drugs

I’m Not Even On Drugs. I’m Just Weird.

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I’m not even on drugs. I’m just weird.

That sums up my day. I’ve been racking my brain for 30 minutes thinking of something noteworthy to write about, but apparently, the literary part of my mind has already called it a night and gone to bed.

I read where having your dog sleep next to you on the bed helps you to sleep better, reduces anxiety and depression, and increases your lifespan. I wonder if sleeping next to snoring cats has the same effect.

I believe that Fall officially starts in two days. For those of us (like me) in Tennessee, that means we have all the pumpkin spice beverages to consume while it’s still at least 90 degrees outside for another month or so.

Still, I’m thankful. I’m grateful for every day of life that I get. I’m appreciative for good health and mobility. The older I get, the less I take these things for granted because the more I know people who didn’t get to wake up this morning and experience the miracle of life.

I highly recommend that you get either a dog or a cat who can sleep next to you in bed. I also recommend partaking in a pumpkin spice beverage at least once during the season. Most of all, I recommend giving thanks every day for at least one good thing, no matter how small. See how that will change your perspective.

 

Philip Seymour Hoffman and the Struggle for Authenticity

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I was deeply saddened when I read of the passing of Philip Seymour Hoffman, one of the best character actors around. I like many of you was shocked to find out that drugs, and more specifically heroin, were the culprit for his demise.

I thought, “Why in the world would a guy as successful and talented as that need to medicate with drugs? What could possibly be so bad about his life?”

Then I read a blog or two about him that opened my eyes. I’ll do my best to simplify what I read there without plagiarizing anything or anyone.

Sometimes, character actors can lose themselves in their roles. They almost literally become the characters they’re portraying. Which is all well and good until it comes time to be yourself again.

I wonder if Philip had forgotten how to live in his own skin as himself? Or maybe he didn’t like who he was and preferred to live as someone else?

I know like so many addicts, he probably at some point chose the drug, but after a while it stopped being a choice. Unless the drug was the one who chose him.

I’m sure he hated the drug that he craved at the same time. Maybe he felt he was too far gone to save, too deep in his addiction to find a way out. Maybe he didn’t feel like he could let anyone into his battle with drugs and felt like he had to fight alone.

I’m speculating a lot here.

But I do know this. Jesus came to set the captives free.

He came for the addict. He came for the self-abuser. He came for those who don’t like what they see in the mirror and who don’t like themselves very much.

I’m not going to speculate as to whether Mr. Hoffman knew Jesus or not. Many believers get just as caught up in addictions and have just as many character flaws as anyone else.

I will say that God is close to the broken-hearted and those who are crushed in spirit. He’s near to those who cry out of desperation and deep need.

If you’re trapped in addiction, get help. Don’t fight your demons alone. And know that God is the champion of the downtrodden and distraught, the losers and underdogs, those who just can’t get their messes cleaned up or their lives figured out.

Last of all, remember that it’s only by the grace of God that it’s not you or me lying dead in a bathroom with a heroin-filled needle stuck in our arms. Only the grace of God keeps any of us alive and wakes us up in the morning.

Yeah, I still love the grace of God.

I’m Not Crazy, Am I?

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I think there’s a common belief among evangelicals that every problem can be solved by praying more and having more faith. Sometimes that’s true, but sometimes it’s not.

Sometimes, you need a little help.

Some people have anxiety that won’t go away, no matter how much praying they do. Some people have depression that all the faith in the world can’t lift.

That’s why there’s doctors and medication. Because sometimes your brain just doesn’t work right. Sometimes you have a chemical imbalance or synapses misfiring, and you need help.

I do think that a lot of issues are spiritual in nature and I really truly believe that God can heal. I also believe God put it in the hearts of men and women to help cure people of physical and mental ailments. God sometimes chooses to cure through human hands.

I don’t like the term “mental illness.” As a pastor said, it gives the impression that your malady is all in your head. But, as he went on to say, a broken mind is just as broken in a very real sense as a broken limb.

As of today, I am taking medication for generalized anxiety disorder (with obsessive thinking that I can’t shut off thrown in). I can’t wait to be myself again, to not live under a constant state of anxiety and to finally be able to listen to myself think for once.

It’s not a shameful thing to admit you need help. Or that you need drugs to function normally (prescribed over-the-counter drugs taken according to the instructions).

It doesn’t mean you’re less of a person or less of a Christian if you struggle with depression or anxiety or are bipolar. In fact, your struggles will give you a testimony to reach people for Christ that most people can’t touch. You will be able to use your pain and sttuggles to help someone else through theirs.

And by the way, normal is just average. Don’t be normal. Be spectacular. Be extraordinary.