brennan manning

A Fall-ish Day in August

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“There is a time in the last few days of summer when the ripeness of autumn fills the air” (Rudolfo Anaya).

“Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns” (George Eliot).

“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!” (Percy Bysshe Shelley)

I love days like this. Today, it almost felt like fall came early. I know that it’s just a temporary spell that will soon be replaced by the return of the hot and sticky hell known as a Tennessee summer.

I actually drove home from downtown Franklin with my windows rolled down. I could smell the sweet summer breezes drifting through my car as good music played on my CD player.

Weather like this always makes me nostalgic for times past. I don’t know why Autumn in particular seems to bring up old memories more than any other time of the year.

Sometimes, I think I could live in a place where the temperature hovered somewhere between 55 and 75 all year round. I don’t know if a place like that exists but I’d move there tomorrow.

Right now, I have a very playful and energetic kitten who needs my attention. She won’t stay tiny forever and I will one day miss her kittenish ways when she gets all grown up and mature.

So thanks for reading this and I hope we have a few more days of this fall sneak preview before the return of the sweats and the humidity. My prayer for you and me is that we can find at least one thing to be thankful for in every day, starting today.

 

 

 

Grieving a Pet

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“I will never laugh at anyone for grieving over a loved beast. I think God wants us to love Him more, not to love creatures (even animals) less. We love everything in one way too much (i.e., at the expense of our love for Him), but in another way we love everything too little.

No person, animal, flower, or even pebble has ever been loved too much—i.e., more than every one of God’s works deserves” (C. S. Lewis, The Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis, Volume III).

I’m seeing a lot of people grieving over having to say a final goodbye to their beloved pets. Maybe it’s because I went through the same experience on June 21 when my Lucy crossed the rainbow bridge and took that piece of my heart with her.

Part of me still feels a little stupid for grieving over a cat when people have lost parents, siblings, and children. I don’t pretend to say that my losing a cat is anywhere close to the same as a parent having to bury a child. Still, a loss is a loss.

My heart goes out to all those who come home to silence. My prayers are with all of those who are missing the quiet presence of a pet who always seemed to be there when needed.

My own heart still hurts a little when I see videos of Lucy. I still wish that I could reach through the screen and grab her and pull her back to me, but I know that’s not really her. It’s only an image on a flat screen.

I do know that the present world is broken and that nothing works quite like it should. People die. Pets die. So much sadness and pain seem to be everywhere.

I also know that we who suffer loss and pain can better comfort others who go through the same. No one knows grief better than the grieving.

I further know that one day God will restore all creation to what it was originally designed to be. The last book of the Bible says He will wipe away every tear from our eyes and that there will be no more sorrow or pain or sickness or death or grief.

Until then, my prayers and thoughts are with you.

Casting My Anchor in the Port of Peace

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I’m occasionally like praying other people’s prayers. By that, I mean praying out of books like the Book of Common Prayer and The Seven Sacred Pauses. I’ve chosen a prayer from The Valley of Vision, a collection of Puritan prayers and devotionals, that expresses the prayer of my heart right now. While I think it’s important to pray what’s in your heart as authentically as possible (even sighs and groans), I also believe that sometimes that prayer best comes out in somebody else’s words.

“My faith is in thee,
My expectation is from thee,
My love goes out toward thee,
I believe thee,
accept thy Word,
acquiesce in thy will,
rely on thy promises,
trust thy providence.
I bless thee that the court of conscience
proves me to be thine.
I do not need signs and wonders to believe,
for thy Word is sure truth.
I have cast my anchor in the port of peace,
knowing that present and future
are in nail-pierced hands.
Thou art so good, wise, just holy,
that no mistake is possible to thee.
Thou art fountain and source of all law;
what thou commandest is mine to obey.
I yield to thy sovereignty all that I am and have;
do thou with me as thou wilt.
Thou hast given me silence in my heart
in place of murmurings and complaints.
Keep my wishes from growing into willings,
my willings from becoming fault-finding
with thy providences,
and have mercy on me.
If I sin and am rebellious, help me to repent;
then take away my mourning and give me music;
remove my sackcloth and adorn me with beauty;
take away my sighs and fill my mouth with songs;
and when I am restored and rest in thee
give me summer weather in my heart” (The Valley of Vision).

The Strain of the Moment

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“If you are a child of God, you will certainly encounter adversities, but Jesus says you should not be surprised when they come and there is nothing for you to fear. God does not give us overcoming life–He gives us life as we overcome. The strain of life is what builds our strength. If there is no strain, there will be no strength. God never gives us strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the moment” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest).

That’s what I need– strength for the moment. Strength to live in the moment when I’m constantly tugged in two different directions. I always feel the pull to look back in nostalgia (which can be good at times but can also distract me from the present) and to look ahead (to what might or might not come to pass).

Right now, I have a very sleepy kitten on my chest. She’s purring contentedly, not worried about what will happen tomorrow or the day after that. I need to be more like her.

As I recall, when God made Himself known to Moses to lead His people out of Egypt, it wasn’t as “I WAS” or “I WILL BE” as much as it was “I AM.” God never speaks to us in our past or our future but always in our present, always where we are.

I can’t worry about what I forgot to do earlier today or what good or bad might happen tomorrow. I can breathe deeply and trust that God is with me to handle whatever comes or has come.

By the way, this sleepy kitten is seriously putting me to sleep. She has a very calming effect like that.

May you know God’s provision for your daily bread as each day comes and trust Him in the moment as each moment comes. Amen.

 

Radnor Revisited

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Right now, I have a very sleepy kitten laid out in front of my laptop. I’ve been told that it’s a good thing when they can stretch out to nap. When they expose their bellies like that, it indicates they have complete trust and feel secure around you.

I did my usual hike at Radnor Lake State Park. My friend and I chose Ganier because apparently we are both creatures of habit. I know I am.

It was fantastic. Even though we didn’t see nearly as many deer as we normally do, it still felt great to step out of the normal routine and into a place that feels a lot like Middle Earth. I still can’t believe this place is actually in Nashville and within minimal driving distance.

If exercise is one of the most underutilized antidepressants, then hiking while getting back to nature has to be one of the best natural highs out there. I’d love it even more if the temperature would have been about 20 degrees cooler and the leaves were turning.

I’m still learning to take in my surroundings. I said before that I’m not very good at being observant, but Radnor is teaching me to keep my eyes open all the time, because you never know when you might spot something amazing.

I’m also still learning to slow down. I saw people who were apparently all keen on rushing through their hikes, but I want to experience this place. I don’t want to just burn calories and (hopefully) lose weight. I want to take in as much of nature and God’s creation as I can.

Right now, I think I’m about as tired as my little Peanut, but it’s a good kind of tired that comes from a good kind of day. See, even Mondays can be good if you have the right kind of attitude– an attitude of gratitude.

 

Dancing with a Limp

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“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp” (Anne Lamott).

I still miss my ol’ cat Lucy. It still feels wrong that she’s not here anymore and that she’ll never jump in my lap and settle down for a nightly nap. I think I’ll always miss her and my heart will always ache a little when I think of her or see pictures of her.

Some of you are going through much worse. Some have lost friends, parents, spouses, and even children. I saw where the mayor of Nashville lost her only son and child last night from an apparent overdose. I can’t imagine the grief she’s enduring right now. Regardless of your politics, no one should ever have to bury a child. No one.

I know it’s part of life. I know that since the fall introduced death into the world, we’re all destined to say goodbye to those we love, whether two-legged or four-legged. The pain will seem unendurable at times and you’ll wonder how you can ever survive without them.

The good news is that God knows all about grief. The cross is about God sending His one and only Son to die for us that we might live. God can comfort those who grieve and they can in turn be a comfort to others who suffer loss.

In the end, God does really work all things together for good. Even death. You carry all the memories with you in your heart, and one day in Christ you will see your loved one again.

 

Listening to the Right Voice

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“[T]he real ‘work’ of prayer is to become silent and listen to the voice that says good things about me. To gently push aside and silence the many voices that question my goodness and to trust that I will hear the voice of blessing– that demands real effort” (Henri J.M. Nouwen, Life of the Beloved: Spiritual Living in a Secular World).

Maybe that’s why it’s so difficult for most of us to be still and silent for long. Perhaps the enemy knows that once we start listening to the voice of our Abba, and believing what He says about us, we will no longer be swayed by any temptation from the other side.

Sure, we have lots of voices telling us we’re no good, that we’re failures who are past all hope. We have other voices telling us that we’re as good as how well we perform and jump through hoops and wear the right labels and drive the right cars and so on and so forth.

Still, the voice that trumps all those other voices says that you are already enough because Abba made you. You are not your mistakes or your shortcomings or your weaknesses. You are your Abba’s beloved, and He is very fond of you.

“At issue here is the question: ‘To whom do I belong? God or to the world?’ Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down. Often I am like a small boat on the ocean, completely at the mercy of its waves. All the time and energy I spend in keeping some kind of balance and preventing myself from being tipped over and drowning shows that my life is mostly a struggle for survival: not a holy struggle, but an anxious struggle resulting from the mistaken idea that it is the world that defines me.

As long as I keep running about asking: ‘Do you love me? Do you really love me?’ I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with ‘ifs.’ The world says: ‘Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much.’ There are endless ‘ifs’ hidden in the world’s love. These ‘ifs’ enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world’s love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain ‘hooked’ to the world-trying, failing,and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart” (Henri J.M. Nouwen).

Another Franklin Adventure

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I think my new motto should be “pet all the cats.” That seems to be whatever I find myself doing whenever I’m anywhere near felines.

I found one lounging outside a small record shop I’ve been meaning to check out in the downtown Franklin area. Unfortunately, the store itself was closed (even though it was still 10 till 6 and the sign said they were open until 6), but the cat was friendly.

From there, I made my way over to McCreary’s Irish Pub, my favorite place to eat in the entire world. I had a most excellent meal of corned beef and cabbage, replete with sweet iced tea (this being the South and all).

I put in a fair amount of walking (and profuse sweating and possibly a touch of wheezing) up and down the sidewalk in the July humidity for which I rewarded myself with some most excellent double peanut butter pie ice cream from Kilwin’s.

I took my usual stroll down my favorite street, fantasizing about what it would be like to win the lottery and to be able to live in one of the houses on this street. Every single house is like something out of Anne of Green Gables combined with a George MacDonald fairy tale.

I ended up with over 17,000 steps. My feet hurt a little, but I’m the good kind of tired. I’m thankful that I’m able to walk that far (and hopefully burn off some of the delicious calories I consumed).

I’m thankful for yet another day that I lived to see and to tell the tale. Never again will I take for granted that privilege that is denied to many. I’ve known way too many who died way too young to still buy the illusion that I’m guaranteed anything beyond today.

Thank you, God, for this life, and forgive me if I don’t love it enough and live it with unending gratitude.

Amen.

Regardless of Their Outward Condition

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“Blessed (happy, to be envied, and spiritually prosperous—with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the poor in spirit (the humble, who rate themselves insignificant), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven!” (Matthew 5:3, The Amplified)

I’m a fan of The Amplified Bible and how it expands on verses, giving all the different nuances in a verse. With one exception. Whenever I’m following my pastor, I feel like I have to speed-read to keep up because of all the additional words in my translation.

That said, I read the Beatitudes this evening and one phrase kept knocking me upside the head and grabbing my attention– regardless of their outward condition. And most of the time, I just about need a verse to knock me upside the head for me to really see it.

Who are these blessed that Jesus talks about? They are the ones who know they need God, who crave His righteousness and His kingdom, who mourn over injustice, and who will be filled with joy, regardless of their outward conditions.

They know that true joy can survive and thrive through any circumstances, good or bad, in plenty or in want, in feast or famine, in the midst of blessing or in a season of testing.

You are blessed if you are still waiting on your promise from God but never cease to be grateful for all that you have.

You are blessed if your joy cannot be shaken, regardless of how others treated you or how well you performed or how good or bad your day went.

You are blessed if you’ve failed time and time again, seemingly done everything wrong, and screwed up royally at every given opportunity, yet keep believing that God’s mercies are still new every morning.

You are blessed if your faith will never waiver, whether God gives you everything your heart desires or if He gives you only His presence and His comfort and nothing else.

If you have God and everything this world has to offer, you have nothing more than if you only had God alone, and you are blessed.

 

The Serenity Prayer

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“God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
Amen” (Reinhold Neibuhr).

Most people know this prayer, at least in part. Those who have been through Alcoholics Anonymous or some other kind of recovery program know this prayer very well.

I’m not attending AA, but I think this prayer speaks to my heart and to where I am at the moment.

My idea of happiness is that the world I live in will always be as I would have it and that I could obtain that supreme happiness in the here and now. It almost never involves hardship or suffering of any kind.

This prayer reminds me once again that it’s not about me. This life and this world don’t revolve around me and my wants and needs. However, I can make a difference both in my life and in the lives of those around me.

I’m still getting better and living one day at a time and enjoying one moment at a time. It seems my automatic default is to want to hurry on to the next season of life, which currently for me is fall and cooler temperatures.

This prayer teaches me to see things as they are, to step out of my fantasies and my dreams into the world that is, yet to not resign myself to it. By living in it as it is and being wise to know where I can make a difference, I do my very small part to make the world better than it is.

I think the two key words that are jumping off the page at me tonight are trust and surrender. If I can grab hold of those two concepts and really let them sink into my DNA, then I believe the rest of this prayer will follow.

May this be our prayer going forward to see that if there is to be any change in the world we live in, it must and will begin in each of us.