forgiveness

Things I Love 18: I’m Not Eighteen Nor Am I Alice Cooper

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I’m sitting all alone on a Saturday night (through nobody’s fault but my own). It’s not so bad. It’s good to be alone every once in a while instead of always needing to be around people and events. I’m not saying I want every Saturday to be like this, but one in a blue moon is good for me. It might even help this blog. So, starting at #446, I continue:

446) The new family tradition of the water balloon toss where none of us really know the rules and none of us are really any good but all of us have a grand time anyway.

447) The thought that when I get turned down romantically that she’s the one ultimately missing out and not me (insert smiley face here).

448) Discovering an old band like The Cardigans and realizing they had so many great songs other than their one-hit wonder song.

449) That I’m not in control and I don’t want to be in control. God is more than capable without my help or expertise.

450) God allowing me to wake up this morning.

451) Being 41 when so many family members and classmates and friends won’t ever get to see that age.

452) That I may actually finish this book I’ve been raving about for weeks (but not really reading) called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

453) With God, I’ve learned to never say never to anything because God is the ultimate Master of Surprise in relationships, careers, or anything else you can think of.

454) Both cats and dogs (and who says that I should have to choose one or the other?)

455) Having 411 songs on my iPhone and a freakish amount of variety that I can carry around in my pocket.

456) That your smart phone has way more capacity and memory than the computers at Apollo during all those space missions during the 60’s and 70’s.

457) Getting hand-written notes.

458) My lava lamp that I got from Spencer’s on sale for $10.

459) Jesus loves me where I am but refuses to leave me there.

460) Finding deals at Goodwill like my $7 red suitcase.

461) Old-school country music like Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.

462) Living in Nashville.

463) That my movie tastes include movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary.

464) Seeing the movie Grease in an actual movie theatre (but not when it first came out ’cause I was a bit too young for it then).

465) Going to McCreary’s Irish Pub and knowing just about everyone who works there and them knowing me by name.

466) Going in to Target for one thing and coming out with everything but that one thing I went in there for.

467) Nerding out at McKay’s Used Bookstore (which also has DVDs, blu rays, records, books, and anything to satisfy my inner geek).

468) Shopping and eating local whenever I can to support the community.

469) Being an Independent and not drinking either the Republican or Democratic kool-aid.

470) That both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my last nerve.

471) My collection of old transistor radios (which I am happily accepting donations for).

472) That as of this writing there are only 178 days , 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 7 seconds left until Christmas. Not that I’m counting.

473) Being able to google anything to make myself seem a whole lot smarter and hipper than I really am.

474) That death, hell, and the grave do not have the last word. Jesus does.

475) Finally beating a level on Candy Crush saga.

476) That my 70+ suntan spray will probably keep me safe in the event of a nuclear holocaust with only minor sunburn.

477) My old 1828 Bible that is still in very good condition.

478) Only 532 more to go (and I didn’t even need a calculator to figure that out!)

479) Realizing that forgiveness is never earned or deserved but is purely and simply grace lived out.

480) Having the very best sister in the whole wide world (and no, that is not up for debate or just my opinion, it is a fact).

Things I Love 14: Back to Life, Back to Reality

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OK, I confess. I’ve slacked off from reading the book that I said was so amazing, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s still amazing, but I’ve been distracted from reading by a multitude of things, mostly involving my ADD. So I do plan to resume reading the book at some point, but I continue with the list currently, starting at #322.

322) Those of you who are old enough now have that song by Soul II Soul stuck in your head, thanks to my oh-so-clever subtitle.

323) Grabbing coffee with friends at the multiple coffee locations around town (and I would love to meet any of you for coffee and conversation, preferably at The Frothy Monkey or The Well, but Starbucks works just as well).

324) When the Word of God comes alive to me and speaks to my life in powerful ways.

325) Fellow cat-lovers who understand that cats aren’t dogs, but can be very loving in their own ways.

326) Finally being able to speak the truth in love and not have the co-dependent, approval-addicted part of me worried sick about losing the friend.

327) Orange popsicles.

328) Still getting a kick out of trying to type out a word and accidentally typing the word “poop.”

329) The people who get my weirdness and love me anyway.

330) The honesty and vulnerability of the teaching pastor at Kairos, Mike Glenn.

331) Singing along with Stevie Wonder in the car (well, not actually Stevie Wonder, but his songs).

332) That Stevie Wonder is not driving the car while I’m listening to his music in my car.

333) I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.

334) Really small Bibles.

335) God loving me when I’m most selfish and petty and whiny.

336) When friends have every right to write me off, but choose to give me grace instead.

337) Recognizing a thought for the lie that it is and taking it captive through the power of Christ in me.

338) One-hit wonders from the 90’s.

339) The Cheesecake Factory.

340) The Mall at Green Hills (even though parking there is a nightmare).

341) Because of Jesus goodbyes are only temporary.

342) Feeling God’s pleasure over me when I run.

343) Learning more about Jesus from faith-traditions that are different than mine.

344) The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.

345) The steak bowl from Chipotle with Smoked Chipotle Tobasco sauce on it (to add a little extra kick to the flavor).

346) Food in general.

347) My $5 polarized sunglasses from Savannah, Georgia that I still somehow have not managed to lose yet.

348) Being able to use the suffering and hardship in my own life to help someone else who’s going through something similar.

349) Little baby shoes. Even though I don’t have kids yet, I love how they can make boots and sandals and tennis shoes so small.

350) That I’m now going to start calling my tennis shoes “tenny runners” just to be different.

Things I Love 10: I’m Not Even Close to Being Done With This

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Everybody sing with me,”This is the list that never ends, and it goes on and on my friends.”

As we come to part X of my list of things I love, it does seem like it will never end. But trust me, it will. We may both be in our 80’s by then, but I will finish this list one day.
So continuing with #214:

214) People who actually respond back to my texts and posts.

215) Fridays.

216) When my cat wakes me up in the middle of the night by jumping on my bed and purring loudly in deep contentment.

217) Old Warner Brothers cartoons.

218) When I remember someone’s name after only meeting them once.

219) The corned beef and cabbage at McCreary’s Irish Pub.

220) That with God all my past sins are forgiven and forgotten.

221) Reconciliation of relationships.

222) My grandmother’s banana pudding.

223) Answered prayer.

224) Seeing the amazing transformative power of God at work in my life and in the lives around me.

225) Cheesy 80’s movies.

226) The good feeling from being in shape physically.

227) Remembering a good dream.

228) Finding money I didn’t know I had in the pockets of clothes I haven’t worn in a while.

229) Being in the know.

230) Singing along with a good song on the radio.

231) Trying new foods at new restaurants.

232) That Jesus knows my name and always knows where I am.

233) A good, thick biography. The thicker the better.

234) Alan Thicke. Why not?

235) Hearing an old song I had forgotten about and having long-buried memories that go with it come back to mind.

236) Coma-inducing Southern sweet tea.

237) When I know for sure God is speaking to me and I am still enough to listen.

238) Randomly bursting into song in public for no good reason.

I’d love to hear some of the little things that bring you joy. I might even stealborrow them for future Things I Love blogs.

Things I Love 7: The Blog Series That Wouldn’t Die (Like Freddy Krueger)

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I realize that I’m getting ridiculous with this 7th installment of the blog series of things I’m thankful for, but I do really have so many things (most of them small and seemingly insignificant) that I love and am thankful for. This one starts with #146. And yes, I am that scatter-brained that every time I do one of these I have to look up the last one to see what numbers I ended with.

146) The people who read my blogs. Each and every one of you make me feel special.

147) That  even if I’ve completely blown it with a friend and the worst case scenario happens and she never wants to see me or talk to me ever again (which I hope is NOT the case), then my world won’t end and life will go on and I will be okay because God’s grace is still sufficient.

148) Running my favorite trail in Crockett Park.

149) Dog-sitting (or cat-sitting) for a friend or family member. And yes, I can be hired for a reasonable fee.

150) When I realize how truly blessed I am to be alive and healthy for another day and how many won’t ever get that privilege again.

151) When I can make people smile or laugh.

152) When I see the face of someone who really gets how much God truly does love them.

153) The salty smell of the ocean air when I’m near the beach.

154) Listening to my grandfather’s old pink tube radio and thinking that it’s the same one that kept him company in his workshop all those years.

155) When I am simply overwhelmed by the joy of the Lord.

156) The sun breaking through after several grey, rainy days in a row.

157) Whenever and wherever mercy triumphs over judgment.

158) The calming sound of a ceiling fan at night that helps me drift off to sleep.

159) Seeing answered prayers for those I’ve prayed for a long time.

160) When I fail family and friends and find grace and forgiveness rather than judgment and condemnation.

161) My old comfortable pair of sandals that have taken me to many places and adventures with good friends (and kept me from getting blisters).

162) Being able to look back on friendships that ended and remember the joy and good times instead of the hurt.

163) Mixing the creamy jalapeno ranch and the salsa at Chuy’s for the perfect dip for those amazing tortilla chips.

164) The chicken tortilla soup at Chuy’s (after those chips and dip).

165) The joy of sparking new conversations at restaurants and coffee shops with strangers who become later become friends.

166) That my Abba Father still delights in me, dances with joy, and sings me to sleep every single night.

167) Sitting still in the pre-Civil War St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in downtown Franklin and feeling the peace of Christ wash over me.

Things I Love 5: The Blog Series That Just Won’t Die

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I know I’m approaching slasher film status with my fifth blog in this series. Thankfully, this blog is 100% Jason- and Freddy Krueger-free. I’m keeping it strictly PG for the kids.

So let the list of things I love continue from where I left off at #102.

102) Seeing someone who really hurt me, albeit unintentionally, and being able to be friendly and cordial with her and realize that means that I am truly growing in grace.

103) The freedom that comes when you can finally admit that you were hurt and your world didn’t end.

104) Friends who you can vent to who will not just tell you what you want to hear, but will give you much-needed wisdom.

105) Good soul food by people who know how to cook it up right.

106) The dream of someone out there who will fall in love with me for me.

107) Those moments of unexpected and unexplainable joy.

108) The fact that I have enough things I love to make up five blogs’ worth of material (and counting).

109) That my parents are still married (which I now know is a rare blessing these days).

110) That I can step on my cat’s tail and/or on her foot and five minutes later she will still be in my lap, contentedly snoozing away.

111) The smell of apples (and the taste of a fresh Fuji apple).

112) Chocolate Cheerios (though I’m a bit peeved they weren’t around when I was growing up).

113) The new-found ability to start up a conversation with anyone at any time and realizing that people actually want to talk with me.

114) The amazing display of cheeses at The Fresh Market.

115) The book that inspired all these blogs– One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. One of my favorite books I’ve ever read.

116) Another day to be alive and blessed.

117) French Toast from The Pancake Pantry (but only the one in Gatlinburg).

118) Being in Gatlinburg and having a million happy childhood memories stirred up all over again.

119) Any movie where Fred Astaire dances with Ginger Rogers.

120) Being able to roll over and sleep for another hour.

121) The freedom of not having to try to be friends with everyone.

122) The fact that there will be at least one more of these blogs (and likely more after that).

More Lessons from Kairos

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Tonight, Mike Glenn spoke about King David, literally the runt of the litter who became the most famous king in the history of Israel. You know it’s bad when you’re father forgets about you when counting his own sons and has to be reminded about you.

There are several ways to define David as a man and as a king. You could define him by his military successes and his lengthy reign as king. You could also define him as someone who made several tragically bad choices, starting off with gazing a bit too long at Bathsheeba in the buff. If you haven’t read the whole story, I’ll keep it brief and just say that the story involved adultery, bribery, lying, more bribery, more lying, and (to top it all off) murder. Not to mention a cover-up that would would have made national headlines even today.

But the Bible defines David a different way. David is spoken of as a man after God’s own heart. Not as an adulterer, not as a murderer. But a man after God’s own heart.

It took God’s prophet speaking some fairly harsh words to get David’s attention, but all you have to do is read Psalm 51 to see what true brokenness and repentance looks like. David wasn’t just sorry for his sins. He didn’t just feel bad and promise never to do those things again. From that point on, he was a different man.

To be sure, his sin had consequences. He had strife within his kingdom and even within his own family from then on. But he knew where to go when the troubles and storms came. God was his safe refuge in the tempest, a strong fortress, a cleft in the rock for him to hide in.

You may have a dirty secret you don’t want anyone to know about. You may have made horrendously poor choices and have lingering regrets that you live with on a daily basis. That doesn’t have to define you. That doesn’t have to dictate who you are or where you’re going.

Let God’s love define you. Let God’s forgiveness dictate your future. May you hear the voice of your Abba Father calling you the Beloved and may you not only hear it, but believe it and live in it every single day.

 

Thoughts About the Boston Bombers

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I know there are some people out there that are celebrating the capture of the two individuals who allegedly set up the bomb devices that killed three and injured so many at the end of the Boston Marathon. I know many people out there want these two to die slowly and painfully so that they feel all the suffering they inflicted on their victims.

But I wonder how many out there will pray for them? I wonder how many out there really believe that Jesus really died for EVERYONE and that God’s love is truly UNCONDITIONAL. Even for terrorists and criminals.

I think so. Just ask the Apostle Paul.

I also wonder what might have happened if either of these two men had seen the love of Jesus lived out before them. If someone had come alongside of them years before and said, “I’m your friend,” not out of a need to convert somebody but out of a genuine love that expects nothing back in return.

I wonder who will mourn the tragic tale of two lives gone horribly wrong and how they got so blinded that they willingly embraced the lies and the hate that could only lead to nothing but destruction and despair.

I am saddened at the lives lost– all of them. I am glad that justice is served, but that doesn’t mean that I rejoice over death. Even God doesn’t rejoice in the death of the wicked (see Ezekiel 18:23 and Ezekiel 33:11).

Faith shouldn’t ever be about us versus them. It should be about us and God. It should be about who we are and who we would have been apart from the grace of God. It should be about seeing the best in people, not the worst, and helping them to see it, too. It should be about holding on to the Love that is stronger than Evil and Death and Hell and believing that this Love ultimately wins out in the end.

 

 

Confession Session #3,908: Friendships And All That Other Stuff

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I’ll be the first to admit it. I’m not the best at relationships, especially friendships. I tend to either be overwhelmingly friendly or awkward. I think most people have a low Greg-tolerance and after they’ve reached that limit, they have to go home and wash their hair or feed the dog.

I know I overstay my welcome in certain conversations and the other person finally has to go home, put on some Barry Manilow, and lie down for a while. FYI: you can tell me in a nice way to shut up and go away if you need to.

I think I’ve lost a few friendships through being too weird or too goofy or too me. And some relationships have simply run their course and they have served God’s purpose in my life (and hopefully, the reverse).

In the past, I might have obsessed over those and wondered what I could have done differently. I might even have made a fool of myself trying to extend a friendship beyond its natural life.

After all that, I confess that I’m much better than I used to be. I try not to talk so fast and to not always talk about me. I’m learning to listen and not always be thinking about my next response. I’m growing in grace.

Jesus truly has been the friend that’s closer than a brother and he’s teaching me how to be a better friend. A better prayer warrior. A better empathizer. And hopefully, one day, a better husband and father.

So, I’m asking for grace from you. And I’m trying to give it in those moments when you need it. All the best relationships are based on grace and forgiveness and second chances and do-overs.

I believe that what goes around comes around. I also believe that the way you treat others indicates your love for God. People who love God and are secure in God’s love for them can’t help but be loving and forgiving and generous in their relationships.

I know a little of me goes a long way sometimes, so I’ll try not to overstay my welcome. And I’ll give you space when you need a break from me, ’cause there are times I need a break from me (said jokingly).

May we each be Jesus to each other and help each other as we all try to figure out this crazy life business. We really do need each other.

An Easter Reboot

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“The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity and held safe in an everlasting embrace… We must dare to opt consciously for our chosenness and not allow our emotions, feelings, or passions to seduce us into self-rejection” (Henri Nouwen).

The stone was rolled away from the door, not to permit Christ to come out, but to enable the disciples to go in” (Peter Marshall).

Sometimes, it takes Easter to get my mind refocused. Like so many of you, I can get off track so very easily and forget who I am and what I’m here for. I need to be reminded that I am indeed the beloved, the chosen child of God. My purpose is to live that out as best I can, to become what God has already declared me to be.

I take Easter for granted because I already know how the story ends. Or at least I think I do.

In fact, Easter isn’t an end, but a beginning. C. S. Lewis in his book, The Last Battle, said that all of history was merely a title page and a preface. Eternity is the real beginning of the book, where each chapter is better than the last and the story is truly neverending.

Easter reminds me that my forgiveness might have been free for me, but not free. it might have not cost me anything, but it was not without cost. I don’t need to forget that my forgiveness cost God the very highest price and is the most extravagant gift ever given in history. I don’t need to take that lightly or for granted.

Easter also reminds me that failure isn’t final, that goodbyes aren’t forever, and that truth and faith and love and hope all survive the grave and come out stronger on the other side. I guess that’s why I love it so much.

 

“

 

Just Some Thoughts From Another Good Night at Kairos

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In spite of the cold and rain, it was a good night. At Kairos, Mike Glenn wrapped up the series called “What’s Love Got to Do With It?” with some final thoughts on what true love is. And yes, you know that Tina Turner song is now stuck in your head.

I remember reading somewhere that love isn’t sentiment as much as it is service. It isn’t feelings as much as it is action. As the old dc talk song says, “Love is a verb.”

Most of the time, we think of love as a contract. I’ll love you if you love me back, but don’t expect me to keep loving you if you quit. In other words, you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.

But God’s love isn’t a contract. It’s a covenant where he essentially says to his people, “I will always be your God, your Savior, your Lord, your Provider, and your Defender.”

His love isn’t contingent on ours. I’d be in serious trouble if that were the case. His love is forever.

In Matthew, Jesus defines real love. It’s one thing to love those who love you back and be friends with those who are easy to get along with that. Anybody can do that, with or without God’s help. But it’s entirely another thing to love your enemies and do good for those who despise you. It takes supernatural grace to do that.

In other words, people expect you to give as good as you get. They expect you to fight fire with fire, anger with anger, grudges with grudges, and hate with hate. But Jesus is calling us to fight anger with kindness, grudges with forgiveness, and hate with love. That’s the only way to end the seemingly endless cycle.

Love doesn’t stay put. It goes to where the hurting people are, to where the need is greatest, to the dangerous places that most people won’t go. It looks for and draws out the best in the other person, even when that other person can’t see it.

We need more love like that. I need more love like that. An unbelieving and lost and hurting world needs to see love like that.