Five Years Later

It all started on July 25, 2010. That was the day I wrote my first blog for WordPress. It all started as a sort of tribute to one of my favorite writers, Brennan Manning.

Since then, I’ve amassed 1,831 posts (counting this one). That’s one a day if you’re keeping score.

Back then, I had a full-time job at Affinion Group that I liked some days and didn’t like on others. There were days I daydreamed about what it would be like to give my two week notice and other days when I was counting my blessings (mostly those were the Fridays on which I got paid).

Now, after three years of temp jobs and no stability, I look back and see that I really had a good thing there. Of course, hindsight is 20/20. But these days, having a job– any job– is a blessing.

I imagine that there are some blogs that get as many readers on one of their posts as I’ve gotten in all my posts combined. I’m okay with that. It was truly never about the numbers. It was about me finding an outlet for what I’m discovering about myself, life, and God.

I’d keep writing these if I only had two devout readers– my mother and me. Heck, even if it were just me reading these I’d keep writing them.

I hope I have at least five more years of these blogs. My next goal is 2,000 posts, which I should hit by early 2016.

So even though I’ve said it already many times, I’ll say it again. Thank you for reading what I write. Thank you for sticking with me when I got off track occasionally and when I wrote 300 words about nothing in particular. Thanks for your likes and your comments and your shares.

50,000 views is a big accomplishment for me and all the credit goes to you.

PS I would have written this on the actual anniversary of my blog, but it slipped on me like a stealthy ninja. In other words, I forgot.

 

Thanksgiving in Advance

If you’ve ever been out of a job, you know it’s not fun. Well, maybe for a day or two when it still seems like a mini-vacation, but when the bills start coming due and there’s not enough money to cover them, reality rudely barges in.

Maybe you’ve been praying for a job. Maybe you’ve been praying for a spouse. Or maybe you’ve been praying for something else entirely. I have a suggestion.

Maybe you thank God in advance for His provision.

Here’s the way I see it. God will either 1) give you what you ask or 2) give you something better.

I’m not saying that God is a celestial genie who will unload untold riches on you if you know the magical password or rub the lamp a certain way.

I am saying that God knows best how to give good gifts to His children. He knows what they need best, far more than they often do. He does after all own all those cattle on those thousand hills.

I truly believe that the best gift God gives is God. God gives Himself. And God plus nothing else is better than everything in the world minus God. God is enough.

So maybe you and I need to incorporate more thanksgiving in our prayers. I know sometimes it’s hard to give thanks when all you see are unpaid bills and all you feel is anxiety. But even if you’re alive, that in itself is something to be grateful for.

Maybe you can even try the experiment where every day you list three things you are thankful for. I do believe gratitude changes your perspective and helps you see more of what God is up to in your life. Gratitude opens your eyes to the miraculous.

At least try it for 24 hours and see if it doesn’t make a difference in your outlook.

 

Stewardship

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In ye olden castle days, stewards were the ones who took care of the finances and property management of the castle and surrounding village. The stewards didn’t own any of it, but they took care of it as though it were their own.

Most people, when they hear a preacher bring up the word “steward” or “stewardship,” automatically think, “Uh-oh. Here comes another sermon on tithing.”

Stewardship is about money. But it is so much more than that.

The truth is that nothing you have really belongs to you. The earth and everything in it, including you, belong to the Lord.

Your money? It really belongs to God.

Your career? Also God’s.

Your spouse? Ditto.

Your children? Not yours.

When you make Jesus Lord of your life, He takes over ownership of all that you call yours. But when you think about it, everything you have is really a gift from God anyway.

Your money and your ability to earn it come from God. He created you with unique talents and gifts to be able to start a career and earn a living.

Your spouse and your children? They belong to God, not you. God has entrusted them to your care and expects that you will present them back better than when He gave them to you.

It’s humbling when you realize you’re not the king of your castle. Even more so when you realize you don’t even own your own castle.

May we all remember that we are stewards of what really belongs to God. May we take good care of what– and who– He has entrusted into our care so that when He comes, He can say to us, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

New Year’s Adam 2013

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Ok, so you’re probably wondering what the heck I mean by New Year’s Adam. Think of it this way: Adam came before Eve, so New Year’s Adam comes before New Year’s Eve.

Now that we’ve got our terms defined, let us proceed.

I’m both glad and sorry to see 2013 go. But mostly glad.

It’s been a trying year with lack of stability in the employment and financial areas. I’ve had to reassess my view of relationships and realize that sometimes it is good and healthy to give up on certain relationships and move on rather than stay and risk further disappointment and hurt.

Yet I’ve known more intimately how God can sustain me and hold me up in the midst or turmoil and uncertainty. I’ve learned to count it all joy and find my miracle by living out of eucharisteo, or thanksgiving with joy and gladness.

Most of my loved ones are still here. Most of my friends have stuck around and remained as encouraging and positive as ever. Even some of the weight I lost has found it’s way back home. Boo.

I haven’t set any new year’s resolutions yet. I may not. Those generally tend to flame out in the first month anyway. I’m more inclined to let God lead and concentrate more on seeking Him in a more disciplined and consistent way than in 2013.

I still have three movies I haven’t seen from last year’s list of best picture nominees. I should probably get around to thar before the new list gets revealed.

I’m thinking 2014 will be a good year because it will be God’s year. I’m anticipating and expecting more than ever that He will show up in every area of my life and do great things.

More to come tomorrow.

I’m So Very Tired That I . . .

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I am tired. I mean more than “I slept until noon and now I need a frappucino from Starbucks” tired. I mean soul-weary and bone-tired. I figured out by my vast mathematical skills that by tomorrow’s end I will have worked almost 70 hours this week. That’s a lot.

I’m so very tired that I spent 20 minutes looking for my iPhone last Sunday. The very iPhone that was attached to my belt the whole time. I even called it a few times from the house phone. Sad.

I’m so very tired that not even my super-awesome concoction of coffee + hot chocolate + creamer seems to be working lately. I even almost miss those Diet Mountain Dews. Almost.

I’m so very tired that I fantasize about sleeping in. Just sleeping in, under the covers, alarm clock turned off. That’s all. And by sleeping in, I mean past 5 am.

I’m so very tired that even I am wondering what I’m doing typing this when I could be sleeping and dreaming and all those restful things. The sacrifices I make for my art. Sigh.

I’m so very tired I think I actually fell asleep twice on Wednesday in the middle of working, each time for about 15 seconds. I don’t think I dreamed that.

I’m so very thankful that my God never gets tired, never needs sleep, never grows weary of watching over His children or blessing them.

I’m so very thankful that there is never a moment when I’m out of His care, away from His gaze, or not in His heart. Not one.

Now I get to go to bed. I get to rest. God willing, I will get to wake up and go to a good job and live my blessed life for one more day.

Life is good, God is great, and I am still more blessed than I deserve.

One Weird Weekend

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Forgive me if I’m having trouble remembering what day it is. Let me explain. No, there is no time. Let me sum up. (A shiny nickel to the first person to correctly guess what movie I just referenced).

I worked Wednesday. Tracking so far?

I had Thursday off, since it was Thanksgiving aka Turkey Day aka National Food Coma Day.

I had Friday off, because it’s Black Friday aka National Recovery from Yesterday’s Food Coma Day.

I worked today.

I’m off tomorrow.

Where am I? Who am I? What year is it?

Ok, it’s not quite that bad yet. I know it’s still 2013 for another 31 days. I know there are 24 shopping days until Christmas.

Sometimes, we all lose our way. We forget who we are and why we’re here. We forget that it’s about more than just you and me in our tiny well-ordered lives.

As Rick Warren most famously said, it’s not about you. It never has been. It has been, is, and will always be all about God. But God has invited you and me to be a part of what He’s doing. We get to be conduits of blessing that bring Him glory.

I forget who I am. I forget Whose I am: I am the Beloved of my Abba, the one in whom He is well pleased.

I forget why I’m here. And my purpose is this: “Celebrate always, pray constantly, and give thanks to God no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. This is God’s will for all of you in Jesus the Anointed” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

To celebrate God’s goodness. To pray without ceasing. To give thanks in everything. That is God’s will for me. Yeah, it’s that simple.

I needed that reminder. I hope you did, too. And it is Saturday, FYI.

Ramen Noodle Nights

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We had a special promotional handout to give to the good people at Kairos tonight. To raise awareness of Belmont Move-In Day on August 17, we handed out packages of ramen noodles (not to be confused with Roman numerals). For me, seeing one of those brought back so many memories.

For those of you who are sadly uninformed about these marvels, Ramen noodles are a super-cheap food source primarily consumed by the college freshman. Notice I said food source. I did not say food. I’m fairly certain no actual food ingredients are in these noodles. It’s entirely preservatives and GMOs and MSGs and all those other products that are really supposed to be bad for you. The upside is that if you eat these consistently, you probably won’t need botox any time soon.

Sometimes, you want more than Ramen noodles. I’m sure no one ever turned down a porterhouse steak for Ramen noodles. But Ramen noodles do beat nothing. Barely.

Sometimes, you might wish you had a better job and a better living situation. You might dream of driving a newer car that doesn’t have as many quirky noises and “character” i.e. scratches, dents, holes, missing parts, etc.

The upside is that you have a job. You have a place to live. You have a car that gets you places, even though it may not be in style. Part of the eucharisteo lifestyle of thanksgiving and gratitude with joy that I’ve been writing and talking about lately is being thankful for what you do have. Being out of a job for a long period of time makes any job seem better and I am more consciously grateful for the job I have now.

Ramen noodles aren’t something you eat at every meal for the rest of your life. They get you through until you can afford real food. That’s the same for parts of your life. Your time of singleness may seem like it will never end, but it’s just a season where God molds you into the husband or wife who can best serve and cherish and love the spouse He has for you.

Your job and living situation may not be ideal, but God is teaching you to be faithful and diligent in the small things before He will entrust you with more. And remember you woke up today. You got out of bed and walked. You were able to dress yourself and think rationally. There are so many things you take for granted that once you start giving thanks for will open your eyes to how blessed you really are.

I just may have to buy me some Ramen noodles soon. I wonder if they’re still 4 for $1.

 

Things I Love 41: The Beat Goes On

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“When service is unto people, the bones can grow weary, the frustration deep. Because, agrees Dorothy Sayers, “whenever man is made the center of things, he becomes the storm-center of trouble. The moment you think of serving people, you begin to have a notion that other people owe you something for your pains…You will begin to bargain for reward, to angle for applause… When the eyes of the heart focus on God, and the hands on always washing the feet of Jesus alone – the bones, they sing joy and the work returns to it’s purest state: eucharisteo. The work becomes worship, a liturgy of thankfulness. “The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action” writes Mother Theresa. “If we pray the work…if we do it to Jesus, if we do it for Jesus, if we do it with Jesus… that’s what makes us content.” Deep joy is always in the touching of Christ – in whatever skin He comes to us in” (Ann VoskampOne Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I saw a friend from high school today that I hadn’t seen since my 20 year reunion. She and her husband and kids live just outside of Chicago, so it’s not like I can just hop in the car and run across town to see her anymore. But that makes days like today all the more precious, because it’s like we picked up where we left off, like no time at all had passed. That’s how it is with good friends. So, on that note, I pick up at #1,241.

1,241) Spending time with a good friend from high school and catching up on everything.

1,242) Finally walking away (literally at swing dancing tonight) from a relationship that wasn’t any good for me.

1,243) Walking to my car in the rain after swing dancing tonight at Centennial Park.

1,244) My bike that I’ve been intending to ride all summer but haven’t gotten around to yet (but I will).

1,245) Not being in a hurry all the time.

1,246) Knowing that there will be no more cancer or Alzheimer’s or dementia or sickness of any kind in heaven.

1,247) Collecting little ceramic churches (kinda like the Thomas Kinkade churches but not as nice or expensive).

1,248) Starting my job a week from Monday.

1,249) The moment when I surrender my plans and say to God, Your will be done.”

1,250) Clean underwear.

1,251) Not having paparazzi following me all the time. Or ever.

1,252) Having 30 more views on my blog  today.

1,253) Finding loose change in my pockets.

1,254) Keeping my eyes on the prize instead of on my obstacles.

1,255) Quoting lines from movies at opportune moments.

1,256) That tramps like us, baby we were born to run (according to Mr. Springsteen).

1,257) The Message translation.

1,258) Going to bed after I finish this particular blog.

1,259) Looking forward to Things I Love 42, whenever that may be.

1,260) Keeping a $2 bill in my wallet for luck.

1,261) Realizing how much I’ve grown up and in grace in the last few years.

1,262) 10,000 reasons to worship.

1,263) Lots of good music coming out and me finally having a job to buy these albums.

1,264) Being reminded yet again that the best things in life really are free.

1,265) My collection of Muppet finger puppets.

1,266) Checking the “This post is super-awesome” box every time after I finish a post. And not really taking it too seriously.

1,267) Reading about a former porn star who’s now a believer.

1,268) I Am Second.

1.269) God is first.

1,270) Old rotary phones.

More About the Whole Waiting Business

If you’ve ever had to wait for something you wanted, you know how hard it can be.

If you’ve ever been through the process of looking for a job and felt one door after another slamming in your face, you know how discouraging it can feel and begin to doubt yourself a little.

Or maybe you’ve been waiting for that right person for what seems like forever and you’re beginning to think they will never come, you know how sick of heart you can get.

There is nothing that God makes you wait for that won’t be worth it. The fact that it’s taking him this long must mean it’s really good. After all, he did create the whole world in 7 days, so if he’s taking longer than that with your life, you know the result will be spectacular.

The easy thing to do is to give up on yourself, on others, and on God. Don’t.

The hard thing to do is keep trusting, keep believing, and keep holding on to the promise that God always finishes what he starts.

But nothing worthwhile was ever easy. Nothing that matters comes without effort and sweat and blood and tears. Just ask Jesus about what that feels like.

If you can’t trust your whole future to God, just trust him for the next 24 hours and see what happens.

I have to remind myself of a few things because I’m so forgetful and prone to worry.

1) God is good. All the time.

2) God hasn’t forgotten you or where you are.

3) God will complete the good work he started in you.

May we not only learn to wait, but to wait well and expectantly.