family

Never the Same

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“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).

You can say the same for the heart. There are certain experiences in life that stretch your heart, like marriage, having a child, death, or a loved one moving away. Once your heart is stretched, it can never go back to what it used to be.

I can honestly say that I have known people in my life that have left imprints in my mind and in my heart. Some are no longer living. Some have moved on to different places or different phases of their lives. I may never see these people again this side of heaven, but I know that I am different and better because of them.

You never know sometimes when it’s the last time you’ll ever see someone. You think there will be more time, more experiences like this one. Sometimes, you get closure and a chance to process the grief of a goodbye, even if it’s not the grieving of death. Other times, you don’t.

One option is to be bitter and to focus on what was that will never be again. Or you could be thankful for what was because it made you who you are now. God never promised that every single person in your life would be there indefinitely. Some are only meant for a season. Some are to teach you a lesson. Some are like angels used by God to minister to you in a particularly difficult passage.

The best way to pay it forward is to be that kind of person to someone else. Just as someone was once God with skin on to you, so you can do your best to be that to someone else. You can’t be Jesus, but you can be the physical manifestation of God ministering to that person as His hands and feet, His voice.

Some of you might be reading these words right now. To you I say, “Thank you. I am more like Jesus because of you.”

Longing for Simpler Times

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I’ve been in a nostalgic mood a lot lately, thinking about people who have passed and remembering places like my grandmother’s house on Dee Road in Memphis. Sometimes I have a longing to go back to those people and moments that is so strong that it feels overwhelming.

Maybe it’s because I’m really wanting to go back to when times were simpler. At least they were for me. I didn’t have so many cares or concerns. I knew my parents loved me and would take care of me. I knew my family loved me and watched out for me.

I see now that the times weren’t necessarily simpler, but my life was simpler. Because my parents did their job, I didn’t have to grow up carrying the proverbial weight of the world, dealing with issues beyond my years. I could be a kid, safe and secure from all alarms.

I do think the world seemed less chaotic than it does now. Maybe that was because of the absence of 24-hour news channels constantly telling me how bad the world is. Maybe it’s because I was blissfully unaware of so much of the evil around me. Maybe it’s just that the world is trending down as we get closer to Jesus’ return.

I do know that the Jesus I asked into my heart when I was little is the same one who is with me now. His promises are the same. His presence with me is the same, though I am probably more aware of it — and my need of it. I am just as loved and cared for and cherished and secure as I was back then because it was really Jesus all along who was my protector and provider.

So maybe those places and people I miss were glimpses of something greater that I will only ever fully realize in heaven. Those were like the appetizer before a really great feast. My best days aren’t behind me — they’re ahead and coming soon.

A New(er) Car

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One of my favorite parts of being sick and staying home from school (not that there were many) was getting to watch Bob Barker and The Price is Right. I’m telling my age when I say Bob Barker and not Drew Carey.

The absolute best part of any episode was when they were revealing the prize the contestants would be bidding on and the announcer proclaimed, “It’s a NEW CAR!” Then everyone in the crowd went absolutely bananas.

I finally broke down and bought a new car. Well, technically a newer car since it’s a 2018, not a 2024. But fear not, loyal fans, it’s still a Jeep.

I drove home in a 2018 Jeep Wrangler. I instantly felt 33% cooler. Then later on I accidentally turned on my emergency flashers and had to consult the manual for how to turn them off and lost all my cool points. But I love it.

In a way, it’s like learning to drive all over again. So many functions are in different places that I have to think about how to roll down the windows or turn up the airflow through the car. I have to remember to use the running board because the new car is higher off the ground than the old one. But I’m thankful.

I have a car with a working speedometer where all the windows roll down every time. I have a car where I can push a button and it starts (as long as I have the key on my person or in the car). It’s blowing my late 1900s brain.

Now comes the part where I sell the trusty old Jeep. There will be some sadness (and possibly tears) when I say goodbye to the loyal Red Sled that has served me well for 11 years and been a faithful every day vehicle for 27 years. No car will ever be as good to me as that one has been.

But I’m thankful that I will have photographs and memories to look back on. I can remember all the people who rode in that car who are no longer present in this world but more alive than ever on those streets of gold in heaven.

But now I have to go study up on the manual to figure out how to work this new Jeep.

Never Getting Beyond My Need

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I was channel surfing earlier, and ran across a program called Better Together, where some speakers and authors were discussing modern idolatry and how we are all prone to it.

Basically, most of us think of idols as tiny statues made of gold or silver or wood. Most of us picture idolaters as people bowing toward some stone image that can’t possibly reciprocate.

The reality is that idolatry is taking something good, i.e. marriage, family, children, careers, success, and putting it in the place of God. It’s letting something other than God take the throne of our hearts.

The painful truth is that we are all idolaters. We have something else other than God that we put in front of God or place beside God. We never get past needing to repent our idols because our flesh craves something tangible to worship. Our flesh isn’t satisfied with God.

We will never get past our need of God because the more we grow, the more we see how far we are from the mark of God’s standard. The more we see our own faults in the light of God’s perfection and holiness. The more we understand that our good intentions rarely lead to good works.

But God is faithful even when we are not. God is faithful to His promises when we don’t keep ours to Him. God is faithful to pursue us when we so often pursue so many lesser objects instead of God. God is faithful to finish what He started in us and make us like Jesus.

Advent, Memories, and a Christmas Story

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I checked one off my list for required holiday movie viewing. I watched a Christmas Story tonight with all its round-faced kid glory. When I came to the part [spoiler alert ahead] where he finally got his long-sought Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas, I knew exactly the joy he felt.

I remember getting that present I had wanted all year. For me, it was a Commodore 64. For those who aren’t old, that’s a personal computer that had as much memory in it as a calculator. You could probably take the combined memory of every Commodore computer ever manufactured and it still wouldn’t add up to the memory in one iPhone. But it was a dream present.

I remember the joy of opening up gifts of Christmas morning to find something I had wanted and waited for the whole year. But sooner or later, the magic faded. The joy that was so strong at first waned. A lot of those presents eventually got sold at garage sales or got donated to Goodwill.

That’s the kind of joy that comes when we make Christmas a one day event where the focus is on opening presents and consuming lots of food. Soon, the giddiness is replaced by a kind of letdown and a sadness of having to wait 364 days until the next Christmas.

But when we focus on the child in the manger born on Christmas Day, the joy carries over. This child became the Savior of the world who doesn’t just live in our hearts one day of the year but all the days of the year.

This kind of joy lasts beyond December 25, even past the 12 days of Christmas. This joy is based on a hope that does not disappoint or decay or die. This hope is the now and the not yet of the kingdom of God. Now we see partly and catch glimpses of God breaking into the world, but one day we will see and know fully and see God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.

We can celebrate the gifts and the food but keep our eyes fixed on the true reason for Christmas, Jesus.

The Struggle Bus Rewards Program

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I think the struggle bus should have a rewards program. Something like frequent flyer miles for airlines, but maybe call it frequent struggle bus rider miles (or something way better that I could think of if I weren’t actually on the struggle bus).

I went to a concert that kept me up late on a school night, i.e. the night before I had to be at work. I knew that I might be a bit sleepy the next day, but as it turns out, the older you get, the longer that struggle bus ride lasts.

Was it worth it? Absolutely. Do I enjoy the scenic struggle bus ride? Absolutely not. There’s not enough coffee in the world to get me off that stupid bus. Only a couple of good night’s sleeps (and possibly another vacation) can cure me.

I don’t even know what the rewards would be. Possibly a Starbucks gift card? Or maybe a massage? I’d like to think that a 24-hour nap wouldn’t be such a bad reward.

Kudos to all the Dads Out There

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Fathers get a bad rap. Sure, they get one day out of the year where we celebrate them in the aptly named Father’s Day. We buy them greeting cards and lots of neck ties.

The rest of the time, we seem to get the impression (from a lot of the media and culture out there) that they really aren’t all that necessary.

Nothing could be more wrong.

Of course, there are  lots of well-adjusted, normal, and productive people who were raised by single mothers out there. I give a shout-out to all those women out there who are pulling double duty as both mother and father. You deserve every bit of praise that comes your way.

I still believe that the best environment for a child is one where the father is present. There are certain things that are taught best by fathers. A boy can best learn how to be a gentleman from his father. A son best learns how to treat women by watching how the father treats the mother.

I admit that there are lots of bad examples of fathers who are abusive and domineering. I confess that a lot of people are uncomfortable with the idea of God as Father because of their upbringing and all the pain and suffering caused by their own earthly fathers.

Still, I think there’s nothing quite as beautiful as a father speaking affirmation over his children, drawing out the strength in his sons and the beauty in his daughters. Their words have incredible power to build up and create as much as to tear down and destroy.

The best way to be a father is to put your children third. I know it sounds scandalous, but here’s how it should look. The order should be God first, wife second, children third.

Thanks to all the fathers out there who are loving their families sacrificially on a daily basis. None of them are perfect and none of them will ever get it 100% right but they are the ones who keep showing up and never giving up on themselves or their wives or their children. They know they can’t do it without a lot of help so they start out every day on their knees before God in a posture of submission and surrender for the strength to be the best fathers possible.

Kudos to you.

 

Rare and Priceless

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I admit it. I geeked out quite a bit when I read about the recent rare baseball card find.

In case you missed it, a family going through their great-grandfather’s belongings in his run-down house found a wadded-up brown paper bag that looked like trash.

Inside, among other things, they found seven identical Ty Cobb baseball cards, dating from 1909-1911.

Why is this a big deal? Before this find, there were believed to be 15 of these cards in existence. That’s it.

Because of the extreme rarity of these cards, their worth is probably estimated to be anywhere to the high 7-figures to north of $1 million.

If only I could be so lucky.

But think of this. As rare as those baseball cards are, you are rarer still. So am I.

Don’t you realize that there is (and will always be) just one of you. There has never been– and will never be again– another you.

You are a one-of-a-kind work of God, not mass-produced or rolled out on an assembly line but crafted in love, soul-signed, and unique.

You are not only priceless, but twice priceless. God not only made you but also took on human flesh in Jesus and died for you. He paid the ultimate price that forever defines your worth.

Perhaps you’re feeling beat down by another week of work or by family and friends who don’t recognize your true worth. Maybe your soul feels battered by bad choices and unfortunate circumstances.

That doesn’t change your worth. That doesn’t change how God sees you. You are priceless and beloved for as long as God remains faithful and true. And that’s forever.

In case you want to read more about the baseball cards, here’s a link to an article with more information. If it were me, I’d sell six and keep one. But that’s just me. You decide for yourself.

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/03/03/469035302/a-collectors-dream-7-rare-ty-cobb-baseball-cards-discovered

Thanks, Uncle Mike: The Sequel

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I heard out of your own mouth tonight that you are stepping down from Kairos soon. I’d heard it from other people recently, but even so, I couldn’t quite believe it even when you were the one saying the words.

I thought I’d say a few words to you, since I most likely won’t get to say them to you in person.

Thank you for being faithfully devoted to the Kairos ministry and to all of us who have attended over the years. We see how biblically wise you are. We also see how honest and vulnerable you are at times, making us feel like it’s okay to struggle and have doubts, even if you’re a senior pastor of a megachurch with several campuses.

I for one am a better person because of you and Kairos. I like myself a lot better than when I first started attending Kairos way back in 2006. I understand more of my Abba Father’s love for me and am learning how to define myself by that love and the voice that calls me His Beloved.

I learned how to take a few minutes in the middle of my hectic day and be still and have a moment or two of prayer. I learned that confession is not beating yourself up, but admitting that I acted out of fear instead of faith, of owning my sin and calling it for what it really is. I learned that I-40 West will take me to Memphis every time (even if I’m only going to Jackson). I learned that Oreos are your kryptonite and that a mostly clean glass of milk is still dirty.

I and many others saw how much you loved your parents, your wife, and your sons. That more than anything has probably helped strengthen many of our marriages and families.

I can’t imagine Kairos without you. I keep saying how much I like change and I’m always ready for it, but when it actually happens, I find I’m not so fond of it. Sometimes, I wish I some things could stay the same.

But I think I’m ready for what God has next for Kairos. I’m excited for you and what God has in store for you next. Plus, I’ll always think of you whenever I pick up a Henri Nouwen book.

Anyway, thanks for allowing God to use you in helping me become more like Jesus. I and the rest of those you’ve touched through Kairos will never be able to repay how much you’ve blessed us all.

 

Winning the Lottery

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So, the lottery is up to something like $1.4 billion. I also read that if every single person in the U.S. had a winning ticket, every person would win $4.3 million. I believe whoever calculated that was off a few decimal places. The actual total would be $4.30 per person, enough for a value meal at Taco Bell.

I have ideas with what I’d do if I won the lottery. I’d buy one of those old houses on Fair Street in Franklin. I’d finally get my red Mini-Cooper. I’d travel a lot and go to all those places I’ve always wanted to go.

I’d be very generous. I’d give to charities and pay off people’s debts and buy really nice stuff for my friends and family. Or would I?

I believe wholeheartedly that people that aren’t generous with $1 won’t be with $1 million. If you’re not a charitable person now, the chances are that sudden wealth won’t change that.

Maybe the answer is to start looking for ways to be generous now. It doesn’t necessarily have to involve spending lots of money on others. It could mean spending time with people. It could also mean donating your talents.

The best way of all to learn generosity is to remember how generous God has been to you all this time. He saved you, didn’t He? He rescued you from your own mess and gave you everything you needed in Jesus, right?

That kind of generosity should inspire us to a kind of generosity that is most needed yet most rarely given– a generosity of loving people not because they deserve it or earn it but because God loves the unloveable and calls us to do the same.

In fact, when we tangibly love those who can never return that love, we are most like the God who loved us when we were at our worst.

But I’d still like the opportunity to prove that all those millions wouldn’t change who I am fundamentally as a person. I’m just saying.

PS If you’re a millionaire and you don’t have a bookshelf that spins into a secret room you’re spending it wrong. Give me your money.