friendship

“But We Had Hoped . . . “

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despair

“And we had our hopes up that he was the One, the One about to deliver Israel” (Luke 24:21).

I know you know what it’s like to have your hopes dashed yet again.

Maybe you thought a certain person was the one, but it turned out that he wasn’t interested in you like that or she only wanted to be friends.

Maybe you invested in a friendship and found out that you weren’t nearly as high on the other person’s list of priorities. Or maybe that other person saw some of your flaws and decided you just weren’t worth the effort anymore.

Maybe you felt confident after a really good job interview only to discover the company went with someone else they felt was a “better fit.”

Maybe you gave your time and energy and talent to a company for so many years only to find yourself on the receiving end of a pink slip with the words that went something like “we had to make some cutbacks somewhere.”

Maybe you’re at the place where it’s easier not to hope anymore. Where it’s easier not to open up to anyone or trust anyone beyond a surface level anymore. Where it’s easier and safer to give up on your dreams than risk the possibility of more disappointment and heartache.

Just like those two disciples, maybe you and I have gotten so wrapped up in ourselves that we miss who it is that’s walking alongside of us. We’ve missed his comforting words. Don’t you see him yet?

It’s Jesus.

I love what I heard a pastor say recently that went something like this: “Aren’t you glad that at the greatest hour of need that God didn’t send a text or a skype invite? He sent Jesus.”

Jesus has come to hear your story and then connect it with his. Not that he’ll be surprised by anything you tell him. He already knows what you’ve been through, even the ugly parts you would never tell another living soul. And he loves you.

He’ll stick around when friends bail, when spouses leave, when children don’t want to come around anymore. He’ll love you even when you can’t find the strength to love yourself.

Tonight, I’m more thankful for Jesus than ever. I know that when I’m feeling overwhelmed by negative thinking and feelings of abandonment, he’s speaking peace into my chaos. He’s whispering truth over the lies I’m believing.

And he won’t ever leave me.

A Kairos Challenge

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Tonight, Mike Glenn spoke about the disciples on the road to Emmaus and how they failed to recognize Jesus because so often the last place we look for Jesus is right where we are. Jesus showed the highest compliment to his disciples when he called them friends and proved it when he laid down his life for these friends.

We are called to do the same. We are called to walk alongside people and be their friend, not for any gain or for any return, but simply for the sake of friendship. Even if the other person shows no inclination toward your viewpoint and wants nothing to do with your God, you are still called to be a friend.

The example Jesus showed us is that a friend is a friend, regardless. I can never give up on a friend because Jesus never gave up on me even though he had plenty of opportunities and reasons to do so.

We’re also called to be neighbors. Not in the sense of location, but in the sense of hospitality. The Good Samaritan parable shows us that the definition of a neighbor is someone who has a need that we have the power to meet, regardless of whether that person looks like us, acts like us, or believes us. Regardless of whether that person is likable or not.

I can’t remember where I heard it before and I’m sure I’ve shared it before, but I love the idea that Jesus is the ultimate neighbor. I was the one lying beaten and bloody on the side of the road, half dead. Jesus was the only one to stop and help me. He was the only one who paid for my care.

So, the challenge tonight is to be a friend and a neighbor. Not necessarily to shove my faith down anyone’s throat or prove the existence of God and the Bible. Just to love people where they are for who they are just like someone once loved me.

That’s all.

Reminders That Life Really Is Good

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I woke up today to snow on the ground. To those living above the Mason-Dixon line, that may not be a big deal, but it is for this guy living way down in Tennessee. It may not have lasted, but it was pretty.

I may not have everything I want in life, but I do have everything I need. I am still so very blessed.

One of my friends is getting re-baptized at her church. I plan on being there to celebrate and rejoice in this brave step of obedience on her part. I love seeing how God has been working in the lives of family and friends lately. It’s a good reminder for me that those prayers of mine really are getting past the ceiling. James writes that the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective. I do know that they work.

I’ve learned over time that real maturity is seeing God bless someone else and being happy. Even if that person gets something you’ve wanted but not received, you can still choose to be happy for him or her. I’ve been envious and bitter in the past about such people, but I’m learning to rejoice for them. I think there’s hope for me yet.

I keep thinking that one day this little blog of mine will explode and start raking in thousands of readers. Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m thankful for those who take the time to read my ramblings when there are so many other things competing for their time and attention.

God is good, all the time. Not just when I feel that he is good. Not when I feel he’s doing right by me. All the time. That’s 24/7.

Just so you know, if you ask me to pray for you about something, I do. If you ask me to pray for a loved one, I will. Keep reminding me that life is good and that God is good, because I forget early and often. I’ll try to do the same for you. Deal?

 

To Be Liked or To Not Be Liked. . . That Is the Question

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cameronincar1

I have given this a lot of thought. Probably too much, given my tendency to way overthink matters. But here goes.

I’ve decided that it is just too much work to hate anyone. To spend all that time concentrating negative emotions on one person and letting that person dictate your life is tiring. Just thinking about hating someone is enough to make me want to lie down until the feeling passes.

I also believe that life is too short to spend it disliking anyone. I know this opinion is probably one I hold by myself and I don’t ask you to agree with it, but I’m standing firm on this one. You may not get along with every single person, but you can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt and give them grace, because if you haven’t already needed it from someone else, you will one day. I guarantee it.

You have the perfect right not to like me. You don’t even have to have a valid reason for it. It’s your choice and right as an American. You may not like my personality. I may rub you the wrong way. I may occasionally say and do (without realizing it) really dumb stuff that turns you off.

It’s your privilege as a human. It is also my privilege to not return the dislike. It is my calling as a believer to show kindness and the love of Jesus to you. It’s my calling in Christ to pray for you daily and to wish you nothing but the very best.

Sometimes relationships go wrong, whether in the workplace or in social settings or anywhere else, and you will never be able to put them right again. You will always wonder what might have been. But just because that person has vanished from off your radar screen doesn’t mean they’ve vanished from God’s. He still knows where they are and what they’re going through.

So I have a list of people I’m praying for who will probably never know it. That’s okay. I only pray they find a true peace that passes understanding and a lasting joy that nothing can take away. I pray they find Jesus to be more desirable than anything else in this world.

And I wish them nothing but the very best.

Freedom and Other Thursday Randomness

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dog with gate open

I don’t understand a lot of what happens. I don’t understand why people act the way they do. I don’t know why I act the way I do half the time.

But I do know this.

The best kind of freedom is freedom from the expectations of others. The freedom from being a slave to whether someone else likes or doesn’t like you. The freedom to know and be your truest self, regardless of who sees or responds.

I’m not there yet. Maybe you’re not either. I have a strong feeling many people wish they were there, but aren’t just yet. It’s a precious few folks who find this kind of freedom.

People come and people go. You never know who will show up and who will leave. You never know who will be your friend and who won’t. You just have to trust God daily and cherish the people he brings into your life while they’re there.

Sometimes, when my life feels most unstable, that’s when I appreciate the most God’s unchangingness– how he is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His promises are true yesterday, today, and forever, too.

Cling to the eternal and let what is temporary go. Or, as Jim Elliot said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

I’ve always loved that. And that’s what I intend to do, God willing and with God’s help. And today is one of those days when I need an extra helping of God’s help.

I’ve been told that God helps those who help themselves. But if we could help ourselves, we wouldn’t need God’s help in the first place. I think it’s more like this. God helps those who know they can’t help themselves, who have tried and tried and failed so many times before only to end up back where they started. Who know that they are poor and wretched and miserable and blind and needy without God. The poor in spirit.

Lord, may we fall into your grace and find that it is more than sufficient.

Amen.

Chasing Cool

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Something we talked about at Kairos Roots made me think of the movie Clueless. I realize that the confession that I’ve seen the movie will result in my man-card being confiscated and quite possibly shredded, burned, and the ashes buried in cat litter, but I don’t care. It’s a good movie and there is a point to this.

In the movie, Brittany Murphy’s character starts off desperately trying to fit in and be what everybody else thinks she should be. I’ve done that. Sometimes, it’s like wearing shoes that are one size too small or clothes that may be in fashion but don’t really fit who you are (another hit to the ol’ man card).

The best part of the movie is when she finally is able to be comfortable in her own skin and be who she is, qurks and all, instead of trying to conform to everybody else’s ideas of who she should be.

I think many of us do that because we don’t think that the real you and the real me is good enough. We think nobody will like us if we present our true selves. But the burden of wearing masks and living somebody else’s life can be just as burdensome and overwhelming.

Can I set your heart at ease about this?

God made you and called what he made very good. He thinks you’re good enough. Not every single person in your life will think that way, but  the right people, the ones God puts in your life, will think so. Not only that, they will make a point to remind you and to call out in you those qualities and gifts and talents that you may not even see in yourself.

Surround yourself with these people. Look for those who bring out the best in you and lift you up and want to be around you because you’re you. Not those who want to mold you into something you’re not.

Also, look for those who might need your encouragement. Those who are walking down a path that you’ve already been down. Those who need to know that somebody believes in them and likes them for who they are without them having to play games or wear masks or jump through hoops.

The most powerful people on earth and the greatest examples of the power of the gospel are those who have found their true identity in Christ and are living out of that, empowered by the confidence that comes from knowing they are the chosen and beloved of God.

May we come to the place where we live like that.

For a Good Friend

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This is for you, my friend who will remain anonymous but not forgotten:

I know that you’re getting ready to move to a new city in a few months and a brand new adventure in the story God has authored for you. I know I probably won’t see you anymore, unless God has a surprise twist in the story that I’m unaware of (and he’s better than anyone at that sort of thing).

I wanted you to know how very thankful I am for you. Your friendship truly has blessed me more than you will ever know.

You believed in me and my blog when it seemed that no one else did. I had almost decided to quit when you encouraged me by telling me how much my blogs had blessed you. You helped me believe in myself and the gifts God gave me again.

No matter what I was going through or what my day had been like, seeing your smiling face always made my day better. I couldn’t help but smile and be filled with joy.

We never hung out that much. You had a crazy hectic schedule that probably could have benefited from having a 26-hour day instead of the usual 24. While I wish we could have hung out more, I’m grateful for the times we were able to get together and talk and share stories of God’s faithfulness.

You’re the kind of person that has hundreds of friends, that anyone would be lucky to know. I’m still not sure why you wanted to be friends with me in the first place, but I’m glad you did. I’m better for it.

I heard once that a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. You reminded me of my song that I had forgotten and, thanks to you and a few others, I am singing again.

I hope we can keep in touch after you move, but if not, I still have your footprints in my heart to remind me that God still does bless me, because one of those blessings was you.

I will be praying God’s best for you, believing great things for you, and rooting for you every step of the way. I firmly believe that the future God has for you is better than even your wildest dreams can conceive.

May the Lord always bless and keep you and make his face shine on you and grant you peace. Every time I order a chai frappacino with caramel drizzle, I will think of you and smile.

Phil. 1:3,

Your forever friend in Christ.

Mourning a Friend

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I found this in the preface of a book I bought for $3. I thought it spoke so beautifully to those who have had to say goodbye to loved ones this side of heaven. I believe it’s by Charles Wesley and I hope it speaks to you the way it did to me:

“If death my friend and me divide,
Thou dost not, Lord, my sorrow chide,
Or frown my tears to see;
Restrained from passionate excess,
Thou bidst me mourn in calm distress
For them that rest in Thee.

I feel a strong immortal hope,
Which bears my mournful spirit up
Beneath its mountain load;
Redeemed from death, and grief, and pain,
I soon shall find my friend again
Within the arms of God.

Pass a few fleeting moments more
And death the blessing shall restore
Which death has snatched away;
For me Thou wilt the summons send,
And give me back my parted friend
In that eternal day.”

Kudos

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I would like to give recognition to some people. You can call it “giving a shout-out” or “giving props,” but for the sake of not dating myself, I’m going to give kudos. Besides, kudos kinda sounds like candy, and who doesn’t like candy?

Kudos to those who are willing to step out from sitting in the same place with the same people at church events and will sit with a stranger and start a conversation and make that person feel welcome. Sometimes, it’s good to break out of the familiar cliques. It’s hard, but worth it.

Kudos to those who send out random notes or texts or posts of encouragement throughout the day. I know for me, those have rarely been random, but have always come at the right time when I needed a good word.

Kudos to those who try and fail regularly, but who keep trying anyway. To those who know that success is 99 steps back, but 100 steps forward.

Kudos to those whose names and faces most people will probably never know, but who are the real heart and soul of any local church. Those who take care of babies in the nursery. Those who stand out in the parking lot and direct traffic. Those who set-up for events and clean up afterward. Those who are mentoring new believers and helping them understand what following Christ really looks like.

Kudos to you for every time you didn’t feel like it, but chose instead to do a small act of kindness anyway. To you who went and served the homeless or volunteered for VBS. To you who smiled and offered a word of encouragement to a stranger. You served Jesus.

You may not feel like you did much or that anyone saw or cared. You may feel that in the grand scheme of things, your little contributions didn’t mean anything.

But God knows and He sees. And just as He knows the number of hairs on your head and the number of tears you’ve cried, He knows all that you’ve done for Him out of a heart full of love and gratitude.

Trust me. He knows.

The Broken-Hearted God

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“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation” (Luke 19:41-44).

Have you ever really thought about what breaks God’s heart? Has it entered into your mind that God’s heart can be broken? It can. Throughout Scripture, we see how God is broken over His wayward people who refuse to come back to Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, particularly in the Prophets, we see how God refers to His people as His bride who He found abandoned and forsaken and set His compassion and love on, only to see Her turn away from Him after other lovers in the form of other gods and man-made religious systems.

Jesus wept over a people who saw what He could do and how He fulfilled every prophecy about who the Messiah would be, yet failed to recognize God in the flesh right in front of their very eyes. He wept because He knew what was coming for His beloved city.

If I am identified with Christ, then shouldn’t my heart be broken over those around me who are lost and without hope and without Christ? Shouldn’t I be brought to tears over how so many people I know may face an eternity apart from the God who made a way of salvation for them?

The truth is that my heart is not broken, that I don’t shed tears over lost people, that most of the time I don’t really even give them a second thought. I’m too busy rushing from one Christian activity to the next to notice or care. That’s just me being honest.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of compassion that weeps for the broken and outcast and forgotten and abandoned. Give me tears for those who will turn to anything and everything but You and find only broken cisterns instead of Living Water. May I see with Your eyes the hurt and feel with Your heart the pain, so that I can love them in the same way You do.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.