Forgiving Yourself

“How can we forgive those who do not want to be forgiven? Our deepest desire is that the forgiveness we offer will be received. This mutuality between giving and receiving is what creates peace and harmony. But if our condition for giving forgiveness is that it will be received, we seldom will forgive! Forgiving the other is first and foremost an inner movement. It is an act that removes anger, bitterness, and the desire for revenge from our hearts and helps us to reclaim our human dignity. We cannot force those we want to forgive into accepting our forgiveness. They might not be able or willing do so. They may not even know or feel that they have wounded us.

The only people we can really change are ourselves. Forgiving others is first and foremost healing our own hearts” (Henri Nouwen).

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is yourself. It can be much harder to forgive yourself or to receive forgiveness than to give it. But at the end of the day, we are all broken and hopeless without Jesus. We all bring nothing to the table in and of ourselves but our own sin, but when we are in Jesus, we bring Jesus, and that is enough.

That Was God

“The great mark of a Christian is what no other characteristic can replace, namely the example of a life which can only be explained in terms of God” (Cardinal Emmanuel Suhard).

When I get to the end of my life, I don’t want people saying how great I was. I don’t want people talking about all the amazing things I said or did. I want people to look at my casket and say, “That was God. All of it.”

That was the key to the disciples in the book of Acts. People could look at them and tell they had been with Jesus. They weren’t just fans of Jesus. They weren’t followers in the social media sense of the word. They were immersed in Jesus. They ate and drank and breathed in Jesus every waking day for three years. That’s how people identified them from then on — as people who could see the marks of Jesus in them and knew that how they acted and spoke and moved was so much like Jesus that there could be no other explanation than they had been with Jesus.

If that was the goal of every believer, revival wouldn’t be a once in a lifetime thing. It would be an every single day thing. If the people who identified with Jesus actually spent enough time with Jesus so that they talked like Jesus and walked like Jesus, our churches would be full every single Sunday morning.

I don’t mean every single person would love us because of Jesus. Even Jesus Himself said that just as the world hated Him, so they would hate those who lived Him out and were His disciples. But enough people who want more than this world has to offer would be drawn to the Jesus in us to want to follow what they see in us.

May our lives be only explainable in terms of God as revealed in Jesus. May He always be on our lips and in our lifestyle.

Patience & Wisdom

Those are indeed two great and important qualities to possess. They’re also sorely lacking in much of the current environment where everything has to happen immediately and where most people react rather than respond.

In my own life, I’m tempted to try to get ahead of God instead of waiting on His timing. My problem is that I’m not seeing the whole picture from beginning to end and as part of the bigger story God is orchestrating involving all of creation and humanity. I just want what I want when I want it.

But good things come to those who wait. That might ring a bell for those of us who grew up listening to 80s CCM groups like Petra. But it’s also true. The song in question ends up saying so hurry up and wait upon the Lord. That’s also good advice.

Wisdom as I have learned is not mere accumulation of facts. Wisdom is knowledge applied to life. More precisely, wisdom is living God’s way. The Bible says that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom — not being afraid of God but having a reverential awe of Him (although we should understand that God owes us nothing and we owe Him everything).

Both together are essential. No one ever gets it perfectly 100% right in this life. We all fall short of complete patience and wisdom. But the closer we get as we get closer to God and God’s ways, the better off we are. The more we learn to walk in the way of the Rabbi who took the path to Calvary, the better our lives will be.

“Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time” (Jon Kabat-ZinnFull Catastrophe Living).

Little Victories

So last fall I did something a bit offbeat. I bought a tiny tent for Peanut. It was $20, so I figured it would be worth it to give Peanut yet another napping spot where she could hide from the world while she gets her 23 hours of beauty rest.

I didn’t figure on the required assembly, so it sat on my bed for a while before I finally dug up the courage to read the instructions and put it together. More accurately, I read the instructions, couldn’t figure them out, messaged the company, got sent an instructional Youtube video, watched the video, then put the tiny tent together.

Then Peanut showed her appreciation by sleeping right next to it. A couple of times, she poked her head in to look around but decided she wasn’t having any of it. Finally, today I put in a different blanket that she’s used before and voila! She finally decided to try it out.

Sometimes, life can be hard. There can be very little going right for you. That’s when it’s important to celebrate the little victories. Did you get to the end of the month with all your bills paid? Victory. Did you get to the end of the month, period? Victory.

Do you have a roof over your head? Victory. Did you have at least one warm meal today? Victory. Were the clothes you wore today clean? Victory. See? You have lots of little victories to celebrate if you think long and hard enough.

God is good even when times are tough. God is working even when we can’t see it or feel it. Once we get over our American entitlement mentality, we see that every single good thing in life is a gift from God. Sometimes the trials themselves can be gifts if they cause us to look up in prayer and desperation. Pain can be God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world, including those of us who profess to follow Him (with much thanks to C. S. Lewis for that one).

Give thanks for all the little victories, and maybe just maybe you’ll see some bigger breakthroughs in your life. At least you’ll see God more clearly.

Can God Use You?

I think if God can use any one of these people, He can use you and me. The key is not our ability but our availability. God isn’t looking for charismatic leaders or powerful speakers or Billy Graham-type evangelists as much as He’s looking for those whose hearts are open and willing. Simply, God is looking for people who will say YES, no matter the question.

The beautiful part is that there is no expiration on God’s call. There’s never a time limit. You never age out of being useful to God. God wants people both young and old, to kids from 1 to 92 like the old Christmas song says.

The Bible says, “God is always on the alert, constantly on the lookout for people who are totally committed to him” (2 Chronicles 16:9, The Message).

You may be a child. You may be past retirement age. It doesn’t matter. God has a call on your life that is uniquely suited to you and no one else. You alone can accomplish God’s specific calling, and you will only know what that is when you step out in faith (like Indiana Jones in that last real Indiana Jones movie).

May our answer to God always be YES, no matter the question.

Anointed with Oil

Have you ever wondered why Psalm 23 talks about anointing the head with oil? I guess I always assumed it had something to do with David being anointed king or maybe it was a symbolic gesture. Here’s something I found that explains it quite well. It’s also a good word for those of us who have intrusive thoughts that won’t go away:

“I always wondered what this part of Psalm 23 meant. I thought ‘He anoints my head with oil’ was figurative language to refer to God keeping the psalmist healthy. I never knew this parallel.

Sheep can get their heads caught in brambles and die trying to untangle themselves. There are horrible little flies that like to torment sheep by laying eggs in their nostrils that turn into maggots and drive the sheep to hit their heads on a rock, sometimes to death. His ears and eyes are also susceptible to tormenting insects.

The shepherd then anoints his entire head with oil. Then there is peace. That oil forms a protective barrier against the evil that tries to destroy the sheep.

Do you have moments of mental torment?

Do worrying thoughts invade your mind again and again?

Are you banging your head against the wall trying to stop them?

Have you ever asked God to anoint your head with oil?

It has an infinite supply! His oil protects and makes it possible for you to fix your heart, mind and eyes on Him today and always!

There is peace in the valley! May our good Father anoint your head with oil today so that your cup overflows with blessings! God is good and faithful!!” (Francisco J. Toledo).

A Bold Prayer

“Bold prayer : “God, change anything about me that isn’t about You” (Taylor Johnson).

I posted this little prayer on Facebook 11 years ago today. That was a good prayer in 2014 and still is in 2025. It probably will be in 2026 and beyond until Jesus comes back.

Another way of praying it is “Thy will be done,” the prayer that never fails (for those who are familiar with Jan Karon’s Mitford series and Father Tim Cavanaugh, you will get the reference).

It’s the prayer of the refiner where everything that is dross in us is burned away until all that remains is refined and the Maker can see His reflection in us.

Of all the things I could pray for and ask for (and there are lots), I think nothing trumps this one. To be more like Jesus is the ultimate goal, the endgame, the final destination because Heaven beyond all the gold streets and mansions and pearly gates is where Jesus is and where we’ll finally be fully mature and where our faith will finally be sight.

So in the meantime, my prayer is still “God, change anything about me that isn’t about You.”

Make me a disciple who makes disciples and who isn’t ashamed of the gospel. Make all of us bold in our faith to have gospel conversations with anybody, anytime, anywhere wherever we live, work, or play. Amen.

Those Two Little Words

If I were to quote a passage, do you think you’d catch it if I left something out? Like this:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your considerate spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:4-7, Legacy Standard Bible).

Did you notice anything missing? Now let me quote the verse with the missing part put back in:

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your considerate spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:4-7, Legacy Standard Bible, emphasis added.

I added the bold to make it obvious. Two little words “with thanksgiving” were missing from the first quotation. But that’s what is missing in a lot of our prayers and petitions. At least I can speak for myself and say that I go through a lot of requests in my prayers without ever giving thanks. But I think that’s the key.

I’m not saying that a few magical phrases will automatically make God grant you everything you ask for. But I wonder if sometimes if the gratitude part is what keeps us from seeing God at work in our petitions. Maybe the giving thanks part is like praying in faith believing you have already received what you ask for.

The answer may not always look like what you expect. But you can be sure that God honors His promises to give us what we ask when in faith with thanksgiving.

And note that it does not say that we’re ever to give thanks FOR everything but IN everything. We shouldn’t be thankful for cancer or car wrecks or wildfires. But we can give thanks in the midst of those things because God is working even in those cases for good. Out of those ashes will come something beautiful.

But let us be thankful people, regardless. Even if God did nothing else for us from here until eternity, we’d still have a million reasons for gratitude and thanksgiving. We could still give thanks if for nothing else than salvation and the next breath.

So let’s not leave those two little words out next time. Or, maybe I shouldn’t leave out those two little words next time.

Five Helps for the New Year

I found this on the interwebs and thought I’d share. It’s something to work on if you haven’t already made your new year resolutions. In fact, these are things you can work on at any time and at any point of the year, new or old.

“1. Thank God. Often and always. Thank him carefully and wonderingly for your continuing privileges and for every experience of his goodness. Thankfulness is a soil in which pride does not easily grow.

2. Take care about confession of your sins. As time passes the habit of being critical about people and things grows more than each of us realize. …[He then gently commends the practice of sacramental confession].

3. Be ready to accept humiliations. They can hurt terribly but they can help to keep you humble. [Whether trivial or big, accept them he says.] All these can be so many chances to be a little nearer to our Lord. There is nothing to fear, if you are near to the Lord and in his hands.

4. Do not worry about status. There is only one status that Our Lord bids us be concerned with, and that is our proximity to Him. “If a man serve me, let him follow me, and where I am there also shall my servant be”. (John 12:26) That is our status; to be near our Lord wherever He may ask us to go with him.

5. Use your sense of humour. Laugh at things, laugh at the absurdities of life, laugh at yourself.

Through the year people will thank God for you. And let the reason for their thankfulness be not just that you were a person whom they liked or loved but because you made God real to them” (Michael Ramsey, Archbishop of Canterbury, 61-74).

Grace (by Frederick Buechner)

“After centuries of handling and mishandling, most religious words have become so shopworn nobody’s much interested anymore. Not so with grace, for some reason. Mysteriously, even derivatives like gracious and graceful still have some of the bloom left.

Grace is something you can never get but can only be given. There’s no way to earn it or deserve it or bring it about any more than you can deserve the taste of raspberries and cream or earn good looks or bring about your own birth.

A good sleep is grace and so are good dreams. Most tears are grace. The smell of rain is grace. Somebody loving you is grace. Loving somebody is grace. Have you ever tried to love somebody?

A crucial eccentricity of the Christian faith is the assertion that people are saved by grace. There’s nothing YOU have to do. There’s nothing you HAVE to do. There’s nothing you have to DO.

The grace of God means something like: “Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are, because the party wouldn’t have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It’s for you I created the universe. I love you.”

There’s only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you’ll reach out and take it.

Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too” (Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking).

I always like the acronym for GRACE – God’s Riches at Christ’s Expense.

That means it is undeserved.

It’s the flip side of mercy. If grace is getting what you don’t deserve, then mercy is not getting what you deserve. And salvation involves both.

May we be a people of mercy and grace in 2025.