April 5

Henri Nouwen and Lent in 2015

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“O Lord, this holy season of Lent is passing quickly. I entered into it with fear, but also with great expectations. I hoped for a great breakthrough, a powerful conversion, a real change of heart; I wanted Easter to be a day so full of light that not even a trace of darkness would be left in my soul.

But I know that you do not come to your people with thunder and lightning. Even St. Paul and St. Francis journeyed through much darkness before they could see your light. Let me be thankful for your gentle way. I know you are at work. I know you will not leave me alone. I know you are quickening me for Easter – but in a way fitting to my own history and my own temperament.

I pray that these last three weeks, in which you invite me to enter more fully into the mystery of your passion, will bring me a greater desire to follow you on the way that you create for me and to accept the cross that you give to me. Let me die to the desire to choose my own way and select my own desire. You do not want to make me a hero but a servant who loves you.

Be with me tomorrow and in the days to come, and let me experience your gentle presence. Amen” (Henri Nouwen).

I think that says everything that’s in my heart in this season of Lent leading up to Easter Sunday on April 5, especially the part of dying to choosing my own way and selecting my own desire. That’s me. I have my own dreams and ideas of how my life should play out. God has different dreams and ideas for me. Seeing as how God’s ways are so much higher and better than mine, I would do well to yield to His ways over mine.

Lord, I lay my life at your feet. Make it shine brightly for You and for others to see You, regardless of the cost to me. Amen.

My Social Media Break Update

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You’re probably aware that I’m taking a break from social media for Lent. I found out today that Easter this year falls on April 5, meaning that I have roughly four more weeks to go. So far so good.

I’d like to tell you that I’ve been super spiritual and devoted all my newly-acquired spare time to prayer and Bible reading. I have managed to read more books and catch up on my Netflix queue. And read more of my Bible.

For me, it’s all about getting away from social media so that it doesn’t run my life. Too much time spent on Facebook and Instagram can feed into my perceived need for approval. It’s easy to feel good when lots of people comment on my posts and conversely, to feel isolated and ignored when they don’t. And I don’t just speak for me. I speak to most of you out there.

So I’m finding out that the wonderful world of social media didn’t fall apart without me. It kept right on going. I also found out that I didn’t go to pieces without my daily Facebook fix. So far, I’ve managed to keep most of my sanity (and hair).

One day, I’ll be really brave and disconnect from all things electronic. Maybe that will be for next Lent– give up television AND social media. Now that’d really be a challenge.

For now, I confess that I’m not as spiritual and disciplined and dedicated as I’d like to be. I also can state that I’ve gone three weeks without social media without falling off any wagons. I call that a win.

Most of all, I’m reminded again that God is faithful, even when I am faith-less. He is faithful to finish that good work He started in me and has even invited me to be a part of the great work He’s doing all around me.

Lent is the best reminder I know that it’s still not about me, no matter what I tell myself. And yes, I needed that reminder yet again.