Life Lessons from A Great Movie

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I finally watched a movie that I had known about for a long time and had always meant to see but never gotten around to. I even bought the movie from the $5 bin at Wal-Mart.

Tonight, I finally got around to it. The movie was What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.

The movie is filled with memorable, eccentric characters. The story is anything but formulaic. There are no high-speed car chases or topless women or pyrotechnics or CGI spectacles. Just odd and endearing people living their lives the best way they know how.

One was mentally handicapped. One was morbidly obese. One was just unsure of himself and what he wanted to do with his life. But they loved each other.

I’m sure you have a few of these people in your life. People you wish were different. People who have flaws and bad habits and have done and said some really dumb things. People who can’t help the way they are. Maybe you’re one of them. Maybe you sometimes feel like you wish you could be anywhere else in the world except with these people.

You can still choose to love them. You can see them as they are, warts and all, and love them anyway. Remember that God saw you at your very worst and chose to keep loving you.

Love isn’t blind. Not in the least. Love sees the flaws and imperfections but chooses to seek and find the best in others and help draw it out in them. The way God has loved us all along.

I guess you can tell that I liked the movie, huh?

Authenticity

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I did one of those personality analysis tests and was not too surprised at the results. Basically, it turns out that I’m an idealist who wants to make a difference in the world around him. I pretty much knew that.

The test also said that I am drawn toward authenticity.

I think there are few who wouldn’t want some kind of authenticity in their lives, to be in a place where they can truly be themselves. Not only that, but a place where the people around them are just as genuine.

Ideally, the Church is just the place where that should happen.

Sadly, that’s the last place you find true authenticity these days.

These days, especially in the American Church, most believers feel they have to wear the “super spiritual, got it all together” mask and act as if their lives are perfect. Very few feel comfortable being open and honest about their struggles, addictions, and fears for fear of being judged and condemned.

That’s sad. That’s also not at all the Church Jesus had in mind when He prayed that they be united and one just as He and the Father are one. That’s not the Church portrayed in Acts as sharing possessions and helping out the less fortunate.

That’s not the kind that will draw the hurting and helpless, the kind Jesus told us to reach out to.

Pretending to be perfect is a damaging facade in two ways. First, it’s an impossible illusion to maintain because no one is perfect. Second, it creates the false image that to become a believer, you can’t have any issues or problems or sin-issues.

I think what people are looking for when they look to believers are people who make mistakes and fess up to those mistakes, who fail miserably and pick themselves up and move on, who have flaws and choose to see the good in themselves and others.

I’m praying that I can live with that kind of authenticity. I’m praying you will seek to be just as honest and real and transparent in your own lives as well.

Remember, God above all knows your deepest secrets, your utmost failures and flaws, and loves you just as you are. Not as you wish you could be or how you see yourself on your very best days but just exactly as you are when you’re feeling lowest.

That’s the kind of love I’m craving and the only kind of love that can change me into someone who can love others the same way.

 

A Really Good Question

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While I was house/dog-sitting at a friend’s house, i was channel surfing. I ran across a program that was just getting started on TBN.

Normally, I avoid that channel like the plague, but the program featured Max Lucado, one of my favorite authors, so I gave it a shot. As it turns out, I did indeed choose wisely.

Max spoke on Joseph of Old Testament fame losing everything he had– possessions, family, reputation, freedom. He was literally looking up from the lowest point in his life at one point.

Then Max asked a profound question: “What do you still have that you cannot lose?”

Maybe you’ve lost your health. Or a job. Maybe it was a spouse. Or a child.

Maybe you’ve lost your reputation.

Whatever it is, there’s one thing you can’t lose. Your destiny as a child of God. Because God looked down on you at your very worst and said, “I choose that one. I want him. I have great plans for her.”

Your identity isn’t lost when you lose everything. You are still God’s. He still loves you and still has your name tattooed on His hands and on His heart.

Joseph was faithful to His destiny and God rewarded him. And so he will reward you. Maybe not in this lifetime, but you can bet there is nothing you’ve lost that won’t be restored a thousandfold over.

I love how Max said that our lives aren’t the dashes between our birth-dates and death-dates. They’re more like a grain of sand on the beach of the eternity of God’s stedfast love. I like that.

Maybe I should watch TBN more often.

Amour: How Much Do You Love Me?

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I have now seen 11 out of the 12 nominees for the Best Picture Academy Award from last year’s Oscars. Only one more to go!

I watched Amour, a very touching movie about an elderly man taking care of his wife after she’s had two strokes. I say the film was touching; it was also unflinching and hard to watch at times.

Love is like that. It’s not always the storybook ending and happily ever afters. Sometimes, there are parts you wish you could leave out. Sometimes, “I do” means changing diapers and having to feed your loved one as if he or she were an infant again.

Love is hard. When the one you love can no longer return that love, when they no longer have the means of communicating their love back to you, what do you do?

God calls us to love the unlovable as He first loved us when we were unlovable. Sometimes, I can still be unlovable; you can, too. But God still chooses to love us anyway.

Did you get that?

At every moment, God is choosing to love you and to love me, regardless of whether you or I have shown that we deserve such love.

The truth is that nobody deserves God’s love, but we all need it and we can have it if we will only open our clenched fists to receive that waiting love. And God is such a patient Suitor.

Who will you choose to love who doesn’t deserve it? Who will you choose to forgive who deserves to be cut off instead? Who will you give a second chance to who never deserved the first?

One day, the someone needing love and forgiveness and a second chance will be you. It will be me. Our humanity means we will fall, we will fail, we will make a mess of things and people and relationships.

Yep. All that from watching one movie. With subtitles, no less.

I needed the reminder because I have been guilty of casting stones instead of extending grace. You have, too. We’ve all been harsh and judgmental and unforgiving to those who needed mercy and grace and forgiveness.

The question is not if you’ve loved poorly in the past but if you will choose to love well on this day that God has given you. Will you?

Saturday Night’s Alright for Slacking

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I did nothing tonight. Hard as it is to believe, I spent this Saturday evening in front of the idiot box with a very sleepy cat/therapist named Lucy. This jetsetter, this man about town, actually had a quiet night.

And the world didn’t come to a screeching halt.

Do you ever wonder that people forget about you the moment you leave the room? That when it comes to priorities, you’re not high up on anybody’s list? That ultimately you don’t truly matter to anyone?

Sure, I’ve felt that way some nights. But I know this.

There is never a moment that goes by where I’m not in God’s sight, on His mind, and engraved on His hands and on His heart. He loves me completely, unconditionally, unwaveringly, every second of every day of eternity.

God loves you the same way. God loves each person as if they were the only person who had ever lived and could receive the fullness of Love itself.

That kind of love meets you where you are but does not leave you that way. It can’t help but transform the beloved into the image of the Lover. You become most like what you love most. Always.

I can’t say that staying home was my first choice. Or even on my list of top twenty choices.

But here I am, thankful even on a slow Saturday night that I have everything I need in the world right here. Finding the joy on nights like this really does transform how you see the rest of your life. Giving thanks for the small things makes room to receive the greater things.

I think I’ll sign off in a bit here and go do some actual reading of an actual book, with actual pages that turn and everything. How novel.

May you know in full (or as fully as a finite human can comprehend the infinite) how much your Abba really does love you at every moment, whether you feel it or not.

That’s all for now.

Dar Williams and the Song in Your Heart

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According to Foursquare (an app on my iPhone), I hadn’t been to any concerts or movies at the Franklin Theatre since April. Until tonight.

I was in row D, seat 3 to hear one of my favorite singer-songwriters, Dar Williams, put on a great show. Even her opening act, Angel Snow, was fantastic. It was a good night.

Dar performed my two favorite songs of hers, “The One Who Knows” and “The Beauty of the Rain,” as well as several other gems. Her music always takes me to a peaceful place and her songs are most definitely an integral part of the ever-changing and ever-growing soundtrack to my life.

Jesus has been reminding me of the song in my own heart that I had begun to forget. Joy and thanksgiving, or eucharisteo, is my song and I’m thankful for friends and family who periodically remind me when I’ve forgotten the words or lost the melody.

I am one note in a living symphony of God’s love for the world He made. I may be only one small part, but without me, the symphony loses something. The same with you. The world around you needs to hear your own unique song and your small but vital part in God’s overture.

Let your life be the biggest hymn of praise that you sing. A hymn of thanksgiving, of hope restored, of dreams reborn, and of grace. Especially grace.

I will help to remind you of your song when you forget the words and root for you when your part in the Grand Symphony arrives. That’s what Church is for– to remind each other of the goodness of God and to love each other and God well. That’s a song the world around us has been dying to hear.

The Final Exam of Life

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If there is a final exam at the end of my life (and I seriously hope there’s not one because I haven’t studied in a very long time), I like to think there would be one question. I think of all the questions God could ask, it will not be these:

“DId you read your Bible enough?’

“Did you tithe enough and support enough missionaries and causes?”

“Did you have the correct theological beliefs and vote for the person who toted the biggest Bible?”

None of these. One question will be on that final and it will be this:

“Did you love well?”

Did you love those people in your everyday life? Did you take time to speak to those in your office or classroom? Did you give friendly smile to people who passed you on the street? For all your talk of how much you love God, did people see it lived out in you toward those who needed it?

Love is about saying to someone, “I see you when nobody else does. I hear you when no one else will listen. I will do whatever I can to help you become the person you always wanted to be.”

That kind of love is the love God has toward us.

The problem is that we have too many likes and not enough love. We have too many Facebook friends and not enough real relationships. Our vision gets narrow and we miss the people around us who will go through an entire day without anyone speaking to them or acknowledging them.

I will say this.

It is not okay to ignore someone who speaks to you or texts you or messages you.

It is not okay to get up and move when someone sits down at your table just because you don’t feel like talking to them.

It is not okay to defriend someone or cut them off as punishment, especially if that person never knows what they did wrong.

It is not okay to be friendly to everyone in your office or class and single out one person to not talk to.

Remember, each person bears the image of God, distorted as it may be though sin. Each person is a uniquely valuable creation that God made and Jesus died for. To treat anyone less is to treat what God made and what Jesus died for with disdain. You can’t love God if you don’t love His people. All of them.

Even further, what you did to the least of these– regardless of whether they live in a third world country or next door, whether they dress in rags or tailor-made three piece suits, you do to Jesus.

I want to live my life so that at the end I can say I loved well as I was loved well by Jesus. I will never love perfectly, but I will never stop trying. I may lose my way from time to time, but God’s love will always gently guide me back to His heart for His people.

May we all find that love and live that love. May God’s heart for people be ours. And when that final question on that final exam comes, I’m praying we will not only know the answer in theory, but will have lived it out so that our lives are an essay and a testimony to how good God’s love is.

Things I Love 35: Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Get Back on the Internet . . .

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“That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“God is good and I am always loved” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

“The whole of the life — even the hard — is made up of the minute parts, and if I miss the infinitesimals, I miss the whole. These are new language lessons, and I live them out. There is a way to live the big of giving thanks in all things. It is this: to give thanks in this one small thing. The moments will add up”  (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Yeah, just when you thought I was done with this series, I resuscitate it and bring it back from the world wide graveyard. I’m not even close to being finished with all these thousand and more gifts I’ve received in my lifetime. It’s probably closer to 10,000. Actually, if I were completely honest, there’d be no way to count the blessings in my life for no human number goes that high. So I’ll do my best, starting at #1,036.

1,036) Yet more good coffee and conversation with another friend at Frothy Monkey (after a bit of confusion as to which Frothy Monkey).

1,037) When I stop comparing myself to others and instead compare myself to where I used to be.

1,038) Politically Correct Bedtime Stories.

1,039) Seeing my Romanian friend and sister-in-Christ happily married.

1,040) Rubbing my bare feet against carpet.

1,041) Not getting elbowed in the head or having my bare feet stepped on during volleyball games.

1,042) That possibly the best days and moments of my life are still yet to come.

1,043) Not getting counted off anymore for split infinitives.

1,044) Friends who actually make time to keep up with me and encourage me regularly.

1,045) All the old episodes of Are You Being Served?

1,046) Memories of watching TV as a kid with my uncle in the old camper on our property in Christiana.

1,047) That I’m not named after an airline.

1,048) Anticipating yet another Jonny Lang album coming out in September.

1,049) My gigantic over-the-ears headphones that I use to listen to music late at night sometimes.

1,050) Making up words when I don’t know the actual lyrics to a song.

1,051) Finding out what the actual lyrics are to a song I’ve been singing wrong all this time.

1,052) Just about any movie or TV show featuring Judi Dench.

1,053) Catching up with Union University classmates.

1,054) Ditto for Briarcrest classmates.

1,055) That God loves the crazy people as much as the “sane” ones.

1,056) The short spontaneous conversation I had with the girl named Rebecca who was reading that Mark Batterson book.

1,057) Every one of the 300+ pictures I took at the Set Free VBS this year.

1,058) Seeing those kids being prayed over and loved on and shown Jesus.

1,059) Every time the Kingdom of God takes back a person or a place from the kingdom of darkness.

1,060) Mastering the art of making pimento cheese.

1,061) Saying the words “pimento cheese.”

1,062) Classic devotionals by people like Oswald Chambers and Charles Spurgeon.

1,063) Bowling a game over 100.

1,064) Silence. Sometimes.

1,065) That even my fidelity to God is a gift from God (thanks to Thomas Merton for that one.

1,066) Friends who know the song in my heart and can sing it back to me when I’ve forgotten the words.

1,067) Any old Frank Capra movie.

1,068) Not being in a hurry all the time.

1,069) Knowing that I have an Advocate and Defender who pleads for me before the Throne of God.

1,070) Not nearly being close to finished with these lists.

Things I Love 14: Back to Life, Back to Reality

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OK, I confess. I’ve slacked off from reading the book that I said was so amazing, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s still amazing, but I’ve been distracted from reading by a multitude of things, mostly involving my ADD. So I do plan to resume reading the book at some point, but I continue with the list currently, starting at #322.

322) Those of you who are old enough now have that song by Soul II Soul stuck in your head, thanks to my oh-so-clever subtitle.

323) Grabbing coffee with friends at the multiple coffee locations around town (and I would love to meet any of you for coffee and conversation, preferably at The Frothy Monkey or The Well, but Starbucks works just as well).

324) When the Word of God comes alive to me and speaks to my life in powerful ways.

325) Fellow cat-lovers who understand that cats aren’t dogs, but can be very loving in their own ways.

326) Finally being able to speak the truth in love and not have the co-dependent, approval-addicted part of me worried sick about losing the friend.

327) Orange popsicles.

328) Still getting a kick out of trying to type out a word and accidentally typing the word “poop.”

329) The people who get my weirdness and love me anyway.

330) The honesty and vulnerability of the teaching pastor at Kairos, Mike Glenn.

331) Singing along with Stevie Wonder in the car (well, not actually Stevie Wonder, but his songs).

332) That Stevie Wonder is not driving the car while I’m listening to his music in my car.

333) I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.

334) Really small Bibles.

335) God loving me when I’m most selfish and petty and whiny.

336) When friends have every right to write me off, but choose to give me grace instead.

337) Recognizing a thought for the lie that it is and taking it captive through the power of Christ in me.

338) One-hit wonders from the 90’s.

339) The Cheesecake Factory.

340) The Mall at Green Hills (even though parking there is a nightmare).

341) Because of Jesus goodbyes are only temporary.

342) Feeling God’s pleasure over me when I run.

343) Learning more about Jesus from faith-traditions that are different than mine.

344) The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.

345) The steak bowl from Chipotle with Smoked Chipotle Tobasco sauce on it (to add a little extra kick to the flavor).

346) Food in general.

347) My $5 polarized sunglasses from Savannah, Georgia that I still somehow have not managed to lose yet.

348) Being able to use the suffering and hardship in my own life to help someone else who’s going through something similar.

349) Little baby shoes. Even though I don’t have kids yet, I love how they can make boots and sandals and tennis shoes so small.

350) That I’m now going to start calling my tennis shoes “tenny runners” just to be different.

Making The Impossible Possible

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If you want to see a positive, life-affirming movie, watch The Impossible. It’s set during the 2004 tsunami that hit the coastal areas of several Asian countries and centers around a family trying desperately to find each other.

It seems like an impossible task. There’s so much devastation and chaos that the odds of finding anyone familiar are extremely high. But their love for each other proves more resilient than any obstacle that stands in their way and in the end, they find each other. Sorry if I just spoiled the ending for you.

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Maybe you’re facing an impossible situation right now.

Maybe it’s a friendship that’s fractured beyond repair.

Maybe it’s a marriage that’s fraying at the seams and it seems like it will inevitably fall apart.

Maybe it’s a son or daughter who has gone prodigal and the chance of their returning seems less likely with each passing year.

Maybe it’s a dream that you’ve all but given up on, believing that you missed your best chance long ago and now any hope of seeing that dream come true is fading.

I’ve come to believe that with God, truly nothing is impossible. There’s no such thing as too late. There’s no such thing as past hope. There’s nothing broken that can’t be fixed, nothing so shattered it can’t be put back together again.

In fact, the more impossible the situation, the better God is at coming through. He even makes it look easy.

After all, if he can take a life that was dead and decayed and make it alive again, is anything else really so hard?

If he can take death, hell, sin, and the grave and defeat them on their own terms at the cross and the empty tomb, is there anything left that can stand against him?

I love these words of the Apostle Paul’s: ”

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutelynothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us (Romans 8:31-39).