clinical depression

One Thing I’m Thankful for Today

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

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Note: I want to say this and get it off my chest. It’s one thing to be depressed and quite another to struggle with clinical depression (which thankfully I never have).

You would never say to someone with a broken ankle, “Just walk it off. You’ll be fine.”

Then why do we say things to clinically depressed people like, “Snap out of it” or “You obviously don’t have enough faith or you’d be over this” or “Just pray harder and you’ll be okay.”

To borrow something Rick Warren said, a broken brain is just as broken as a broken arm or leg or ankle. Just because you can’t see the ailment doesn’t mean it’s not there.

End of soapbox.

I’m choosing to be thankful that I only moderately sprained my ankle when I rolled it while cutting the backyard. For a second, it felt much worse. I got light-headed and nauseous, which is never fun.

But thankfully, I’m only limping a little with minimal pain.

I suppose I’m also thankful that I can walk. Oh, and that I still have two feet attached to two legs.

So many people go without those things I take for granted. Not just being able to walk, but being healthy and having a good job. Some people would give just about anything to be where I am. Why should I complain?

God, if I don’t say it enough, thank You for this beautiful life and another day to live it. You know I don’t deserve it, but You give it anyway.

I’m both thankful and blessed.

Wednesday Thoughts

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

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I got another sneak peek of autumn. It was warm, but not too much, with no humidity and just the tiniest hint of frost in the air. I loved it.

I drove home listening to a Billie Holiday CD. It was in fact the same CD that I lost in my transition from Memphis to Nashville almost 9 years ago. Her voice always takes me to a soothing happy place. It’s sad that her own life was so tragic and filled with heartaches and poor choices.

I took my iPad to the Apple Store because the Big Honkin’ Button hasn’t been working right. And no, that’s probably not the name that the Apple tekkies use, but it works for me. Anyhow, THAT button can be stubborn and not always do what I want. Imagine that.

It turns out I can either trade in this iPad for partial credit toward a new iPad or learn to bear with the Big-Honkin’-and-Sometimes-Annoying-Button. I chose option #2 as it was the affordable option.

I’m thinking about all the celebs we’ve lost so far in 2014: Philip Seymour Hoffman, James Garner, Mickey Rooney, Shirley Temple, Lauren Bacall, and Robin Williams.

I still can’t imagine being in a place where death seems like the only option. Then again, I’ve never struggled with clinical depression. I do know that it’s not something you can just “snap out of,” but a real chemical imbalance. A broken brain is just as broken as any broken foot or arm or leg. You just can’t see it.

I also know that you never know the secret battles that others are facing. I can look down on a Philip Seymour Hoffman who overdosed or a Robin Williams who hung himself with his own belt. But who knows how I would have fared under similar circumstances? Maybe I would have done far worse.

So yeah, it was nice outside. Too nice to not take a little time, roll down the windows, and breathe in the air. I may not have everything I want but I do have everything I need and then some. I am blessed.