Reminders of Why I Need Grace

I got home from Kroger with redbox rental in hand, ready to settle in for an evening with The Phantom of the Opera at Royal Albert Hall. Until I realized that the $10 in cash I had added to my debit card purchase was still at Kroger.

So I drove all the way back, fuming and calling myself all sorts of names. I was hyper-critical of the drivers around me, because I of course am always the model citizen and poster child for good driving.

I even was a little snippy with the lady when I asked about my $10. Thankfully, someone turned it in to customer service and I got it back.

I was reminded of something I heard a pastor say. We want justice for when others mess up, but mercy and grace for ourselves. How true that was tonight.

If only I could have shown more grace to the other drivers and to those at Kroger’s who were only doing their job. If ony I could have been more forgiving to myself for making a mistake.

I need grace. You need grace. We all need grace every second of every day. We all need to be willing to give it as well as receive it. We will all make dumb mistakes and do things that cause us to slap our foreheads and want to call ourselves names (not all of which are fit to print here).

Like leaving $10 behind.

Thankfully, I am not who I was. I’m also not who I will be. I am a work in progress. We all are.

I’m thankful that when God sees me he doesn’t see the bad attitude and the short temper I had, but rather He looks at me and sees Jesus. Even on nights like tonight.

By the way, the Phantom of the Opera at Royal Albert Hall was nothing short of spectacular. I got goose bumps and chills several times.

And tomorrow is a new day full of new chances and new mercies and fresh grace.

That’s good, because I will probably need it. So will you, if you’re anything like me.

Ansel Adams and Mixed-Up Values

I went to an estate sale today, which would make the second estate sale I’ve been to in my life. I got some really good deals, one on an Ansel Adams coffee-table book.

A guy there told me the story about a lady who knew Ansel Adams personally and had several of his original prints. She had a yard sale one time and sold several of them for practically nothing. She basically gave them away.

It would be easy to look down on someone who does something like that. But if I’m honest, I do that everyday. I treasure those things that won’t last and I treat as worthless those things that are priceless.

Culture does the same. We are told to spend our lives pursuing things. We are told our happiness depends on more stuff, on things like titles after your name and having your name on the right list. After all, haven’t you heard the refrain “He who dies with the most toys wins”?

At the same time, we see the sacred profaned and the priceless treated as worthless. Young girls are told their bodies are meant for sex and if they really love someone, they won’t deny him. Young boys are told that sex is an act, nothing more, with no consequences.

We are selling our God-given birthrights for cheap. We sacrifice our integrity, our beliefs, and our convictions for a promotion or a better job, for a relationship, for a bigger house or better car. This society doesn’t put much value in a human soul.

God says that you are priceless. As one of my favorite illustrations goes, if the God who made you could pick you up and turn you upside down to show you where He signed you, then you would know your true worth.

You are worth more than a career. Or a relationship. Or a house. Or a car. You are infinitely valuable because God made you with His own hands and then redeemed you with His own blood. He thought you were worth dying for. Literally.

Sometimes, I honestly have a hard time believing I have value or meaning. The voices in the dark whisper to me that the world would be better off without me and that no one needs or wants me.

But if I listen, the Voice of Truth tells me a different story. It says that God knows my name and loves me and has plans for me beyond my wildest imaginations or dreams.

I hope you will listen to that same Voice that says good things about you and calls you Beloved. The One who says you were worth every bit of shame and pain and scars and blood spent for you on the Cross.

Living Sermons: Thoughts from Tonight’s Kairos Roots

Something Aaron Bryant said really hit home with me today in a way few things have lately.

He said that we as believers could be the only sermons some people will ever hear.

Many people who will never step foot inside a chuch building are watching you and me. They are listening as we talk about our faith and how much we love the worship services and sermons we participate in each week.

But what speaks loudest of all is how we live. How we respond to bad days and failure and criticism. How we react when people yell at us or berate us or make fun of us and our beliefs.

When they see us not chasing after the next new big fad or product, they notice. They might think something like, “This is a person just like me who’s not captive to making the same bad choices I always seem to make. There’s something different about her (or him).”

When you exhibit contentment in Christ, it’s hard to miss. When you can be at peace in the middle of the chaos of a hectic day, it’s hard to miss. When you forgive after being hurt, they see Jesus in the flesh, your flesh, as He really is, full of love and grace and mercy.

You are preaching something every single day. How you live either glorifies you or God. How you treat others around you will influence how they see the God you profess to serve.

It’s not about being perfect and always acting out of love and never slipping up and giving in to anger. It’s about being able to ‘fess up when you mess up. It’s about being able to say the words, “I’m sorry. I was wrong. What I said (or did) didn’t reflect what I believe. Will you forgive me?”

So preach love. Not the touchy-feely sentimental much that passes for love these days, but the “get your hands and feet dirty” kind of love. The unconditional agape love that only can come from God, not from us.

Preach grace. Preach forgiveness. Preach not rules and regulations, but a better way to live.

St. Francis said it best (or at least this quote is always attributed to him, so that’s close enough for me): “Preach the Gospel at all times and, if necessary, use words.”

If you live Jesus on a daily basis, when the time comes, you will have an open door to share Jesus to a willing audience.

Goodwill Finds

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I am fast becoming a Goodwill junkie. I love going in those stores, not knowing what I’ll find, and walking away with a few unexpected treasures. Like today, for instance. I went in looking for music and came out with a little stained glass piece that has Romans 8:31 on it. Well, it looks like stained glass to my untrained eye. I went in with visions of finding Amy Winehouse CDs and found something I didn’t expect to find, but ended up being much more meaningful to me than what I was looking for.

I think life is a lot like that.

Sure, you can live your life in safe mode. That’s where you always hang out with the same people and go to the same places. That’s where you love people who are loveable and and invest in the friendships with people who are popular and know the secret handshake and password. Those in the know and on the go, so to speak.

That’s fine, but you never find any unexpected treasures there.

Sometimes, you have to go out of your way to find that treasure hidden in a field that’s worth more than everything you own put together. Sometimes, you have to get out of your safe life to find the most satisfying and rewarding moments.

Maybe the treasure is found in the friends who are on the outside with the in-crowd, but who have deep wells of wisdom when it comes to walking with Jesus. Maybe it’s in serving those who won’t say thank you, or giving to those who will never pay you back.

Maybe it’s in giving that someone a second chance after they screwed up the first and finding that forgiveness is its own reward.

I think God deliberately puts the most precious things and people and places and moments in the most ordinary disguises so that they will mean that much more to us when we find them and see them for their true worth and value. It’s a fearful thing to step out in faith that way, but the risk is always way more than worth it.

I can think of a few friends who have turned out to be golden. My family is the same way. Those memories I cherish most happened when I was expecting something else (or not expecting anyhing at all).

Sometimes, when you go digging through the trash, when you go to the lowliest places, sometimes you will look into the face of the broken and hopeless and outcast and find Jesus there.

Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given

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“During the meal, Jesus took and blessed the bread, broke it, and gave it to his disciples: Take, eat. This is my body” (Matthew 26:26).

I’m in the middle of another Henri Nouwen book and I am loving it. He more than any other writer (except for maybe Brennan Manning) always seems to speak to where I am right here and now.

He says, “To identify the movements of the Spirit in our lives, I have found it helpful to use four words: ‘taken,’ ‘blessed,’ broken,’ and ‘given.'”

I had never thought about it that way before. I never looked at Jesus breaking the bread at Passover and made an analogy to my own life.

We are taken (or chosen) by God who loved us from the start. We are blessed by Him with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. We are broken by our own sin and the broken and marred world we live in with so much poverty, injustice, and inhumanity. We are given to be God’s hands and feet to bring healing and justice and compassion into the world.

I read somewhere that my life is loaves and fishes. Remember the ones that Jesus used to feed the 5,000? In and of myself, I can’t do much. But if I am blessed and broken and poured out, God can bless so many more through me.

News flash: God takes and uses broken lives, scarred hearts, screwed-up pasts, and promises left unfulfilled. He can use anybody. In fact, He more often than not prefers the outcasts and nobodies and failures to be the ones to turn the world upside down (see the 12 disciples for examples).

Lord, may I be taken by You, Who chose me before I was born and gave me the name Beloved, and blessed with as much of You as I can stand. Break my heart for the things that break Yours and then give me out to those in need.

PS The book I’m reading is Life of the Beloved. Expect more blogs to come out of this. I’m not even halfway through. And, to throw in yet another shameless plug, go buy or download or pilfer or ingest this book as soon as humanly possible. It’s that good.

When the Lights Go Out

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I was en route from Memphis recently, listening to a book on CD, as all well-seasoned travellers do. It was The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, book 5 of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. It was read by Derek Jacobi, by the way, in case you were dying to know.

In the book, the Dawn Treader sails into an island of darkness. It’s a place where fear rules and all nightmares come to life. Lucy is at the top of the ship, watching as the crew tries vainly to escape. In her desperation, she says, “Aslan, if you ever loved us, help us now.” The answer to her prayer is an albatross who, as he flies by her, whispers, “Courage, dear heart,” in Aslan’s voice. He then leads them out into the sunlight.

I bet you’ve been in some dark places in your life. You’ve felt trapped in the valley of the shadow of death, where no light or hope can get through. You’ve been searching for a way out, but all you find is more darkness, more despair, more hopelessness.

You feel your circumstances will never get better. You fear that nothing will ever change. You come to believe that your worst-case scenario is due to come true any day now. Your faith is at a low ebb and your fears are cresting and crashing waves that swamp you.

There’s a voice, if you are still enough to hear it, that whispers the same words what it whispered to Lucy. “Courage, dear heart.” It says, “Hold on. Trust in Me in the darkness even when you can’t find Me there. I am with you, with My everlasting arms underneath you. I will never ever let go.”

Don’t believe that you feel or what you think, but what you know. Believe the same God who has proved Himself over and over and Whose word is true. Know that He is with you and for you in your darkness. Darkness may prevail right now, but joy is coming with the morning.

Just Love

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A friend of mine told me about how God had recently impressed upon her heart lately the words, “JUST LOVE!” I think that’s God’s word to me, too.

What is the power that conquered death in all its forms and made the fear of death something that the believer no longer has over him or her? Just love.

What is the force that will still be around when all the dictators and kings and presidents have gone to their graves and kingdoms and empires have fallen? Just love.

What will be the power that outlasts hate, overcomes fear, overwhelms ignorance, and will be the last one standing? Just love.

What can’t be stopped by any army or weapon or group that has ever been and ever will be? What has survived centuries of attempts to snuff it out only to grow stronger with time? Just love.

What is God’s ultimate force He has used to end the dominion of sin and overthrow darkness and usher in a new Kingdom with new values where anyone is welcome, nobody is perfect and nothing is impossible? Just love.

What are we as believers called to do to see this Kingdom of God come and see multitudes coming to faith in the Messiah and King, Jesus? Just love.

What will overcome every obstacle and barrier and what will draw people to the God we serve and make them want to know Him? Just love.

What can mend your broken heart, refresh your weary spirit, renew your mind, and heal your sin-scarred body? Just love.

Just love and only love is what will win. God is love and His love for us is so powerful that nothing, not death or the grave or anything else, can keep Him from getting to us and taking us back. Nothing can separate us from Him. Nothing will cause His love for us to stop. Nothing will diminish His love for us in the slightest.

God’s love in us and through us WILL change the world. That one thing I believe with all that is in me!

Amen and amen!

Learning to wait

I am learning to wait well. And notice I didn’t say I am learning well. I am slowly and haltingly learning how to wait expectantly and confidently. To wait well is to make yourself ready for what your waiting for while you’re waiting for it. That’s what I mean.

I am learning to be still. I am learning to quiet my mind and take those anxious thoughts captive. I am learning that most of the mistakes I am so worried about aren’t nearly as big as I had played them up to be in my mind. Most of the people I had convinced myself were so very pissed at me weren’t even mad at me at all or even close to offended. That facebook friend is still my facebook friend, despite all my imaginary scenarios of doom and gloom and defriending.

I am learning to rest. I don’t mean taking naps, but I mean to take deep breaths and focus on Jesus, who promised that if I only come to Him, He will give me rest. I want rest like in Psalm 131:2: “I’ve kept my feet on the ground, I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. Like a baby content in its mother’s arms, my soul is a baby content.” If I call the Prince of Peace Lord, you’d think I’d be better at letting His peace rule my heart. But I’m learning.

I’m learning to keep hoping when hope seems so very past tense. Like the movie Miracle on 34th Street says, “Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.” I’m learning to believe even when every single voice in my head is telling me to do anything– post something, fix something, pray something– but believe.

I am learning that every set back is a step up, every failure moves me forward, and every disaster has the hidden designs of the plan of God hidden underneath. Being willing to look and sound foolish is the best way to grow up and to grow in faith. In that case, I should be a mensa-like expert and growing up and growing in faith!

Let God take you through the School of Learning to Wait Well and Be Still and Rest. You will find once your ceaseless activities and programs stop, God can really start using you.

That’s what I’m learning.

Amen and amen.

An ordinary guy’s thoughts on pretty vs. beautiful

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I am pretty much going  way outside my areas of expertise on this one. I am not a fashion person. I have spent a long time watching and observing, and have come up with my own theories. Here’s one.

There’s a big difference to me between pretty and beautiful.

Pretty is common. I see a lot of pretty girls. Beauty is much rarer and harder to define, but you know it when you see it.

Pretty is what you put on, but beauty is what comes out of you. It’s not what you wear, but who you are. Pretty is cosmetics and beauty is character.

Pretty is something you see with your eyes, but beauty is something you find when you look with your heart. You have to have your eyes open to notice. To really be aware not just of how she looks, but how she acts and how she treats others.

Pretty fades. Gravity wins and time takes its toll. Beauty grows over time as the character inside blossoms and grows toward maturity and Christlikeness.

I decided again tonight that I want beauty, even if it means waiting longer and looking with a different set of eyes. To me, kindness and compassion in a woman are beautiful. Loving the unloveable and giving to those who can’t give back and socializing with those who are not like you is beautiful.

It means I have to be a man of character if I want a woman of character. That I continue to train my eyes to see women as princesses and not objects, as society tells us they are.

There you have it. I am no expert, but I know what I feel. I hope I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I am ok with it if I am.

Prophetic words on the Church from Martin Luther King, Jr.

Wow. This is increcibly prophetic for the Church in America in 2010. This is from Martin Luther King, Jr. in his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.”

“In deep disappointment I have wept over the laxity of the church. But be assured that my tears have been tears of love. There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love. Yes, I love the church. How could I do otherwise? l am in the rather unique position of being the son, the grandson and the great-grandson of preachers. Yes, I see the church as the body of Christ. But, oh! How we have blemished and scarred that body through social neglect and through fear of being nonconformists.

There was a time when the church was very powerful in the time when the early Christians rejoiced at being deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town, the people in power became disturbed and immediately sought to convict the Christians for being “disturbers of the peace” and “outside agitators”. But the Christians pressed on, in the conviction that they were “a colony of heaven,” called to obey God rather than man. Small in number, they were big in commitment. They were too God intoxicated to be “astronomically intimidated.” By their effort and example they brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contests.

Things are different now. So often the contemporary church is a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. So often it is an archdefender of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church’s silent and often even vocal sanction of things as they are.

But the judgment of God is upon the church as never before. If today’s church does not recapture the sacrificial spirit of the early church, it will lose its authenticity, forfeit the loyalty of millions, and be dismissed as an irrelevant social club with no meaning for the twentieth century. Every day I meet young people whose disappointment with the church has turned into outright disgust.”