family

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known” (Garrison Keillor).

I’m generally not the best judge of what I really want. How do I know? Because of all the times I got what I thought I wanted and thought would satisfy me and almost instantly was out looking again for what I really wanted.

I’m thankful (as I know you probably are) that I didn’t get most of what I asked God for. First and foremost, because God’s not a cosmic vending machine bound to give me whatever I asked for. Also, I’ve changed and my wants have changed and– hopefully– matured since then.

There’s the old saying that what looks good to you isn’t usually what’s good for you. You have to be disciplined and mature enough to know the difference. And I have not been very good at either of those. Improving, yes. Very good, no.

I think if I ever focused on what I have, I’d be a lot better off. My checking account would be, too.

What do I have?

All that really matters.

I have family, friends, air to breathe, health, freedom, a good mind, and today. Most of all, I have a God who knows what I need better than I do. He knows what I’m seeking after when I can’t even put a name to it.

As the old Rolling Stones song says, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.” There’s some good theology in those lyrics.

There’s not a neat and tidy theological wrap-up to all this. I just realize that if I’m not getting what I want, sometimes it’s because I need better “wants.” By the way, that sentence made perfect sense in my head.

May you always find that even though God doesn’t always give you what you want, he does always give you what you need.

In Everything Give Thanks

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Four little words say it all. In everything give thanks.

Notice it doesn’t say to give thanks FOR everything, but IN everything.

When you’re not sure if you will ever find another job, give thanks.

When you see loved ones getting older and weaker and more frail, give thanks.

When you wonder if the dreams God put in your heart will ever come to fruition and you’re hanging on by the most slender of threads, give thanks.

When you want to stomp and rage and cuss like a sailor at the way that person treated you, give thanks.

Give thanks that God is the same through it all. Give thanks that he has not forgotten you. Give thanks that he’s working through your pain and problems. Give thanks that God has been, is, and will always be God.

Give thanks that God works all things together for good. Give thanks that he will complete the good work he started in you. Give thanks that everything will be fine in the end, and if everything’s not fine, it’s not the end (borrowed from a really good movie).

In other words, in everything give thanks.

 

A Tribute to My Old Cell Phone

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

samsung

Dear cell phone,

I’ve had you for a year or two and you’ve treated me well. For the most part. There have been the occasional dropped calls, but mostly you’ve done right by me. You were only meant to fill in the gap until I could end my present cell phone contract and get a new one, but you served your purpose.

You’ve taken many, many pictures and videos of my cat (way more than any cell phone of a normal person should) and you’ve transmitted many texts to family and friends, including some emergency prayer requests.

You still worked after I dropped you on the pavement when I got hit by that car in downtown Franklin. I lost your back, but you still power up for me faithfully every time.

I guess you know you’re being replaced. I hate to do it, but I’ve found someone else. Actually, I’m switching to Verizon and getting an iPhone 5 somewhere around March or April.

Don’t think it hasn’t been fun, because it has. I just need more than you can give. I hope you understand.

PS I’ll keep you in a desk drawer if that makes you feel any better. Maybe one day I’ll find a back for you again so you won’t be embarrased about your battery showing. Thanks for all the good memories.

Reminders That Life Really Is Good

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 5 Comments

I woke up today to snow on the ground. To those living above the Mason-Dixon line, that may not be a big deal, but it is for this guy living way down in Tennessee. It may not have lasted, but it was pretty.

I may not have everything I want in life, but I do have everything I need. I am still so very blessed.

One of my friends is getting re-baptized at her church. I plan on being there to celebrate and rejoice in this brave step of obedience on her part. I love seeing how God has been working in the lives of family and friends lately. It’s a good reminder for me that those prayers of mine really are getting past the ceiling. James writes that the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective. I do know that they work.

I’ve learned over time that real maturity is seeing God bless someone else and being happy. Even if that person gets something you’ve wanted but not received, you can still choose to be happy for him or her. I’ve been envious and bitter in the past about such people, but I’m learning to rejoice for them. I think there’s hope for me yet.

I keep thinking that one day this little blog of mine will explode and start raking in thousands of readers. Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m thankful for those who take the time to read my ramblings when there are so many other things competing for their time and attention.

God is good, all the time. Not just when I feel that he is good. Not when I feel he’s doing right by me. All the time. That’s 24/7.

Just so you know, if you ask me to pray for you about something, I do. If you ask me to pray for a loved one, I will. Keep reminding me that life is good and that God is good, because I forget early and often. I’ll try to do the same for you. Deal?

 

Haunted

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

EPSON DSC picture

I spent some time yesterday at some land that’s been in the family for a while. We affectionately call it The Farm, although it hasn’t really been used for farming in a very long time.

Still, for me it brings back so many memories. I remember coming there every summer as a child and playing with my sister and cousin. That was back when I was sure I’d find a secret cave or a buried Confederate treasure. I never did, but the memories I have of those days are much more valuable than any old coins I could have found.

More than anything, I’m haunted by the memory of people who I miss. I still expect to see them there, like they’re as much a part of the place as the old buildings and trees.

I expect to see my uncle ambling down the road, wondering what funny story he had for me.  Or my other uncle coming down the gravel driveway in his Ford Bronco. Or maybe my grandmother sitting on the porch, smiling and singing an old hymn. I’d give anything to be able to go outside in the middle of the night with my cousin and do nothing but look up at the sky lit up with stars.

I especially miss when the whole family would get together once a year for a family reunion and the food would taste better and the conversations would be sweeter on that day than any other.

Every blade of grass holds a memory and every leaf is a reminder of days passed. I can pass through those gates and feel exactly like I did when I was 10 years old and still obsessed with old coins and baseball cards.

I think C.S. Lewis was the one who said that a pleasure is not fully consummated until it is remembered. It’s too bad I couldn’t fully appreciate those days and the people for what they were– a gift. But I have memories now that make me smile. And that’s enough.

 

 

Spontaneous, Joyful Uncertainty and Expectancy

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in—but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from life, is that almost nothing ever turns out according to my expectations. No conversation ever goes like I planned it in my head, no holiday plays out quite like I planned, and no day ever seems to be what I thought it would be.

I think my only expectations from 2013 are of God. Specifically, I expect him to show up in 2013. How? I have no idea. I only know that when I need him most, he’ll be there.

I’ve had unexpected relationships that I never saw coming. I’ve had friendships with people I never thought would even talk to me. I’ve also had friends move on and seemingly drop off the planet (or at least off my radar). For those of you who have moved on to the next phase of life, the friendship is still on and always will be. Count on it.

That doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing. I think this year I have to prepared and ready for whatever God brings. As one of my favorite lines from a movie goes, I have to have my fields ready to receive the rain when it comes.

I know that whenever God has shown up in my life, it has never been exactly in the way that I expected, but it has always been better. It has never been when I expected, but it has always been at the perfect moment when I needed him most. God’s gifts to me haven’t been what I asked for; many times, they’ve what I needed and longed for but didn’t know it.

I know that whatever I go through in 2013, God is good. I know whatever the day turns out to be, God is faithful. And I expect that to be the same in 2014 and beyond.

A Bittersweet Christmas

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

bud

It’s been a bittersweet 2012 Christmas.

I’ve loved being with family and seeing my 14-month old niece getting the hang of walking and just starting to say her first words. Seeing my nephews’ faces light up with all their Christmas presents has been fun, too.

But today I’ve also been thinking a lot about my granddaddy who took his life 30 years ago tonight. It was Christmas Day 1982 when he decided that life wasn’t worth living anymore.

I still remember where I was when I found out about his suicide. I remember my pastor at the time coming over to tell me and how my 10-year old brain couldn’t process the news, so I went back to my room to watch the football game on my little black-and-white TV. I still don’t think I’ve completely processed it yet.

I have trouble remembering what he looked like, especially when he smiled, or what his laugh sounded like. I do know that I still miss him and I have so many things I’d like to tell him.

I’d tell him that he missed out on a lot. Like my sister and I growing up. Her getting married and having children. All of us getting older and closer together as a family. And most of all, how we’ve found God to be a comfort and a refuge.

I’d tell him that we all loved him so much. That we still love him so much, even 30 years after he left us. I’d tell him that there’s nothing so bad that family can’t help, and especially God’s love can’t get you through.

I’d say that I understand now a little better why he did what he did. I’m glad that he’s found peace at last in the arms of Jesus and has no more fears or worries or self-doubts.

I have something that belonged to him– an old tube radio from the 50’s that still works. It’s nice to be able to turn it on and think that I’m listening to the same radio that he kept on his workbench all those years. It makes me smile and remember him in happier times.

I’m a little more thankful for my family tonight. I hope to hug them more often, be more present in their lives, and tell them I love them as often as possible. You never know when it could be the last time you might have the chance.

It’s Christmas (Eve) Again

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

In years past, I couldn’t help but feel the inevitable letdown that came once Christmas had come and gone. It was as if I spent all that time and energy waiting for one day that went by awfully fast.

But I’ve learned to appreciate Christmas more in and of itself, aside from all the gifts and trappings.

For me, the more I celebrate the advent season, the less Christmas becomes about one single day and the more it becomes about the entrance into our world of the infant Immanuel, God with us.

If you follow the 12 days of Christmas, then you know that Christmas doesn’t really end until January 6. So this year, I’m milking the holiday for all it’s worth.

Yeah, I like presents. I like giving them, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I liked getting them, too. But more than presents, I like being around family and the intentional togetherness fostered by the celebration of the Christ child who came to bring us peace.

I love what I heard in a sermon tonight. Jesus came to take away our fear and give us joy.

That’s what Christmas is really about, Charlie Brown.

 

Thanksgiving Once More

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Thanksgiving feels a lot like the red-headed stepchild of holidays lately, don’t you think? It seems that in the retail world, most jump from Halloween directly into tinsel and mistletoe and everything Christmas. You don’t really see much in the way of Thanksgiving decorations and there’s one lone television special dedicated to this holiday (at least that I’m aware of). And there aren’t too many artists jumping on the Thanksgiving album bandwagon lately.

But Thanksgiving has never really been about crazy shopping or spending lots of money. I’ve always thought of it as a quiet sort of holiday without the need of commercialism or promotion. To me it’s been about good food and good times with family around the table. It’s been about setting aside one day in the year to reflect back on the blessings and plenty that we’ve received and to be grateful and thankful for it.

I know when I honestly assess my own life, I have much to be thankful for. Sure, I don’t have everything I want. But I have everything I need and then some.

I heard once that if all God did for me was save me and that was all, I’d still owe him an eternity of praise. Even if he never gave me one more blessing or gift beyond that, I’d run out of time before I gave him the thanks he was due.

But God has done so much more than that. He woke me up again this morning. He let me enjoy the day with good health and the freedom to express my faith as I see fit and to live my life as I choose. He has even allowed me to make the dumb choices and reminded me that those mistakes aren’t the end of the world and those failures aren’t what really define me at the end of the day. His love for me does.

So I’m thankful. I may be like a broken record when I say that I’m thankful for all of you who read this little blog, but I say it anyway. I hope each of you have plenty to be thankful for. I pray God reminds you of all the blessings, great and small, that you have received.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Reminders for the Road

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Clothe yourselves therefore, as God’s own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]. And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].” (Colossians 3:12-15)

Tomorrow, you’re preparing to set out for home for Thanksgiving. Maybe you’re driving across the country or maybe it’s just across town. Maybe it’s a trip back in time, because you know the minute you walk through that door, you’re 10-years old again, not sure what to say or how to act.

Here’s a hint. Along with that extra serving of turkey and dressing, try a side of grace. Remember that you are just as broken spiritually as the other person. Remember you needed the forgiveness of Christ just as much as he or she did.

Take the initiative in granting forgiveness. You’re releasing the other person from the expectation that he or she can fix what he or she did wrong. You not only free that person, you free yourself. You never know when it’s you who will be needing forgiveness.

Remember that the only person you have to please at the end of the day is God. His opinion is the only one that really matters. Because he’s the only one who really knows you inside and out.

This feels like a repeat from something I wrote a couple of days ago, but sometimes we need to be reminded more than once. I know I do.

Above all, enjoy the time for what it is, not for what you wish it could be. Accept that your family is just as weird as you are and you will get along a lot better.

Most of all, learn in all things to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving. Find at least one thing about every person at the dinner table to be thankful for, even in yourself.

Happy Turkey Day!