dating

More About the Whole Waiting Business

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

If you’ve ever had to wait for something you wanted, you know how hard it can be.

If you’ve ever been through the process of looking for a job and felt one door after another slamming in your face, you know how discouraging it can feel and begin to doubt yourself a little.

Or maybe you’ve been waiting for that right person for what seems like forever and you’re beginning to think they will never come, you know how sick of heart you can get.

There is nothing that God makes you wait for that won’t be worth it. The fact that it’s taking him this long must mean it’s really good. After all, he did create the whole world in 7 days, so if he’s taking longer than that with your life, you know the result will be spectacular.

The easy thing to do is to give up on yourself, on others, and on God. Don’t.

The hard thing to do is keep trusting, keep believing, and keep holding on to the promise that God always finishes what he starts.

But nothing worthwhile was ever easy. Nothing that matters comes without effort and sweat and blood and tears. Just ask Jesus about what that feels like.

If you can’t trust your whole future to God, just trust him for the next 24 hours and see what happens.

I have to remind myself of a few things because I’m so forgetful and prone to worry.

1) God is good. All the time.

2) God hasn’t forgotten you or where you are.

3) God will complete the good work he started in you.

May we not only learn to wait, but to wait well and expectantly.

 

 

Immanuel: For All Those Times

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Immanuel is God with us, in the flesh, walking alongside of us, sharing our burdens and joys and sorrows, even now. The Kingdom of God isn’t just some faraway pie-in-the-sky somewhere-over-the-rainbow place for when we die, it’s the presence of God in our midst at this very moment.

For when you’re at a party and you feel alone in the crowd, unnoticed and unwanted, Jesus is there with you.

For when you’re interested in someone and just realized that they aren’t the least bit interested in you in the same way (and probably never will be), Jesus knows what you’re feeling.

For when you feel like you’re not that high up on anybody’s priority list and they’d probably rather be hanging out with their cooler, artsier friends than you, Jesus chose you because he wanted you, not because you were all that was left. He picked you.

For when you’re in a season of trial and your friends seem to be growing more distant and less friendly, Jesus is still the friend who sticks closer than a brother. You realize that they’re too busy dealing with their own pain to fully notice yours and know the same Jesus who is with you in your pain is with them in theirs.

For when you have a story to tell but no one is listening and no one seems to want to hear it at all, Jesus, the one who wrote your story and knows it by heart, is listening.

For when you’ve come to the absolute end of your rope and have completely run out of hope, Jesus is right in front of you, saying “Just take one more step toward me. Just give me the tiniest bit of what’s left of your faith, and I’ll get you through.”

For when you can’t tell the lies and fears from reality, when you know what you’re thinking isn’t true or even sane but think it anyway, Jesus is still the Life, the Truth, and the Way. He’s still your life, your ultimate truth, and the way for you to get back home.

You’ll find one day that you can be in a group and not have to have the attention all the time.

You’ll find one day that when that someone you’re interested in finds their true love, you can sincerely rejoice for them.

You’ll find one day that the place God brings you to was worth all he brought you through and you’d go through all of it again to be at this amazing new place.

You’ll find one day that you can’t hear the lies anymore and the fears disappear as you grow in God’s love and learn to hear his still small voice speaking to you.

Even then, he is still Immanuel. God with us. God with me. God with you.

“But We Had Hoped . . . “

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despair

“And we had our hopes up that he was the One, the One about to deliver Israel” (Luke 24:21).

I know you know what it’s like to have your hopes dashed yet again.

Maybe you thought a certain person was the one, but it turned out that he wasn’t interested in you like that or she only wanted to be friends.

Maybe you invested in a friendship and found out that you weren’t nearly as high on the other person’s list of priorities. Or maybe that other person saw some of your flaws and decided you just weren’t worth the effort anymore.

Maybe you felt confident after a really good job interview only to discover the company went with someone else they felt was a “better fit.”

Maybe you gave your time and energy and talent to a company for so many years only to find yourself on the receiving end of a pink slip with the words that went something like “we had to make some cutbacks somewhere.”

Maybe you’re at the place where it’s easier not to hope anymore. Where it’s easier not to open up to anyone or trust anyone beyond a surface level anymore. Where it’s easier and safer to give up on your dreams than risk the possibility of more disappointment and heartache.

Just like those two disciples, maybe you and I have gotten so wrapped up in ourselves that we miss who it is that’s walking alongside of us. We’ve missed his comforting words. Don’t you see him yet?

It’s Jesus.

I love what I heard a pastor say recently that went something like this: “Aren’t you glad that at the greatest hour of need that God didn’t send a text or a skype invite? He sent Jesus.”

Jesus has come to hear your story and then connect it with his. Not that he’ll be surprised by anything you tell him. He already knows what you’ve been through, even the ugly parts you would never tell another living soul. And he loves you.

He’ll stick around when friends bail, when spouses leave, when children don’t want to come around anymore. He’ll love you even when you can’t find the strength to love yourself.

Tonight, I’m more thankful for Jesus than ever. I know that when I’m feeling overwhelmed by negative thinking and feelings of abandonment, he’s speaking peace into my chaos. He’s whispering truth over the lies I’m believing.

And he won’t ever leave me.

The Ebb and Flow of Life

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It seems like every area of life has an ebb and flow.

When you’re out looking for a job, one minute you feel like you’re the most talented person out there and could handle any type of job and the next you feel like you don’t have any skills and are basically unhireable.

Or maybe you’re out in the wacky world of dating. Maybe one day you feel good about yourself and your looks and feel confident in your chances. The next day you might feel like no one will ever be attracted to you and you will die single, dateless, and alone.

It could be that in general you have moments where you feel that everything in your life will work out fine and you feel optimistic about your future. Then the next time around you feel like you’re doomed to a series of failures and disappointments.

As with most politics and theology, the truth is somewhere in the middle. You can acknowledge these feelings, but don’t let them run your life or you will be all over the map. Literally. The truth is that your circumstances are usually not as rosy or as bleak as you think they are. You’re not God’s gift to the opposite sex or a leper. You probably won’t go through life with a 100% success or 100% failure rating, but you’ll have a bit of both.

For me, when I get caught up in the ebb and flow of emotions, I’ve learned not to try to deny the feelings or suppress them, but take them to God. I admit that while these feelings seem true, God is truer than any feelings. While feelings are fickle and changeable, God remains the same forever.

I’ve always liked the old saying that goes something like this: work like it’s all up to you and pray like it’s all up to God. In other words, faith means acting on what you believe and going for what God is calling you to, because faith is an active verb.

So keep trusting God when life seems great and when life sucks. Keep praying when you feel like it and when you don’t, when every prayer is answered affirmatively and when your prayers don’t seem to get past the ceiling. Keep asking, seeking, and knocking, regardless of circumstances.

Maybe I’ll take some of my own advice for once.

 

 

Storms

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

This is like one of those albums you buy where there’s a disclaimer that reads something like “all songs previously released. In other words, I’m not saying anything new.

I heard recently that there are three kinds of people: those in a storm, those coming out of a storm, and those fixin’ to get ready (as we say in the South) to head into a storm.

No one is exempt. Storms come to the just and the unjust, to the houses built on solid foundations as well as those built on sand.
What matters in a storm is being ready, because when the time comes, you won’t have time to get ready. You’ll have to be ready.

What does being ready look like?
I think it means you have Jesus in your boat.

I’m pretty sure when my storm comes I’ll be freaking out like the disciples did and telling Jesus to wake up so we can die together.

But Jesus has a way of speaking peace over the storms. And even when he doesn’t calm the storm, he calms his child in the storm.

I’d like to take credit for all that, but it’s not original to me. I’ve heard or read it all before. But these blogs are often reminders for me as much as they are for you.

So I can take credit for about two percent of this blog. It’s a good thing I’m not having to use footnotes.

Just remember he who is in you is greater than whatever’s out there, including storms.

To All the Wallflowers in the World

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perks

I finally broke down and rented The Perks of Being a Wallflower from Redbox. In case you were wondering, that was the infamous movie that I had a ticket for the night I got hit by that car in downtown Franklin. Yeah, that was the movie I missed. Well, I finally saw it, almost two months later.

One line really struck me. “We accept the love we think we deserve.”

I had always wondered why I saw nice, pretty girls who always seemed to date guys who struck me as obnoxious, loud jerks. I wondered why they did that when there were nice guys (like me) available.

You could argue that most of the nice guys (again like me) never got up the nerve to ask out the nice, pretty girls. But I do think that people who don’t think much of themselves will settle for relationships that aren’t the best for them.

In case you’re wondering if this is going to be yet another blog on dating, it’s not.

I wonder how many of us really know our own worth. We tend to repeatedly replay every minor criticism and downplay every compliment out of a false modesty that really isn’t modest at all. If you and I are honest, we don’t think much of ourselves most of the time and we project that on to how we perceive others to not like us or acknowledge us.

Maybe you think nobody ever sees you or feels your pain or even cares that you’re hurting. Maybe you wonder why you bother getting up in the morning only to spend the entire day being overlooked and ignored by everyone around you.

Let me remind you that God thought you worth loving. Well, let me rephrase that. God chose to love you because he wanted to and in loving you, he made you lovable and worth loving. Maybe that only makes sense if you’re tired and still awake after midnight, but there it is.

God formed you with his own hands, breathed his own breath into you, and called you very good. You are made in the image of God and there is no one else exactly like you. You are God’s poem, his masterpiece, his workmanship.

So whenever you are tempted in any way to settle for less than God’s very best, remember that you are worth loving because God said so. And anybody who says or acts otherwise doesn’t deserve you.

 

Reminders That Life Really Is Good

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 5 Comments

I woke up today to snow on the ground. To those living above the Mason-Dixon line, that may not be a big deal, but it is for this guy living way down in Tennessee. It may not have lasted, but it was pretty.

I may not have everything I want in life, but I do have everything I need. I am still so very blessed.

One of my friends is getting re-baptized at her church. I plan on being there to celebrate and rejoice in this brave step of obedience on her part. I love seeing how God has been working in the lives of family and friends lately. It’s a good reminder for me that those prayers of mine really are getting past the ceiling. James writes that the prayers of the righteous are powerful and effective. I do know that they work.

I’ve learned over time that real maturity is seeing God bless someone else and being happy. Even if that person gets something you’ve wanted but not received, you can still choose to be happy for him or her. I’ve been envious and bitter in the past about such people, but I’m learning to rejoice for them. I think there’s hope for me yet.

I keep thinking that one day this little blog of mine will explode and start raking in thousands of readers. Maybe. Maybe not. But I’m thankful for those who take the time to read my ramblings when there are so many other things competing for their time and attention.

God is good, all the time. Not just when I feel that he is good. Not when I feel he’s doing right by me. All the time. That’s 24/7.

Just so you know, if you ask me to pray for you about something, I do. If you ask me to pray for a loved one, I will. Keep reminding me that life is good and that God is good, because I forget early and often. I’ll try to do the same for you. Deal?

 

The First Letter to My Future Wife in 2013

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I have a confession to make to you. I actually gave up on you for a little while. I gave up hope that I would ever meet you. But now I have hope again.

It may the tiniest bit of hope, but it’s there. It may not always be visible, but it’s strong enough to hold on to. I will never give up believing in you and praying for you until the day I meet you.

At this rate, we may both be 80-something and senile, but we’ll have fun– at least for a little while.

Don’t give up on me either. Don’t quit praying for me as I won’t give up praying for you. May we both commit to growing closer to Jesus and by that way grow closer to each other. May your first desire not be to find me, but to seek after and hold on to and treasure Jesus for all he’s worth. May that be my first desire, too.

I’ll be honest. Right now, meeting you seems like an impossibility, humanly speaking. But I believe that God is at his best at making the impossible possible. So I keep hoping. And praying. And waiting.

I pray that I don’t find you until I’m ready to love you like I’m supposed to love you. Like Jesus loved his bride and laid down his life for her. Like he will call me to love you when I meet you.

Until then, my hope is secure in the only place that can’t be shaken. It’s in God himself. I pray yours is, too.

 

 

Good Memories

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uu

For some odd reason, I had a strong craving for some chicken tetrazzini yesterday. It’s not a dish you can get just anywhere. In fact, the last time I had this was probably almost 18 years ago in my last semester at Union University.

I still miss that place and the people there. Well, most of the people I knew there have long since moved on. I’d guess that I wouldn’t know more than five people currently on campus. If that.

Even the campus is different. Even before a tornado struck the campus, Union was already undergoing major renovations. Now, the campus is almost completely different than when I went there. But I guarantee that the moment I step on to the campus, all sorts of good memories would come rushing back.

I was not a ladies’ man at Union. Despite the 5-to-1 ratio of girls to guys, I had no luck. But I made some friendships that changed my life. I saw people who modeled the faith in a way that made it relevant and exciting and fun. People who wanted to hang out with me.

It took a long time to pay off those student loans. But it was so much more than worth it to me for the good times and good friends I made.

Some times, I wish I could step back into one of those memories and relive it. To be able to smell the scent of spring on its way and see the face of people I haven’t seen in years. To hear the old jokes and stories again.

Some friends I’ve kept up with, some I’ve reconnected with recently. Some I’ve lost touch with. But I’m grateful for them all.

If you’re a high school senior or junior looking for a college where you won’t feel lost in the crowd, then check out Union. There I was challenged both academically and spiritually. There I learned to put feet on my faith and walk it out.

I know I’ve probably said this before, but to all my old Union friends, thank you for making my time there so wonderful. I am who I am now because of you.

 

 

In Search of Boaz and Ruth in the 21st Century (Yet Another Blog About Singleness)

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I had a good friend commenting on how she couldn’t find any men who fit the role of Boaz in the Bible. I have to agree. Not too many godly men stepping up and taking charge spiritually. There are lots of guys out there, but not nearly as many real men.

Then again, as a single guy, I have a hard time finding Ruths. There aren’t too many women pursuing godliness with a passion these days. As before, there are a lot of girls out there, but not too many real godly women.

Then I got to thinking on the way home. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I’m not finding my Ruth because I’m not trying consistently to be a Boaz. I’m all for godliness and holiness when it’s convenient and cheap, but not so much when it takes time and costs me something.

If I’m looking for certain qualities in a mate, I need to have those showing in my own life. Or at least I need to be developing those characteristics. I can’t expect kindness in a future mate if I don’t show it myself. I can’t expect deep spirituality if I am shallow when it comes to the things of God.

I think this applies to married people as well. You can’t expect your spouse to be something you’re not willing to be. You have to own up to your part and change yourself before you demand change from your husband or wife.

I know I have a lot of work to do before I can call myself a godly man. Sometimes, it seems like an impossible task and I feel like I will never get there. But God is best at taking the impossible and making it reality.

So before you point the finger at the opposite sex, make sure you look in the mirror first and find out if you need to get your priorities right first. That’s all.