faith

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Waking up, breathing in, and breathing out. That’s the gift. Everything else is gravy.

I had quite the interesting evening.

It started off as a normal Thursday. I stopped by Best Buy and browsed a bit. I stopped by Barnes & Noble and browsed a bit more.

I ended up at Maniacs for dinner, which seemed easier and more convenient than trying to turn left onto Mallory at 6 pm.

The trouble started when I got in my car to drive home. I put my key in the ignition and turned. Nothing.

I tried it again. Nothing.

I waited a bit and tried once more. Nothing.

One of the guys who worked there tried to jump-start my car. Nothing.

I ended up calling AAA. The guy who showed up tried the same thing. Nothing.

Then he did something I’ve never seen before. He took a long wooden pole and jabbed it at something in my engine while the jumper cables did their thing.

I almost felt like burning incense and chanting to help out. It felt that mystical.

Whatever he did, worked. I was able to start my car and drive to Advance Auto Parts, where further testing revealed that my battery, starter, and alternator were all fine and dandy, thank you very much.

I still don’t know what happened. Maybe I’ll never know.

I do know that sometimes God is trying to get me to trust in the dark. It’s not enough to trust Him when all my prayers are answered and when all my dreams come true.

Perhaps the best place is trusting no matter what. Even if my car doesn’t start, even if my life doesn’t make complete sense, even if I never see another tangible sign of God, I still have more than enough reason to praise Him. I still have more than enough reason to trust Him.

Can you trust God if the job offers don’t come? Can you trust God if the spouse you’re praying for doesn’t get well? Can you trust God if the money doesn’t come through to pay those bills? Can you trust God even if you can’t see any hope that God will ever bring that significant other into your life?

Ultimately, God is enough. When you finally get that, you can trust Him no matter what. I think I got one step closer to that tonight.

 

I Hate Goodbyes

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I hate goodbyes.

Even though part of me knows that the ending of one thing often brings the beginning of something new and better, I still want to hold on to the old.

Even though part of me realizes that nothing on this side of eternity can last, I still want little pockets of my life to stay the same, for certain people in my life to always stay the same age and never get older. That’s probably the same part of me that still thinks fat ol’ Santa climbs down the chimney to bring me my presents.

Goodbyes are never easy. Tonight was no exception.

We said goodbye to Mike Glenn as Kairos pastor. I understand that it was time for a change. I understand that Kairos needed fresh blood and a new vision. I understand that you can’t keep doing things the same old way year after year and hope for different outcomes.

That doesn’t mean I don’t think it sucks.

People who have been out there in the dating world know how hard it is to say goodbye to relationships. Sometimes even to the dream of a relationship. It’s gut-wrenchingly hard to say goodbye to loved ones who pass away, like aunts and uncles and parents. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to say goodbye to your child.

The part that I keep holding on to when unexpected (and sometimes unwanted) change comes is that there is no goodbye in God’s love for me. There is no end to that enless love that won’t let me go. It even holds on to me when I’m doing everything in my power to let go of it.

I can’t envision a scenario in any future where goodbye will ever be an easy word to say. I don’t want to ever get used to saying goodbye.

I know when it comes to my Abba Father and His unconditional extravagent love for me, I never will.

 

 

More Musings About Music

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So, I hear there was some kind of awards ceremony tonight for the music industry. Something called the Grannies? The Grammys? Something like that.

Anyway, I skipped it like I’ve skipped the last few. To my ears, the music that gets played on the radio sounds like a lot of ear candy– sorta like cotton candy set to a beat. If you like current top-40 music, more power to you. It just isn’t for me.

I like my music more off the beaten path. One of my favorite singer-songwriters is Lori McKenna, whose album Lorraine is (in my opinion) a clinic in what good songwriting sounds like. I highly recommend it. Now if I can only find it in my considerable collection of music.

I also like to go back and revisit music that I listened to in the past. I find that I hear it with a different set of ears and that I appreciate it in a new way.

I still think that nothing is more powerful than a song that tells my story and that speaks my thoughts. It’s sometimes almost like having my diary set to music. Sometimes it’s a little scary how close they get.

That’s why I think if I had to choose between movies, books, and music, I’d probably go with music. Music is the only media that affects every area of the brain. Or so I’ve read on the internet, so it must be true.

PS I found that Lori McKenna album. It will probably find its way into the rotation on my homeward commute at some point in the very near future.

More to come later on what I’m discovering and listening to in the wonderful world of music.

 

Grief

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I know recently we’ve had several celebrities pass away. I personally know of several friends (mostly of my parents’ age) who have lost loved ones.

Conventional wisdom says that you should grieve for an appropriate time then move on with your life.

I say (and I can’t say that I can speak from firsthand experience) that you don’t get over a loss like that. How can you go back to functioning normally with half of your heart missing?

I’ve heard adjusting to the loss of a spouse is like learning to live without one of your limbs. It requires adapting to a new normal. Nothing will ever be like it was. You will never be like you were when you were two. The hurt will never completely go away. But neither will the memories.

I also know some people who have had to bury their children. I can’t even begin to imagine how you go on after experiencing a loss like that. I suppose that only the strength God gives and that peace that passes understanding are the only things that sustain people though the death of a son or a daughter.

I can say with certainty that Jesus was well acquainted with the pain of loss. Isaiah 53 describes Him as a Man Acquainted with Sorrow and Familiar with Grief.

Above all, God knows about loss. He was the one who sacrificed His only Son so that you and I might have forgiveness and healing and life. So that death would no longer have the final say ever again.

So don’t let anybody tell you that you have to stop grieving after a certain point. If you grieve, it’s only because you had something beautiful, if only for a little while, and that’s not easy to part with. Goodbyes should never be easy.

I know in the end that nothing good and true is ever really lost. Because of Jesus and Easter, we know that death and grief and loss are only temporary. It’s love and hope and joy that are eternal.

 

Enjoying the Ride

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I confess. I do like to go back and reread books and rematch movies. Sometimes, the second time is better than the first.

I can get caught up in the storyline and in wondering how it will all turn out. The next time, I already know how it ends, so I can relax a bit and enjoy the scenery a bit more.

I have another confession to make. I’ve read the last page in this Great Story and I already know how it ends. Jesus wins.

Knowing that, I can enjoy the journey more. I can look around and see the beauty in my life and actually be present in the moments as they occur.

There’s great peace in knowing that victory is the ultimate destiny for those who love God and belong to Him. I still love the idea that as believers, we fight not for victory but rather from it. Just as obedience doesn’t mean that God will love us more but that knowing fully the love of God can spur us to greater obedience out of gratitude than any sense of duty or obligation could ever incur.

At present, my story may not look anything like I hoped it would. It may not seem like it’s headed for a positive outcome. But what I read trumps what I can see with my eyes. God has told me how my story ends and even though I don’t fully know what it looks like, I do know it’s far better than any ending I could have devised on my own. It will be the perfect storybook ending.

I love the part in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader where Lucy reads the beautiful story and even though she tried her best to remember, soon forgets it all. Aslan later promises that He will be telling her story all the time to remind her.

The gospel is Jesus telling us our story and how it ends so that we don’t forget, so that we can be reminded when it feels like the present chapter can’t get any darker and that it will never get better.

Don’t give up on the Story. Trust the Storyteller to end it as only He knows how.

The end.

 

Held

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Tonight at Kairos, Mike Glenn spoke from John 10:10 about how while the thief came to steal and kill and destroy, Jesus came that we might have life to the fullest. It was another in a long line of great sermons from Uncle Mikey, but that’s not what I’m writing about.

My mind took a tangent during the sermon, as those with ADD can testify happens frequently, and here’s where my thoughts took me.

Sometimes, it’s all you can do to put one foot in front of the other. Even breathing in and out is a tremendous effort of the will. You feel like your life is about to completely fall apart at any minute and your kingdoms will come crashing down.

Know in those moments that it is Jesus holding you together and you are safe.

Sometimes, you feel great. It’s one of those days where the stars align and everything falls into place and all your traffic lights are green. You feel almost invincible, like anything and everything is possible.

Know that even then your world is secure only because it is still Jesus holding you and your world together.

The same Word that spoke the world into being holds it all together. The same Jesus that holds the world in place has your life in His hands. You’ve never been more safe than when it’s Him holding your universe in orbit, keeping you at every moment from spinning completely out of control.

For some of you, that’s a nice sentiment. For others, it may be a much-needed reminder in a stormy season of your life.

As for Mike’s sermon, the gist is that the world around you lies to you about who you are and what you need to be happy and have a good life. Jesus is the only one who delivers on His promise of the good life. What He offers is more than just a good life, but life abundant, where you live out of the overflow of love and mercy, where you are drowning in the love of God, where all that peace can’t help but flow out to those around you.

See? I paid attention. Mostly.

Tom Brady and the Gospel

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“So never forget how you used to be. Those of you born as outsiders to Israel were outcasts, branded “the uncircumcised” by those who bore the sign of the covenant in their flesh, a sign made with human hands. 12 You had absolutely no connection to the Anointed; you were strangers, separated from God’s people. You were aliens to the covenant they had with God; you were hopelessly stranded without God in a fracturedworld. 13 But now, because of Jesus the Anointed and His sacrifice, all of that has changed. God gathered you who were so far away and brought you near to Him by the royal blood of the Anointed, our Liberating King” (Ephesians 2:11-14, The Voice).

I should probably preface this by making this disclaimer: I am not now nor have I ever been a New England Patriots fan.

That said, I am amazed at how people who profess faith in Jesus and will loudly sing about His grace are so quick to post hateful and unChristlike comments and statuses about Tom Brady and the Patriots.

I’m not defending whether or not they cheated. I don’t know. I don’t know Tom Brady personally, so I can’t say anything about his character or behavior.

I do know this. I’d hate to be scrutinized and judged the way he’s been judged. The Bible I read seems to tell us not to judge and condemn, yet I see believers rushing to cast judgmental and condemning posts his way.

I also read that Jesus defended a woman caught in the very act of adultery. He told her accusers that he who is without sin should be the one to cast the first stone. Apparently, there are a lot of sinless people out there casting stones at Mr. Brady.

I don’t know the condition of Tom Brady’s soul. I can’t vouch either way on his salvation. No one but Tom Brady and God can.

I can say that I’d hate for someone who professes to be a follower of Jesus to be a stumbling block to Mr. Brady finding that salvation through comments that serve no other purpose but to judge and condemn.

My God is a God of grace. My God is a God who reaches out to the least of these, to those who deserve anything but a second chance.

I know that I’d hate people to dredge up my past failures and use them against me. I know some of you really wouldn’t want that.

I’m not by any means saying to root for the Patriots. I’m not saying to go out and buy a Tom Brady jersey. I’m merely suggesting that we show him the same mercy that we’ve been shown by God though Christ Jesus.

No one really wants what they deserve. If we got that, we’d all be in a lot of trouble. An eternity’s worth of trouble.

So maybe instead of bashing Mr. Brady, try praying for him instead. Maybe extend a little grace. Remember that you once needed someone to extend grace to you and you will more than likely need it again at some point in your life.

If your love of sports can allow you to be mean and hateful to the opposing teams and players, perhaps it has become an idol in your heart. Perhaps it has come to be something more than the entertainment it was always meant to be.

These are just the thoughts of one ragamuffin who knows what he deserves and is forever thankful and grateful that through the grace of God he will never get it.

 

Thanks, Uncle Mike: The Sequel

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I heard out of your own mouth tonight that you are stepping down from Kairos soon. I’d heard it from other people recently, but even so, I couldn’t quite believe it even when you were the one saying the words.

I thought I’d say a few words to you, since I most likely won’t get to say them to you in person.

Thank you for being faithfully devoted to the Kairos ministry and to all of us who have attended over the years. We see how biblically wise you are. We also see how honest and vulnerable you are at times, making us feel like it’s okay to struggle and have doubts, even if you’re a senior pastor of a megachurch with several campuses.

I for one am a better person because of you and Kairos. I like myself a lot better than when I first started attending Kairos way back in 2006. I understand more of my Abba Father’s love for me and am learning how to define myself by that love and the voice that calls me His Beloved.

I learned how to take a few minutes in the middle of my hectic day and be still and have a moment or two of prayer. I learned that confession is not beating yourself up, but admitting that I acted out of fear instead of faith, of owning my sin and calling it for what it really is. I learned that I-40 West will take me to Memphis every time (even if I’m only going to Jackson). I learned that Oreos are your kryptonite and that a mostly clean glass of milk is still dirty.

I and many others saw how much you loved your parents, your wife, and your sons. That more than anything has probably helped strengthen many of our marriages and families.

I can’t imagine Kairos without you. I keep saying how much I like change and I’m always ready for it, but when it actually happens, I find I’m not so fond of it. Sometimes, I wish I some things could stay the same.

But I think I’m ready for what God has next for Kairos. I’m excited for you and what God has in store for you next. Plus, I’ll always think of you whenever I pick up a Henri Nouwen book.

Anyway, thanks for allowing God to use you in helping me become more like Jesus. I and the rest of those you’ve touched through Kairos will never be able to repay how much you’ve blessed us all.

 

Happy New Year’s Adam Again!

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Happy New Year Quote - Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy New Year Quote – Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Once again, it’s New Year’s Adam, which precedes New Year’s Eve, which itself precedes 2016.

For better or worse, 2015 is coming to an end.

For some of you, it’s a year to remember and you wish it could go on a little longer.

For some, it’s a year to forget and it can end quickly enough.

For most of us, it’s been a mixed bag of blessings and hardships, of joys and sorrow, of good days and bad days.

My boss where I worked previously used to say that any day without a toe tag is a good day. I take it to mean that any day that you wake up is already a good one. Any day you get a chance to be alive is better than all those yet to come that you may or may not get.

As a believer, I do believe that death is only a gateway to greater joy than I can possibly imagine. To be absent from the body, wrote the Apostle Paul, is to be present with Jesus. I believe that.

I also believe that life here and now is too precious to be wasted on fretting about what might have been or what could be. As one of my new favorite movie quotes says, “There’s no present like the time.”

“And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been” (Rainer Maria Rilke).

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, ‘It will be happier'” (Alfred Lord Tennyson).

Best of all, with Jesus every moment and every breath is a second chance to start over and be the person you always wanted to be, the person God made you to be.

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Step by Step

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You know what generation you are by what song came to mind with the above title. If you are from my generation, it was probably Huey Lewis and the News. If you came a generation later, you probably heard the song by New Kids on the Block.

But that has nothing to do with anything. Just one of those random observances that I am so very good at.

I went to the Opryland Hotel after work to see the Christmas lights. I ate at the food court at Opry Mills and walked over. After I reached the hotel, I probably walked for at least a solid hour.

Today, I logged over 21,000 steps on my Fitbit. That’s a new personal record.

It’s true that every journey begins with a single step.

It’s also true that there will be some days and seasons when you don’t feel at all like making a journey, when you are bone-weary, all you can do is put one foot in front of the other.

True maturity and spirituality isn’t about doing great things. It’s about how you keep taking the next step, no matter what, even if you don’t know where the next step will lead you.

If you’re not in that dark place, maybe what God is calling you to is to walk with somebody who’s there. Maybe you can be the encouragement a friend needs to keep going when all they want to do is quit.

One downside from sitting down after all that walking is that you realize how sore you are. On the upside, I saw the usual amazing lights and decorations, plus I got in a fair amount of people-watching (which is probably one of my favorite sports).

Life is hard, so go easy on yourself and on others. You never know the secret battles many are facing, so be sure to err on the side of grace and forgiveness.

Always.