compassion

A Prayer for Humility and Sincerity in our Faith

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“We long for a humble and sincere faith in our divine Lord. Lord, if it is necessary to break our hearts in order that we may have it, then let them be broken.If we have to unlearn a thousand things to learn the sweet secret of faith in him, let us become fools that we may be wise, only bring us surely and really to stand upon the Rock of Ages—so to stand there as never to fall, but to be kept by the power of God, through faith, unto salvation.
As Christians, we should be humble. Lord take away our proud look; take away the spirit of ‘stand by, for I am holier than thou;‘ make us condescend to people of low morals. May we seek them out and seek their good. Give to the church of Christ an intense love for the souls of men. May it make our hearts break to think that they will perish in their sin. May we grieve every day because of the sin of this city. Set a mark upon our forehead and let us be known to you as people who sigh and cry for all the abominations that are done in the midst of the city.
Amen” (Charles Spurgeon).

Lord, make us humble in our relations to others and to You. Keep us sincere as we seek Your face and serve our brothers and sisters in Christ. May our compassion never cancel out our convictions nor our convictions cancel our compassion.

Jesus, just as You told the woman caught in the act of adultery that He didn’t condemn her, so may our hearts be far from judging with an eye to condemn. And just as You told her to go and sin no more, may we also be zealous to stir one another to holiness in all our words and deeds.

Help us to love with a holy love that seeks nothing less than the best from the beloved, just as You settle for nothing less in us than for us to be made like Christ in every aspect of our lives. Amen.

Showing the Way Out

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When your brain is french toast, sometimes it’s good to let someone else take over. In this case, it’s Uncle Mikey, a reference that us old Kairos faithful will understand while the rest of the world calls him Dr. Mike Glenn:

“I’ve long joked that sympathy is overrated. When things are going bad for me, I really don’t want someone to tell me they know how I feel. I want someone to come and say, “Yes, I know how you feel and I know the way out.”

I think we forget how completely sin messes up our lives. Sin not only messes up our lives, it messes up the way our minds and bodies work. Ever talked to people trying to justify their addiction? In their minds, they’re making complete sense. That’s what happens. Sin destroys relationships, bodies, minds, and souls.

That’s why telling someone what they’re doing is wrong without offering to help them get out of it is, well, pretty much a waste of time. You may feel better, but the person you’re talking to won’t. What’s more, they’ll probably just get mad and walk away, more committed to their destructive choices.

Jesus shows us another way. First, Jesus never confronted anybody without giving that person a way out. The religious leaders of the day, Jesus pointed out, were quick to make a lot of rules but never helped anyone keep them. Jesus would always point the person to the way out of bondage.

Second, Jesus walked with sinners as they found their way. The scandal of the incarnation is that God loves us so much that He came into our world. He walked into our lives and told us if we’d follow Him, He’d show us the way home.

Whenever I talk about abortion, I always mention our partnership with Hope Clinic, a crisis pregnancy center in Nashville. I always want people to know there are people eager and ready to help, no matter what situation they’re facing.

Since the beginning of time, God has been on a Divine rescue mission. We, the local church, are extensions of that work. Finding the lost is great, but telling them the way home—and then walking it with them—is even better” (Dr. Mike Glenn).

Mountains of Spices

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“In acceptance lieth peace,
O my heart be still;
Let thy restless worries cease
And accept His will.
Though this test be not thy choice,
It is His—therefore rejoice.

In His plan there cannot be
Aught to make thee sad:
If this is His choice for thee,
Take it and be glad.
Make from it some lovely thing
To the glory of thy King.

Cease from sighs and murmuring,
Sing His loving grace,
This thing means thy furthering
To a wealthy place.
From thy fears He’ll give release,
In acceptance lieth peace” (Hannah Hurnard, Mountains of Spices).

For the unfamiliar, Hannah Hurnard was a missionary to what is now the state of Israel. She also did a bit of writing, including two allegorical novels that reference the Song of Solomon as well as the fruit of the Spirit and other biblical references. They’re both great.

In the first one, Hinds’ Feet on High Places, the story is the journey of Much Afraid and her journey to the Kingdom of Love in the High Places. The second is how she went back to try to reach some of her relatives with the same love she had received.

One phrase I took with me was acceptance with joy. That’s the key. To accept the good and the bad, not begrudgingly but with joy, is the secret to peace in the midst of turmoil. That does NOT mean that we celebrate tragedy or calamity but that we see God working even the worst into something good. We know that God uses pain and suffering as the means to make us more like the Good Shepherd and give us compassion for others who are hurting so that they can know the same love we have found.

There’s a kind of wisdom that only comes from trials and tempests. The wisest people are often the ones who have seen the most loss and grief and pain, yet have chosen joy and acceptance over bitterness and cynicism. These people are the ones who can save you from a lot of heartache if you will only listen to their hard-won advice.

Lord, make us Your servants who share the name Acceptance with Joy. Help us to see the joy that lies beyond the sorrow and the hope that lies beyond grief. Help us keep our eyes fixed firmly on You, the only author and perfecter of our faith. Amen.

Convictions and Compassion

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“Having Christian convictions can’t ever negate having Christ’s compassion” (Ann Voskamp).

It’s not a case of either/or. It’s both.

In today’s culture, there are those on one side who let their compassion override their convictions. They preach tolerance (except for those who happen to disagree with them) and teach that loving people means loving their sin.

On the other side of the fence, there are people whose convictions have turned them into people who not only need to be proven right but everyone else must have their faces rubbed in the fact that they’re wrong.

If you truly follow Jesus, you’ll have both. Jesus said to the woman caught in adultery “Neither do I condemn you” with compassion, but He also told her “Go and sin no more” with conviction. Yes, Jesus loved sinners and ate with tax collectors and prostitutes, but He loved them into repentance and transformation. When He ascended into heaven, they weren’t sinners, tax collectors, and prostitutes anymore. They were devoted disciples living a new way of justice and holiness.

Remember, it’s not either/or. It’s both/and. God was compassionate toward you while you were a sinner far from grace but He still calls you through conviction to repent and turn to Jesus in faith.

The Woman at the Well

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“Drink this water, and your thirst is quenched only for a moment. You must return to this well again and again. I offer water that will become a wellspring within you that gives life throughout eternity. You will never be thirsty again” (John 4:13-14, The Voice).

It seems to me that there are presently two popular schools of thought when it comes to those who err. One school says that you’re a rotten, filthy, dirty sinner who deserves whatever comes your way. The other says in essence, “I’m okay; you’re okay.”

When I think about the woman at the well in John 4, I think she might bristle at both. She knew she’d messed up, but she was probably hoping from a little more sympathy plus a shot at redemption. As for the “I’m okay, you’re okay” way of thinking, she’d probably point out the fact that she came to draw water during the hottest part of the day to plainly state that she was not okay.

I heard a sermon today where the pastor said Jesus showed both compassion and conviction toward the woman.

He showed compassion in that He went out of His way to speak to the woman and actually engage her in conversation that was more than just about the weather.

He also showed conviction when He wouldn’t let her evade His questions and steer the conversation away from the uncomfortable. While He showed love toward the woman, that love didn’t include enabling her in behavior that wasn’t God’s best for her.

I found that quite convicting. Who will I go out of my way to speak to this week? Who will I show love toward (and not just the warm fuzzy kind, but the kind that is willing to ask the hard questions)?

As for me, I’m thankful that Jesus was willing to love me where He found me and accept me as I was. I’m equally grateful that His love refused to let me stay in that place.

I’m thankful as usual for a pastor in Aaron Bryant who doesn’t always tell me what I want to hear, but will always share what I need to hear, especially on my birthday.

 

Listening with Soft Eyes

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I heard someone use an intriguing expression today in a conversation. She talked about empathetic listening and used the expression “listen with soft eyes.”

If you take it literally, it sounds kind of stupid. Of course, people listen with their ears, not their eyes. But when you take into account that 90% of communication is nonverbal, it starts to make more sense.

Most of us (me emphatically included) tend to listen not to hear but to respond. All the while the other is speaking, we’re coming up with the perfect retort to win the argument or the perfect solution to fix the other’s problem.

To me, listening with soft eyes means listening with compassion. It means I don’t try to fix the way you feel– even if it seems irrational and counterproductive to me. It’s me saying, “I know what you’re going through is hard and I know you must feel scared or tired or frustrated. I’ve felt like that lots of times before.”

Real listening is an art form that takes practice. Especially if you have a flighty attention span like me. You have to train yourself to listen not to just words being spoken but to facial expressions, tone of voice, body language, etc.

I confess that while I like to think I’m a good listener, many times I am anything but. I can get distracted and lose the train of the conversation and walk away without any clue about what the other person was saying.

I think a lot of us do that. It’s happened to a lot of us. And it’s frustrating when you know you’re not being heard. Truly heard.

So one of my Second Half of 2015 Resolutions is to work on listening better. Being a better friend, husband, wife, lover, father, mother, son, daughter, or anything else starts by being a better listener.

So, I’m learning to listen with soft eyes.

 

Compassion and Broken Hearts

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“Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies, healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. “What a huge harvest!” he said to his disciples. “How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!” (Matt. 9:35-38).

Jesus looked at the crowd and was moved with compassion. I heard a pastor say that the word carries the idea of being kicked in the gut. In other words, it wasn’t a shallow “I feel sorry for you” sentiment, but a real gut-wrenching pain over the people who were “confused and aimless.”

When was the last time my heart broke over something like that? When ever did my heart break like that?

Then I think that Jesus’ heart broke over me. In those times when I feel like I don’t have a clue, I think maybe it still does. I believe Jesus is moved with compassion over those of us who lose our way and feel like we or what we do don’t matter.

I truly believe that Jesus knows more than anyone what it’s like to have a broken heart. Not just figuratively, but literally. When the spear pierced His side, blood and water rushed out. That meant that Jesus’ heart had exploded. So yes, Jesus knows the pain of a broken heart.

My prayer is for a heart like His. My prayer is for a heart that really and truly breaks over those around me who are confused and aimless and without hope. I want a broken heart that leads me to my knees in prayer for the people in my immediate circle who are lost and hopeless and completely discouraged.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Vulgar Grace: Final Thoughts on All is Grace

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brennan1

“My life is a witness to vulgar grace — a grace that amazes as it offends. A grace that pays the eager beaver who works all day long the same wage as the grinning drunk who shows up at ten till five. A grace that hikes up the robe and runs breakneck toward the prodigal reeking of sin and wraps him up and decides to throw a party, no ifs, ands, or buts. A grace that raises bloodshot eyes to a dying thief’s request — ‘Please, remember me’ — and assures him, ‘You bet!’…This vulgar grace is indiscriminate compassion. It works without asking anything of us. It’s not cheap. It’s free, and as such will always be a banana peel for the orthodox foot and a fairy tale for the grown-up sensibility. Grace is sufficient even though we huff and puff with all our might to try and find something or someone that it cannot cover. Grace is enough. He is enough. Jesus is enough” (Brennan Manning).

I think grace offends most of us because we’re all about the American work ethic and pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps and earning our own way and yada, yada, yada. Grace says that no, you did not earn God’s love but you got it anyway. Grace says that what you do deserve is exactly what you don’t get and be thankful for that.

I will love grace as long as I live because without it, I wouldn’t be alive. I wouldn’t be anything at all.

I hope that I can come close to writing about grace as well as Brennan Manning did. Of course, I’d rather not go through a lifetime of alcoholism and all the destruction it wrought in his life. But there are no convenient and easy paths when it comes to dispensing grace to others. It’s much easier to wish karma on to those who hurt others or (especially) us. Karma may appeal more to our ideas of justice, but when it comes to love, grace always wins hands down.

So, go read this book. I’ve even provided a link for you to go directly to amazon’s page to buy it. So there are no more excuses.

http://www.amazon.com/All-Grace-Ragamuffin-Brennan-Manning/dp/1434764184/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1430101511&sr=8-1&keywords=all+is+grace

“Now there’s no more crowds and no more lights,
still all is grace.
Now my eyes are wrapped in endless night,
still all is grace.
Now I pace the dark and sleep the day,
yet I still can hear my Father say –
‘all is grace’.

It was easy as a younger man
To squander in the far off land
Where sin is sin, like black is black.
But the older brother sin is white,
this doubt that creeps me up at night –
‘does Jesus love me still?’

Now I take my meds and hear the game,
still all is grace.
Now old friends drop in and bless my name,
still all is grace.
Now a prodigal I’ll always be
yet still my Father runs to me.
All is grace.”

Tim

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It’s one thing when you look at the statistics about homelessness in America, but it’s an entirely different matter when you get the chance to talk with someone who’s homeless. Putting a face on any issue automatically changes how you see it. 

I met Tim tonight at Room in the Inn. He’s a gregarious and friendly fellow who has probably never met a stranger. 

He also found out recently that he has stage 2 colon cancer.

He’s the one who can cheer up just about anybody with his off-the-wall, zany brand of humor. He can make anyone forget about their problems for a while. But who will be the one to cheer him up now that he’s facing an uncertain future?

I’m fairly certain that my 3-year old niece has more teeth in her head than Tim does in his. He won’t grace the cover of any GQ magazines anytime soon. But I’d rather hang out with him than with any superstar I could think of, because Tim is the real deal. 

 When you look at numbers on a page, it’s easy to say that people are homeless because they’re lazy and undisciplined. But when you meet someone and see that he or she’s not that much different than you, then the issue becomes a bit more complicated. 

I bet you’ve probably met some without realizing it because many of those who are homeless may look and act and talk just like you or me.

If you want to make a difference, you can never go wrong with a little compassion and a listening ear. 

Most of these guys want more than anything to be heard and to be acknowledged. And boy, do they have some good stories to tell if you’re willing to listen. 

 It’s only by the grace of God that I’m not sleeping outside tonight. Before I close my eyes on my soft pillow in my cozy bed, I’ll be saying a prayer for Tim and thanking God for another example of how His blessings so often come in disguise.

 

The Condescension of God

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con·de·scen·sion

 [kon-duh–sen-shuhn]  Show IPA

noun

1.

an act or instance of condescending.
2.

behavior that is patronizing or condescending.
3.

voluntary assumption of equality with a person regarded as inferior.
Ok, for the purposes of this blog, forget #1 and #2. Put them out of your mind. I want to focus on #3. Because that’s what God did for us.
Let me explain.
This is the God of whom Isaiah wrote, “‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
This God would be completely unknowable unless He had first chosen to reveal Himself to us. He would have remained completely incomprehensible unless He had chosen to reveal His nature and His character. And  He didn’t get all high and mighty with us or look down His celestial nose at us. He looked at us with pity and compassion. But mostly with love.
Truly, this God is not like one of us, only bigger, stronger, faster. He is not the ultimate $6 million dollar man. He is holy, set apart, wholly other.
Jesus is the ultimate example of God’s condescension to man. He who was infinitely higher than we could ever hope or aspire to be, voluntarily assumed equality with those who were His inferiors, i.e. us. He became one of us. Or as Paul puts it in Philippians,
“Though He was in the form of God,
    He chose not to cling to equality with God;
But He poured Himself out to fill a vessel brand new;
    a servant in form
    and a man indeed.
The very likeness of humanity,
He humbled Himself,
    obedient to death—
    a merciless death on the cross!
So God raised Him up to the highest place
    and gave Him the name above all.
So when His name is called,
    every knee will bow,
    in heaven, on earth, and below.
And every tongue will confess
    ‘Jesus, the Anointed One, is Lord,’
    to the glory of God our Father!”
I’m thankful that when I couldn’t get to God, He came to me. I’m grateful that it wasn’t me who found God, but rather it was He who found me. He wasn’t lost. I was. I’m mostly glad that He didn’t (and doesn’t) leave me where He found me but constantly makes me a little bit more like Jesus every day.
So, yeah, I suppose I do like that word condescension now.