Joni Mitchell and Another Wednesday Evening

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It was a perfect Wednesday evening. Here in the glorious state of Tennessee, we’re in that wonderful time of spring, just before it starts to get sticky hot and humid, where the temperature is just right.

I love driving home when the weather’s like that. There’s something about temps in the low 70s and a cool spring breeze that awakens all my happy memories from childhood and makes me hopeful for the future. What is it in the springtime air that makes me feel a little less anxious and a little more assured of God’s plan for me?

Also, I had Ms. Joni Mitchell playing in the car, which always makes everything better, especially her albums like Clouds and Blue. Those are currently my top two favorites of hers.

We all need days like these when hope seems like a precious and rare commodity. We need little God-winks to remind us that God still cares and still watches and still provides.

I’ve seen too many times where God came though at just the right time to doubt, yet somehow I still do. I think somehow this time will be different than the other 99, that maybe God will be caught napping or away from His desk. Or maybe that He’s decided that I’m not worth the effort anymore.

I remember those thoughts and feelings. I know where they come from. Not from the Father but from the father of lies. I let these thoughts pass right on through without heeding them at all. I remember the promises of God that are always YES and AMEN in Jesus and then I have hope again.

I have to remind myself that every moment is grace, even the lonely moment or the anxious moment or the doubful moment. Every moment that I’m alive to see what God will do next in my life is grace.

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.

 

Reminders for When That Mid-Life Crisis Hits

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Maybe it will hit in the middle of the night.

Maybe you’ll wake up and wonder where your life has gone and what you’ve done with it.

Maybe you’ll have that pounding in your chest and that overwhelming anxiety, scared that you’ve wasted your one and only life up to this point.

Maybe, just maybe, you feel like it’s too late to make anything of yourself and that you’re doomed to mediocrity.

Remember this: not everything that pops into your head is from you. The father of lies can be incredibly sneaky about pushing little fabrications into your mind about your identity and your purpose.

If you let him, he’ll have you believing that you have no purpose or worth. That your life doesn’t matter. That it’s too late to change and become who you might have been, that best self you always dreamed you might be.

Let your Abba Father speak truth over you. Hear Him call you Beloved, not out of anything you’ve done to earn special merit or out of any outstanding character traits that you possess, but simply because you are His.

Let your Abba Father remind you that you have supreme worth because you are created in the image of God and because Jesus paid the ultimate price for your redemption.

That’s what counts in the end.

Not salary.

Not titles.

Not awards.

Not accolades.

But simply living out of being the Beloved of your Abba and letting that love define who you are and what you do. If you end up with everything you could possibly want, everything the world says you need, and miss out on God, you have nothing. But if you end up with God and nothing else, you will have found everything that truly matters in the end.

Just think about that for a while.

 

 

Revisiting the Old Fears

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All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends” (Ann Voskamp).

Sometimes they do come back.

I’m talking about fears. Every so often, you will run into one of those along your path, usually when you least expect it and thought you had dealt with it.

Here’s a few examples.

Someone stops responding to your texts. The fear says, “See? You’ve offended that person in some way. You’ve ruined the relationship and it will never again be the same.”

A good friend moves to another town. “The fear moved in and whispers, “She won’t tell you to your face, but the real reason she moved was to get away from you.”

The one that dogged me for years was this: “Every one will eventually abandon you. Once they’ve seen what you’re really like, they won’t want to have anything more to do with you. They’ll start by growing distant with you and then disappear altogether. Nothing you do matters. No one notices anything you say. You might as well never have been born.”

Or maybe your fear goes like this: “You’re not worth someone’s love. No one could ever be attracted to you. You are repulsive to the opposite sex. You will always be alone.”

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Fear lies. That’s its nature.

Fear doesn’t come from God. Ever. Fear comes from the father of lies and means to keep you from God, imprisoned in your anxieties and phobias

Remember, perfect love casts out fear. And you are perfectly loved, just as you are, not as you should be or could be.

Name the fear. Expose it. Demons die in the light. Rebuke that fear OUT LOUD in the name of Jesus.

You in and of yourself will never defeat fear, but the power of Christ in you has already beaten it once and for all. That power is yours now to claim.

If you’ve allowed yourself to be mastered again to that fear, repent and move forward. Shame is a close relative of fear and is just as bent on keeping you away from God. Shame is also a defeated foe.

You as a child of God fight not for victory but FROM it. Keep that in mind and have a blessed Monday!

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Another Monday, Come and Gone

I’m better about my attitude toward Mondays, but I still think Monday is a terrible day to have to start your week off on. Even if you are among the ranks of the unemployed (like me), Mondays still stink.

Monday is the day after the great weekend is ended and life goes back to boring normal. At least for 98% of us.

For me, Monday was a day for taking those thoughts captive. Thoughts like, “Your friends have forgotten about you,” or “Your friends have moved on and left you behind.” I’m usually more susceptible to those kind of thoughts on Mondays for some reason.

But today, I’m calling them for what they are– lies from the father of lies. I know my friends and I know they haven’t forgotten me or left me behind. They’re probably having the typical insane, crazy, 90-mile an hour Monday and just trying not to spin off the proverbial merry-go-round.

I’m choosing to believe the absolute best about them because I’d want them to believe the best about me and give me the benefit of the doubt. I’m choosing to pray God’s best for them the same today as every other day.

So, how was your Monday?

Sometimes

I really, really hate to admit this after all my talk of how God has healed me in the past. It feels like I’m pulling a fast one on you after I’ve announced to everyone how God has been delivering me from my fears. But here it is.

Sometimes at night when I’m tired, I get overwhelmed for a moment by fears.

I fear that this time I really have said or done the absolute stupid and wrong thing and a particular friend is gone for good. He or she has un-friended me and taped a picture of me to a dartboard for target practice.

I fear that I will always be single because no girl will ever find me attractive or desirable and I will always be left with this unfulfilled longing inside of me.

I fear that I’m really not good at anything and really won’t ever find a career that really makes me come alive to who God created me to be.

I think the difference this time is that I can name these thoughts as lies. It may not completely take away the panic and the pain, but it helps when I see these thoughts for what they are and their true origin from the father of lies.

I know now that most of the time a good night’s sleep will help these fears go away. Sometimes, it’s a glass of warm milk. Sometimes, it’s just practicing deep breathing. Sometimes, it’s saying, “Abba Father” over and over. Sometimes, it’s resting in the eternal Arms of my Abba Father and listening as He sings over me to calm my anxiety.

It’s okay for me to have setbacks and regressions, because they keep me grateful and thankful for the times when I am living out of faith and not fear. And those times are more and more prevalent.

There will always be something to fear. There will always be those moments when you give in to that fear. The question is: Can you name that fear for what it is and claim the promises of Jesus over it? Sometimes, you have to claim them out loud, but even when you don’t have a voice to speak them out, they are still powerful and true and for you.

Perfect love casts out all fear. In my case, perfect Love is casting out all fears, one at a time. I hope you find this to be true for you. Because the freedom is so much more than worth it.

Voices

I heard a provoking question tonight at Kairos. What does your voice tell you?

I’ve never thought about it this way, but usually those kinds of voices never tell me anything good or positive.

Things like “You’ll never amount to anything,” or “You really are a nobody.”

If you try to take steps to make your life better, the voice will say both “Who are you to do that?” and “If you’re gonna try, it has to be perfect or it’s no good.”

My voice that stuck with me for the longest was “If people really knew the real you, they wouldn’t want anything to do with you,” with the close second being “No girl will ever find you attractive so don’t even think about dating.”

Those voices don’t ever go away by you ignoring them. They only get louder that way.

The best way to get rid of those voices is to drown them out with another Voice. The Voice of Truth.

This Voice says, “You are my beloved. I love you just as you are right now where you are.”

The Voice says, “You are good enough and smart enough and beautiful enough because you are My masterpiece.”

The Voice says, “I am your Abba Father and I am very fond of you.”

Sometimes when you can’t hear that Voice, you need someone who will remind you. Sometimes, you will be the one to remind someone else.

I have family and friends who remind me daily of what God sees in me and what He says about me. I try to help people see themselves the way God sees them and hear what God says about them.

This is a repeat, but it it is also my mantra (or one of them): What you think and what you feel will lie to you, so you go with what you know. You go with the promises that God has spoken over you and what He has said about you being wonderfully and fearfully made.

You recognize that voice in your head for what it is and renounce it as the mouthpiece of the father of lies.

May you have ears to hear the good things your Abba Father is saying about you tonight and every day after.