desire

Forgiving Yourself

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“How can we forgive those who do not want to be forgiven? Our deepest desire is that the forgiveness we offer will be received. This mutuality between giving and receiving is what creates peace and harmony. But if our condition for giving forgiveness is that it will be received, we seldom will forgive! Forgiving the other is first and foremost an inner movement. It is an act that removes anger, bitterness, and the desire for revenge from our hearts and helps us to reclaim our human dignity. We cannot force those we want to forgive into accepting our forgiveness. They might not be able or willing do so. They may not even know or feel that they have wounded us.

The only people we can really change are ourselves. Forgiving others is first and foremost healing our own hearts” (Henri Nouwen).

Sometimes, the hardest person to forgive is yourself. It can be much harder to forgive yourself or to receive forgiveness than to give it. But at the end of the day, we are all broken and hopeless without Jesus. We all bring nothing to the table in and of ourselves but our own sin, but when we are in Jesus, we bring Jesus, and that is enough.

Does God Want Us To Be Happy?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” (C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses).

Tonight at Kairos, Chris Brooks asked the age-old question, “Does God really want us to be happy?”

I admit that for years the answer has always been a knee-jerk version of “No, God doesn’t want us to be happy. He wants us to be holy.”

Maybe happiness and holiness aren’t mutually exclusive. Maybe holiness doesn’t have to mean a dour demeanor and grumpy face. Perhaps there is happiness in enjoying God and His good gifts.

The problem isn’t in seeking happiness but that we seek for it in the wrong places. We seek to find fulfillment and joy in the created rather than in the Creator, and in the gifts rather than in the Giver.

It’s not that we desire too much but that we desire too little. We can glorify and make an idol out of just about anything (or anyone). Careers, possessions, relationships, children, morality, and even worship (more accurately, the worship of worship and the adrenaline rush it brings).

We can’t seek happiness and joy outside of God because it doesn’t really exist. At least not true happiness and joy. We often end up over-stimulated and under-satisfied. Nothing apart from God brings a lasting gratification.

That’s why there’s always the push to do more, buy more, consume more, and be more. It will never be enough.

God is enough and in Him are joys and pleasures and happiness that will never end.

 

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“I’m not there yet, nor have I become perfect; but I am charging on to gain anything and everything the Anointed One, Jesus, has in store for me—and nothing will stand in my way because He has grabbed me and won’t let me go. Brothers and sisters, as I said, I know I have not arrived; but there’s one thing I am doing: I’m leaving my old life behind, putting everything on the line for this mission. I am sprinting toward the only goal that counts: to cross the line, to win the prize, and to hear God’s call to resurrection life found exclusively in Jesus the Anointed. All of us who are mature ought to think the same way about these matters. If you have a different attitude, then God will reveal this to you as well. For now, let’s hold on to what we have been shown and keep in step with these teachings” (Phil. 3:12-16).

One thing that I keep learning and re-learning is that you can’t keep doing the same old things in the same old way and expect new results. You can’t keep doing things the way you’ve always done them and expect change.

The old definition of insanity holds true: doing the same thing over and over and each time expecting a different result.

Growth in the Christian life is a matter of discipline drenched in grace. You supply the disciplines and the effort and realize that even then, it’s only grace that brings about the real change.

Without grace, you can grit your teeth and lace up those old bootstraps and work for all you’re worth and still be the same old you.

It’s all grace. Even the desire from within to change is because of grace.

Let’s make 2016 different because we no longer belief that maturity and growth come through the osmosis of sleeping with a Bible under our pillows. Let’s train ourselves to be not the same old people we were in 2015, but people who will diligently hunger and thirst after Jesus and His words, no matter what.

The end.

 

Bob Dylan On the Brain: My Top Ten

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I’m sure all of you Bob Dylan fans have a list of your favorite Dylan albums. I personally discovered several websites that ranked all his albums from best (in their opinion) to worst.

I’m not that dedicated, but I do have my own personal top ten favorites. Here they are ranked from #10 to #1 (more or less).

10. Oh Mercy (a bright spot in an otherwise less-than-stellar period from about 1983 to 1990)

9. Another Side of Bob Dylan/The Times They Are A-Changin’ (I picked both because hey, this is my list and I can do what I want)

8. Time Out of Mind (produced by Daniel Lanois, this one has a very unique vibe that I really like)

7. Desire

6. Saved (the second of Bob Dylan’s Christian albums and also the second to feature the famed Muscle Shoals sound)

5. Blood on the Tracks

4. Blonde on Blonde/Highway 61 Revisited/Bringing It All Back Home (again, I cheated a little because I like all three of these and they are pretty much around the same time period)

3. The Freewheeling Bob Dylan (it may not be his first album, but it’s the one that put his name on the map)

2. Slow Train Coming (the first and best of his Christian albums)

1. John Wesley Harding (maybe the first Americana album ever?)

Cover Front

I’m sure some of you who are more seasoned Dylan fans may take umbrage to my selections and rankings. Some of you reading this may think Bob  Dylan is the worst artist ever. That’s because art– any kind of art– is subjective. What some people consider a masterpiece may be what others might call garbage or noise.

But I like what I like (as I’m sure you like what you like). I realize that ol’ Bob is not the greatest singer I’ve ever heard, but I like his masterful way of penning lyrics that can be challenging, confronting, convicting, and at the same time, poetic and, for me at least, cinematic.

That Longing Inside

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

till we have faces

“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing — to reach the Mountain, to find the place where all the beauty came from — my country, the place where I ought to have been born. Do you think it all meant nothing, all the longing? The longing for home? For indeed it now feels not like going, but like going back” (C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces).

It’s that longing. If you watch TV at all, you are led to believe that you can fill that longing with a new car or a new kitchen appliance. Or maybe if you drink the right beer or wear the right kind of sweaters. Just about anything and everything from fast food to cologne to mattresses will satisfy that deepest of longings inside of us, or so we’re told.

I think all of us have deep longings that nothing we do or buy or acquire can ever truly satisfy. For most of us, we’re unable to even name what that longing is or even pinpoint what it is that we truly desire.

That C. S. Lewis guy also said that if we have longings that nothing in this world can satisfy, then it means that we were created for another world. I think he was on to something.

I personally find myself longing more and more for a world I’ve never seen before, but one that I have dreamed about. I imagine it will look a whole lot like Mr. Lewis’ Narnia, especially the one described in toward the end of his book, The Last Battle.

“Death opens a door out of a little, dark room (that’s all the life we have known before it) into a great, real place where the true sun shines and we shall meet” (C.S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces).

 

 

Trusting in True Love

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

charliebrownisokay

“But for my part I trust in thy true love.
My heart shall rejoice, for thou hast set me free.
I will sing to the Lord, who has granted all my desire” (Psalm 13:5-6).

That’s where I am, folks. My life hasn’t turned out like I thought it would, and that truly is okay. It only means something better’s coming.

I still believe that with all my being. I still believe that God has taken me by a unique path because He has unique blessings in store for me.

Maybe that’s you. Maybe your life hasn’t turned out nearly to be what you’d thought it be at this point. Maybe you haven’t hit those all-important societal markers that tell you that you’ve arrived.

Maybe you don’t have kids. Maybe you’re not married. Maybe you’re (gasp) still living with mom and dad, It’s easy to feel like you’re the world’s biggest failure.

But maybe, just maybe, that’s where God has you for a reason. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve got something special coming and you’re just not ready to receive what God has in store for you right now.

I know that the Bible is replete with stories of people who had to wait for their promise from God. Joseph, Moses, Abraham, and David are just a few out of many. So if you’re waiting, you’re in good company.

The point is that what God has promised to you is truer than your present circumstances. In fact, He is so true to His word that whatever He’s promised is as good as done and you can truthfully say right now that God has “granted all my desire.”

That’s not an easy place to be, waiting on God’s promises. Waiting is never easy. But it is a good place. And always, always worth it.

 

 

 

American Idols

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

image

I suspect that we’re all guilty of idolatry at some point. I wish I could remember the definition of idolatry I heard earlier today, but I didn’t take very good notes so I’ve forgotten most of it.

It had something to do with us valuing anything more than God, of seeking our identity and purpose in anything other than God.

In biblical times, idolatry often meant bowing down to little tin or bronze statues. But in our time, it is much more subtle. Sometimes it’s harder to detect because it looks like normal devotion.

I wonder how many parents idolize their children. Or how many children idolize their parents. Or maybe it’s men (and women, too, I suppose) who make idols out of their careers or their spouses.

I think anytime you say that your child is your world, you’ve created an idol out of him or her. The same goes for spouses or boyfriends or girlfriends.

You can even make religion into an idol if you get caught up in following rules and rituals for their own sake rather than because it pleases Jesus.

It can be wealth or the desire for wealth. It can be sex or the desire for sex. It can be a relationship or the overwhelming desire for one. Idols are tricky like that. It’s not about an object as much as the desire in your heart.

You can make idols out of genuinely good things, like your children, your marriage, your job, your bank account . . . just about anything and anyone can be an idol if you place it above God in your heart.

How do I know so much about idolatry? Because I’ve had more than my fair share of idols. I can always tell when a relationship has become idolatrous in my life because my peace of mind gets tied to my perception of how well that relationship is going.

It’s easy to point the finger at the Israelites in the Old Testament for their propensity for idolatry. Heck, they were barely out of Egypt before they were bowing down to golden calfs. But that tendency is just as much in me as it was in them. I suspect it’s in you, too.

I think we have idols because we haven’t fully grasped how good God is, how much He’s really for us, and how much He really does love us. Or maybe we’ve just forgotten like those old Israelites did back in the day.

The best way to combat idolatry is to remember. To go back and recall how it felt when you first grasped the love of God for you. Or as the Bible puts it, “to remember your first love.”

When You Feel Like Giving Up

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I’ve felt like giving up sometimes. And by that I don’t mean I felt a desire to end my life. I just didn’t feel like trying anymore. At the time, I felt like I didn’t matter and nothing I did made any difference. Like the world would be better off without me.

But those thoughts were lies. I know that now. I’ve learned not to trust every feeling I have. I’ve come to realize that not every thought in my head deserves attention, because what I think isn’t always true. The Bible calls it “taking every thought captive.”

God is always true. He never lies. I know now I can always trust him, especially in the times when I can’t trust my own thoughts and feelings.

It’s easy to let fear or anger or doubt or depression skew your reality. It’s easy to give into those fears and the bondage that comes with them. But that’s no way to live.

It’s much harder to say, “I need help.” It’s much harder to say, “I can’t do this on my own. I’ve tried and tried and failed and now I need help.”

Sometimes faith and prayer are enough. I know personally that sometimes it takes medication and counseling. It’s not weakness to need pills to help you think normally. It’s because you and I and everybody else live in a fallen world and have brokenness because of sin entering the world.

Just remember that God’s in control. He’s bigger than any problem you’re facing. As a pastor I once heard said, what seems impossible to you and me isn’t even remotely difficult for God. And he’s waiting for you to ask him for help.

There’s a whole lot I don’t know. But one of the few things I do know is that God is truly close to the broken-hearted and crushed in spirit. He knows where you are and what you’re going through. And he will get you through it.

That’s what I know.

 

The First Letter to My Future Wife in 2013

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I have a confession to make to you. I actually gave up on you for a little while. I gave up hope that I would ever meet you. But now I have hope again.

It may the tiniest bit of hope, but it’s there. It may not always be visible, but it’s strong enough to hold on to. I will never give up believing in you and praying for you until the day I meet you.

At this rate, we may both be 80-something and senile, but we’ll have fun– at least for a little while.

Don’t give up on me either. Don’t quit praying for me as I won’t give up praying for you. May we both commit to growing closer to Jesus and by that way grow closer to each other. May your first desire not be to find me, but to seek after and hold on to and treasure Jesus for all he’s worth. May that be my first desire, too.

I’ll be honest. Right now, meeting you seems like an impossibility, humanly speaking. But I believe that God is at his best at making the impossible possible. So I keep hoping. And praying. And waiting.

I pray that I don’t find you until I’m ready to love you like I’m supposed to love you. Like Jesus loved his bride and laid down his life for her. Like he will call me to love you when I meet you.

Until then, my hope is secure in the only place that can’t be shaken. It’s in God himself. I pray yours is, too.

 

 

Lies I have believed

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

Even now I still buy into the lie that says, “No one knows you or wants to know you. No one cares about you. You are not welcome or wanted. You are nothing but a shadow that will pass away and nothing will be different when you’re gone.” Even in the midst of those thoughts, when I am almost completely given over to despair and self-pity, Jesus still speaks freedom and truth into my life and against that lie. He illuminates the darkness and exposes what I have believed for the deception it really is.

When the lie says, “No one really knows you,” Jesus, You say, “I know you down to your innermost parts and I know the plans I have for you.”When the lie says, “No one cares about you,” You say, “I care. I loved you so much that while you were a sinner and hostile to me, I died for you. When the lie says, “You are not wanted,” You say, “Come and drink, you who are thirsty for love and come and eat, you who hunger for acceptance. Come to me and I will never cast you out.”

Jesus,  You say, “If you seek Me and not popularity or acceptance, you will not only find that I am your heart’s greatest desire, but you will also find yourself next to those whose hearts are also tuned in to Me. When you can no longer walk, you will findI have placed other in your path to be My hands to carry you. When you can no longer speak, they will be My voice to speak to you and for you. They will share your burdens, sorrows and joys.”

Jesus, take every lie that I have believed and show it to me through Your eyes as the deception it really is. Bind and rebuke the enemy from my mind and so fill my thoughts with You that there is no room for any other voices. Help me to believe the best about my family and friends and loved ones and never to give up on anyone because You never gave up on me– and never will!

Love Your people through me. May I never take it upon myself to determine who is or is not worthy of receiving Your love, but to remember that no one is worthy of Your love, but Your love made us worthy. Thank You for Your reckless, wild, unrestrained, passionate crazy love for me. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Heal the dark and scarred and shameful places in me.

Captivate me so that I will only chase after You alone and not make idols out of the people or things or places You put in my path. You know that I am by nature prone to idolatry at times and practical atheism (living as though You didn’t exist). Capture my heart so that nothing else will ever matter next to knowing You and making You known.

Help me to remember that I am broken and part of a community of broken people. I belong to a body of believers who don’t have the future mapped out, but know the One who is the Way; who don’t have life figured out, but know the One who is the Life; and who don’t have the answers, but know the One who is the Truth. You are 100% completely in control and we are 100% completely dependent on You at all times for every single thing. You and you plus nothing else make a great Church. Only You are worth living for and only You are worthy of all the honor and glory and praise I can ever bring and a whole lot more. No one or nothing else. Only You.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.