death

Things I Love 23: Who Says You Can’t Go Home?

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island hammock

Sometimes, you gotta quit trying to figure situations and people out and just go with it. Just be in the moment and enjoy it without having to analyze it or interpret it. You’ll have the rest of your life to look back on that moment, but only once to live it. Such are my profound thoughts on this rainy 4th of July. I guess we’ll pick up where we left off at #621.

621) The way my cat kneads the pillow and purrs loudly before she curls up and goes to sleep next to me.

622) Rotel dip.

623) Watching the fireworks with my community group in a slight drizzle tonight.

624) When I stop seeking blessings and start being one.

625) God using me in ways I will probably never know about to touch people’s lives and impact the kingdom of God.

626) Quiet windshield wipers.

627) Being a social butterfly.

628) Picking up two pairs of shorts at a thrift store for $5 (thanks to today being 50% off day).

629) Not having to logon and wait for an internet connection before I can type all this.

630) God loving me as fully and completely as if I were the only person to love.

631) My very patriotic red white and blue Converse high tops.

632) God’s patience with me.

633) The $5 flag t-shirts at Old Navy.

634) What someone posted on facebook about how we celebrate America’s independence by drinking alcohol and playing with explosives.

635) The sound of bagpipes.

636) Amazing grace that saved a wretch (and not a wrench as I used to sing it) like me.

637) Laying in the back of my Jeep with the windows rolled down and the tailgate up.

638) Comfy folding chairs.

639) Peppermint mocha frappuccinos from Starbucks.

640) Cilantro on just about anything.

641) That eureka moment after a brain fart where the name you’re trying to remember finally comes to your mind.

642) The MacGregor tartan plaid.

643) Having so many fans, both here and in heaven, cheering me on as I run my race of faith.

644) The way after one plan got cancelled, another was right there to take its place.

645) Being surprised by joy at every turn.

646) Having a musical collection that includes recordings from every decade back to the 1890’s.

647) Those crinkly fries.

648) Not having to prove myself to anyone anymore.

649) The possibility at any time of genuine revival breaking through.

650) The homegoing of one of God’s saints because it it precious in his sight.

651) That God’s plan isn’t determined by how much I understand but is so much bigger than what I can comprehend.

652) Onion rings.

653) The turkey burger from Huey’s.

654) Not weighing 400 pounds after all the favorite foods I’ve listed so far.

655) Soft comfortable sheets to sleep in.

Things I Love 18: I’m Not Eighteen Nor Am I Alice Cooper

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island hammock

I’m sitting all alone on a Saturday night (through nobody’s fault but my own). It’s not so bad. It’s good to be alone every once in a while instead of always needing to be around people and events. I’m not saying I want every Saturday to be like this, but one in a blue moon is good for me. It might even help this blog. So, starting at #446, I continue:

446) The new family tradition of the water balloon toss where none of us really know the rules and none of us are really any good but all of us have a grand time anyway.

447) The thought that when I get turned down romantically that she’s the one ultimately missing out and not me (insert smiley face here).

448) Discovering an old band like The Cardigans and realizing they had so many great songs other than their one-hit wonder song.

449) That I’m not in control and I don’t want to be in control. God is more than capable without my help or expertise.

450) God allowing me to wake up this morning.

451) Being 41 when so many family members and classmates and friends won’t ever get to see that age.

452) That I may actually finish this book I’ve been raving about for weeks (but not really reading) called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

453) With God, I’ve learned to never say never to anything because God is the ultimate Master of Surprise in relationships, careers, or anything else you can think of.

454) Both cats and dogs (and who says that I should have to choose one or the other?)

455) Having 411 songs on my iPhone and a freakish amount of variety that I can carry around in my pocket.

456) That your smart phone has way more capacity and memory than the computers at Apollo during all those space missions during the 60’s and 70’s.

457) Getting hand-written notes.

458) My lava lamp that I got from Spencer’s on sale for $10.

459) Jesus loves me where I am but refuses to leave me there.

460) Finding deals at Goodwill like my $7 red suitcase.

461) Old-school country music like Patsy Cline and Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.

462) Living in Nashville.

463) That my movie tastes include movies like Bridget Jones’s Diary.

464) Seeing the movie Grease in an actual movie theatre (but not when it first came out ’cause I was a bit too young for it then).

465) Going to McCreary’s Irish Pub and knowing just about everyone who works there and them knowing me by name.

466) Going in to Target for one thing and coming out with everything but that one thing I went in there for.

467) Nerding out at McKay’s Used Bookstore (which also has DVDs, blu rays, records, books, and anything to satisfy my inner geek).

468) Shopping and eating local whenever I can to support the community.

469) Being an Independent and not drinking either the Republican or Democratic kool-aid.

470) That both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my last nerve.

471) My collection of old transistor radios (which I am happily accepting donations for).

472) That as of this writing there are only 178 days , 1 hour, 3 minutes, and 7 seconds left until Christmas. Not that I’m counting.

473) Being able to google anything to make myself seem a whole lot smarter and hipper than I really am.

474) That death, hell, and the grave do not have the last word. Jesus does.

475) Finally beating a level on Candy Crush saga.

476) That my 70+ suntan spray will probably keep me safe in the event of a nuclear holocaust with only minor sunburn.

477) My old 1828 Bible that is still in very good condition.

478) Only 532 more to go (and I didn’t even need a calculator to figure that out!)

479) Realizing that forgiveness is never earned or deserved but is purely and simply grace lived out.

480) Having the very best sister in the whole wide world (and no, that is not up for debate or just my opinion, it is a fact).

More for Those With Broken Hearts

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I have something I’ve learned about having my heart broken a few times that I want to pass along to you. First of all, I want to say that okay to grieve when your love or interest in someone goes unrequited. It’s okay to hurt. I think it requires as much of a grieving process as losing a loved one, because you’re seeing the death of a dream that was very dear to your heart.

I think it’s okay to be brutally open and honest with God about the pain. He can take it. Besides, he already knows those feelings that you pretend aren’t there when you tell yourself that you’re fine.

That said, I think one good thing out of having your heart broken is that it is never again the same shape as it was, pre-break. It’s larger. And if you choose the path of healing versus the path of grudges and bitterness, good things can come out of the pain, such as these:

You have more room to love others and you have an increased sensitivity to those in pain around you who need your love.

You give more grace toward those who act out of their own hurt toward you because you remember when you did the same out of the great pain you were once in.

You have more compassion and tenderness in general because you know what it’s like to need it and find it so you want others to experience the same joy you did.

Finally, you become a little more like Jesus because you’ve shared in his sufferings. Jesus above all knows the pain of a broken heart, both physically and metaphorically. He’s the one who wept over Jerusalem because they wouldn’t come to him and find life and freedom. His heart was just as broken that day as when the spear pierced his side into his heart.

So remember that there is nothing broken that God can’t take and make beautiful. No, not just beautiful like it was before. It won’t ever be the same. It will be much, much better.

 

 

 

Sadness and Joy

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It seems there is so much sadness in the world lately. From the Boston Marathon bombings to the tornadoes that ripped through Shawnee and Moore, Oklahoma, it seems tragedy and loss are everywhere. It seems like on Facebook people are having to say goodbye to loved ones, where they be furry or people.

It can be overwhelming if you let it. The magnitude of pain around the world right now is massive. So many people are hurting, so many are suffering, so many seem like they have nothing to look forward to but more hurt and suffering.

But as callous and unfeeling as this may sound, you can still have joy. Joy is not a denial of what happened in Boston or Oklahoma. Joy doesn’t turn a blind eye toward those who have suffered and lost. Joy sees past the pain to the God who waits on the other side. The beautiful part is that God is on both sides of the pain and walking with you through it.

I love an illustration a pastor gave. Jesus isn’t limited by time and space, so he’s in your present with you. He’s also in your future, so that the promises he gave you are already as good as done. He’s in your past in that moment when you were wounded, ready to heal you so that your past wounds no longer bleed into your present. He’s in all three places at once.

I am convinced that sadness and joy can coexist. It’s only right to grieve what’s lost. But we don’t grieve as those who have no hope. We grieve with hope that one day God will set everything right and will restore a thousand-fold what we’ve lost or given up. We grieve as those who know that our troubles are only a blip on the radar screen compared to the glory that awaits and that what we suffer pales in comparison with the ultimate joy that awaits us.

So my heart aches for all those in pain tonight, but my heart rejoices that while there may be pain in the night, joy comes in the morning.

 

Thoughts About the Boston Bombers

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I know there are some people out there that are celebrating the capture of the two individuals who allegedly set up the bomb devices that killed three and injured so many at the end of the Boston Marathon. I know many people out there want these two to die slowly and painfully so that they feel all the suffering they inflicted on their victims.

But I wonder how many out there will pray for them? I wonder how many out there really believe that Jesus really died for EVERYONE and that God’s love is truly UNCONDITIONAL. Even for terrorists and criminals.

I think so. Just ask the Apostle Paul.

I also wonder what might have happened if either of these two men had seen the love of Jesus lived out before them. If someone had come alongside of them years before and said, “I’m your friend,” not out of a need to convert somebody but out of a genuine love that expects nothing back in return.

I wonder who will mourn the tragic tale of two lives gone horribly wrong and how they got so blinded that they willingly embraced the lies and the hate that could only lead to nothing but destruction and despair.

I am saddened at the lives lost– all of them. I am glad that justice is served, but that doesn’t mean that I rejoice over death. Even God doesn’t rejoice in the death of the wicked (see Ezekiel 18:23 and Ezekiel 33:11).

Faith shouldn’t ever be about us versus them. It should be about us and God. It should be about who we are and who we would have been apart from the grace of God. It should be about seeing the best in people, not the worst, and helping them to see it, too. It should be about holding on to the Love that is stronger than Evil and Death and Hell and believing that this Love ultimately wins out in the end.

 

 

Praying for Boston Tonight

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boston

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today” (Genesis 50:20).

I, like so many of you, just happened to turn on the television and spent the next several minutes trying to figure out what was happening at the Boston Marathon. The more I watched, the more I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It felt like I was watching a disaster movie.

It was horrific. People being carried away with missing limbs and blood splatters on the streets isn’t what you normally see on the news, especially that early in the day. The same feeling I had on 9/11 came back, only this time it felt scarier even though the terrorist attack was on a much smaller scale. I thought, “This could have happened anywhere at any marathon or half-marathon or 5k. It could have been The Music City Marathon and one of my friends who got caught in the explosions.”

I still have trouble accepting that it really happened. Did some deranged lunatic really blow up a bomb, then set the second one to go off just as the first responders were arriving? Did he really put shrapnel int the bombs to make them more lethal? Did he target that 8-year old boy or did he just have the misfortune to be in the way?

I can’t fathom the logic behind something like this. This level of evil goes beyond anything my mind can comprehend. A part of me wants to see this guy caught and shown no mercy, the way he showed mo mercy to these victims.

Then I remember the story of Joseph. How he suffered atrocities at the hands of his own brothers. How he ended up sold into slavery, the first victim of human trafficking in recorded history.

I especially remember his words in Genesis 50. What people intended for harm and for evil, God turned it into good and to salvation for a whole nation. Not only did survival come out of these atrocities, but salvation came through the person of Jesus, from the lineage of David.

I don’t know how, but I do know God will turn this heinous evil into good– someway, somehow. I don’t mean the act itself was good or that the aftermath is anything worth celebrating, but a reason for all of us to mourn and weep.

Yet I do believe that there will be stories that come out of this that will glorify God. Stories of people who sacrificed their bodies and lives so that others could live. Stories of how people came together as one, running toward the carnage when others were running away, and giving a little glimpse of what the Kingdom of God looks like.

The most shocking part of all is that God offers forgiveness even to the very individual who plotted and carried out one of the worst acts of terrorism ever. No one is too low for God to reach and no one is beyond his love. No one.

So I’m praying for the families of the victims and for those who are suffering with wounds that are more than just physical. I’m praying for God to make this and every other act of evil right.

I’m praying more fervently than ever, “Come, Lord Jesus, come!”

Yet I know that one day someone’s testimony of faith will start out something like “I remember exactly where I was when those bombs went off at the end of the Boston Marathon and when God showed up to me in a very real way.”

PS Interestingly enough, today’s Bible verse of the day on my You Version app was Hebrews 12:1-2: “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

All Those Voices and The Truth

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Maybe you’re like me. Sometimes maybe you get so many voices in your head, it’s hard to tell which ones are genuine and which ones are not. It’s hard to discern your own thoughts from the legion running through your mind.

I firmly believe that one of the enemy’s tricks is to plant thoughts in your mind and make you believe that those are your thoughts. He can take a little bit of the truth, just enough to make it plausible, and mix it with a lie. Kinda like a fisherman baits a hook with enough of a tempting lure to make the fish bite.

I’ve been overwhelmed at times and not known what to believe or which voices to trust. But I’ve come to realize that in those times it’s better to not trust what I think or what I feel, but what I know. That is, what God has revealed to me about himself time and time again.

I know he’s good. I know he’s strong. I know he’s for me. I know he won’t give up on me.

Many times, I’ve fallen back on those truths when the lies seem so very easy to believe. When the old fears of abandonment seem to be coming true before my very eyes and I feel more alone than ever, I have to remember that God is with me.

You never know what you believe until it’s a matter of life or death, when your survival and your sanity depend on it. You never know how strong and good God is until you’re lost and he’s the only one who can find you, when you’re sinking in despair and he’s the only one who can rescue you.

Devils and lies die in the light. They can’t survive when confronted with the very truth of God’s word. So name the lies for what they are. Name where they came from. And declare out loud that Jesus has already defeated that enemy and those lies once and for all.

Most of all, let’s hold each other up in prayer and be strong for those when they can’t be strong for themselves, and believe for those when their faith is too weak. It just takes two or three.

Remember that the Truth as personified in Jesus isn’t just another voice in your head. It’s the Voice that bids all other voices be still the way it bidded the waves to be still. It’s the Voice that will always have the last word.

 

Those Crazy Spider Monkeys!

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monkey

I heard something very interesting about monkeys and coconuts. And no, there’s not a Monty Python joke coming. Or a reference to any Animal Planet show currently airing.

I heard that a way to trap a spider monkey is to drill a hole in a coconut just big enough for its hand to fit in and put food in there. The little monkeys will reach in and grab the food, but with their hands in a fist clutching their prize, they can’t pull it out again.

The end result is either death or capture.

My first reaction is: aren’t those just greedy little monkeys?

My second is: what is so great about what they’re holding onto that they can’t let go?

Then I wonder how many times I’ve been trapped like that by holding onto something I don’t need to. Like a wound from my past. Or maybe a failure I can’t forgive myself for. Or maybe a selfish desire of mine.

Maybe you’re holding onto your idea of how your life should play out. Maybe it’s a relationship that’s toxic and hazardous to your health and your heart. Maybe it’s unforgiveness that keeps you up nights. It could be anything that takes the place of Jesus in your heart. Even good things.

Whatever it is, you can’t move forward until you let it go. You can’t be free unless you release your grasp of whatever it is that you’re white-knuckling.

I’m reminded of a story of a little girl whose father gave her some imitation pearls. She loved those pearls and wore them everywhere. She even slept in them. But one day her dad asked the unthinkable.

“Give me your pearls,” he said.

“No, Daddy. You can have anything else. My dollies, my stuffed animals, but not my pearls.”

So he let it go that night. But he asked again the next night. And the night after that.

Finally, with tears in her eyes, she said, “Yes, Daddy. You can have my pearls.”

With one hand he took the imitation pearls, and with the other he gave her a box containing very real and very expensive pearls. He had been waiting for her to let go of the imitation so she could have the real thing.

What are you holding onto that keeps you from receiving what God has for you? It may be a good thing, but if it keeps you from God’s best, let it go. If it keeps you from full devotion and obedience to Jesus, let it go.

Trust me, what you give up won’t even compare to what you get in compare. Or as a guy named Jim Elliot once said, “He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”

The Seven Stations of the Cross

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stations

 

Tonight, I went to a Prayer Experience at Brentwood Baptist Church. It was about praying through the seven stations of the cross. I know that the Roman Catholic Church has 14, but we’re Baptists, so seven for us is a good start.

I didn’t spend too much time at each station, but just enough to grasp a little more of what the Cross meant for me.

I’ve always known about Jesus dying on the cross to save me, but I guess I never really let myself go there in a really deep and meaningful way. If you do, you find shame and humiliation. You find excruciating pain and suffering. You find the most agony one man has ever endured in the history of mankind.

I became aware that it was my humiliation and shame that Jesus bore. It was my sin that he carried on that cross and it was my death that he died. I should have been up there, nailed to that piece of wood.

I realized for the first time that Jesus doesn’t want my sympathy for what happened to him there. He doesn’t want me to feel sorry for him up there. He wants me. All of me. My heart, my mind, my will, my life, all of it.

Just as Simon of Cyrene picked up Jesus’ cross and carried it for him, I’m called to pick up a cross and carry it. That’s what being a disciple means.

Jesus would have done all of it for me, even if I were the only one in the world who needed it. That thought still astounds me. He loves me that much.

So don’t skim over this part of the story. Allow yourself to go there emotionally and mentally and spiritually. Stand in front of the cross and witness the suffering Savior and grieve with his followers. Watch as he is laid in the tomb. Remember that all of this is for you.

Then you can celebrate Easter Sunday.

I Have T-Shirts Older Than You

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It’s a humbling thing to realize that you’re old. I came to that realization when I found my old t-shirt from high school in the back of my closet. This t-shirt dates back to 1991, my senior year. It’s old enough to vote. I feel old.

But I’m also thankful. I made it this far. A lot of people didn’t. I can’t complain about my age because some people didn’t get the chance to experience their 40’s. Or even 30’s.

It really is all about perspective. I’m not thinking about how much longer I have left. I’m taking each day as a gift and being thankful that I woke up today with all my hair and most of my senses.

Life is good because God is good and God is life.