My Deepest Awareness

“When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games. Aristotle said I am a rational animal; I say I am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.
To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God’s grace means. As Thomas Merton put it, ‘A saint is not someone who is good but who experiences the goodness of God.’

The gospel of grace nullifies our adulation of televangelists, charismatic superstars, and local church heroes. It obliterates the two-class citizenship theory operative in many American churches. For grace proclaims the awesome truth that all is gift. All that is good is ours not by right but by the sheer bounty of a gracious God. While there is much we may have earned–our degree and our salary, our home and garden, a Miller Lite and a good night’s sleep–all this is possible only because we have been given so much: life itself, eyes to see and hands to touch, a mind to shape ideas, and a heart to beat with love. We have been given God in our souls and Christ in our flesh. We have the power to believe where others deny, to hope where others despair, to love where others hurt. This and so much more is sheer gift; it is not reward for our faithfulness, our generous disposition, or our heroic life of prayer. Even our fidelity is a gift, ‘If we but turn to God,’ said St. Augustine, ‘that itself is a gift of God.’

My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it” (Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out).

Occasionally, I like to bring in special guest writers. By that, I mean that I am too tired (and/or lazy) to do my own writing and I quote from a writer who expresses my own thoughts better than I ever could ( with the lone exception about having an incredible capacity for beer, which I do not). This is why I named by blog The Ragamuffin Gospel.

My Rights

For the record, I am not one of those teetotalers who are against everything remotely fun. I have no problem with those who have the occasional beer or glass of wine. I’m okay with dancing. Even the Macarena.

I have noticed a disturbing Facebook trend among people who profess to be believers. One post will be about how much they love Jesus and the next will be along the lines of “I’ll live my life however I want and don’t you dare judge me” and “It’s my right to do whatever I feel like because I know God will forgive me in the end.”

I love what my pastor said: no one will stand in front of Jesus with His nail-scarred hands and feet and argue about their rights. Anyone who truly follows Jesus has laid down their rights.

If anyone had the right to insist upon his rights, it would have been Jesus. Yet that very same Jesus didn’t insist on clinging to His equality with God or His heavenly authority. He laid all that down and emptied Himself, becoming an obedient slave willing to go through torture and death instead of claiming His own rights.

No one has the right to cause a brother or sister to stumble, like drinking a beer or a glass of wine in front of a fellow believer who struggles with addiction to alcohol. The Apostle Paul says that while everything may be permissible, not everything is beneficial or helpful.

The verse that always convicts me is the one that says that whatever isn’t done in faith is sin. For me, a non-drinker, there have been lots of times I’ve sinned by not acting in faith.

The question isn’t “Do I have the right?” The question is “How will this honor and glorify Jesus?”

Ultimately, I laid down my rights when I said yes to Jesus and decided to follow Him. I was bought with a price and Jesus owns me completely. That includes my rights.

My prayer is that my life will be my witness to how good God is and that there will be nothing in my life that impairs that witness in any way. I hope that’s your prayer, too.

PS I know that I am prone to a judgmental spirit at times, but I hope you’ve read these words from a perspective of grace. I know I’ve messed up way too much to ever condemn anyone else for anything. We all need Jesus every moment of every day.