I want to be maladjusted

I was thinking about a speech Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. gave where he stated that he was proud to be maladjusted to things like social injustice. I like that terminology. I am also proud to be maladjusted to this world that doesn’t work and to the church when there’s too much world and not enough Word.

I want to be maladjusted to superficial relationships and fair-weather friends and to me when I am both of these.

I want to be maladjusted to when the most exclusive social circles are in church settings.

I want to be maladjusted to inauthenticity in myself and others instead of compassionately bearing one another’s burdens.

I want to be maladjusted to looking out for my own interests as I walk right past the broken and hurting without even seeing them.

I want to be maladjusted to thinking that spiritual problems can have political answers.

I want to be maladjusted to giving God my leftovers and not laying down my life for the Kingdom of Christ.

I want to be maladjusted to a self-sufficient American Church who relies on their own talents, abilities and strategies and does not cry out to the Holy Spirit out of utter need and dependency.

I want to be maladjusted to commitment-phobic Christianity when other Christians around the world are willing to pay with their lives for the privilege of what we take for granted on a daily basis.

I want to be maladjusted to anything less than building-shaking, fire-falling, Spirit-drenched revival among God’s people.

I want to be maladjusted to this world and not try to fit in, but instead be like my Lord Jesus Christ.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Who am I?

I am Jacob, for I try to manipulate and deceive every person I meet.
I am Gomer, for I whore myself after other gods and do not seek the One True God.
I am Abraham, for I lie when it suits me.
I am Esau, for I am willing to trade things of eternal worth for worthless things.
I am Cain, for my anger gets the best of me at times.
I am Moses, for I do not believe God when He says He can speak through me.
I am Judas, for I am so often ready to betray my Savior for so little.
I am David, for I sin and try to cover it up, rather than confess and be made whole.
I am Forgiven, because Jesus died for me.
I am Beloved, for God has declared me so.

A Church Without Walls (Part 2)

I see a church where we will not be afraid to stand up and declare that Jesus is Lord, that there is no other God but Yahweh, and that there is no other way to heaven but through Jesus Christ. I see a church who instead of condemning sinners, will cry out to God and repent of our lack of love and take the blame for what is wrong with our culture. I see a church who will not just give out of her excess, but will sacrifice to meet the needs of those hurting and needy. I see a church where our worship costs us something and we like David proclaim, “I will not sacrifice to the Lord that which cost me nothing.”

I see a church where it is not about being right, but about giving up your rights. Where we will turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile and keep our word even when it hurts. I see a church who tries to match their lifestyle with what they profess with their lips. I see a church where we stop pretending to be perfect people who have it all together and are so much better than everyone else. Where we admit to being broken and helpless without Jesus and to admitting that the only difference between us and the worst sinner is the grace of God at work in us.

I see a church who is not selling out to a political party or a form of government or a way of life, but who are citizens of a kingdom where the King is Jesus. Where not political might, but the power of prayer and fasting will bring about lasting change.

I see that church and as much as I want that, I have to be the first one to change. Better yet, I need to seek after a transformed heart, God’s own heart, inside me.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

A Church Without Walls (part 1)

Here’s my vision (not in the apostle John way, but just something I am hungering for lately). I see a church without walls. I see a church not bound by bricks and mortar, but made up of living stones, of people whose broken lives are being made whole. Something Henri Nouwen calls “wounded healers.” I see a church unified in purpose and dedicated to sharing everything, from joys to griefs, blessings and sorrows. I see a church where worship breaks out in front of Chick-fil-A or Starbucks. Where worship is not an event, but a lifestyle.

I see a church with real people who are authentic in their brokenness and who can be genuinely themselves. I see a church earmarked by grace and acceptance, not condemnation and judgment. I see a church with no walls between believers, because a wall between two believers is a wall that keeps a non-believer from seeing Jesus in us. I see a church where I will lay down my offering or stop my worship and go to my brother or sister in Christ and be reconciled before I write one tithe check or sing one note of praise.

I see a church who meets wherever there is a need and whenever someone is hurting. I see a church who would rather draw in the lonely, the outcast and the sinner than the perfect saints, career churchgoers and religious-types. I see a church who follows Christ, not American Christianity. The church I see is becoming my passion. I want to see Acts 2 in action. I am sick and tired of the same old routine and traditions and forms without power. I want the kind of anointing that caused thousands to come to Christ daily. I want the building to shake from the power of God inside. I want signs and wonders. I want people on the outside to see how much we love each other and be in awe of the power that God’s love in us unleashes.

The Bible says that we are living epistles, not written with ink but by the Spirit of the living God (2 Corinthians 3:2-3). We are God’s letters to the whosoevers.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

No more apologies

After talking with a couple of friends, I decided to write this blog. Not right away. I had to let the ideas simmer in my brain. Sort of like lobster. Except for without all the screaming.

God willing, I will never again apologize for being who God made me. I will never apologize for being a work in progress, a masterpiece in the making (to paraphrase Ephesians 2:10). I will never apologize for the fact that I am not perfect.

No, I am not like everybody else. I am not like anybody else. I am me. You are you. And God is God. Keep that straight and you will be fine.

I have been influenced in positive ways recently by some friends of mine. God uses people like that to make his masterpiece, like extra colors on the palette.

So here’s my thank you part of the blog. Thank you, Jerrod, Ana Liza, Stephen, Christina, Tim, John, Aaron, Michael, Luc, Paige, Brad, Julie, Richard, Hector, Mom, and many many others who have inspired me and made me a better person.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Not a good weekend

goofymonkey

I’d have to say honestly that this was not a good weekend  for me. I relapsed into some old issues of co-dependency and lack of trust. I found out that I am not nearly as strong or wise or good as I once thought. I felt as though I were under spiritual attack all weekend.

I also found out that God can still use broken people. I was reminded that His grace covers all my weaknesses. I know that God is good and that He will never give up on me. One day I will  be who I’ve always dreamed and hoped and wished I’d be. I will be everything God has dreamed for me. In the meantime, I am still Abba’s child. He still loves me as if I always did what was right and loved people the way I should and lived out of hope and not fear.

The best part of the deal is that tomorrow is a clean slate. Every morning His mercies are new. Thank you God for a love that never gives up and for hope that never fails and for grace. Especially for grace.

Praying the Blood

shutterstock_26863573_0

Jesus, I believe You. I believe Your blood has covered all my sin and vanquished every lie and broken every chain. You have overcome, and the victory is won! I am more than a conqueror through You who loved me.

By the power of Your blood, I renounce the lie that I am alone and that no one wants to know me or hear what I have to say.

By the power of Your blood, I renounce the lie that I don’t measure up or have what it takes and that I am just in the way.

By the power of Your blood, I renounce the lie that I have nothing to offer and that I might as well not even exist.

Jesus, You don’t come to me to tell me the truth. YOU ARE THE TRUTH! You don’t come to show me the way. YOU ARE THE WAY! You don’t come to give me a better life. YOU ARE MY LIFE!

You make my brokenness beautiful and my woundedness a balm of healing to others. You don’t make me good, or better, or my best. You make me ALIVE!

I will never ever find the words to tell You how good You’ve been to me. May my life be a living prayer of thanksgiving back to you. Amen.

Lessons Learned from a Life covered by the grace of God, Part 1

composition-notebook-2-22590

I have learned a few thing in my time that I want to pass on:

1) Never try to figure out anything, especially people, when you are tired. I personally tend to drift toward the negative when I am exhausted and am not really good at being balanced or fair to others when I am worn out.

2) When you are inclined to judge someone’s actions, remember that there is at least one factor that you don’t know about that person that if you knew, would cast a totally different light on their actions. Also, remember that in the same circumstances you might do the same or worse. Which leads to the next point.

3) If you err, err on the side of grace. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Of course, use common sense and don’t be a doormat, but think of what you would be apart from the grace of God and then you realize that you have no place to give up on or despair of anyone (I totally stole that one from Oswald Chambers!)

4) Remind yourself that in life and the big picture, it never was, is not and will never be about you. It always was, is and always will be about God and His redemptive plan for the world. His will for you is always in context of His plan for the world.

5) Never go by first impressions, regardless of what the world tells you. Some of the best people I know who have impacted me were the ones whose first impression was unfavorable. I think you sometimes have to step out of what is comfortable and familiar if you want to find God’s secret blessings and surprises.

6) What is important in life, what I want you to remember, is not me or how well I write or how clever I am. You can forget all about me and if you remember that God loves you, that God is in love with you, and that God can take the worthless and transform it into something priceless, then I am OK with that. As one person said, I’m just a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody that can save anybody. That’s all I am, regardless of what my ego tells me.

What are some lessons you have learned? Share them with me, because I am always learning and God always has something to show me. Plus, we only grow and mature in the faith in community. You can never discover God’s will for your life by yourself, but only with other believers as you share yourself and your gifts to serve one another in love.

That’s all for now. More later.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Taking Back the Terms

20130603004233!Dictionary_Icon

I’ve been thinking today a lot about certain words like radical, militant, fanatical and zealot. These days, those words seemed to be used almost exclusively with a negative connotation. I myself immediately think of terrorists or extreme right-wing militia groups who kill abortion doctors or church people who are always picketing something or other and chanting about how God hates this group and that group. I think it’s time we took these words back. Here’s what I mean:

Be RADICAL in serving others and sacrificing of all you are for the kingdom of Christ.

Be MILITANT is loving people as they are right now, warts and all, and living out Jesus to them.

Be FANATICAL in forgiving those who hurt, slander, and insult you; and in finding ways to display the grace of God to them (and to anyone else who has been written off as unlovable and unredeemable).

Be ZEALOUS in seeking the face of God wholeheartedly and in striving to know Him more and more all the days of your life.

I am more and more convinced that the life Jesus calls us to is radical, militant, fanatical and zealous. Anything short of that is unbiblical. This kind of life is something we can not do on our own. We need God’s power working through us. The good news is we have it. It’s “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Lord, fill us with your Spirit and give us the mind of Christ and live through us to the world around us. Make us your hands and feet, so that we may walk in your ways and go to the people You want to touch. May we see with Your eyes and feel with Your heart and go in Your strength.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Who speaks for you? (expanding on an idea I heard at Kairos)

kairos2014

When the accuser of the brethren comes against you with accusations of your past, who stands up in your defense and speaks for you?

When other people judge you and make assumptions about you, who speaks on your behalf?

When the voices in your own head are full of condemnation and shame and guilt, who will be lone voice of dissent that will overpower all the other voices?

When you yourself have reached the verdict of guily with the maximum sentence of hopelessness and despair with no chance of parole, who will take your place?

There is one. He who sits on the throne at the right hand of the Father and who ever lives to make intercession for you. Jesus is the one who speaks for you. He is the one who took the blame for all the mistakes and blunders and failures, paid the penalty for those sins and make a spectacle of triumphing over the Enemy on the cross. When all these voices are giving you names (and you give yourself names I can’t print here), Jesus is the one who gives you a new name written on a white tablet that only He knows. And one day you will know it, too.

The One who knows the most about you– and has the most right to condemn you –doesn’t. The One who spoke the first words of creation and will speak the last words at the end of all things speaks the final word on your behalf: “It is finished.” No one else will ever be able to bring up accusations against you again. Jesus is your Advocate and He will never, ever, ever, ever, ever stop fighting for you.

I’ve always loved the saying that goes something like: “When the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.”

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Thanks, Mike. These words were a revolution to my mind. I am thinking radically different than I was yesterday. Most of all, thank you, Jesus!