted wasn’t really what I wanted. You know what they say about being able to see 20/20 in hindsight. But I am grateful that God said no to a lot of what I prayed for, especially when I was younger.

Also, my idea of “something better” changes as I mature and grow more like Jesus. More and more, I am able to say with truth and sincerity God’s will be done. And I have noticed that the older I get, the more my will is slowly starting to look like God’s will. I am gradually beginning to want what God wants more than what I want.

Finally, I think sometimes I don’t think big enough. None of us do. God has an entire cosmos in mind and we so often have a very small spot in the universe. God is infinite and we are not. Yet I also think that what God has in mind for me down the road is not something I could presently comprehend. The waiting is God preparing me to be able to receive what’s coming. Right now, it would blow my mind. Or destroy me. Or both.

My ultimate hope isn’t some down the road amazing revelation or gift from God. It’s God. It’s less of me and more of God. It’s me stepping into all that God has made me to be and finding out He’s much bigger, better, stronger, kinder than I had ever imagined before.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard
and no one’s heart has imagined
all the things that God has prepared
for those who love him” (1 Corinthians 2:9, Complete Jewish Bible)

My Belated Birthday Blog Post

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

My birthday ended 33 minutes ago. I was tossing and turning in bed, trying unsuccessfully to sleep when I remembered that I had forgotten to write my daily blog post. I suppose getting a bit forgetful comes with turning 53.

I am blessed. This season of unemployment that I’m in isn’t one that I would have chosen, but I have learned a lot. Not so much new information, though there’s been some. Mostly, it’s just being reminded of what I already knew. It’s having that information go from theoretical to experiential.

I honestly don’t know what’s next. There have been moments of near-panic and high anxiety and there have been moments of calm and serenity. I have had thoughts of “God, please help” and “I can’t wait to see what God does next.”

My main prayer remains the same. It’s the prayer that never fails — Thy will be done. Even if it’s not my will. Even if it means my will, my desires, my goals be undone. Even if it means I am undone. I want God’s will because I know it’s the best.

I don’t believe in the saying that God never gives us more than we can handle. I think God never gives us more than He can handle. It’s true that God never allows us to be tempted beyond what we can bear but gives us a way out. But God’s testing is a different matter. My dependence on God grows as I am tested beyond enduring and I lean on the Lord for strength.

“We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9, NIV).

There’s joy at the end of this tunnel.

God’s Will

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

The older I get, the more I realize that there is nothing I want outside of the will of God. As I’ve heard before, having everything without God is nothing while having God plus nothing else is everything.

I can’t imagine life without God. Instead of owning stuff, my stuff would own me. I’d be a slave to my fears and my lusts and never know true joy. I’d always be the same broken and miserable person from day to day without any hope of change.

I’m learning that the best place to be is smack dab in the middle of God’s will. I can dream of some pretty wild scenarios, but no one out-dreams God. His plans for me and for the world are so much bigger and better than anything my puny mind can conceive or comprehend.

So I wait and I trust. I keep reciting the first part of the Lord’s prayer where it says, “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” I pray that even if it means that my will be undone, as Elisabeth Elliott used to pray all the time.

I’d rather have my will undone than to get my heart’s desire and be undone by it. I know how people are destroyed by fame and fortune without the grounding to handle that kind of success. I know even the severe mercies of God are better than the praises of men and the rewards of a life apart from God.

So it’s God’s will. Nothing more. Nothing less. Nothing else. Period.

Humbly Let Go

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control, let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy’s fire. Leave the hand open and be. Be at peace. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper a surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy’s flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I’m not advocating for a kind of “let go and let God” passive approach to spirituality. I think in this case I need to let go of my way of thinking of how God should act. I should stop setting up boundaries to put God in so that He will act according to what I have set up as my standard for Him to follow.

I can trust that God’s ways are not my ways. I can trust that I would want what God wants if I knew what He knew. I would understand what He does if I could see the whole entire big picture from eternity rather than my own specific limited viewpoint. If my brain could comprehend the infinite, I could begin to think like God.

But I can’t and I’m not. “Faith is the assurance of things you have hoped for, the absolute conviction that there are realities you’ve never seen” (Hebrews 11:1, The Voice).

I trust in what I can’t see and I believe what I can’t fully understand. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be faith. It would be seeing and understanding. But even if I have the teensiest amount of faith like that of a microscopic mustard seed, that’s enough.

God’s Delays

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I saw an Instagram post that basically said that sometimes delays are as much of God’s will as those things He allows and those He denies. He declared that when God makes you wait for something, either you are not ready for it or the situation is not ready for you to enter into it. The worst thing God could do is to give you what you want and the exact moment you want it the way you want it.

I’m so there. Being out of work for two months has felt like a delay. Trusting God in the middle of anxiety is difficult, but I’m learning more and more that God is faithful. Instead of pleading with God for a job, I’m thanking God in advance for the job He will provide in His own perfect timing. I’m grateful for the lessons that I can only learn in this season.

As much as I should know this by now, I need to be reminded that my identity isn’t in what I do for a living. My purpose isn’t bound up in going to a work environment for 8 hours a day. Being employed will not complete me any more than finding a spouse or anything else. I am already complete in Christ because of what He’s done for me on the cross. God still looks at me and says, “It is very good.”

God’s delays may feel like denials, but they only come because you’re not ready to receive what God is preparing for you. I don’t mean that a Maserati or a yacht or a super mansion is ready for you if you have the right amount of faith. I mean a future where you step into God’s bigger purposes for you and the world.

May we all learn to wait well and expectantly.

What’s Next

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike ‘What’s next, Papa?’ God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!” (Romans 8:15-17, The Message).

It was a very unassuming moment. There I was, standing in line for hot chocolate during the After Hours celebration of the last Kairos of 2016, uttering a small prayer.

“God, I’m ready for whatever’s next from You.”

It’s a loose paraphrase of the prayer Jesus prayed in the garden in the hours leading up to the awaiting agony of the cruxifixction. His words were, “Your will be done.”

One of the scariest moments is when you relinquish control. One of the most freeing moments is when you finally realize that you were never in control to begin with. It was and has always been God on the throne of the universe, working all things together for your good.

One of the biggest fears that many of us have isn’t that God’s not able to accomplish His plans in and for us. We’re just afraid of how painful those plans might be. And yes, I completely stole that from C. S. Lewis, though he probably said it better.

The truth as I am learning it is that my joy and God’s glory aren’t mutually exclusive. In fact, my joy is greatest when God is most glorified in the world– and in my own life.

So God, whatever you have for me, whenever you have it for me, wherever you have it for me, I’m ready. I know more now than ever that the safest and best place to be is smack dab in the middle of Your will.

Amen.

 

Come, Lord Jesus: An Advent Prayer for 2016

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Come, long-expected Jesus. Excite in me a wonder at the wisdom and power of Your Father and ours. Receive my prayer as part of my service of the Lord who enlists me in God’s own work for justice.

Come, long-expected Jesus. Excite in me a hunger for peace: peace in the world, peace in my home, peace in myself.

Come, long-expected Jesus. Excite in me a joy responsive to the Father’s joy. I seek His will so I can serve with gladness, singing and love.

Come, long-expected Jesus. Excite in me the joy and love and peace it is right to bring to the manger of my Lord. Raise in me, too, sober reverence for the God who acted there, hearty gratitude for the life begun there, and spirited resolution to serve the Father and Son.

I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, whose advent I hail. Amen” (A Catholic Advent Prayer).

At this time of year, I’m always on the lookout for prayers and quotations that reflect the true heart of the Advent season. I found one just now.

The incarnation of Immanuel means so much more than my world getting put right. It’s about the entire world getting put right. It’s about God inviting me to be a part of the revolution that started not from a throne room and a king or a battlefield and a general but from a manger and an infant.

The question this advent: how can we show tangible love to those around us with whom we live and work and play? How can we be the visible body of Christ to those who have never seen or heard this gospel (or who have seen and heard a very distorted version of it)?

I’m praying that this Advent is about more than just me and my own serenity and fulfillment. I want it to be about more than buying and receiving presents. I want to see change in the world and I want it to start in me.