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The Wild, Wacky, (Sometimes) Wonderful World of Facebook

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facebook-funny

I’m sure I’ve posted about this topic before, but I forgot what I said, so this may or may not be a repeat.

I’m a fan of facebook. I mean, where else can you see updates of what your friends are doing and where they’re hanging out. You even get to see pictures of their kids, their grandkids, their pets, their cars, their houses, what they ate for breakfast, etc.

Yet, I also know that facebook can be a very lonely place. Kinda like the proverbial “being alone in a crowd.”

If you’re looking to facebook for affirmation, you’re bound to be mightily disappointed. Who hasn’t posted a status update and almost heard the crickets chirping? Who hasn’t poured their heart out and gotten no response? It’s easy to feel ignored on facebook.

Possibly you’ve had a friend or two that seemed to be the ones who consistently commented on and liked your posts, but have seemingly gone silent on you, making you wonder if you’ve done something to offend them.

As I’ve learned, lots of people might read your posts without commenting or even liking. That won’t show up in the oh-so-important little part at the top that tells you how many friend requests, messages, and notifications you have. And when someone doesn’t comment on or like your posts, it just means they’ve got lives to live and their own mess to deal with. That’s all.

On a side note, if you’re looking to people for affirmation, whatever they give you will never be enough. You might think that you’d be fine if people would only just “like” your posts. But when that happens, the next natural step is wishing that people would make comments on those posts. It’s never enough, whether on facebook or twitter or in real life.

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I personally have had to step back and take a break from facebook when I found myself upset that a friend of mine responded to everyone else’s comments on their post but mine. Yeah, it got that crazy. And yes, they do make pills for that.

My facebook philosophy is this: I gotta be real, honest, transparent, and me. It may not be popular (’cause I know deep down that I’m not very popular– it takes special people to appreciate my brand of weirdness). I also make an effort to be encouraging and positive and stay away from political stuff (who has ever changed their politics due to something they read on facebook, anyway?)

I will sometimes go through and comment on my friends’ status updates and “like” what they post because I know that sometimes you need visual affirmation that someone out there knows where you are and what you’re going through. But that’s just me. I don’t expect that from anybody else anymore.

So have fun posting pictures of your dog in tuxedo and of the pasta you ate last night. But keep it in perspective. The only true affirmation you need comes from God, and he’s already given it to you. He loves and accepts you just as you are and not as you should be.

It’s Time To Play “Name That Fear”

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I have an image in my mind of that old TV game show where the contestants were constantly yelling, “Big bucks! Big bucks! No whammies!”

It’s time for me to name one of my fears, that big ol’ ugly whammy that has always gotten to me– the fear of abandonment.

I’m putting this out there so that 1) it will lose its power over me and 2) so that you can be brave enough to name your own fear and diminish its power over you. So here goes.

My fear is the fear of abandonment. I’m afraid that you will get to know me and then decide that I’m not worth the effort, that I’m really too messed up for you to deal with, and you will go away.

I go through long stretches where I am good and that fear isn’t a problem. But then someone won’t respond to a text or will stop commenting on and liking my facebook posts and that old fear creeps up. That voice says, “See? They’ve given up on you” or “They’re gradually pulling away from you and pretty soon won’t have anything to do with you.”

Or maybe I’m at a social event and a friend isn’t as friendly as usual and I wonder if I’ve done or said something to offend them. I fantasize in my mind how they’re really angry with me and are just waiting for the right moment to tell me where I can go and what I can do with myself (putting it nicely). I’ve actually played out those scenarios to the point where I’ve thought a friendship was over when it wasn’t even close to being over.

Sometimes you can recognize a lie and believe it anyway because it’s familiar. It’s all you’ve known and lived with your whole life. But when you name it and where it came from, it loses its power over you.

So, I name that fear of abandonment from the pit of hell and I claim the blood of Jesus over it right now. I receive my status as the beloved of God, chosen by Jesus.

Now if I could just hit some of those big bucks. . .

Thanks for the Birthday Wishes

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Since I gave up facebook for lent (or took a sabbatical, if you will), I thought I’d use this forum to express my sincere thanks and gratitude for all the posts wishing me a happy birthday.

My response goes like this: Thank you. Yes, it has been a great birthday. Yes, I’d like that Starbucks. I like the idea of an extended birthday celebration, since February is the shortest month, so I will keep partying right on into March.

I’m feeling the facebook love. I know that ultimately the only approval that matters is from God, but it’s still nice to know that I am appreciated by so many people from so many different parts of my life.

So, for all of you who are just dying to know what I did today, here goes. It was a low-key day. My parents took me to Miller’s Grocery in Christiana, a fantastic meat and three restaurant that everyone within 50 miles of Nashville should check out. I watched It Happenend One Night, an old Frank Capra movie that was the first to win Oscars in every major category. I had quality therapy time with my cat Lucy, who deemed my lap worthy of her presence and her nap time.

Tomorrow, I’m volunteering at the Youth Evangelism Conference. I served last year and had a lot of fun, plus I came to one of these conferences as a youth way back in 1897. I look at this weekend as paying it forward to the next generation of youth.

I’ll be back on facebook after Easter, but I wanted to make sure that my gratitude didn’t go unexpressed. I am eternally grateful to every single one of my facebook friends, even to the ones who didn’t get around to wishing me a happy birthday. You all rock.

 

My Break From Facebook Update

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It’s been 5 days since I last logged on to facebook. That may not sound like much to some of you, but for me, it’s a big deal. I’ve been known to check in multiple times during the day, mostly to see who liked or responded to one of my posts. Not like in the past, where I lived or died by who liked my status updates, but I still like to see who’s keeping up with me.

I catch myself starting to go to the website out of habit and divert myself to msn.com or espn.com. You don’t realize how addicting something is until you go cold-turkey from it.

I find that I am less anxious for the most part. The only thing I worry about is the notion that when I get back to facebook after Easter, that I will have far fewer friends than I did before I took a break from it/gave it up for Lent/took an extended cyber-holiday (pick any of the three).

I’m committed to seeing this though. I’m committed to using the time I normally spend on facebook to spend time with God in his word and in prayer. If you ask, “How’s that workin’ out for ya so far?” I say, “Up to this point, not so much.”

I remember what a pastor said. Fasting is giving something up to in essence say no to its demands on you, because no one and nothing has the right to make demands on your life other than God. I’m not calling this a fast, but I am recognizing that facebook does tend to dominate my thoughts more than it should and periodically, it’s good to step away to regain proper perspective and right thinking.

I feel at the moment like the runner who’s a mile or two into a marathon and thinks that there’s no way in the world he’ll finish. I don’t know how I can possibly hold out for the next few weeks. But if I take it one day at a time, one mile at a time, one step at a time, it doesn’t seem so hard anymore. Kind of like most things in life.

So pray for me that I put the new-found free time to better use. Pray that I am open to what God has to say to me during this time and the humility and bravery to not only listen to what he says, but to put it into practice.

I’ll keep you updated periodically as to how I’m doing with this. In the mean time, may you find freedom in giving up those things you thought you couldn’t live without to find more of abundant Life.

 

What Are Christians For?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I was finishing up season 1 of Downton Abbey when a facebook post caught my eye. It was entitled “A Christian’s View of Downton Abbey.” I had to read, though I feared what the result would be.

My fears were realized. The reviewer condemned the series after watching part of an episode.

I’m not here to say the assessment was wrong. You have the right to your opinion and I have the right to mine. What bothered me was that this is yet another example of how we as believers are known for what we’re against, rather than what we’re for.

I still remember how Christians came out against the Harry Potter books and movies, even though most of them had not read one word of the books or seen any part of the movies. I even saw Christians attack Twilight and try to tie the series to teenagers wanting to become vampires. As if Twilight was the only vampire franchise in town.

How does any of this attract people to Christ? How does any of this show love? I’m all for personal convictions, but I’m not about to impose my personal convictions on someone else. I’m not about to condemn someone else who has different convictions than mine.

I choose to show what I’m for rather than what I’m against. I want people to know I’m for Jesus and all he stands for. That’s love, forgiveness, second chances, repentance, belonging, renewal, and –best of all– life abundant.

I don’t believe in condoning sin or sinful behavior. But I believe in loving the sinner.

Above all, I know how many times I mess up in a single day. I’m not about to pick up a stone to throw at anybody, because I know that I can’t say that I am without sin. I’ve been the recipient of grace from God and so many people over the years and now it’s my turn to pay it forward and show that grace to as many people as I can as much as I can.

This isn’t written by someone who’s figured it all out and is preaching at you from on high. As the old saying goes, “I’m just one beggar trying to tell other beggars where to find bread.” I’m just a sinner saved by grace who fell in love with Jesus and wants every single person to know that.

That’s all.

Waiting in the In-Between

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In The Magician’s Nephew, a great fantasy book by C.S. Lewis, the main characters find themselves in a “Wood Between the Worlds” kind of place. A place where nothing ever happens, with a warm and calming kind of quietness. A place where you can almost hear the grass growing and branches sprouting leaves.

I’ve felt like that. Like I’m waiting in a place between the now and the not-yet. I feel like time slows down in this place and the waiting seems to take forever and nothing ever really seems to change.

I check my facebook and see everyone else moving past while I’m stuck in the waiting. I see all the parties and social events I didn’t get invited to and I see people’s lives moving at breakneck speed while mine seems to trudge on at a turtle’s pace.

But I believe God’s word for those in the In-Between is simply to wait.

Don’t force the next chapter or the next step. Don’t try to pry open the door into the next part of your life. Being at the right place at the wrong time is still wrong.

We feel like what God wants from us is activity and busy-ness. What God wants from us is dependence and trust. And sometimes rest.

Waiting in the In-Between is not doing nothing. It is getting ready for the next part. It’s becoming the person you need to be to do what God is calling you toward. He’s the one who knows when you’re ready because He’s the one getting you ready.

Instead of a frenetic and feverish impatience to get on to the next big event, try a little deep breathing and deep trusting. Trust that although you may not know the way, you know the One who is leading you and you know that He knows the way and will get you there exactly when you need to be there.

Maybe this time I’ll take my own advice and just learn to enjoy the ride instead of waiting for the destination.

PS You don’t have to wait alone. Part of the blessing of being a part of the Body of Christ is that we not only worship and pray and laugh and weep together. We also wait together.

Choose This Day

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Every single day that I am blessed to wake up is a day that I must choose whom I will serve.

Every day I can choose to serve myself and chase after fame and success and pleasure and money, or I can choose to serve the Lord and find blessings upon blessings, too many to contain.

I can never coast on what I chose yesterday. If I chose the Lord yesterday, that was yesterday. I can stll choose to serve myself today. I have learned that lesson the hard way many times.

Who will you choose to serve today? Who will you choose to glorify?

When people look at the words you speak and post on facebook, who will they be drawn to, you or Jesus?

When people look at the way you live, will they think how cool and great you are or how great and marvelous is this God who saved you?

Most days, I choose to serve me. Most days, I seek after what I want when I want it. God gets my leftovers, if there is anything left.

The beauty of it is that even after those selfish, self-serving days, I can still choose the next day to serve the Lord. I still get new mercies and fresh grace for that new day.

There are a lot of options to choose from these days. You will wake up to a thousand voices telling you to serve them or their cause or their belief system. You will never lack for choices of who to serve.

But for me, if I’m honest, there’s only ever been one choice as to who to serve. Only one voice who has always backed up His claims and made good on His promises.

As for me and my house, today I will serve the Lord. I pray that tomorrow that by the grace of God I can say the same, but for today, my choice is final: I WILL SERVE THE LORD!

How much do I love Jesus?

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The topic at tonight’s Kairos Roots was fasting and how we are commanded to fast from food, media, etc. Basically anything that creeps in and starts taking priority over God in our lives. We fast for God’s direction and guidance, when we are mourning, when we are embarking on a new venture, and when we want to hear from God more clearly.

I remember something I read from John Piper that says in essence that fasting says, “This much, O God, I desire You.” More than the food I’m not eating. More than the facebook that I am not logging into. More than the TV or radio I am leaving turned off.

But how much do I really love Jesus if all these things take priority over him? I will confess that I have days that I have very good intentions to read my Bible. . . . . after this episode of Friends. After I’m done checking everything out on Facebook. After I post this blog. The funny thing is that I never actually get around to reading my Bible. Sadly, some days I forget I even intended to read it.

That says that Jesus is not my first love. All these other things rank ahead of Him in my life.

Maybe fasting is a way of saying: I love you Jesus more than these things I am giving up. I am making an effort to love You, because love is ultimately not a feeling, but an act of the will. Through Your grace, I am demonstrating love put into practice and praying that this will increase my love for You.

I do know this. Jesus is worthy of my fasting and so much more. He is worthy of everything I have to give and a million times more. When I see things right, I am so very grateful that what really counts is not how much I love Jesus, but how much He loves me and how that Love is changing me to be like Jesus.

Amen and amen.

Bedtime thoughts

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40).

That’s it. Love God and love others.

But for you to love God, you have to know the reality that God already loves you. For you to love others as yourself, you have to love yourself. Ultimately, you can’t do it. Well, I will only speak for myself here and say that I can’t love God or anybody else, even me, on my own strength. I need Jesus in me, pouring out His agape love, or else I am empty and cold and love-less.

Sometimes, God calls you to love yourself as you love your neighbor. Sometimes, it’s easier to love someone else than to love that person you hang around with every minute of every day. That person who looks back at you in the mirror with accusing eyes that speak of all the impure thoughts, mixed motives, and selfish ambition.

That’s when you and I have to believe what God says about who we are over what we see and think and feel. As a friend of mine told me once, “What you think and feel will lie to you.” But God never will.

God is true. God is love. And God loves you.

And you have all the power of Christ that overcame the grave in you. You have His perfect righteousness that covers your own wretched self-righteous rags of filth.

So be free to love. Love God, love others and love you.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.