beautiful thing

A Letter to a Younger Me

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

measkid

Right now, you don’t like yourself very much. You don’t think anybody else does, either. You don’t like being you and sometimes you wish you could be somebody else. Anybody else. Or maybe it would be better if you didn’t exist at all.

You’re wrong.

You’d be surprised at how many people really do like you. You’d be even more surprised at how many people don’t think badly of you, because they’re too busy with their own pain and insecurity and doubt to have time to think about you that much.

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: you be the best you possible. Those who matter won’t mind and those who mind don’t matter. It’s that simple.

You daring to be you is a beautiful thing.

You choosing to be yourself makes God smile because He made you that way and He never makes anything ugly or second-rate or worthless.

So take time to laugh at yourself and be a little crazy, a little goofy, a little uncool. Remember that everything really will be fine in the end, and if it’s not fine, it only means it’s not the end yet.

It’s a Beautiful Thing

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It’s a beautiful thing when you are grateful for waking up each morning and fully appreciate all the blessings you have been taking for granted.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can raise your hands in worship as fervantly in when life is falling apart as when life is going great.

It’s a beautiful thing when you’re in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way and you realize you’re perfectly content to be friends with that person and to be the best friend you can be.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can release your child to be all God made him or her to be, even if that takes him or her half a world away.

It’s a beautiful thing when you see your marriage as a chance for you to love your spouse unconditionally like Christ loved the Church.

It’s a beautiful thing when you have no reason anymore to hope, but hope remains.

It’s a beautiful thing when you’ve fallen for the thousandth time, but you get up one more time, thankful for Grace that never gives up.

It’s a beautiful thing when you say goodbye to friends but hold them in your heart at the same time and know that distance is no great barrier for those God has brought together in friendship.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can say “Thy will be done,” even if it means saying “All my dreams and plans and desires be undone” at the same time.

It’s a beautiful thing when you can pray, “God, use me however, wherever, and whenever you want. I give you my money, my time, my body, and my very life for Your Kindom.”

It’s a beautiful thing when you stop praying for blessings and start praying to be a blessing.

It’s a beautiful thing when you become a conduit for God’s power and love to flow through to the world and God can see people with your eyes, go to them with your feet, touch them with your hands, and love them with your heart.

It’s a beautiful thing indeed.

A Little Note for Us Co-dependents Out There

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Hi, my name is Greg, and I’m a recovering co-dependent. Maybe you are, too. Here’s how you know you are with me in this.

Maybe you have lain awake at night like me, agonizing over how you’ve really messed up and offended a particular person. You’re positive that the relationship is ruined and that person will never ever talk to you again. The next day, that person was totally fine with you.

Maybe you’ve posted or blogged or texted and not gotten any responses or likes. Maybe you felt ignored or like what you had to say wasn’t important. Or really, deep down inside, that you weren’t important for anybody to bother with.

Maybe you’ve sat and stared at that sidebar on facebook that tells you which friends are currently on facebook and looked for a green dot beside a particular name. If you’re anything like me, you’ve wondered, “Why isn’t this person ever online when I’m online? Are they avoiding me?” while wondering what kind of medication you probably need to be taking right about now.

Maybe you thought that if anyone really knew the real you, they wouldn’t stick around. You probably have felt that eventually all your relationships will end because the other person will decide that you’re just not worth the effort anymore.

Maybe you’ve wondered why a certain person, instead of sitting next to you, chose to sit in the row behind you. Maybe you were feeling like a leper and thinking, “Am I really that much of a freak?” Even though you know that’s not true, it’s one thing to know it in your head and entirely another thing to receive it with your heart.

Maybe you overanalyze every word and action and are always on a crazy see-saw ride of “he/she really likes me” to “maybe they don’t like me anymore” to “well, I guess I blew that chance.”

Maybe you define yourself by what others tell you. Maybe you need constant affirmation and approval to feel normal. The sad part is that it’s never enough. You think if someone likes your post, “Why didn’t they comment?” or if they commented, “Well, geez. That was a bit impersonal.” It’s never enough.

Maybe you’ve been attracted to someone and killed the idea before it even had a chance. You’ve thought, “There’s no way she (or he) will ever like me as anything more than a friend” or “There’s probably a dozen or more people she (or he) would be better off with.” You read into innocent little actions as signs that the interest isn’t reciprocated.

The beautiful part is that God has already told us who we are. We are the Beloved, Sons and Daughters of the King, Wonderfully and Fearfully Made in His Image, Redeemed, Beautiful, and Exactly Who He Made Us to be.

God is pleased with you and me as we are, not as we should be or will be, because He sees Jesus in us.

Also, God puts people in our lives who love us regardless, who encourage and bless us daily, and who won’t ever walk out on us. People who give just the right words at just the right time to lift our spirits.

It’s been a long process for me, but the healing has been a beautiful thing to see. I could not have written this two years ago (and probably not even one year ago). I am amazed at what God does in a life where He’s given even the tiniest amount of room to work.

I am living proof that God can change anybody anywhere at anytime, no matter how far gone or hopeless they seem. I love the saying that what seems impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for God.