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Closer to Fall

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“At no other time (than autumn) does the earth let itself be inhaled in one smell, the ripe earth; in a smell that is in no way inferior to the smell of the sea, bitter where it borders on taste, and more honeysweet where you feel it touching the first sounds. Containing depth within itself, darkness, something of the grave almost” (Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters on Cezanne).

I get seriously annoyed with people who actually enjoy summer days when it’s over 90 degrees and the humidity is like walking into a sauna. With cooler weather, you can always add more layers. With hot, you can only take off so much before it becomes illegal (not to mention immoral).

According to my timeline, fall starts in 9 days, but the current weather has felt very autumn-esque. The last two days have been drizzly, grey, and a tad on the colder side. That kind of weather activates cravings in me for all things pumpkin spice, caramel apple cider, bonfires, hayrides and (best of all) flannel.

I look forward to the day when I can realistically wear flannel and not sweat to death. I believe there will be flannel in heaven– maybe those robes we wear will have flannel lining. Flannel is like a hug that you get to wear all day long.

Anyway, this being Tennessee, I’m almost certain there will be some kind of resurgence in hotter weather, with the politically incorrect name for that being Indian Summer. Then hopefully, fall will come back for real and stay a while and bring some color to the leaves.

“Is not this a true autumn day? Just the still melancholy that I love – that makes life and nature harmonise. The birds are consulting about their migrations, the trees are putting on the hectic or the pallid hues of decay, and begin to strew the ground, that one’s very footsteps may not disturb the repose of earth and air, while they give us a scent that is a perfect anodyne to the restless spirit. Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns” (Letter to Miss Eliot, Oct. 1, 1841, George Eliot).

A Good End to the Day

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“And I will not remember
That I even felt the pain.
We shall walk and talk
In gardens all misty and wet with rain
And I will never, never, never
Grow so old again” (Van Morrison, Sweet Thing).

I’m currently tucked into my bed with a purring feline burrowed under the covers and hanging out near my feet. I never said she was a normal feline, but she’s fun to have around and can at times be extremely cuddly and affectionate. I believe with all my heart that rescues are the best kind of pets to have, as they are the most grateful animals.

It was a grey drizzly kind of day all day. We never got the gallons of rain forecasted from the remnants of Hurricane Irma. It was more of a soft misty kind of rain that made me long for a fireplace and a hot cup of tea.

I had Astral Weeks by Van Morrison playing in the car on the way home from my obligatory stop Chick-fil-A after Kairos. It seemed like the perfect music for unwinding at the end of the day. And I had chicken noodle soup and no, I wasn’t sick. I chose it because it fit the rainy day perfectly.

It may only be Tuesday, but so far this week’s shaping up to be another good one. Hopefully, the sun will come out sooner than later, but I woke up again this morning, so I’m not going to complain too much about a little rain.

 

 

Sixteen Years Later

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Scott Willens, who joined the United States Army three days after the terrorist attacks on 9/11, pauses while reflecting by the South Pool on friends he has lost while on deployment during anniversary ceremonies at the site of the World Trade Center on 11 September 2012 in New York, New York, USA. POOL/Justin Lane/EPA

I will forever remember where I was and what I was doing on September 11, 2001. It’s etched in my memory the way that November 22, 1963 is for the older generations or even December 7, 1941 for those few who are still alive to recall the day that will live in infamy.

I had just walked into the office of my job in the Recreation Outreach Center at Germantown Baptist Church. My boss called me into his office and pointed me to the television displaying the aftermath of the first plane having flown into one of the World Trade Center buildings.

Neither one of us knew what was happening yet. Most at that time thought it was a freak accident. It wasn’t until the second plane struck the other WTC building that it became clear that it was very much a deliberate terrorist attack on American soil.

After all the smoke and debris cleared, just shy of 3,000 people had lost their lives. As monumentally horrific as that was, it could have been so much worse. Most of the people who worked in those buildings hadn’t made it into work yet, and many were led from the second building to safety before the second plane hit.

In many ways, you can almost use it as a historical marker. You can point to life before 9/11 and life since then. Air travel has drastically changed in the sixteen years since.

Maybe one good thing to come out of the tragedy is that we can’t take freedom and liberty for granted anymore. It’s not a given that everyone is a fan of democracy and there’s no guarantee that what we have will last forever.

It’s just one more reminder that, aside from death and taxes, the only true constant in this life is God. Every day you get with your loved ones is a gift and a blessing not ever to be taken for granted.

Sixteen years later, we still remember.

Your Portion

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Today in our prayer time at The Church at Avenue South, the topic was about how the Levites didn’t get a portion of the Promised Land as did the other tribes of Israel. Instead, they got cities within the tribal territories. God said to them, “I will be your inheritance.”

The girl leading the prayer time went on to talk about how hard it must have been for them to see everyone else receiving a visible inheritance but them.

She went on to say that many people feel that way. They see others finding love, marriage, and family while they wait for their special someone. They see others prospering in their calling while they still wait for theirs.

The natural response is envy and bitterness. It’s easy to jump to quick judgmental conclusions such as “Why them and not me? Certainly I deserve it much more than they, don’t I?”

But think of this. If you belong to God in Jesus, He is your inheritance. Whatever the desire in your heart that still remains unfulfilled, it will find its ultimate fulfillment in God Himself.

The intimacy and companionship of a marriage? The joys of a family? God has promised to be all that our hearts desire. Whatever the need, His grace is sufficient. He is truly enough.

The secret in the waiting is learning to be content no matter what. To choose gratitude for all you have versus being bitter about what is lacking. To live to the fullest every moment and not waste the present by pining for the future or regretting the past.

I’m thankful that God is enough for me, not that I don’t forget sometimes or have my moments of envy and bitterness. Still, the best and most beautiful moments are when I can truly say, “Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say, ‘It is well, it is well with my soul.'”

 

A Year Ago Today

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Thanks to Facebook, I was reminded that today is the one-year anniversary of my fender bender. The car behind me got hit and pushed into me. Thankfully, I sustained the least amount of damage.

Looking back, I see how it could have been so much worse. I could have been the middle car and ended up with damage on the front and back of my car. Instead, my rear bumper was all that needed repairing.

It took some patience and persistence to get my car fixed. The guy who started the whole incident was originally uncooperative with his insurance company, and that gummed up the works for a bit. Finally, he relented and everything got taken care of in good time.

I needed this reminder to help put my life in perspective. Every day that I’m alive is a good day. The only day that isn’t is the day that I fail to wake up at all. That day will be fantastic because I will wake up in the presence of Jesus. That’s truly a win-win.

My rear bumper needed replacing anyway. It had accumulated some dings and scratches in 19 years on the road. I would also seriously recommend USAA for those who are either military or have military family members. They are absolutely the best auto insurance company around.

At the end of the day, if you have nothing else to be thankful for, you can be grateful that you are still here. Let none of us ever take that blessing for granted ever again.

 

Music, Mustaches, and Crazy Kittens

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Today, country music lost two of its best. Both Don Williams and Troy Gentry (of Montgomery Gentry) died. Even when I wasn’t a fan of country music, I still was a fan of Don Williams and his soothing and gentle voice. I confess I’m not as familiar with Montgomery Gentry, but I do know that he was way too young to die.

I listened to Marty Robbins on the way home from picking up a prescription at Kroger’s. I have memories of seeing him and his luxurious mustache on TV (with only Rollie Fingers of the Milwaukee Brewers sporting better facial hair). He was another one that I liked before officially admitting to liking country music.

At home, I spent some quality time with Peanut, my 4-ish month old kitten who I rescued at the Williamson County Animal Shelter, and who in turn rescued me from grieving over the loss of my 17-year old Lucy who crossed the rainbow bridge in June.

She’s a typical kitten, so she’s hilarious and fun to watch. She can also be affectionate and incredibly cuddly. She does this high-pitched purring thing that’s more like a trilling sound. I’ve never heard it before from a cat.

My musical variety continues during my daily treks to and from work, church, and Franklin. I’ve listened to Queensryche, John Prine, Guns ‘N’ Roses, and Marty Robbins. I believe that crosses past eccentric musical tastes into the category of “They Should Make Pills for This.”

It was a good week. I woke up every morning and managed to avoid the dreaded toe tag, so I call it a win.  When people ask me how I am, I’m answering, “Better than I deserve.” I’m coming to see more and more every day how true that is.

Oh, by the way, Peanut the Spaz says hi.

 

A Good Word from Oswald

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“‘The water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life’ (John 4:14).

‘We are to be fountains through which Jesus can flow as “rivers of living water” in blessing to everyone. Yet some of us are like the Dead Sea, always receiving but never giving. Whenever the blessings are not being poured out in the same measure they are received, there is a defect in our relationship with Him. Stay at the Source, closely guarding your faith in Jesus Christ and your relationship to Him, and there will be a steady flow into the lives of others with no dryness or deadness whatsoever'” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

I don’t see Oswald climbing the charts as a popular baby name, but the man to whom the name belonged left a legacy of wisdom behind when he died at a young age.

If you want to read about his incredible life, I recommend the book Oswald Chambers: Abandoned to God: The Life Story of the Author of My Utmost for His Highest by David McCasland. Here’s a link to the amazon site where you can purchase the book.

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=oswald+chambers+biography

I think what he’s trying to get at is that we’re called to serve out of the overflow of time spent with Jesus. It’s no good if all we do is soak up and receive and never share with anyone else. It’s also no good if all we do is serve with no time left over to receive from God.

PS I also recommend My Utmost for His Highest as one of the best devotionals you’ll find. It’s a classic.

 

 

Blow Up Your TV

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“Blow up your TV, throw away your paper
Go to the country, build you a home
Plant a little garden, eat a lot of peaches
Try and find Jesus on your own” (John Prine)

Sometimes, I think that’d be the best way to live. I’ve come to the place where I can’t trust the news I read anymore. I can’t trust the social media posts I see when it comes to political issues.

It seems that everything is biased and everything is filtered through an agenda. As I’ve said before, I refuse to drink either the blue or red kool-aid and buy into either the Democrat or Republican deception. The older I get, the more independent my political views become.

Maybe I should just move to the country and plant a little garden, eat more peaches and read more books. You know, the real kind with actual pages that you turn.

In the mean time, perhaps I’ll read my Bible more and social media less. I’ll play with my kitten more.

Definitely, I want to get out more while the weather’s nice. There is no better antidote to the culturally programmed anxiety than a hike through the woods or even simply stepping outside and breathing in some fresh air.

I definitely pray more. I’m remembering what Ann Lamott said about how you know you’ve created God in your own image when He hates all the same people you do. I believe Jesus taught us to hate no one and pray for our enemies. That runs completely counter-cultural to the current trend of demonizing your political opponents and mocking those with different beliefs and ideologies.

Anyway, my cat is sitting on my laptop and purring, so I’d better wrap this thing up. Good night, everyone, and pleasant dreams to you all.

 

 

Cheekwood in September

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On this unseasonably fall-ish day, I went to Cheekwood Estate and Gardens for the first time ever. Mainly, it was for the Downton Abbey exhibit in the Museum of Art, but they also had gardens. Hence the name.

I confess that I am nowhere near an expert on fashion or design. I appreciate that the costumes had a lot of detail and that a lot of thought and care went into recreating the look from the upper class England just after World War I.

I was reminded that what I love more than just about anything is watching someone craft or paint or sing or play at something that they obviously love. When I see craftsmanship at its finest, I usually also see someone who does it for the sheer joy of it and not for monetary gain.

And then there were the gardens. Again, I’m no expert, but I do love seeing the riot of colors and patterns in the flowers. I could tell it was way more than someone throwing seeds randomly into the air and hoping some would stick. It took someone who loved what they did and who was a master at it.

Side note: don’t work to pay bills and make money, but work at something you love. Then it’s not a chore that you endure for 8 hours a day, always counting down the minutes to Friday at 5 pm.

My life and your life is the canvas and God is the artist. Nothing happens by chance and nothing catches the Artist off guard. He knows exactly what He’s doing at every single moment and has an end design in mind the whole time. Remember that when you’re in a dark place.

I’ll definitely be going back to Cheekwood, hopefully on a day as perfect as today. Maybe I’ll even take pictures the next time.

 

 

My Mushy Brain Post

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Somewhere between the long work week, the rain, and me getting up at 5 am every morning, my lil’ brain became mush. So don’t expect anything profound or deep from this post. I even made the mental faux pas of saying that Monday was Memorial Day (instead of Labor Day, which is the correct upcoming holiday).

After work, I met up with some fellow Kairos greeters for dinner at McAllister’s Deli. It felt a little surreal, as I used to work at a McAllister’s in Germantown (the one just outside of Memphis, not the one close to downtown Nashville). The food was good (one Spud Max), the conversation was good, the half tea/half lemonade was decent but not great.

Carried away by all the good feelings, I went next door to Golf Galaxy and bought a Yeti tumbler. Yeah, I know. I said I’d rather have a less expensive knockoff. And I don’t even play golf. Chalk it up to the mushy brain syndrome. Plus, I really like the retro green color.

My little kitten continues to be a sweet, affectionate little thing. I believe she’s as grateful today as she was on the day I rescued her and brought her home from the shelter just over two months ago. She likes to cuddle and purr at least once a day, and she seems to like just about everybody.

Right now, I’m content. The only improvement I might make is if I could somehow sleep under a tin roof in the rain. I think that’d definitely help me drift off to sleep faster.

As always, I’m thankful for another day to be alive with my five senses to take it all in. Truly, at the end of the day, it’s all grace and anything good that came my way today is all God.