C.S. Lewis

The Will of God

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“Outside the will of God, there’s nothing I want. Inside the will of God, there’s nothing I fear” (A. W. Tozer).

That’s where I want to be, but I’m not there yet. If I’m honest, I must confess that I probably have desires that are outside of the will of God. I also understand that anything outside of the will of God that seems good to me probably won’t be.

I love the fact that God in His plan factored in dummies like me. I don’t mean that I lack intelligence or common sense, but sometimes I can be thick-headed when it comes to the ways of God and what He wants for me. I think all of us are that way to one degree or another.

The problem is that I think too highly of what I want and not highly enough of what God wants. If I truly knew what God wants and saw what God sees, I’d want what God wants. I’d love what God loves. I’d ask for what God wills to give me.

So in one sense praying for God’s will is dangerous and in one sense it’s not. It will definitely take you out of your comfort zone and bring you to places and people that you would not have chosen for yourself. It’s also the safest place you can be outside of heaven.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased” (C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses).

The Joy of the Hunt

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I love a good afternoon spent thumbing through stack of vinyl. There’s just something about the joy of the unexpected, never knowing what you’ll find. Of course, I love finding those rare, hard to find, collectible records. But for me, finding LPs that take me back to my childhood are just as valuable.

I call my record player a turntable time machine, because music is the closest to being able actually to travel back in time to the year the album was created. So many dormant memories can reawaken upon the dropping of the record needle and the first notes of the first song on the first side.

If you didn’t grow up in the 70s, you may not be aware of a band called Candle that did a lot of Christian music for kids. The one I know best and love most is Music Machine, a sort of musical adventure through the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It’s good music for kids because it’s music that anyone can listen to, young or old.

Music that’s meant for only kids, just like books and television shows or anything else, usually aren’t good books. I think C. S. Lewis said that. I should be able to revisit a childhood favorite and still be engaged by it if it’s any good.

But for me, the best treasures are often the ones I find in the bargain bins or sometimes even in the free bins. So much of my collection is definitely in the $10 and under category. I think that’s because what determines value most isn’t always money. The price tag doesn’t automatically equate to worth or importance. And that goes for so many other things outside of music and records.

So the hunt will continue for me for a while. I hope you will share your own unique and interesting finds by posting in the comments. Happy listening!

So Close

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Every year, I dutifully fill in my brackets for the NCAA men’s college basketball tournament held around this time every year. Usually, I fill in quite a few — some serious, some off-the-wall, some in-between. Usually by this point, all my brackets are toast, and I’m hoping for some Cinderella team to pull off the improbable win.

This year, there were no Cinderella teams. No double-digit seeds that got to the Final Four. No underdogs tugging at everyone’s heartstrings. It was the usual top seeds that made it to the end. That made it a little less exciting for the games, but a little more helpful for the brackets.

One bracket was shaping up nicely. I had correctly picked all 8 of the Elite Eight teams, all 4 of the Final Four teams, and was one down, one to go for the Championship round. If it had all gone to plan, this would have been my best bracket ever.

Unfortunately, it did not go to plan. One of the teams I picked to advance, Duke, was actually leading up until the final few minutes. The other team, Houston, made an improbable comeback and won the game, dashing my bracket once and for all.

That’s life. At least a lot of life is like that. You almost get that one thing you really want, but not quite. You get the marriage or the house or the car, and it’s every bit of what you dreamed it would be — almost. It’s like we have desires that nothing in this world can quite satisfy.

C. S. Lewis said that if we have those desires that can’t be gratified by anything in this world, it means we were made for another world. Anything this side of heaven is only a type and a shadow of the real thing in heaven. Our ultimate longing and desire can only be found in God.

Of course, some of the things I really thought I wanted or needed to have I didn’t get because God knew better. Some of the kindest words God ever says to me are Him telling me no to a request that if I got what I asked for would destroy me. At least it would not be good for me. Also, I can’t really ask God to give me anything outside of Himself that’s as good as God, because that thing or person doesn’t exist. I think C. S. Lewis said that, too.

Anyway, I’m already looking forward to filling out multiple brackets in 2026 and hoping for that one miracle bracket. My golden ticket, if you will. I suppose I can dream, can’t I?

Focus

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I’m thankful every year for my social media break during Lent. I do like my Facebook and Instagram, but I also confess I get very tired of people being preachy on just about all of their posts. And by preachy, I don’t mean the kind where you offer the plan of salvation but the kind where you point out the faults of all these other people who just about always happen to be on the other side of the political spectrum.

These days, I see a lot of posts (even from people who profess to follow Jesus) about Karma. Usually, Karma is when other people get what they deserve, not me. Typically, these people will offer themselves more grace and wish karma for the others. I confess that I’ve been guilty of a double standard at times for me messing up versus someone else messing up.

But if you’re living truth, you probably won’t have enough time to point out everyone else’s errors. If you look for ways to celebrate the beautiful, you won’t dwell on the broken. And if you focus on being a servant, you won’t need to win every argument and always be proven right.

If you and I are honest, we need a lot of work. We need a lot of grace. We’re too messed up to judge anyone else being messed up. We’re too spiritually broken to be all high and mighty when it comes to calling out other people’s motives and character. Instead of moralizing, we need to preach the gospel to ourselves and to others every single day.

“f you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness.  But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love.  You see what has happened?  A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance.  The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point.  I do not thik this is the Christian virtue of Love.  The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.  We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.  If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith.  Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased” (C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory).

A Wedding and a Feast

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I confess that I haven’t always loved the idea of heaven. Back in the day, I somehow got the idea that heaven was an eternity-long church service. Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, but back in the day, church meant singing lots of hymns with words like “thou” and “thee” and “verily.” It also meant a lot of standing up and sitting down and listening to a preacher who yelled a lot. And also it meant wearing stiff uncomfortable clothes including dress shoes, a suit, and a clip-on tie. I may have ben stylin’ but I sure wasn’t lovin’ it.

I love the idea that heaven is a wedding. I’ve been to a few weddings, and the best ones were always a kind of celebration that left me feeling joyous. I still wore churchy clothes, but at least I was having a good time.

And I can definitely relate to a feast. As a self-diagnosed foodie, I love going to any kind of a celebration or party where there is food. Any time there was a church potluck or a family reunion, my favorite part (besides seeing the people, of course) was the food. Especially when it was the good kind with eight different varieties of fried chicken and enough casseroles to feed Custer’s army.

What made me fall in love with the idea of heaven was reading C. S. Lewis’ The Last Battle. Lewis describes heaven as waking up on the first day of summer after the school term has ended or the first day of vacation has begun. It’s that feeling of freedom and joy multiplied by infinity and stretched across eternity.

While I want to see my grandparents and all the other people that I loved and lost, the absolute best part will be seeing Jesus there. It will be the place where my faith finally becomes sight, where the best of my dreams finally come true.

More and more, I’m ready to go. The more I see of this world and the chaos and insanity in it, the more I long for the next. I long for the people I love to be there. All of them. That’s why I’m telling you again that the best decision you will ever make is to repent of your sins and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You will never regret it.

Little Victories

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So last fall I did something a bit offbeat. I bought a tiny tent for Peanut. It was $20, so I figured it would be worth it to give Peanut yet another napping spot where she could hide from the world while she gets her 23 hours of beauty rest.

I didn’t figure on the required assembly, so it sat on my bed for a while before I finally dug up the courage to read the instructions and put it together. More accurately, I read the instructions, couldn’t figure them out, messaged the company, got sent an instructional Youtube video, watched the video, then put the tiny tent together.

Then Peanut showed her appreciation by sleeping right next to it. A couple of times, she poked her head in to look around but decided she wasn’t having any of it. Finally, today I put in a different blanket that she’s used before and voila! She finally decided to try it out.

Sometimes, life can be hard. There can be very little going right for you. That’s when it’s important to celebrate the little victories. Did you get to the end of the month with all your bills paid? Victory. Did you get to the end of the month, period? Victory.

Do you have a roof over your head? Victory. Did you have at least one warm meal today? Victory. Were the clothes you wore today clean? Victory. See? You have lots of little victories to celebrate if you think long and hard enough.

God is good even when times are tough. God is working even when we can’t see it or feel it. Once we get over our American entitlement mentality, we see that every single good thing in life is a gift from God. Sometimes the trials themselves can be gifts if they cause us to look up in prayer and desperation. Pain can be God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world, including those of us who profess to follow Him (with much thanks to C. S. Lewis for that one).

Give thanks for all the little victories, and maybe just maybe you’ll see some bigger breakthroughs in your life. At least you’ll see God more clearly.

The Real Country

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“Peter,” said Lucy, “where is this, do you suppose?”. . . “If you ask me,” said Edmund, “it’s like somewhere in the Narnian world. Look at those mountains ahead—and the big ice-mountains beyond them. Surely they’re rather like the mountains we used to see from Narnia, the ones up Westward beyond the Waterfall?”. . .

“And yet they’re not like,” said Lucy. “They’re different. They have more colors on them and they look further away than I remembered and they’re more . . . more . . . oh, I don’t know . . .”

“More like the real thing,” said the Lord Digory softly. . . .

“But how can it be?” said Peter. “For Aslan told us older ones that we should never return to Narnia, and here we are.”

“Yes,” said Eustace. “And we saw it all destroyed and the sun put out.”

“And it’s all so different,” said Lucy.

“The Eagle is right,” said the Lord Digory. “Listen, Peter. When Aslan said you could never go back to Narnia, he meant the Narnia you were thinking of. But that was not the real Narnia. That had a beginning and an end. It was only a shadow or a copy of the real Narnia which has always been here and always will be here: just as our own world, England and all, is only a shadow or copy of something in Aslan’s real world. You need not mourn over Narnia, Lucy. All of the old Narnia that mattered, all the dear creatures, have been drawn into the real Narnia through the Door. And of course it is different; as different as a real thing is from a shadow or as waking life is from a dream.” His voice stirred everyone like a trumpet as he spoke these words: but when he added under his breath “It’s all in Plato, all in Plato: bless me, what do they teach them at these schools!” the older ones laughed. It was so exactly like the sort of thing they had heard him say long ago in that other world where his beard was grey instead of golden. He knew why they were laughing and joined in the laugh himself. But very quickly they all became grave again: for, as you know, there is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes. . . .

It was the Unicorn who summed up what everyone was feeling. He stamped his right fore-hoof on the ground and neighed, and then cried:

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee-hee! Come further up, come further in!”

From The Last Battle, C. S. Lewis

One day soon. One day soon.

My Favorite Bookstore

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I confess that I currently listen to more books than I read. Since I spend a lot of time in my car, it makes sense to listen to books through Audible. That said, I still love an honest to goodness bookstore that only sells books.

I do love me some Barnes & Noble, but I also admit they’re like the big bad bookstore in You’ve Got Mail. They not only sell books but movies, music, and lots of other stuff. They have a very retail chain feel to them.

My favorite bookstore right now is probably Landmark Booksellers. It’s close enough so I can go there regularly. They have a unique indie vibe that I really like. They also sell new and used books, which is definitely right up my alley.

On a bit of a tangent, there’s something about holding and reading a physical book, especially if it’s older. Those old books have an aroma and a texture that makes you want to soak in every word.

Parnassus is also a legit bookstore, but it’s a bit out of my way to go there, plus the parking in Green Hills is practically nonexistent. But that’s a good one for those who live more in the Nashville area.

I hope there will always be books and people who read books and places that sell books. I can’t imagine a world with only audio books and Kindles. That would be super sad.

Today, I picked up an old used C. S. Lewis book at Landmark. It wasn’t a planned purchase, but I saw this old book with the dust jacket still intact, and it called my name. What else could I have done?

Another Good Read

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Technically, since I’m enjoying this book through Audible, it would be a good listen rather than a good read. But the narrator is really good and the story has a pace that’s just right and neither too slow or too quick.

Surprised by Oxford is right up my alley. It’s set in Oxford among the ghosts of C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien and the like. Actually, there are no ghosts, but the fingerprints of Lewis and Tolkien are all over this story.

It’s a story about a journey to from unbelief to faith told in a riveting style that reads (or listens) like a novel rather than a memoir. I can visualize just about everything in my head despite never actually having been to Oxford.

I know there’s a movie based on the book that I want to see, but I also don’t. I know the movie will leave out significant portions of the book and condense other parts to make it fit into the 90 or so minutes that comprise the average length of a typical film. But also it will show Oxford in all its glory and make me want to go there more than I already do at the moment.

There are so many cultural and literary and musical references that are right up my alley. There are lots of mentions of U2 songs and of course lots of nods to Lewis. It’s set during the 90s when I myself would have been a college student, so I get that timeframe pretty well.

It’s definitely a book I’d recommend either listening to or actually honest to goodness reading out of an actual physical book. I know when it ends, I won’t be ready and will be a bit sad for a day or so. Then I will start my next grand audio adventure.

God Speaking

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I always pray for God to speak to me. I usually follow up with something like “and give me ears to hear when You are speaking.”

I can’t say that I’m one of those who has ever heard God speaking audibly. Typically, I can’t say I’m very good at discerning God’s voice. I usually have too many other noises and voices in my head.

Other times, I’ll see a social media post that just so happens to hit me square in the feels. It will be something that speaks specifically to me in the moment.

The above meme is an example of me reading a meme or a post that stops me dead in my tracks because it’s so accurate to where I am in my current situation. Then I wonder if it could possibly be one of the ways God speaks to me.

I wonder if I limit my ability to hear from God by limiting the ways He can speak to me. Obviously, the primary way God speaks is through His revealed Word, but I think God can communicate through other ways as well.

I also wonder if I took something as just a really neat coincidence when it was actually God’s way of speaking to me. Like one of those timely posts or snippets from a sermon. Or maybe it was a line from a song or a movie.

I wish I could remember how C. S. Lewis put it. He said that sometimes we’re too busy banging on the door to God’s throne to hear from Him. We’re too anxious and occupied with our pleading to be still enough to listen.

I think sometimes the prayer goes like this: “Lord, calm my mind enough to hear from You. Still all other voices so I know it’s You. Give me enough sense to recognize You speaking when I ask You to speak. And help me really to hear and obey what You tell me. Amen.”