Choosing to Take That Next First Step

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“I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it” (Cameron Frye, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off)

Sometimes, life is about choosing to participate. I know for years I was a passive observer of all that went on around me until I finally got sick and tired of always feeling left out of things. Then I decided to take one of many first steps. 

Part of taking that almighty first step is letting go of the illusion that you can control the outcome– or anything for that matter. In a dance, you have to learn to trust in your partner and in yourself, but ultimately, you have to step out and hope for the best.

First steps involve stepping out of your comfort zone and what’s familiar into the unknown. It’s asking that girl for a date. It’s applying for that job. It’s moving across the country to start over. It’s stepping all over your pride to confess a wrong that may or may not end a friendship.

The funny thing about first steps is that there’s never just one. Life is full of many first steps. In fact, you’ll never get to the place where you’ve taken your last first step.

You know what I said about letting go of the illusion that you’re in control? Well, part of that means embracing the control of the One who is. I like what I heard someone say: you don’t make Jesus Lord of anything as much as you acknowledge that He’s already Lord of everything. That includes those next steps. That includes all the potential outcomes in your life. That includes you.

There is no greater freedom than surrendering your life to Jesus. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. Only Jesus knows the real you, even more than you know your own self. And He knows what’s best for you. I can say that I’ve learned the hard way many times over that I do not know better than God what I need. Thankfully, He’s a very patient teacher who still continues to remind me by withholding the good that I think I need for the best that He knows I need.

You never know how much one tiny step can affect. My life has been altered and revolutionized by people who will probably never know how much what they did meant to me. And you will probably never know the transforming effect that one tiny random act of kindness or small step of obedience could mean to another.

What you do (or don’t do) affects more than you. You may step out and fall on your face and the world won’t be any worse for it. But no one who did anything great or who made a difference did so by standing still. The world is waiting for people not to turn it upside-down, but to turn it right-side-up again.

Jesus Is Your Peace

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This is just a reminder for those weary and worn ragamuffins who occasionally stray from the road and get lost in the dark from time to time. There’s always a Voice calling your name to lead you back. And the name of that Voice is the Prince of Peace.

When you’re tired and you can’t sleep, Jesus is your peace.

When the one you really like prefers someone else over you, Jesus is your peace.

When your spouse wakes up one morning and decides he or she doesn’t love you anymore and doesn’t want to be married to you anymore, Jesus is your peace.

When a friend whom you trusted hurts you and the wound goes deeper than pain, Jesus is your peace.

When your good intentions get maligned and people ascribe you malicious motives, Jesus is your peace.

When you have a week of Mondays at work and nothing seems to go right, Jesus is your peace.

When you’ve been out of work for months and begin to wonder if you even have anything worth offering to anybody, Jesus is your peace.

When you’re bending over a sick loved one and your only prayers are tears, Jesus is your peace.

When your child hovers between life and death and you are powerless to help, Jesus is your peace

Through whatever storms or calm, joy or sorrow, victory or defeat, gain or loss, Jesus has been, is, and will always be your peace.

Amen.

 

Ramen Noodle Nights

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We had a special promotional handout to give to the good people at Kairos tonight. To raise awareness of Belmont Move-In Day on August 17, we handed out packages of ramen noodles (not to be confused with Roman numerals). For me, seeing one of those brought back so many memories.

For those of you who are sadly uninformed about these marvels, Ramen noodles are a super-cheap food source primarily consumed by the college freshman. Notice I said food source. I did not say food. I’m fairly certain no actual food ingredients are in these noodles. It’s entirely preservatives and GMOs and MSGs and all those other products that are really supposed to be bad for you. The upside is that if you eat these consistently, you probably won’t need botox any time soon.

Sometimes, you want more than Ramen noodles. I’m sure no one ever turned down a porterhouse steak for Ramen noodles. But Ramen noodles do beat nothing. Barely.

Sometimes, you might wish you had a better job and a better living situation. You might dream of driving a newer car that doesn’t have as many quirky noises and “character” i.e. scratches, dents, holes, missing parts, etc.

The upside is that you have a job. You have a place to live. You have a car that gets you places, even though it may not be in style. Part of the eucharisteo lifestyle of thanksgiving and gratitude with joy that I’ve been writing and talking about lately is being thankful for what you do have. Being out of a job for a long period of time makes any job seem better and I am more consciously grateful for the job I have now.

Ramen noodles aren’t something you eat at every meal for the rest of your life. They get you through until you can afford real food. That’s the same for parts of your life. Your time of singleness may seem like it will never end, but it’s just a season where God molds you into the husband or wife who can best serve and cherish and love the spouse He has for you.

Your job and living situation may not be ideal, but God is teaching you to be faithful and diligent in the small things before He will entrust you with more. And remember you woke up today. You got out of bed and walked. You were able to dress yourself and think rationally. There are so many things you take for granted that once you start giving thanks for will open your eyes to how blessed you really are.

I just may have to buy me some Ramen noodles soon. I wonder if they’re still 4 for $1.

 

Things I Love 47: When the World Gets in My Face, I Say, ‘Have a Nice Day’

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“…this counting blessings was the unlocking of the mystery of joy, joy, “the gigantic secret of the Christian,” joy hiding in gratitude … God had used the dare to give me this; led me all he way to give me this, live fully, fully live.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Today, I ran the usual gamut of emotions from “the girl of my dreams is just around the next corner” to “I’m giving up the dating scene and joining a monastery. The truth lies in the middle, though I lean optimistically to the hopeful side. Even on rainy Wednesdays, I can revel in the joy of God’s goodness. I can be thankful for being alive to see eager earth soaking in more rain just as I can yearn for more and more of the presence of Christ that my gratitude and thanksgiving ushers in.

1,461) Another good kind of tired at the end of another working day.

1,462) The fun way Betty Rock does the traffic and weather reports on WAY-FM in the mornings.

1,463) Taking off my socks at the end of the day.

1,464) My Kairos friend’s homemade bread.

1,465) Obnoxiously persistent and persevering hope.

1,466) Those rare moments of genuine undiluted contentment.

1,467) Having a very manageable number of friends on Facebook.

1,468) Still having my memory.

1,469) Still having all ten fingers and all ten toes (even if one pinky is slightly crooked).

1,470) My growing collection of pocket-size Bibles.

1,471) The smell of new leather Bibles.

1,472) Wondering what new features the next iPhone will have on it.

1,473) Not grieving as those who have no hope.

1,474) A little coffee with my creamer and sugar.

1,475) My unique and very unorthodox typing style.

1,476) Being the only person in the entire universe with Spongebob Squarepants hanging from my rearview mirror.

1,477) Anticipating another trip to McKay’s Used Bookstore to trade in some movies.

1,478) Not being broke.

1,479) Words of affirmation in any format, whether spoken, texted, tweeted, posted, messaged, or emailed.

1,480) Getting comments on my blogs.

1,481) People who unfailingly respond to my texts and posts and Facebook messages.

1,482) Being my cat’s favorite pillow.

1,483) Shamelessly plugging my cat’s Facebook fan page at https://www.facebook.com/LucyTheWonderCat?fref=ts.

1,484) Finally being okay with not getting responses from posts and texts and personal messages.

1,485) Not having watched even one second of any of the episodes of The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Big Brother, The Amazing Race, or any of those so-called reality shows.

1,486) Being up to 30,475 views on my blogs.

1,487) Not living in an area affected by drought conditions (at least not this year).

1,488) Being a bit wiser at the end of the day than I was at the end of yesterday.

1,489) Writing letters to my future wife.

1,490) A night of Bible reading, praying, and then sleep.

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A Face to Call Home: Still Another Letter to my Future Wife

Little by little, inch by inch
We built a yard with a garden in the middle of it
It ain’t much but it’s a start
You got me swaying right along to the song in your heart
And a face to call home
A face to call home
You got a face to call home . . . .

So good you didn’t see
The nervous wreck I used to be
You’d never know a man could feel so small
And you never look at me
Like I’m a liability
I bet you think I’ve never been at all

Little by little, inch by inch
We built a yard with a garden in the middle of it
And it ain’t much, but it’s a start
You got me swaying right along to the song in your heart

And a face to call home
A face to call home
You got a face to call home

A face to call home
A face to call home
You got a face to call home

Maybe I could stay a while,
Maybe I could stay a while,
Maybe I could stay a while,
I’m talkin’ like all of the time” (John Mayer).

Here I am again, writing you another letter instead of holding you in my arms. A verse in Proverbs says that a hope deferred makes a heart sick, but a hope deferred is still better than no hope at all. And my hopes are alive, even if the monitors would barely pick up a heartbeat. I still have hope.

I’m seeing more and more of what you’re like and I’m loving it. You have a beauty that’s all your own and you’re probably not even aware of it. It’ll be my job to show you and tell you every single day how beautiful you are and to bring that radiance out of you. You have a smile that makes me weak in the knees and a laugh that warms my heart. I don’t deserve that way you look at me and only me.

If I were to say that I’m up to the task of being a husband and a father, I’d be proving once and for all that I’m not ready. I can say for certain that I’m not up to it– not nearly– but I’ll be calling on all the power of Christ in me if I have any hopes of making us work.

So yet again. I’m praying that you hold on to hope. I’m praying you don’t listen to anyone who tells you how to become their idea of beautiful. Don’t let any man (even me. Especially me) treat you like anything less than a Princess, Child of the King, Beloved, the one Christ thought was to die for. Don’t settle. Don’t compromise. Don’t quit.

I love what I heard while you search for the perfect man, you could be missing the one who’s imperfect but would do anything to make you perfectly happy. I’m praying when the time comes that will be me.

Until then, I love you already and I can’t wait to meet you.

Your future husband (and still another Ragamuffin who’s living his miracle).

Greg

 

A Week in the Life of a Big Pimpin’ Blogger

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So, you ask, what’s been going on in the very exciting and adventurous life of one Greg Johnson? I couldn’t be more glad you asked. The answer? Not much.

Well, I’ll let you decide. Thursday, I made yet another pilgrimage to McKay’s Used Books, CDs, DVDs, and Just about Anything Else Electronically That You Can Imagine. I traded in about 100 old CDs for an iPad 2 and season 4 of Lost.

Friday, I went to the mall a.k.a. Cool Springs Galleria to buy my friend Lara a wedding present and to do my usual scoping out of any new stores. I found a gift for my friend and registered to win a 2013 Mini Cooper. My odds are 1 in a million, which might tempt some others not to even bother, but I figure if I don’t try, my odds are exactly 0 in a million. So why not?

Today, I attended my friend’s wedding. It was beautiful and she was radiant. There was a magnificent stained glass window and a church organ that would raise the dead and make them weep for joy. Yeah, that kind.

They had a swing dance band at the reception and the usual awesome post-wedding food where the calories don’t count. I wish. I ate, I danced, I ate some more, then they served dinner. It was a good night.

I’d love to win that car. I’ve even prayed about it (as selfish as that sounds). But if some other blessed soul wins, I’ll be just as content to drive my ’95 Jeep Cherokee with its 18 MPG in the city and 190 horsepower engine. Yeah, I’m a big pimpin’ daddy in my slick ride with my newly added Spongebob ornament hanging from my rearview mirror.

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All that to say I’m still more blessed than I deserve (even if it feels lately that I’ve been friend-zoned for all eternity by every female who has ever lived. But that’s another topic for another blog).

And I typed all this on my new (at least to me) iPad 2. Woot!

Facing Your Fear

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I have an embarrassing confession. Well, it may not seem so embarrassing to you, but it was to me. At least until today.

I had never jumped off a diving board into the deep end of a swimming pool.

There. It’s out there.

I had always stayed near the shallow end of the pool. Ever since a few traumatic (at least to me) experiences with swimming and diving boards, I had a fear of the deep end of the pool.

I distinctly remember being in a group of kids who were in some kind of class or something where we learned to swim. The one part I didn’t like was where the lady instructor wanted us to jump off the diving board into the deep end. I wasn’t having any part of that.

I remember my way of getting back at her was deliberately peeing in her pool. I know it doesn’t make sense now, but it did to my 8-year old mind.

Today for the first time, I dove off the diving board. It wasn’t a gold medal dive. Or silver. Not even aluminum. It probably wasn’t even a dive even in the loosest sense of the word. But I went from the diving board into the pool. That’s gotta count for something.

What are you afraid of? Is it a conversation you’ve put off having? Is it asking that girl (or guy) out on a date? Is it taking a risk on a new career or a new city?

It may be as simple as trying new foods or diving into swimming pools. All I know is that there is great freedom in facing your fear head on and finding out it wasn’t nearly so big and bad as you had always thought.

That’s the way with fear. All bark and no bite. All talk and no game. Fear is a lie, pure and simple, that the perfect love of Jesus drives out every single time.

Fear has no place alongside of faith in a believer. And I don’t mean how much you believe in Jesus as much as how much He believes in you and roots for you and fights for you and intercedes for you.

I don’t know why I was ever afraid. I’m sure that lady would have caught me when I dove in. I’m just as sure that whenever I take a leap of faith in any situation, I will either learn to fly or fall into the loving arms of my Abba Father.

As Ann Voskamp said, “All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends.”

And the love of a Father for His children knows no end. Period.

 

Things I Love 41: The Beat Goes On

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“When service is unto people, the bones can grow weary, the frustration deep. Because, agrees Dorothy Sayers, “whenever man is made the center of things, he becomes the storm-center of trouble. The moment you think of serving people, you begin to have a notion that other people owe you something for your pains…You will begin to bargain for reward, to angle for applause… When the eyes of the heart focus on God, and the hands on always washing the feet of Jesus alone – the bones, they sing joy and the work returns to it’s purest state: eucharisteo. The work becomes worship, a liturgy of thankfulness. “The work we do is only our love for Jesus in action” writes Mother Theresa. “If we pray the work…if we do it to Jesus, if we do it for Jesus, if we do it with Jesus… that’s what makes us content.” Deep joy is always in the touching of Christ – in whatever skin He comes to us in” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

I saw a friend from high school today that I hadn’t seen since my 20 year reunion. She and her husband and kids live just outside of Chicago, so it’s not like I can just hop in the car and run across town to see her anymore. But that makes days like today all the more precious, because it’s like we picked up where we left off, like no time at all had passed. That’s how it is with good friends. So, on that note, I pick up at #1,241.

1,241) Spending time with a good friend from high school and catching up on everything.

1,242) Finally walking away (literally at swing dancing tonight) from a relationship that wasn’t any good for me.

1,243) Walking to my car in the rain after swing dancing tonight at Centennial Park.

1,244) My bike that I’ve been intending to ride all summer but haven’t gotten around to yet (but I will).

1,245) Not being in a hurry all the time.

1,246) Knowing that there will be no more cancer or Alzheimer’s or dementia or sickness of any kind in heaven.

1,247) Collecting little ceramic churches (kinda like the Thomas Kinkade churches but not as nice or expensive).

1,248) Starting my job a week from Monday.

1,249) The moment when I surrender my plans and say to God, Your will be done.”

1,250) Clean underwear.

1,251) Not having paparazzi following me all the time. Or ever.

1,252) Having 30 more views on my blog  today.

1,253) Finding loose change in my pockets.

1,254) Keeping my eyes on the prize instead of on my obstacles.

1,255) Quoting lines from movies at opportune moments.

1,256) That tramps like us, baby we were born to run (according to Mr. Springsteen).

1,257) The Message translation.

1,258) Going to bed after I finish this particular blog.

1,259) Looking forward to Things I Love 42, whenever that may be.

1,260) Keeping a $2 bill in my wallet for luck.

1,261) Realizing how much I’ve grown up and in grace in the last few years.

1,262) 10,000 reasons to worship.

1,263) Lots of good music coming out and me finally having a job to buy these albums.

1,264) Being reminded yet again that the best things in life really are free.

1,265) My collection of Muppet finger puppets.

1,266) Checking the “This post is super-awesome” box every time after I finish a post. And not really taking it too seriously.

1,267) Reading about a former porn star who’s now a believer.

1,268) I Am Second.

1.269) God is first.

1,270) Old rotary phones.

Things I Love 40: The Farewell Tour a la The Eagles and the Rolling Stones

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“The cynics, they can only speak of the dark, of the obvious, and this is not hard. For all it’s supposed sophistication, it’s cynicism that’s simplistic. In a fallen world, how profound is to see the cracks?

The sages and prophets, the disciples and revolutionaries, they are the ones up on the ramparts, up on the wall pointing to the dawn of the new Kingdom coming, pointing to the light that breaks through all things broken, pointing to redemption always rising and to the Blazing God who never sleeps” (Ann Voskamp).

This may or may not be the last of the series. Ok, probably not. These are just too much fun to quit entirely. Even if you don’t blog and actually have a life, I recommend writing down all the things you’re thankful for. Not just the big things, but the little things like morning dew on the grass or butterflies lighting on flowers. You can steal mine if you like. Ideas, not butterflies. Starting at #1,211.

1,211) Those purple flowers that I can’t remember the name of.

1,212) Friends who speak the truth in love when I need to hear it and stick around after I’ve royally made a mess of things.

1,213) That messing up doesn’t mean the end of the world.

1,214) Being defined by the love of my Abba.

1,215) Finally believing that I will be a good husband and father one day.

1,216) God never ceasing to amaze and delight me whenever I have sense enough to stop and pay attention.

1,217) Chocolate in all its many glorious forms.

1,218) The way God speaks to me where I am and always knows where to find me.

1,219) Men and women who sacrifice their lives protecting the freedom that I so casually take for granted so often.

1,220) Me finding and living out my very own brand of awesome almost every single day.

1,221) Finally trying a Granny Smith apple just to say I’ve eaten one (and Oh my Lord, they’re tart).

1,222) For July days when the high temperature is 84.

1,223) For the chicken cobb avocado salad at Panera Bread on Old Hickory Blvd in front of Target.

1,224) That I care less what other people think of me and much more of what God thinks of me.

1,225) That there is absolutely nothing that will separate me from God’s love, nothing he hasn’t overcome by the cross, and nothing that he can turn into something beautiful and glorious.

1,226) When I can borrow from other posts and hopefully you won’t notice.

1,227) The Wilson County Fair coming up in August.

1,228) Having a full tank of gas in my Jeep.

1,229) Reading The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (my favorite of the Narnia books) yet again.

1,230) Promoting my friends’ music or books or art or causes.

1,231) That my last name isn’t Weiner.

1,232) Advancing to level 63 in Candy Crush Saga.

1,233) Finding an extra large box of Cocoa Pebbles at Publix for $1,50.

1,234) The number 1,234 (’cause it’s in order).

1,235) All, 721 of my facebook friends.

1,236) Still having all ten fingers and all ten toes.

1,237) Burl Ives singing “Silver and Gold.”

1,238) Learning to think for myself and not be spoon-fed by the media or talking heads (either conservative or liberal).

1,239) Being able to simplify my life by getting rid of books and CDs I won’t ever listen to or read again.

1,240) People who know how to use “your”, “you’re”, “to”, “too”, and “two” correctly.

Aw heck. You might as well count on there being at least one more of these.

Things I Love 39: If It’s Not Fine, It’s Not the End

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“The joy of small that makes life large. Hadn’t I personally experienced it before too, that vantage point that gave a sense of smallness before grandeur? At the tip of the Grand Canyon, peering into the carved earth, the vastness of the hewn and many-hued chasm. A late June night peering into the expanse of heavens nailed up with the named and known stars. A moon field. I hardly dare brush the limitlessness with my vaporous humanity. But the irony: Don’t I often desperately want to wriggle free of the confines of a small life? Yet when I stand before immensity that heightens my smallness – I have never felt sadness. Only burgeoning wonder.” (Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are).

Most of what I’m thankful for are the small things that most others take for granted. Or things that remind me of how small I am in the grand scheme of things. Truly, some of the best things in life come in small packages (like the feline package curled up and asleep in my lap as I write these words. So, starting at #1,176, this journey of thanksgiving continues.

1,176) Even the possibility of a Friends TV show reunion.

1,177) Just under 11 pounds of sleeping fur in my lap.

1,178) That to live is Christ and to die is gain– the best win-win ever.

1,179) Fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches at The Arcade in Memphis, TN.

1,180) The feeling of finally having a job after 14 months without one.

1,181) Seeing my prayers for a job answered.

1,182) A blue sky filled with white clouds.

1,183) Another Kairos Night of Worship coming up next Tuesday.

1,184) The songs of birds on a sunny day.

1,185) My friend Erica Grant’s smile.

1,186) Not feeling the need to be anyone else but myself.

1,187) Knowing that at any moment people are praying for me.

1,188) A momma deer with her baby.

1,189) That huge feeling of relief when I paid off the last of my student loans.

1,190) The freedom that comes with truly forgiving someone.

1,191) Wednesday being “hump daaaay!”

1,192) Icy Hot on a sore muscle.

1,193) Finally having a little bit of a tan on my legs so they’re not so ghastly white anymore.

1,194) “Living the dream,” as my friend Michael Boggs puts it.

1,195) The extended prayer times at Kairos.

1,196) Getting free tickets to Titans games.

1,197) Scrolling through friends’ homepages and seeing all their photos (but not in a stalker kind of way).

1,198) Imagining the things my cat would say if she spoke human.

1,199) Just about any vehicle that is over 50 years old.

1,200) Posting about my new job and already having 40 likes and 6 comments.

1,201) Watermelon (especially after reading all the amazing health benefits).

1,202) The fruit tea at Calypso Cafe.

1,2o3) That another episode of Friends starts in 15 minutes.

1,204) Newborn puppies and kittens.

1,205) Muting an annoying commercial.

1,206) Having caller ID to avoid the telemarketers.

1,207) Those rare movies where the nerd gets the pretty girl at the end.

1,208) Adding stuff to my amazon.com wish-list.

1,209) Bringing a smile to a total stranger’s face.

1,210) Knowing that there will be at least one more of these Things I Love posts.