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Spontaneous, Joyful Uncertainty and Expectancy

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“If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in—but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from life, is that almost nothing ever turns out according to my expectations. No conversation ever goes like I planned it in my head, no holiday plays out quite like I planned, and no day ever seems to be what I thought it would be.

I think my only expectations from 2013 are of God. Specifically, I expect him to show up in 2013. How? I have no idea. I only know that when I need him most, he’ll be there.

I’ve had unexpected relationships that I never saw coming. I’ve had friendships with people I never thought would even talk to me. I’ve also had friends move on and seemingly drop off the planet (or at least off my radar). For those of you who have moved on to the next phase of life, the friendship is still on and always will be. Count on it.

That doesn’t mean I sit back and do nothing. I think this year I have to prepared and ready for whatever God brings. As one of my favorite lines from a movie goes, I have to have my fields ready to receive the rain when it comes.

I know that whenever God has shown up in my life, it has never been exactly in the way that I expected, but it has always been better. It has never been when I expected, but it has always been at the perfect moment when I needed him most. God’s gifts to me haven’t been what I asked for; many times, they’ve what I needed and longed for but didn’t know it.

I know that whatever I go through in 2013, God is good. I know whatever the day turns out to be, God is faithful. And I expect that to be the same in 2014 and beyond.

A Bittersweet Christmas

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It’s been a bittersweet 2012 Christmas.

I’ve loved being with family and seeing my 14-month old niece getting the hang of walking and just starting to say her first words. Seeing my nephews’ faces light up with all their Christmas presents has been fun, too.

But today I’ve also been thinking a lot about my granddaddy who took his life 30 years ago tonight. It was Christmas Day 1982 when he decided that life wasn’t worth living anymore.

I still remember where I was when I found out about his suicide. I remember my pastor at the time coming over to tell me and how my 10-year old brain couldn’t process the news, so I went back to my room to watch the football game on my little black-and-white TV. I still don’t think I’ve completely processed it yet.

I have trouble remembering what he looked like, especially when he smiled, or what his laugh sounded like. I do know that I still miss him and I have so many things I’d like to tell him.

I’d tell him that he missed out on a lot. Like my sister and I growing up. Her getting married and having children. All of us getting older and closer together as a family. And most of all, how we’ve found God to be a comfort and a refuge.

I’d tell him that we all loved him so much. That we still love him so much, even 30 years after he left us. I’d tell him that there’s nothing so bad that family can’t help, and especially God’s love can’t get you through.

I’d say that I understand now a little better why he did what he did. I’m glad that he’s found peace at last in the arms of Jesus and has no more fears or worries or self-doubts.

I have something that belonged to him– an old tube radio from the 50’s that still works. It’s nice to be able to turn it on and think that I’m listening to the same radio that he kept on his workbench all those years. It makes me smile and remember him in happier times.

I’m a little more thankful for my family tonight. I hope to hug them more often, be more present in their lives, and tell them I love them as often as possible. You never know when it could be the last time you might have the chance.

It’s Christmas (Eve) Again

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In years past, I couldn’t help but feel the inevitable letdown that came once Christmas had come and gone. It was as if I spent all that time and energy waiting for one day that went by awfully fast.

But I’ve learned to appreciate Christmas more in and of itself, aside from all the gifts and trappings.

For me, the more I celebrate the advent season, the less Christmas becomes about one single day and the more it becomes about the entrance into our world of the infant Immanuel, God with us.

If you follow the 12 days of Christmas, then you know that Christmas doesn’t really end until January 6. So this year, I’m milking the holiday for all it’s worth.

Yeah, I like presents. I like giving them, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I liked getting them, too. But more than presents, I like being around family and the intentional togetherness fostered by the celebration of the Christ child who came to bring us peace.

I love what I heard in a sermon tonight. Jesus came to take away our fear and give us joy.

That’s what Christmas is really about, Charlie Brown.

 

Thanksgiving Once More

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Thanksgiving feels a lot like the red-headed stepchild of holidays lately, don’t you think? It seems that in the retail world, most jump from Halloween directly into tinsel and mistletoe and everything Christmas. You don’t really see much in the way of Thanksgiving decorations and there’s one lone television special dedicated to this holiday (at least that I’m aware of). And there aren’t too many artists jumping on the Thanksgiving album bandwagon lately.

But Thanksgiving has never really been about crazy shopping or spending lots of money. I’ve always thought of it as a quiet sort of holiday without the need of commercialism or promotion. To me it’s been about good food and good times with family around the table. It’s been about setting aside one day in the year to reflect back on the blessings and plenty that we’ve received and to be grateful and thankful for it.

I know when I honestly assess my own life, I have much to be thankful for. Sure, I don’t have everything I want. But I have everything I need and then some.

I heard once that if all God did for me was save me and that was all, I’d still owe him an eternity of praise. Even if he never gave me one more blessing or gift beyond that, I’d run out of time before I gave him the thanks he was due.

But God has done so much more than that. He woke me up again this morning. He let me enjoy the day with good health and the freedom to express my faith as I see fit and to live my life as I choose. He has even allowed me to make the dumb choices and reminded me that those mistakes aren’t the end of the world and those failures aren’t what really define me at the end of the day. His love for me does.

So I’m thankful. I may be like a broken record when I say that I’m thankful for all of you who read this little blog, but I say it anyway. I hope each of you have plenty to be thankful for. I pray God reminds you of all the blessings, great and small, that you have received.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Reminders for the Road

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“Clothe yourselves therefore, as God’s own chosen ones (His own picked representatives), [who are] purified and holy and well-beloved [by God Himself, by putting on behavior marked by] tenderhearted pity and mercy, kind feeling, a lowly opinion of yourselves, gentle ways, [and] patience [which is tireless and long-suffering, and has the power to endure whatever comes, with good temper]. Be gentle and forbearing with one another and, if one has a difference (a grievance or complaint) against another, readily pardoning each other; even as the Lord has [freely] forgiven you, so must you also [forgive]. And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony]. And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ’s] one body you were also called [to live]. And be thankful (appreciative), [giving praise to God always].” (Colossians 3:12-15)

Tomorrow, you’re preparing to set out for home for Thanksgiving. Maybe you’re driving across the country or maybe it’s just across town. Maybe it’s a trip back in time, because you know the minute you walk through that door, you’re 10-years old again, not sure what to say or how to act.

Here’s a hint. Along with that extra serving of turkey and dressing, try a side of grace. Remember that you are just as broken spiritually as the other person. Remember you needed the forgiveness of Christ just as much as he or she did.

Take the initiative in granting forgiveness. You’re releasing the other person from the expectation that he or she can fix what he or she did wrong. You not only free that person, you free yourself. You never know when it’s you who will be needing forgiveness.

Remember that the only person you have to please at the end of the day is God. His opinion is the only one that really matters. Because he’s the only one who really knows you inside and out.

This feels like a repeat from something I wrote a couple of days ago, but sometimes we need to be reminded more than once. I know I do.

Above all, enjoy the time for what it is, not for what you wish it could be. Accept that your family is just as weird as you are and you will get along a lot better.

Most of all, learn in all things to cultivate a spirit of gratitude and thanksgiving. Find at least one thing about every person at the dinner table to be thankful for, even in yourself.

Happy Turkey Day!

A Letter to My Niece Lizzie

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You’re too young to read this right now, but one day maybe you will.

Today is your 1st birthday. It only seems like a few days ago that I was meeting you for the first time in the hospital room with your mother and father wearing smiles that stretched from ear to ear. I got to hold you for a little while and I think you grabbed my heart in your tiny hands and it’s been there ever since.

Today I and the rest of your family watched you eat your first birthday cake, getting more frosting all over your face and in your hair and on the floor than in your mouth. You had the biggest grin on your face. You were loving every minute of it.

You’ve already grown up so very fast, learning to crawl and stand up and say a few words. It won’t be long before you’ll be walking, then running, then asking for the keys to the car.

I hope you know already how much your mother and father and brothers love you. How much your grandparents love you. And how much your crazy goofy uncle loves you, too.

You’ll be the most photographed child in history. Well, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but you will have lots more photos taken of you. You’ll have videos taken of your first steps, your first day of school, your first soccer game, and so on. There will be birthday parties and slumber parties and field trips and vacations and so many things to look forward to.

If anything, I hope you come to know as soon as possible how much not only your family loves you, but how much God loves you. I know your parents are already showing you by word and by example.

I hope you know that you are a princess, because your Father is a King. I hope you will listen to what he says about you and don’t listen to anybody else who tries to tell you otherwise.

I hope you grow up into a beautiful young woman and find a godly young man who loves you more than his own life. I hope you get married and have children of your own that you can laugh with and tell stories to. I hope that you can pass the legacy of faith down to them just as it was passed to you.

I can’t wait to see you become all that God created you to be.

The Book of Revelation (Not Revelations)

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Tonight was the second night of the Wednesday series that Mike Glenn is leading on the Book of Revelation (not Revelations, as I mistakenly called it in a facebook post).

I love the part in Revelation 1 where John turns around to see the voice that speaks to him. Not just any voice. The voice. In John’s mind, Jesus’ voice is the only one that matters.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t listen to your family and friends. I’m saying that ultimately what Jesus says to you and about you trumps what anybody else has said to you.

You may have been called names or put down by others. You may have even called yourself names out of frustration or anger. But the only name that matters is the name Jesus gives you (check Revelation 2). What He calls you is who you really are.

The Book of Revelation isn’t about the mark of the beast and what it will look like or what form it will take. It’s not about who the anti-christ is or how big and scary the dragon will be.

This book is about Jesus. Not about how Jesus will one day ascend the throne and reign as King, but how He’s already on that throne right now. From start to finish, John portrays Jesus as big enough to get you through whatever you’re facing. He’s strong enough to save you. He’s tender enough to pick up the broken pieces of your heart and put them back together into a new regenerated heart.

I read somewhere in a email that the Bible was written by people under persecution to people under persecution and only people who have suffered can really grasp the true meaning. I think that’s true. I think you only really know how strong and mighty Jesus is to save after He has reached down to you in your lowest point and lifted you out of your mess. Only those who have scars can truly worship with hearts overflowing with gratitude.

My prayer for me as I read and study this book is that I will get a much bigger revelation of Jesus than I ever have before. That I will see Him as both merciful and holy, loving and just, closer than my own breath yet high and lifted up and seated on the throne.

That’s my prayer for you, too.

 

A Place to Belong

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“That’s plain enough, isn’t it? You’re no longer wandering exiles. This kingdom of faith is now your home country. You’re no longer strangers or outsiders. You belong here, with as much right to the name Christian as anyone. God is building a home. He’s using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. We see it taking shape day after day—a holy temple built by God, all of us built into it, a temple in which God is quite at home” (Ephesians 2:19-22).

That’s what everybody is looking for, isn’t it? A place to belong? A place where we feel welcomed? I think so. We all want to be a part of something that is bigger than our individual selves.

No one likes to feel left out or unwanted. No one wants to feel ostracized and rejected.

That’s the beautiful part of the Gospel. God wants you to be a part of what He’s doing in the world. He wants you. Once you say YES to Him, you’re no longer a stranger or an alien or an outcast. You belong. You matter. You are now a child of the King.

That’s what the Church really is. A community of nobodies that God chose and gave a new name and purpose to. Strangers who now belong to God and to each other.

Maybe you know what it’s like to be picked last for a kickball team (or not picked at all). Maybe you know what it feels to be the only one not invited to a party. Maybe you know what it’s like when it seems like everyone is talking to everyone else in a group but you.

You have a purpose. You have a God that picked you because He wanted you and placed you in a family whose bond is stronger than flesh and blood.

You belong.

 

 

Just a Friendly Reminder or Two (or Three)

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I was thinking on the way home from a good night out. It was one of those perfect nights that come in the twilight of summer and a good breeze was blowing. I had 10,000 Maniacs spinning in my CD player. It was a good moment. Based on that, I have some friendly reminders for those out there who may or may not need them.

1) Don’t ever take your family or friends for granted. I can’t emphasize that enough. I heard once that when you take something or someone for granted, what you’re granted gets taken. I am learning to not assume that the people in my life will always be there, but to make the most of the time I am given with each and every person in my life.

2) Don’t assume that others know how you feel about them. Tell them. Tell them every chance you can, even if it seems like overkill. It’s better that you know too much that I care for you than you never know it at all. Who knows? They might need the reminder at the particular moment you say those words.

3) Don’t be afraid to break out of the mold and try new things. Try new foods. Hang out with different people. Break away from the oh-so-popular crowds and spend time with those who are on the outskirts of the crowd or sitting alone. I truly believe that’s where you find Jesus.

4) God never gets tired of your gratitude, so thank Him for every thing. Even if it’s for waking up this morning or for drawing the next breath.    You can never be too grateful or thankful. A thankful spirit opens your eyes to see God in a new and fresh way and enables you to see His blessings where you never saw them before.

That’s all for now. I would be amiss if I didn’t tell you once again that I am supremely grateful for every single person reading this little blog. I’m thankful for my family and for every single friend who has stuck with me all this time. You matter to me and you matter to God.

Thank you.

The Broken-Hearted God

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“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation” (Luke 19:41-44).

Have you ever really thought about what breaks God’s heart? Has it entered into your mind that God’s heart can be broken? It can. Throughout Scripture, we see how God is broken over His wayward people who refuse to come back to Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, particularly in the Prophets, we see how God refers to His people as His bride who He found abandoned and forsaken and set His compassion and love on, only to see Her turn away from Him after other lovers in the form of other gods and man-made religious systems.

Jesus wept over a people who saw what He could do and how He fulfilled every prophecy about who the Messiah would be, yet failed to recognize God in the flesh right in front of their very eyes. He wept because He knew what was coming for His beloved city.

If I am identified with Christ, then shouldn’t my heart be broken over those around me who are lost and without hope and without Christ? Shouldn’t I be brought to tears over how so many people I know may face an eternity apart from the God who made a way of salvation for them?

The truth is that my heart is not broken, that I don’t shed tears over lost people, that most of the time I don’t really even give them a second thought. I’m too busy rushing from one Christian activity to the next to notice or care. That’s just me being honest.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of compassion that weeps for the broken and outcast and forgotten and abandoned. Give me tears for those who will turn to anything and everything but You and find only broken cisterns instead of Living Water. May I see with Your eyes the hurt and feel with Your heart the pain, so that I can love them in the same way You do.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.