faith

A Praying Life

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“God also cheers when we come to him with our wobbling, unsteady prayers. Jesus does not say, “Come to me, all you who have learned how to concentrate in prayer, whose minds no longer wander, and I will give you rest.” (Paul Miller, A Praying Life).

I’m not very good at prayer. Whenever I’m alone at the end of the day and I go to pray, I find that my mind can’t be still. Instantly, it’s like 15 televisions and 15 radios come on and start playing in my head, and I can’t get any of them to shut off.

I find that I pray in snippets, then my mind wanders off on a tangent (or I see something shiny), then I rein myself back in, then my mind wanders off again. I think my mind is like a toddler who won’t sit still.

The beautiful reminder for me is that even those awkward moments of silence are prayers. Those moments when we are desperately seeking the right words to pour out our conditions before God are  prayers. The groans and sighs that go too deep for words are prayers, because the Holy Spirit is inside us interceding for us and interpreting what not even we can decipher from all our jumbled thoughts.

When prayer becomes less about getting our laundry list of wants and needs before God and more about sitting at His feet, we are closer than ever to getting the whole prayer thing right. Even in those times when we don’t feel like we are even praying at all– just sitting in silence, away from the noise of life.

What’s important isn’t so much how well we pray or even how we pray but that we pray. As much as I’d like to get to the place where I can spend hours upon hours on my knees in prayer, spending any time with God whenever you get the chance is a win.

“What do I lose when I have a praying life? Control. Independence. What do I gain? Friendship with God. A quiet heart. The living work of God in the hearts of those I love. The ability to roll back the tide of evil. Essentially, I lose my kingdom and get his. I move from being an independent player to a dependent lover. I move from being an orphan to a child of God” (Paul E. Miller, A Praying Life).

Severe Mercies

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I survived a wreck today.

Actually, that makes it sound much worse that it really was.

I was in a three-car fender-bender where the car behind me got hit from behind and ended up bumping into me.

I ended up with a dinged-up bumper and some shaky nerves.

It could have been so much worse.

I often wonder why God allows His people to go through dark valleys of suffering.

I know that the world we live in is broken and all of creation is affected by the fall and original sin. Plus, there’s that little matter of free will.

I also know that sometimes it takes a little pain to get our attention and remind us that our lives are about more than just us and our pleasure.

I believe that there are some precious truths and lessons that can be learned no other way than going through the dark night of the soul.

We find true community when we come together to share each others burdens and be strong for the ones who can’t be strong for themselves.

I still believe that there is no situation any of us will ever go through that is so dire where we cannot discover small blessings and at least something to be thankful for.

The Psalmist said that even in the deepest and darkest valley he would ever walk through, the Shepherd was with him.

There is nothing that will ever come against the child of God that Jesus has not already faced and defeated once and for all on that Cross of Calvary. Nothing.

That means that any trial is temporary and any affliction is fleeing and momentary.

You can survive just about anything if you can see beyond it to something better. Even Jesus endured the cross, knowing the joy that awaited Him on the other side.

Ultimately, I still believe that every day I wake up is grace and everything beyond that is gravy and there are a multitude of blessings and gifts to be found along the way with those who see with eyes of faith.

 

 

Things Everyone Should Have (or Do)

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I’ve decided there are a few necessary things everyone should have in order to make their lives better. No, you won’t cease to exist without any of these, but they do make your existence (particularly on Mondays) more bearable:

  1. Everyone needs a place to escape. My place is Radnor Lake State Park. It’s as close as I’ll probably ever get to Middle Earth this side of Heaven. It’s hard to believe this panacea is probably about 10 miles from where I live.
  2. Everyone needs a geriatric pet who loves to cuddle. I’m partial to my 16-year old feline, but I love older dogs as well. It’s nice to have a furry friend to come home to.
  3. Everyone needs some good music for the road. You may let the radio do the picking for you, but I prefer the path less travelled. I have my vast CD collection and (on occasion) a considerable playlist on my iPhone.
  4. Everyone needs a good novel. Right now, what I’m reading doesn’t technically fall under the category of novel, but it’s worthwhile reading nonetheless. I’m working through Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.
  5. Everyone needs a good shower. I prefer mine in the morning to help me wake up, but I’m all for those who like a steaming hot shower just before bed. Either way works for me.
  6. Everyone needs something bigger than themselves to believe in and hold on to. I choose Jesus because He’s the only one strong enough to keep all the pieces of my world in orbit and hold me together.
  7. Everyone needs chocolate. Or vanilla if you’re one of those weird people who don’t like chocolate. The end.

Another Saturday in August

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I’m going on record to officially state that I am over summer. I don’t mind heat as much as I mind the humidity that seems to never go away. Lately, even the rain doesn’t help much but only serves to make things even muggier.

I still managed to hit up all my favorite Franklin places on this wet evening. As it turns out, wearing sandals was not the wisest decision I’ve ever made in my life. My feet ended up getting a bit wet due to the constant rain that fell during my whole time in Franklin.

I still managed to spend some quality time in my favorite church, St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. I’m up to 20 minutes of silence with no interruptions by phones or tablets or anything else electronic. When you’ve grown accustomed to constant stimulation by social media, 20 minutes of nothing can seem like a really long time.

I still think that if I win the lottery or come into an unexpected windfall, I am moving to one of the houses on Fair Street. The whole street is like something out of a fairy tale or a George MacDonald fantasy novel. I’m not picky. I’ll take just about any of the houses there.

I almost forgot to mention that today was Serving Saturday for The Church at Avenue South. I’m not a gardener and I do not have a green thumb by any stretch of the imagination, but I got in some yard/landscaping work in, trying to unravel a tangled vine growing on one of the walls in the Room in the Inn courtyard. That was sweaty work.

My geriatric cat is on the pillow next to me as I type all this. She was snoring softly a little while ago but something woke her up for a bit (and she had that annoyed look before she went back to sleep).

I’m not too far behind her. I think I’ll send myself off to sleep with a little Gordon Lightfoot. See you all tomorrow night.

 

My Report for August (Borrowed from TCM)

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I’ve done this type of post before where I write about what I am listening to, reading, and watching in hopes that it might inspire you to share what you’re absorbing these days. Plus, if you’re stuck on ideas, these might be worth checking out at some point in the future.

Musicwise, I am obsessed with the songwriting of Lori McKenna. I’ve trekked home for two days successively with her albums Massachusetts and The Bird & The Rifle. Both are worth picking up if you happen to run across them in a record store. Both are filled with songs that remind me of why I fell in love with music in the first place.

Bookwise, I am about to embark on the latest in the Harry Potter universe with Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I’m curious to see how this entry matches the tone and feel of the other books in the series (seeing as how it’s actually a stage play authored by someone other than J. K. Rowling).  I’m also extremely stoked to finally have my hands on a little devotional book entitled Seven Sacred Pauses by Macrina Wiederkehr (which I am fully expecting to rock my world).

I’m revisiting the strange and wonderful world of Twin Peaks, the short-lived, quirky, sometimes bizarre series that is slated to finally get around to its third season 26 years after the last episode aired way back in 1991. Maybe this means that Firefly will have a much-belated second season at some point in the near future? A brown-coat can dream.

Moviewise, I seem to be stuck on a Ingmar Bergman kick. Lately, I’ve watched both Through a Glass Darkly and Winter Light, two out of a trilogy based on Bergman’s struggle with God and faith. I don’t necessarily agree with some of his conclusions, but I have to admire that he was a brilliant filmmaker who was much more interested in creating art with a message than mass-producing eye candy that sells a lot of movie tickets.

That wraps up my report for August. Stay tuned for the next time I get around to writing about all the media I’m consuming. As always, I’d love to hear what you’re listening to/reading/watching these days. I just may add it to my ever-growing list.

 

Six Years Later

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Lost in all the hoopla over both the Republican and Democratic National Conventions and all the madness that ensued was the fact that recently I celebrated my sixth anniversary of blogging for WordPress.

Part of me feels that it can’t have been six years because the time has gone by so very quickly. Another part of me is shocked that I’ve only been doing these posts for six years because I feel that I’ve grown so much since that very first one way back in July 28, 2010.

C. S. Lewis wrote that often on a daily basis you can see very little change, but when you look back over a number of years you see a huge difference between your present self and your former self. Time can be deceiving in that way.

I truly believe that monumental change happens in the form of daily small changes that happen over time. Every 10,000 mile journey begins with a single step and the daily choices you make that take you either closer to or further away from your desired destination.

I’m thankful for a vehicle like WordPress that makes it easier for me to get my thoughts out there into cyber-land. I also love the fact that it corrects my bad spelling so that you think I’m smarter than I really am.

My advice for those who want to write is two-fold: 1) find your own voice and 2) stay true to it. Finding your own voice means that you tell your own story and not someone else’s. It means that you write about what you know and what makes you come alive. Staying true to your own voice means that you write what’s in your heart, not what you think others will want to read. Most of all, just write.

Thanks, everybody, for six amazing years. Here’s to at least six more years of me writing and you reading.

 

Maturity

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I’m laying (or is it lying) in bed, typing this as I listen to the rain pounding on the window. There’s something comforting to me about storms when I am safe indoors and not out driving in one.

I’ve been thinking about something quite a bit lately. In theory, we’re the most tolerant society, yet in practice we are anything but. We talk a good game about how we tolerate anything and everything, yet wait until someone disagrees with us or spouts a political view that is opposite to what we hold dear and see just how tolerant (or intolerant) we really are.

It’s about maturity. How do you react when you speak your opinions and someone contradicts or criticizes you? How do you take criticism?

Once again, I do not mean that you meekly abide under verbal or physical abuse. I do not mean that you allow someone to berate or insult you and not defend yourself.

I do mean someone who disagrees with your beliefs or convictions. How tolerant are you then?

I confess I don’t like criticism. I may not always show it, but I tend to be defensive and angry when I get told I’m wrong. A lot of people are that way.

Maturity means you don’t always have to agree 100% with criticism, but you can always find some nugget of wisdom there. You can always use the negative comments to spur change for the better within yourself.

It’s one thing to be steady in your convictions, beliefs, and actions, but it’s quite another to live outside of any accountability in a place where no one can ever correct you for a perceived mistake or unwise choice. You need at least one person whom you give the permission to speak into your life, even if that means they can tell you the truth about when you’re out of line.

Maybe we can get to the place where we can actually have an open dialogue and listen to what those on the other side of the debate are actually saying instead of the all-too-common haranguing, name-calling, and demonizing that characterizes much of what goes on in politics and society.

Maybe we can get to the place where we welcome dissenting voices that will challenge us to examine our own beliefs and convict us to live in such a way that our actions match our words.

God help us all.

My Occasional Political Soapbox Rant

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It feels like an extended full moon season the way people are acting. Actually, it’s just election season, and people have lost their ever-loving minds. In response, I broke from the norm and wrote a rare political rant. Here goes (deep breath):

Rant for the day: It seems to me as long as the two-party system is in play, both parties are all too willing to play up the other side as being evil and how you must vote for our candidate unless you want “them” to win.

There’s an underlying sinister attitude on both sides that says, “You’re gonna take what we give you and like it. If not, there’s the door. The other side will be glad to have you.”

Sadly, too many are too willing to drink either the blue Democratic or the red Republican kool aid. Too many are selling out their own ideology and beliefs to tote the party line instead of thinking for themselves. Too many will turn a blind eye to the faults of their side while magnifying the faults of the other side and demonizing anyone who disagrees with them in any way. The end result will most likely be more of the same, regardless of the outcome. Here endeth the rant.

The point I’m making is that people are once again willing to believe that politics as usual can solve what is ultimately are deep spiritual problems that no human candidate (male or female) can solve. Once again, most will be disappointed when they find out the result is politics as usual.

I’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating. After this election, we will have a new president, but Jesus will still be King. In four (or eight) years when the next one steps into office, Jesus will still be King. After the last President, Jesus will still be King.

My hope isn’t in what some politician will do in the distant future or in the promises he or she makes. My hope lies in what Jesus has already done and in the promises He’s fulfilled. I’m banking on the fact that whatever I am afraid of and whatever obstacle lies in front of me Jesus has already overcome and defeated on the cross.

My hope is not in Trump or Clinton. My hope is still in Jesus.

 

 

2,200 and Counting

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“And don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life” (1 Corinthians 7:17, The Message).

I recently received a notification of my six-year anniversary with WordPress. I’ve come a long way since that very first blog way back in July of 2010 that announced my arrival into the wild and exciting world of blogging (said with sarcasm).

I’m still not a fan of the word “blog.” It sounds like something you do that you don’t ever discuss in polite conversation, especially in mixed company. It also sounds like something you blow out of your nose when you have a cold.

In the ultimate irony, I’m slowing learning that to grow up and get to the place God created you to be, the best place to start is to learn to be content with where you are and who you are. The more you strive out of insecurity or envy, the more you find you’re vainly fighting the air while running in place. You don’t get very far that way.

The best way to find contentment is gratitude. Giving thanks makes what you have enough (as Ann Voskamp has said more than once) and it makes your life fuller and richer by putting your focus on what you have instead of what you lack.

Giving thanks opens your hands to receive more true riches from God’s hand. The problem with the prosperity gospel is that it focuses on the temporary riches that rust and fade, but the true riches that come with thanksgiving are the kind that are eternal and changeless.

I’m thankful tonight for a job that I enjoy, a cat who also moonlights as a very affordable therapist, a comfy bed, people who care about me, and a God who is crazy about me even after all these years.

I’d call that the good life.

 

Another Night of Worship

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It’s 10:19, I’m tired, and my feet hurt. A little. That’s a good thing. A very good thing, in fact.

I tallied just over 13,000 steps today after getting in over 22,000 yesterday. I’ve put in quite a bit of walking lately, which hopefully translated into burned calories and lost weight.

Tonight was the semi-annual Kairos Night of Worship. The theme was Wildfire, praying  to be the spark that leads to revival fires breaking out in this land.

I’ve been praying for revival, especially in my own heart. Everyone goes through seasons of dryness and numbness in their spiritual walks and I am no exception to the rule. I know faith isn’t solely about feelings, but I also know that it can be rough when it feels like you’re going through the motions.

Still, God is faithful, even when I’m not. His fidelity more than makes up for my lack of it. If it were up to me, I’d have fallen away a long time ago, but it’s not. God is more than up to the challenge of holding on to me during the seasons when I’ve felt like letting go and giving up.

It was a great night. Sure, the worship songs were amazing and the teaching was stellar. For me, the best part was the reminder that my primary identity, the core of who I am deep down, is that of Abba’s child.

All of my failings and weaknesses do not define me any longer. My on-and off-again passivity does not define me. Being Abba’s child and hearing my Abba call me Beloved is what defines me both now and forevermore. That’s what I choose to identify myself as from this day forth.

I’m thankful for family and friends who consistently remind me of my true identity and who encourage me to be better today than I was yesterday. Thanks, everyone.