brennan manning

More Lessons from Lent

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It’s been a week since I gave up social media for Lent and so far, I’ve managed to stay away. I’m also trying not to be super-legalistic about it, but I’ve done well so far.

I do miss seeing what everyone’s up to and what their kids and pets are doing. I do feel quite a bit out of the loop when I’m away from social media. I also feel like I’m actually participating in my own life again.

I got to see a good friend of mine in what looks to me like the beginning stages of a dating relationship. I’m to the point now where I can be completely happy and supportive of both of them.

I also was blessed to celebrate the transition of Kairos  leadership from Mike Glenn to Chris Brooks. Even though I’m not the biggest fan of change (as I may have mentioned in passing in a few other blogs), I know that better things are in store for Kairos.

Maybe I’ll actually get back to that novel I started back in December but haven’t been able to get around to in 2016. Imagine that. Reading actual books. It boggles the mind.

I still hope to have more face-to-face conversations and do more of that real life stuff that I’ve been hearing so much about. From what little I’ve seen, I really think I’m going to like it.

In three days, my teenaged geriatric cat turns 16. I almost feel like a parent, wondering where the time has gone from when she was a wee little kitten barely bigger than my hand.

I think at some point in the future, I’d like to take a week or so where I go off the grid completely. No electronics, no phones, TV. Just me getting back to nature and (hopefully) getting my internal clock reset.

I also want to get back to living out of a sense of wonderment. I want to enjoy the moments and give thanks to the Creator not only of the grand universe but also of the smallest details.

There will be more updates as Lent progresses. If you’re pining away without me on social media, you can always reach me at gmendel72@icloud.com (because I get so few actual emails from actual people these days).

 

I Hate Goodbyes

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I hate goodbyes.

Even though part of me knows that the ending of one thing often brings the beginning of something new and better, I still want to hold on to the old.

Even though part of me realizes that nothing on this side of eternity can last, I still want little pockets of my life to stay the same, for certain people in my life to always stay the same age and never get older. That’s probably the same part of me that still thinks fat ol’ Santa climbs down the chimney to bring me my presents.

Goodbyes are never easy. Tonight was no exception.

We said goodbye to Mike Glenn as Kairos pastor. I understand that it was time for a change. I understand that Kairos needed fresh blood and a new vision. I understand that you can’t keep doing things the same old way year after year and hope for different outcomes.

That doesn’t mean I don’t think it sucks.

People who have been out there in the dating world know how hard it is to say goodbye to relationships. Sometimes even to the dream of a relationship. It’s gut-wrenchingly hard to say goodbye to loved ones who pass away, like aunts and uncles and parents. I can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to say goodbye to your child.

The part that I keep holding on to when unexpected (and sometimes unwanted) change comes is that there is no goodbye in God’s love for me. There is no end to that enless love that won’t let me go. It even holds on to me when I’m doing everything in my power to let go of it.

I can’t envision a scenario in any future where goodbye will ever be an easy word to say. I don’t want to ever get used to saying goodbye.

I know when it comes to my Abba Father and His unconditional extravagent love for me, I never will.

 

 

More Musings About Music

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So, I hear there was some kind of awards ceremony tonight for the music industry. Something called the Grannies? The Grammys? Something like that.

Anyway, I skipped it like I’ve skipped the last few. To my ears, the music that gets played on the radio sounds like a lot of ear candy– sorta like cotton candy set to a beat. If you like current top-40 music, more power to you. It just isn’t for me.

I like my music more off the beaten path. One of my favorite singer-songwriters is Lori McKenna, whose album Lorraine is (in my opinion) a clinic in what good songwriting sounds like. I highly recommend it. Now if I can only find it in my considerable collection of music.

I also like to go back and revisit music that I listened to in the past. I find that I hear it with a different set of ears and that I appreciate it in a new way.

I still think that nothing is more powerful than a song that tells my story and that speaks my thoughts. It’s sometimes almost like having my diary set to music. Sometimes it’s a little scary how close they get.

That’s why I think if I had to choose between movies, books, and music, I’d probably go with music. Music is the only media that affects every area of the brain. Or so I’ve read on the internet, so it must be true.

PS I found that Lori McKenna album. It will probably find its way into the rotation on my homeward commute at some point in the very near future.

More to come later on what I’m discovering and listening to in the wonderful world of music.

 

What Love Is

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“Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I’ve looked at love that way

But now it’s just another show
You leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know
Don’t give yourself away

I’ve looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know love at all” (Joni Mitchell)

It’s Valentines Day, a. k. a. Single Awareness Day. It’s great for those who are in relationships (or who still have great hopes of relationships). For those who are perpetually single who spend way too much time with their cats? Not so much.

Still, I’ve been around enough to know what real love is and is not. So I thought I’d share some of my thoughts on the matter.

Love is not a feeling. Well, it is, but it’s so much more than that. I heard a pastor today say that love involves the head, the heart, and the hands. Love is primarily a choice, an act of the will– that’s the head. It’s also emotions– that’s the heart. It always leads to acts of selflessness– that’s the hands.

Love is not just romantic. There’s brotherly love and comfort love and– best of all– that unconditional love that always starts and ends with God.

If I say I love someone, that means more than a warm fuzzy feeling or a Hallmark sentiment. It is a decision to place that person’s welfare above my own, to do everything in my power to help that person realize all their potential and help them to become everything God created them to be.

That’s love.

If you want to define love, you begin and end with God’s ultimate expression of Himself in the person of Jesus. He gave up absolutely everything for you and me. His sacrifice forever set the tone of what true love should look like.

I believe love isn’t Romeo and Juliet dying for passion, but the old couple down the street growing old together. it’s the man with arthritis painting the toenails of his wife who has Alzheimer’s and can’t begin to repay him, much less express thanks for what he’s done.

Love is always sacrifice. Ultimately, love means you give without expecting anything in return. The final word on love is Jesus dying on a cross for people who would ultimately reject His sacrifice and many more who accept it and then take it for granted. Yet, that love perseveres.

That’s love. I don’t completely understand all of it, but I know that I can only love someone else if God first loved me and His love in me flows out to the other person.

I definitely know I want more of it.

 

 

Words That Create (More Goodness from Henri Nouwen)

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“Words, words, words. Our society is full of words: on billboards, on television screens, in newspapers and books. Words whispered, shouted, and sung. Words that move, dance, and change in size and color. Words that say, ‘Taste me, smell me, eat me, drink me, sleep with me,’ but most of all, ‘buy me.’ With so many words around us, we quickly say: ‘Well, they’re just words.’ Thus, words have lost much of their power.

Still, the word has the power to create. When God speaks, God creates. When God says, ‘Let there be light’ (Genesis 1:3), light is. God speaks light. For God, speaking and creating are the same. It is this creative power of the word we need to reclaim. What we say is very important. When we say, ‘I love you,’ and say it from the heart, we can give another person new life, new hope, new courage. When we say, ‘I hate you,’ we can destroy another person. Let’s watch our words” (Henri Nouwen).

Choose your words carefully. Speak life and not death. Speak hope and not despair.

Even your lack of words can have tremendous power. Your choosing to ignore someone sends a more powerful message than any words of hate ever could.

So choose words that head and not harm. Choose words that will build up and not tear down.

That’s all I have on this Thursday evening in February.

 

Forgiveness on Repeat

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“Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime; therefore, we are saved by hope. Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore, we are saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own; therefore, we are saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness” (Reinhold Niebuhr).

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it” (Mark Twain).

“Forgiveness is the answer to the child’s dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again” (Dag Hammerskjold).

I’m still a big fan of forgiveness, because I still need it very much every single day.

I’m no worse than anyone else, but I also have a front-row seat to my own bad choices, bad motives, and poor decisions. I know that God has a lot to forgive in me, and I’m forever grateful that He still does.

My question for me is this: what has anyone ever done to me that tops what I’ve done to God? If God can forgive me for a billion dollar-sized debt of failures and regrets, how can I not forgive what amounts to a few measly dollars (in comparison) of those who’ve wronged me?

I forgive because I fail. I know there will be too many times when I will need that forgiveness not just from God but also from others. So I forgive.

Holding back forgiveness doesn’t hurt the other person. It does hurt you. It holds you back. It keeps you from growing and moving forward. The best illustration is that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die from it. Ultimately, that kind of bitterness is fatal to only one person– you.

So forgive, not because the other person deserves it– or even asks for it– because you need it for peace of mind and resolution. So you can finally move on and embrace the next place God has for you.

The end.

More Random Drivel About Nothing, Really

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When you write blogs like these daily, you inevitably have days where the well runs dry, where the creativity has left the building, where cliches are as rampant as all the bad metaphors you just read.

After all, it’s Monday. I can use that as my excuse, right?

I read something I posted a few years back that basically asked this question: if God took away from you all that you failed to give thanks for, what would you have left? Who would you have left?

Even now, I’m bad at taken things for granted. Actually, I’m quite good at it. I’ve reached the expert level at taking things and peopler for granted and assuming that they’ll always be around.

Also, I drove home in wintry weather. For those above the Mason-Dixon line, it was probably nothing that would even raise your blood pressure in the least. But I am a Tennessee driver living amongst Tennessee drivers who freak out whenever we see a snowflake. I made it home in one piece with most of my sanity intact. I should reward myself with something chocolatey.

For those of you who are weary of holding on and waiting, remember that God is with you in this moment. All you are required to do is to trust God for the moment you’re in, not for a year or a week from now. All you have to do is believe God’s promises and put one foot in front of the other for the next 24 hours.

I’m typing this on my Mac Book Pro. I still like it. It doesn’t bog down like my Sony Vaio and, so far, it hasn’t been overheating like the old laptop did. I do feel that my cool factor is up slightly (as much as it can go for a guy who really can’t grow facial hair all that well).

That sums up another Monday about to go in the books. Not everything went swimmingly, but I made it through and I’m still blessed, so I’m calling it a good day.

The end.

 

 

Congrats, Peyton Manning

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Alright, I confess. I was slightly rooting for the Carolina Panthers to win Super Bowl 50. Nothing personal against you. I just felt like they were the better team. Plus, they had the kid from The Blind Side playing for them. It felt like the Christian thing to do.

Still, I also have to confess that I’ve admired you through your entire career, starting out at the University of Tennessee to the Indianapolis Colts and finally to the Denver Broncos.

You always have done everything and carried yourself with utmost class. You always have won the right way– by working hard and playing by the rules. You exemplified your Christian faith without using it as a bully pulpit to shame others.

I don’t know if tonight will go down as your swan song. It’d be nice to see you end your playing career as Super Bowl 50 champion. Still, that is totally your call. You are the only one who knows when it’s the right time to call it a career.

If this is the last rodeo for you, I wanted to be one of the first to thank you for leaving a legacy of class that I hope will be followed by not just future quarterbacks in the NFL, but by all professional athletes in their respective sports.

I love the way you’ve exemplified the truth that it really isn’t ultimately about winning or losing but how you play the game and why you play it. You always have played it for the love of the game and it has always showed. You have earned the respect not only of your fellow players and coaches but also of the opposing players and coaches.

No matter the outcome of the game, whether you had won or lost (and I am glad that you won), I would have considered you a winner either way. All this comes from a non-UT fan who grew up in West Tennessee supporting the other state college.

Thanks, and may you one day buy the Titans and run their organization right. I can dream, can’t I?

 

My Lent Plans for 2016

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Here I am, typing this on my laptop in Starbucks and already thinking about Lent. If I’m not mistaken, Lent starts on Ash Wednesday, the day after Fat Tuesday, which occurs during Mardi Gras.

My plan as always is to fast from social media during this time. As much as I’d like to use the extra time to be all productive and stuff, my main goal during this season is to reboot my brain and get my head right again.

Not that I’m in a bad place. I just think that it’s easy to let social media affect how you perceive yourself and others, and stepping away from it all can be a good way to remind yourself that life is more than status updates, Instagram posts, and how many likes and/or comments you get.

I will still be writing these blogs, so fret not. They will still show up on all my social media outlets, as usual.

Ideally, I can spend way less time with my head buried in my phone. I can look up and see blue skies and sunsets and other people (most likely with their heads buried in their phones and tablets).

Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. It’s also what happens when you’re checking your Facebook feed or updating your Twitter account. I doubt very seriously that you’ll get to the end of your life and regret all those hilarious memes you didn’t share or all the clever status updates you didn’t write.

You will regret not spending more actual real time with real people in face-to-face conversations about real-life situations.

You will regret not looking up from your social media to see all that life that’s passing you by.

So all that to say that starting Ash Wednesday, I will be (mostly) off the grid until after Easter Sunday. See you all then.

 

Good Stories

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I’m drawn to a good story, whether it be in the form of a song or poem or novel or movie. I believe a good story is one in which I can identify myself and see part of my own story in the unfolding drama.

I’m reading through the Bible again, and I recognize myself all over the place. I can identify with the Israelites who are chosen as God’s people but often act as anything but God’s own possession.

I know what it’s like to want to go back to what’s comfortable and safe, even if that also happens to be bad for you and going backward rather than going forward.

I know what it’s like to be constantly tempted by idols and the surrounding culture bombarding you with images and messages that flatly contradict the message that God keeps trying to tell you.

I can fully relate to the many characters in the Bible whom God uses in spite of themselves, their weaknesses, their fears, their hang-ups. I had always been led to believe that people like Abraham and Isaac and Moses and Noah were the heroes in the stories.

That’s not true. God is always the hero of the biblical story. These are people who are only famous because God chose to use them. If God had never spoken to Moses from a burning bush, I doubt he’d be anything more than a very small footnote in the book of Exodus.

The Bible reminds me that what I need most is not to discover the inner warrior within me but rather to rely daily on the Warrior Savior who cherishes me and fights for me and never quits on me.

I’m beginning to understand the point of all the rules of the Old Testament. The point is that I’m supposed to look and act different as one of God’s people. I’m set apart. I’m not like everybody else and my story won’t play out like everybody else’s. That’s the point.

It’s not even really my story anymore. It’s God’s story that I get to be a part of.

I love that.

The end.