The Books that Built Me

I had a random thought just now. Maybe I’d list some of the books I’ve read that challenged and changed me the most. It’s nowhere near a comprehensive list because I’ll think of one or two more that I should have added at 2 or 3 am.

But here is a list coming straight off the top of my head (including some series):

  1. The Valley of Vision – a collection of Puritan Prayers
  2. Hinds’ Feet on High Places – Hannah Hurnard
  3. The Normal Christian Life – Watchman Nee
  4. The Divine Conspiracy – Dallas Willard
  5. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
  6. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo
  7. My Utmost for His Highest – Oswald Chambers
  8. 1000 Gifts – Ann Voskamp
  9. The Chronicles of Narnia – C. S. Lewis
  10. The Lord of the Rings – J. R. R. Tolkien
  11. The Space Trilogy – C. S. Lewis
  12. The Book of Common Prayer
  13. The Calvary Road – Roy Hession
  14. Any of the Mitford books by Jan Karon
  15. Foxes’ Book of Martyrs
  16. The Mark of a Man – Elisabeth Elliott
  17. Evidence not Seen – Darlene Deibler Rose
  18. Morning and Evening – Charles Spurgeon
  19. Telling the Truth – Frederick Beuchner
  20. The Princess & the Goblin/The Princess & Curdie – George MacDonald
  21. The Hiding Place – Corrie ten Boom
  22. Gold by Moonlight – Amy Carmichael
  23. Imitation of Christ – Thomas a Kempis
  24. The Return of the Prodigal – Henri Nouwen
  25. Ragamuffin Gospel – Brennan Manning
  26. Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire- Jim Cymbala

If I tried really hard (and really wanted to), I could have made this list ten times as long. I could probably name at least twice as many books that altered the course of my life and forever changed the way I think. But one that I left out on purpose but see as the ultimate #1 book is the Bible. Every other book influences me by how it restates and translates biblical themes in a new and fresh way.

Maybe one day, I’ll do another list. Or maybe I’ll list all the music and movies that influenced me. I’d love to hear some of the books that changed you for the better. I’m always looking for a new read, so maybe I’ll add your suggestions to my ever-growing list of books to read.

The Whole Gospel

“There is no doctrine which I would more willingly remove from Christianity than this, if it lay in my power. But it has the full support of Scripture and, specially, of Our Lord’s own words; it has always been held by Christendom; and it has the support of reason. If a game is played, it must be possible to lose it. If the happiness of a creature lies in self-surrender, no one can make that surrender but himself (though many can help him to make it) and he may refuse. I would pay any price to be able to say truthfully “All will be saved.” But my reason retorts, ‘Without their will, or with it?’ If I say ‘Without their will’ I at once perceive a contradiction; how can the supreme voluntary act of self-surrender be involuntary? If I say ‘With their will,’ my reason replies ‘How if they will not give in?’. . .

The doors of Hell are locked on the inside. I do not mean that the ghosts may not wish to come out of Hell, in the vague fashion wherein an envious man ‘wishes’ to be happy: but they certainly do not will even the first preliminary stages of that self-abandonment through which alone the soul can reach any good. They enjoy forever the horrible freedom they have demanded, and are therefore self-enslaved: just as the blessed, forever submitting to obedience, become through all eternity more and more free” (C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain).

If we want to be true to the true gospel, we have to be true to the Word of God. If we are true to the Word of God, then we must believe that there is a hell as much as there is a heaven. There is no universal salvation. Some will be saved, some will not.

Jesus mentions that the road to life is narrow, and few find it. He then proceeds to say that the road to destruction is broad, and many are on it. As much as I want to believe that everyone is on their way to heaven, I can’t deny these words of Jesus.

That’s why the offer of the gospel still stands. To whomever will repent of their sins and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior, God will grant them eternal life. God will save anyone who calls on Him in faith. God is not willing that you should perish but that you should be saved.

You can pray a prayer like this: “Jesus, I know I’m a sinner. I know I’m separated from you. I deeply regret and repent of my sin. I turn to You in faith and receive you now as my Lord and Savior. I commit myself to following You for the rest of my days and to obeying whatever You ask of me from now until eternity. Thank You for saving me. Amen”

Grieving a Furry Friend

“I will never laugh at anyone for grieving over a loved beast. I think God wants us to love Him more, not to love creatures (even animals) less. We love everything in one way too much (i.e., at the expense of our love for Him), but in another way we love everything too little.

No person, animal, flower, or even pebble has ever been loved too much—i.e., more than every one of God’s works deserves” (C. S. Lewis, The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III).

Over the years, we’ve lost a number of pets. It never gets easy. Even when they get to be old and full of years, you think that final goodbye will be easier, but it never is. It’s like they take a piece of us with them when they go.

I remember when Lucy passed, I grieved more over her than over some people I had lost. I don’t think it was because I loved her more than I loved them but because she was always nearby, an immediate presence. I would never make fun of anyone who grieves over losing a dog or a cat (or any other kind of beloved critter).

There are many different ways to cope with the loss. One that I’ve found is to go to a shelter and find an animal who needs to be loved. I’ve heard grief expressed as love with nowhere to go. If you rescue an animal, you have an outlet for that love. It’s not that you love your previous pet any less, but you can continue that love with a new pet.

I like to think our pets will be in heaven. The Bible says that all of creation longs for the day when it will be restored. Maybe that includes all those critters we’ve loved and lost. I like to think so. I like to think that Murphy, Reggie, Gracie, Sammie, Paddy, Oliver, Dixie, Lucy, Linus, and Molly will all be there when I finally get there (plus a few more that I’ve forgotten).

All animals are God’s creations, and to love them well is to honor God well. I only wished that they could live a little longer, but I am grateful for each and every one of them.

Dealing with Pride

“For pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense” (C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity).

In the Bible, you see that pride is not something to celebrate but instead something to crucify. The Bible says that pride goes before a fall. Not just some of the time but all of the time. Why am I sharing that?

Because pride is something I deal with on a daily basis. I am prone to be proud in one of two ways — either thinking too much of myself and my abilities or thinking too little of myself and still keeping the focus all on me.

The antidote to pride, as the old saying goes, is not to think less of yourself but to think of yourself less. That comes from focusing on others more, and above all, focusing on God most.

Very often, I find that those trials God puts me through that I’d rather avoid are precisely the ones I need most. Those are teaching me to put away pride and embrace humility and dependence on God. Every time I think that I won’t make it and still somehow wake up to another day is another reason to lean hard on God.

The ultimate irony of the life of faith for someone like me is that it’s easy to get prideful about my humility. It’s easy for me to boast (even if only to myself) about how much I’m trusting in God. It can become a show where I’m the main attraction. In that case, I’ve missed the point entirely.

The older I get, the more I understand what Jesus meant about the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing. It means that as I work out my faith, sometimes those qualities that I pray for and long for can come out of me without me even being aware of it. Sometimes, I can see it in others without their being aware of it.

That’s why in-person one-on-one community is vital instead of being isolated and connecting only through virtual and online. But that’s really a topic for another day.

Jesus said that pride isn’t something to boast about but something to put to death. That means that every time I see it rising up in me, I need to take those thoughts and intentions captive and pray for God’s grace to keep me humble and surrendered. That’s when God can truly show up and show out.

Courage, Dear Heart

It’s a scene from my favorite Narnia book, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C. S. Lewis. In this particular moment, Lucy on board the Dawn Treader as it sails into a sea of darkness so think that you can’t even see your hand in front of your face. It’s the place where nightmares become real. Lucy is afraid.

She sees an albatross flying overhead. She whispers a prayer to Aslan (a type of Christ in Narnia) to help them get through. Suddenly, the albatross flies near and whispers in the voice of Aslan, “Courage, dear heart.”

We all need to hear those words sometimes. We’re not asking God to take away the fear or the scary situation, but for God to give us courage in the midst of it. In the book, Lewis writes that Lucy’s immediate circumstances did not change but that she did begin to feel a bit better.

In the same way, God doesn’t automatically remove the hard things from our lives our immediately still the storms in our lives. He does remind us of His promise to be with us through the waves and the flames and any kind of adversity.

When we get to the other side, it’s generally with a stronger faith and a story to tell. God comforts us in the midst of adversities so that we can turn around and comfort others in the same kinds of trials and tribulations with the same comfort that we ourselves received from God. It becomes a way of letting others know about the goodness of God that they can experience firsthand if they will only put their trust in Jesus as Lord and Savior.

That’s the phrase some of you need right now in the middle of whatever your facing: “Courage, dear heart. God is near.”

The Will of God

“Outside the will of God, there’s nothing I want. Inside the will of God, there’s nothing I fear” (A. W. Tozer).

That’s where I want to be, but I’m not there yet. If I’m honest, I must confess that I probably have desires that are outside of the will of God. I also understand that anything outside of the will of God that seems good to me probably won’t be.

I love the fact that God in His plan factored in dummies like me. I don’t mean that I lack intelligence or common sense, but sometimes I can be thick-headed when it comes to the ways of God and what He wants for me. I think all of us are that way to one degree or another.

The problem is that I think too highly of what I want and not highly enough of what God wants. If I truly knew what God wants and saw what God sees, I’d want what God wants. I’d love what God loves. I’d ask for what God wills to give me.

So in one sense praying for God’s will is dangerous and in one sense it’s not. It will definitely take you out of your comfort zone and bring you to places and people that you would not have chosen for yourself. It’s also the safest place you can be outside of heaven.

“It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased” (C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses).

The Joy of the Hunt

I love a good afternoon spent thumbing through stack of vinyl. There’s just something about the joy of the unexpected, never knowing what you’ll find. Of course, I love finding those rare, hard to find, collectible records. But for me, finding LPs that take me back to my childhood are just as valuable.

I call my record player a turntable time machine, because music is the closest to being able actually to travel back in time to the year the album was created. So many dormant memories can reawaken upon the dropping of the record needle and the first notes of the first song on the first side.

If you didn’t grow up in the 70s, you may not be aware of a band called Candle that did a lot of Christian music for kids. The one I know best and love most is Music Machine, a sort of musical adventure through the fruits of the Holy Spirit. It’s good music for kids because it’s music that anyone can listen to, young or old.

Music that’s meant for only kids, just like books and television shows or anything else, usually aren’t good books. I think C. S. Lewis said that. I should be able to revisit a childhood favorite and still be engaged by it if it’s any good.

But for me, the best treasures are often the ones I find in the bargain bins or sometimes even in the free bins. So much of my collection is definitely in the $10 and under category. I think that’s because what determines value most isn’t always money. The price tag doesn’t automatically equate to worth or importance. And that goes for so many other things outside of music and records.

So the hunt will continue for me for a while. I hope you will share your own unique and interesting finds by posting in the comments. Happy listening!

So Close

Every year, I dutifully fill in my brackets for the NCAA men’s college basketball tournament held around this time every year. Usually, I fill in quite a few — some serious, some off-the-wall, some in-between. Usually by this point, all my brackets are toast, and I’m hoping for some Cinderella team to pull off the improbable win.

This year, there were no Cinderella teams. No double-digit seeds that got to the Final Four. No underdogs tugging at everyone’s heartstrings. It was the usual top seeds that made it to the end. That made it a little less exciting for the games, but a little more helpful for the brackets.

One bracket was shaping up nicely. I had correctly picked all 8 of the Elite Eight teams, all 4 of the Final Four teams, and was one down, one to go for the Championship round. If it had all gone to plan, this would have been my best bracket ever.

Unfortunately, it did not go to plan. One of the teams I picked to advance, Duke, was actually leading up until the final few minutes. The other team, Houston, made an improbable comeback and won the game, dashing my bracket once and for all.

That’s life. At least a lot of life is like that. You almost get that one thing you really want, but not quite. You get the marriage or the house or the car, and it’s every bit of what you dreamed it would be — almost. It’s like we have desires that nothing in this world can quite satisfy.

C. S. Lewis said that if we have those desires that can’t be gratified by anything in this world, it means we were made for another world. Anything this side of heaven is only a type and a shadow of the real thing in heaven. Our ultimate longing and desire can only be found in God.

Of course, some of the things I really thought I wanted or needed to have I didn’t get because God knew better. Some of the kindest words God ever says to me are Him telling me no to a request that if I got what I asked for would destroy me. At least it would not be good for me. Also, I can’t really ask God to give me anything outside of Himself that’s as good as God, because that thing or person doesn’t exist. I think C. S. Lewis said that, too.

Anyway, I’m already looking forward to filling out multiple brackets in 2026 and hoping for that one miracle bracket. My golden ticket, if you will. I suppose I can dream, can’t I?

Focus

I’m thankful every year for my social media break during Lent. I do like my Facebook and Instagram, but I also confess I get very tired of people being preachy on just about all of their posts. And by preachy, I don’t mean the kind where you offer the plan of salvation but the kind where you point out the faults of all these other people who just about always happen to be on the other side of the political spectrum.

These days, I see a lot of posts (even from people who profess to follow Jesus) about Karma. Usually, Karma is when other people get what they deserve, not me. Typically, these people will offer themselves more grace and wish karma for the others. I confess that I’ve been guilty of a double standard at times for me messing up versus someone else messing up.

But if you’re living truth, you probably won’t have enough time to point out everyone else’s errors. If you look for ways to celebrate the beautiful, you won’t dwell on the broken. And if you focus on being a servant, you won’t need to win every argument and always be proven right.

If you and I are honest, we need a lot of work. We need a lot of grace. We’re too messed up to judge anyone else being messed up. We’re too spiritually broken to be all high and mighty when it comes to calling out other people’s motives and character. Instead of moralizing, we need to preach the gospel to ourselves and to others every single day.

“f you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness.  But if you had asked almost any of the great Christians of old, he would have replied, Love.  You see what has happened?  A negative term has been substituted for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance.  The negative idea of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves, as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point.  I do not thik this is the Christian virtue of Love.  The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself.  We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.  If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith.  Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak.  We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at the sea.  We are far too easily pleased” (C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory).

A Wedding and a Feast

I confess that I haven’t always loved the idea of heaven. Back in the day, I somehow got the idea that heaven was an eternity-long church service. Now, that doesn’t sound so bad, but back in the day, church meant singing lots of hymns with words like “thou” and “thee” and “verily.” It also meant a lot of standing up and sitting down and listening to a preacher who yelled a lot. And also it meant wearing stiff uncomfortable clothes including dress shoes, a suit, and a clip-on tie. I may have ben stylin’ but I sure wasn’t lovin’ it.

I love the idea that heaven is a wedding. I’ve been to a few weddings, and the best ones were always a kind of celebration that left me feeling joyous. I still wore churchy clothes, but at least I was having a good time.

And I can definitely relate to a feast. As a self-diagnosed foodie, I love going to any kind of a celebration or party where there is food. Any time there was a church potluck or a family reunion, my favorite part (besides seeing the people, of course) was the food. Especially when it was the good kind with eight different varieties of fried chicken and enough casseroles to feed Custer’s army.

What made me fall in love with the idea of heaven was reading C. S. Lewis’ The Last Battle. Lewis describes heaven as waking up on the first day of summer after the school term has ended or the first day of vacation has begun. It’s that feeling of freedom and joy multiplied by infinity and stretched across eternity.

While I want to see my grandparents and all the other people that I loved and lost, the absolute best part will be seeing Jesus there. It will be the place where my faith finally becomes sight, where the best of my dreams finally come true.

More and more, I’m ready to go. The more I see of this world and the chaos and insanity in it, the more I long for the next. I long for the people I love to be there. All of them. That’s why I’m telling you again that the best decision you will ever make is to repent of your sins and trust in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. You will never regret it.