belief

Out of Control

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outofcontrol

Has there ever been a moment in your life when you felt out of control? Like when you stopped and looked around and wondered how in the heck you got there and how you’d ever get out of the mess you’d made?

I think EVERYBODY has felt that way to some degree or other. Kinda like King David, who started out lusting after a neighbor’s wife and ended up with not only adultery but lying and mass murder thrown in. It took a bold prophet named Nathan to get David out of his downward spiral.

You will at some point get yourself into a hot mess. You will wonder how you could have been so STUPID. You may well wonder if escape is even a possibility.

I love what I heard someone say: it’s never too late on this side of heaven to become what you might have been. It’s never too late to become the dream God had when He thought you up and gave you a purpose before anything was made. That gives me hope.

That means that those days that seem wasted, those years that seem lost have really served a purpose– to get you to where you are, with all your life experiences, good and bad, all your successes and failures– to be the person God can use to do what NO ONE else can do, to the calling only YOU can fulfill.

Even if you’re an 80-year old backwoods shepherd like Moses. Or a nobody sitting in a prison like Joseph.

God can take nobodies and confound all those who think they’re somebodies. He uses the lowly and the nothings in the world to shame all those who think they’re hot stuff. That’s my take on 1 Corinthians 1:25-30. Or as one translation puts it:

“You can count on this: God’s foolishness will always be wiser than mere human wisdom, and God’s weakness will always be stronger than mere human strength.

Look carefully at your call, brothers and sisters. By human standards, not many of you are deemed to be wise. Not many are considered powerful. Not many of you come from royalty, right? But celebrate this: God selected the world’s foolish to bring shame upon those who think they are wise; likewise, He selected the world’s weak to bring disgrace upon those who think they are strong. God selected the common and the castoff, whatever lacks status, so He could invalidate the claims of those who think those things are significant. So it makes no sense for any person to boast in God’s presence. Instead, credit God with your new situation: you are united with Jesus the Anointed. He is God’s wisdom for us and more. He is our righteousness and holiness and redemption.”

 

A Nice Surprise

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iphone-5-lightning-connector

I got a pleasant surprise today. No, it wasn’t my birthday and no, it wasn’t a surprise party, although I do like those. Hint, hint. . .

My iPhone’s been acting up. By that, I mean, I couldn’t get it to charge properly. I took it to the Verizon store where the rep told me I probably would need a new phone. He told me to try the Apple Store first.

Thankfully, I did. The issue, as it turns out, was only some pocket lint that got into the charging port of the phone and kept it from connecting. That was all.

Those are the little blessings that I used to take for granted. Now, I try to look for the good, the little blessings, and the joy around me. I usually find at least something every day.

I do think you get what you look for. If you’re always looking for things to go badly, they most likely will. If you look through eyes of cynicism, you’ll see what you want to see and find enough wrong with the world to keep your unbelief going strong.

I don’t think my optimism makes me any better than anyone else. It’s just less stressful and less tiring than the opposite. Beside, I dare you to read the Bible and not see how the Good ultimately triumphs in the end.

Oh, and a big thank you to Laura, who figured out the whole lint issue. I have to give props when they are truly due.

Life is still good, God is still great, and I am still blessed.

PS As it  turns out, I needed a new charging cord as well. That’s still waaay cheaper than a new phone. Still a win in my book.

A Prayer for the Weak

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Maybe this is your prayer tonight:

Lord, I feel like giving up tonght. It’s just not worth it anymore.

Whatever I’m desiring most seems always just out of my reach. Right now, it feels easier to quit holding on to that dream of mine.

I want to pray “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” but I don’t even have enough faith for that. I’m bankrupt when it comes to believing.

I’ve just about quit believing that I’ll ever get married. Or have children. Or that the children I do have will ever turn out right. Or that anyone will hire me. Or that I’ll ever be able to work in a place where I come alive instead of counting the hours and minutes until the weekend.

I feel like I’m completely screwing everything up. I don’t feel like anything I do matters or makes the tiniest bit of difference.

I do know that You’re still God. I do know that my impossibles aren’t impossible to You. In fact, they’re not even difficult for You.

I know You are truer than my feelings and though You seem so far away, You’re nearer to me than my next breath.

I don’t know how any of this will work out, but I know You will take care of me. Even if You deny my dreams, it’s only because they weren’t big enough for You.

I declare all these things with a faith that’s barely a blip on the radar screen. A faith that’s as small as a mustard seed. But still I declare.

So here’s me offering all I know of me to all I know of You. Take me and use me in whatever way You want. Let me know You’re near and let me feel in this moment how much You love me.

I surrender.

Being a Barnabas

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Do you have any Barnabas-type people in your life?

Barnabas was one of the first missionaries sent out by the early Church, commissioned by the Apostles themselves. His name meant “son of encouragement” and he was the one who believed in people when others couldn’t or wouldn’t. First it was Paul then later John-Mark.

When people were still afraid of Paul and wouldn’t touch him with a 10-foot pole after his murderous past, Barnabas was the one who stood up for him and helped him get his start. When that same Paul wanted to give up on John-Mark after he had a meltdown on the mission field and deserted them, Barnabas stood by the young believer, even though it meant the end of Paul and Barnabas as a missions team.

Barnabas was the one guy you wanted in your corner who wouldn’t give up on you. Although I’m fairly certain he preferred not to be called Barney, although that is strictly my own speculation.

How many times has someone been a Barnabas to you?

Maybe when you’d messed up and felt like no one should give you a second chance, someone did. Maybe that someone believed in you even when you doubted yourself and believed for you when you couldn’t find the faith to believe. Someone who encouraged and inspired and challenged you to do more than you ever thought you could.

Have you ever been Barnabas to someone else?

Maybe someone needs your encouragement right now. Maybe someone has run out of faith and doesn’t see how their circumstances will ever improve or how they will ever be useful to the Kingdom. It could be your words to inspire that person and it could be your faith that gets them through.

All I know is that no one gets through this life alone. All of us will be in need at some point and all of us will be in a position to fill a need at some point. Just remember it’s just as wrong to refuse someone’s help as it is to see someone else in need and do nothing. Either way, your robbing someone of the blessing of giving– either yourself or the other.

Remember Who stood up for you when no one else would. Remember Who took your place when you least deserved it.

Where My Trust Is Without Borders

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I think I’ve alluded to this in previous posts, but I am currently unemployed. I haven’t worked since January. There have been times, some of them very recently, when I wondered how I was going to pay my bills. That’s a scary place to be.

Then I sang a song during the 11:11 worship service at Brentwood Baptist Church. It spoke of keeping my eyes above the waves and walking out on the water to wherever God calls me to where my trust is without borders.

I honestly never thought until just now that that’s where I am. When you utterly reach the end of your resources, you find out where your faith and trust lie. You really understand that old cliched saying about never knowing how much you need God until He’s all you’ve got left.

So many can’t find jobs. So many probably have felt worthless and useless and unemployable. Like no one wants or needs what they have to offer.

But as I sang those words, a sweet peace came over me. My faith will be made stronger and I will know more deeply than ever how near my Savior is to those who cry out to Him in desperation. As weird as it sounds, the butterflies are still there. My stomach still feels tied up in knots. But I also know it will be okay in the end. No, more than okay. I will end up EXACTLY where God wants me to be and all this will totally have been worth it to get there.

So as much as I sound like a broken record, I’m still thankful for my life. I’m grateful for waking up this morning and living another 24 hours. I’m thankful for the best family and friends a guy could ever ask for who have stuck with me through good and bad, thick and thin (and through all sorts of other overused phrases like these).

Sometimes, faith really is believing when common sense tells you not to. It may not always look courageous. Sometimes, it may look like barely holding it together and summoning every ounce of strength to not quit on God. It may be praying the most honest prayer ever recorded in history: “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief” and making it through the next five minutes.

All I know is that I have never seen God forsaking His own. I have never seen their families abandoned or left wanting (my paraphrase of a Proverb). I haven’t seen God fail me or let me down or let go of me.

I do still believe, Lord. Help my unbelief. Amen.

A prayer for My Future Wife in 2014

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Lord,

You know how tired I am from waiting. You know how weak my faith is and how unstable my belief can be.

I’m still holding onto that mustard seed-sized faith, clutching it with everything I’ve got, with all my heart and strength and soul and mind. I want to rest tonight not in Your promises or provisions, but in Your person, Your character, in You.

Lord, I’m still believing in the miracle that some woman will fall in love with me and want to spend the rest of her life with me. It seems impossible sometimes, but then I remember the words of a pastor: what seems impossible to me isn’t even remotely difficult for you.

I’m praying you will be with her tonight and envelop her with your peace and surround her with your everlasting arms. May her joy be full as she rests in you, completely comfortable in who You’ve made her to be and in Whose she is– Yours.

May she cast aside every hindrance, every distraction, every clamoring voice, and run only after You, her true heart’s desire. May she keep a single-minded focus on Your Son, Jesus, and not fall into the lies and deceptions that tell her she is not enough.

May you bring her into my life, but not until the time that both she and I are ready– and not a moment sooner. Help her faith not to falter and her trust to remain stedfast and secure in You only.

Help me to be the man who can win her heart and guard it until the day you ask for it back. Help me to become the man who will help her to unveil all the beauty and wisdom and lovingkindness you have placed in her so she will become all that you created her to be.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief. And hers, too.

Amen.

If It Hadn’t Been for Those Meddling Hypocrites!

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For some odd reason today, I thought about the movie Annie Hall and a great line. Woody Allen’s character says something to the effect of: “I wouldn’t want to be a part of a club that would have me for a member.”

Then I thought of all those people who stay away from church because of all the hypocrites. So here are my thoughts on that.

First of all, if you never went any place where there were hypocrites, you’d be at home alone in the dark with your pet ferret. You’d never go anywhere for fear of running into one of those hypocrites. You might even have a hard time looking in the mirror, because . . .

That’s right. You’re a hypocrite. So am I. We’ve all pretended to be something or somebody we’re not from time to time. We’ve played the calm dispassionate part when we’re falling apart and screaming on the inside.

Society teaches us to be hypocrites, to never let our true selves out but to only show what is culturally acceptable and normal. You can be yourself as long as that fits a certain cookie-cutter mold.

If there’s anyplace where you can be you, it should be the Church. If there’s a place where you can let your guard down and admit your hurts and flaws, it should be in the midst of the body of Christ.

Churches aren’t perfect because Christians aren’t perfect. As the old joke goes, if you find the perfect church don’t go there because you’ll ruin it with your imperfections.

Church is about doing life together and figuring it all out together. And if you’re not getting anything out of it, maybe that means you’re not putting in your fair share. Isn’t faith about more than just receiving? Isn’t there the part of giving and losing yourself?

I’m glad I’ve found a church where I feel like I belong, where I matter, where I can be a part of what God is doing in the world. I hope you find a place where you can feel like family, too.

Authenticity

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authenticity

I did one of those personality analysis tests and was not too surprised at the results. Basically, it turns out that I’m an idealist who wants to make a difference in the world around him. I pretty much knew that.

The test also said that I am drawn toward authenticity.

I think there are few who wouldn’t want some kind of authenticity in their lives, to be in a place where they can truly be themselves. Not only that, but a place where the people around them are just as genuine.

Ideally, the Church is just the place where that should happen.

Sadly, that’s the last place you find true authenticity these days.

These days, especially in the American Church, most believers feel they have to wear the “super spiritual, got it all together” mask and act as if their lives are perfect. Very few feel comfortable being open and honest about their struggles, addictions, and fears for fear of being judged and condemned.

That’s sad. That’s also not at all the Church Jesus had in mind when He prayed that they be united and one just as He and the Father are one. That’s not the Church portrayed in Acts as sharing possessions and helping out the less fortunate.

That’s not the kind that will draw the hurting and helpless, the kind Jesus told us to reach out to.

Pretending to be perfect is a damaging facade in two ways. First, it’s an impossible illusion to maintain because no one is perfect. Second, it creates the false image that to become a believer, you can’t have any issues or problems or sin-issues.

I think what people are looking for when they look to believers are people who make mistakes and fess up to those mistakes, who fail miserably and pick themselves up and move on, who have flaws and choose to see the good in themselves and others.

I’m praying that I can live with that kind of authenticity. I’m praying you will seek to be just as honest and real and transparent in your own lives as well.

Remember, God above all knows your deepest secrets, your utmost failures and flaws, and loves you just as you are. Not as you wish you could be or how you see yourself on your very best days but just exactly as you are when you’re feeling lowest.

That’s the kind of love I’m craving and the only kind of love that can change me into someone who can love others the same way.

 

The Kingdom of God and My Expectations

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kingdomofheaven3

In the Gospels, there’s a part where the crowds that had been chanting hosannas about Jesus suddenly did a 180 and started shouting for his crucifixion. I”ve always wondered why the sudden about-face?

Then I got to thinking. Maybe it’s because Jesus didn’t fulfill their expectations of what the Messiah would show up and what the Kingdom He ushered in would look like.

They were fixated on the idea of a political Messiah routing the Romans and restoring the rule of Israel to the Israelites. They looked for Jesus to lead an army prepared to fight, but what they saw was Jesus teaching a rag-tag following about going the extra mile and turning the other cheek. So the crowds turned on him.

I wonder if I don’t have false expectations of the Kingdom of God. Maybe we all do.

Maybe we think of the Kingdom of God in terms of electing Christians into Congress and the Senate and getting our kinds of laws passed. Or maybe the Kingdom of God is seen as a kind of utopia where there are no poor people and where we all share and share alike.

I personally have thought of the Kingdom of God in terms of where Christians are the majority and where we have a lot of power and influence.

But the truth of the matter is that the Kingdom of God is nothing more or less than the presence of God among His people. It is His rule and reign. It is now AND not yet.

Sometimes, I’ve thought the Kingdom of God meant an uninterrupted pathway to peace and prosperity and success. I’m finding out that it’s not. More often, the Kingdom of God looks like persecution and suffering. It looks like losing.

But Jesus said that in the Kingdom, the first would be last and the least would be the greatest. He said that whoever wanted to save his life had to start off by losing it.

In my own experience, it means that I’m not promised a 100% success rate or comfort or prosperity. I am promised that Jesus will always be with me and never leave or forsake me.

I know there’s a whole lot more to the Kingdom of God, but these are some thoughts I’ve had recently and I thought I’d share them with you. May these words bring you comfort and hope and may the God of all comfort and hope be with you.

A Really Good Question

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While I was house/dog-sitting at a friend’s house, i was channel surfing. I ran across a program that was just getting started on TBN.

Normally, I avoid that channel like the plague, but the program featured Max Lucado, one of my favorite authors, so I gave it a shot. As it turns out, I did indeed choose wisely.

Max spoke on Joseph of Old Testament fame losing everything he had– possessions, family, reputation, freedom. He was literally looking up from the lowest point in his life at one point.

Then Max asked a profound question: “What do you still have that you cannot lose?”

Maybe you’ve lost your health. Or a job. Maybe it was a spouse. Or a child.

Maybe you’ve lost your reputation.

Whatever it is, there’s one thing you can’t lose. Your destiny as a child of God. Because God looked down on you at your very worst and said, “I choose that one. I want him. I have great plans for her.”

Your identity isn’t lost when you lose everything. You are still God’s. He still loves you and still has your name tattooed on His hands and on His heart.

Joseph was faithful to His destiny and God rewarded him. And so he will reward you. Maybe not in this lifetime, but you can bet there is nothing you’ve lost that won’t be restored a thousandfold over.

I love how Max said that our lives aren’t the dashes between our birth-dates and death-dates. They’re more like a grain of sand on the beach of the eternity of God’s stedfast love. I like that.

Maybe I should watch TBN more often.