approval-addiction

Things I Love 14: Back to Life, Back to Reality

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

island hammock

OK, I confess. I’ve slacked off from reading the book that I said was so amazing, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. It’s still amazing, but I’ve been distracted from reading by a multitude of things, mostly involving my ADD. So I do plan to resume reading the book at some point, but I continue with the list currently, starting at #322.

322) Those of you who are old enough now have that song by Soul II Soul stuck in your head, thanks to my oh-so-clever subtitle.

323) Grabbing coffee with friends at the multiple coffee locations around town (and I would love to meet any of you for coffee and conversation, preferably at The Frothy Monkey or The Well, but Starbucks works just as well).

324) When the Word of God comes alive to me and speaks to my life in powerful ways.

325) Fellow cat-lovers who understand that cats aren’t dogs, but can be very loving in their own ways.

326) Finally being able to speak the truth in love and not have the co-dependent, approval-addicted part of me worried sick about losing the friend.

327) Orange popsicles.

328) Still getting a kick out of trying to type out a word and accidentally typing the word “poop.”

329) The people who get my weirdness and love me anyway.

330) The honesty and vulnerability of the teaching pastor at Kairos, Mike Glenn.

331) Singing along with Stevie Wonder in the car (well, not actually Stevie Wonder, but his songs).

332) That Stevie Wonder is not driving the car while I’m listening to his music in my car.

333) I’m officially 1/3 of the way through my list of 1,000 things I love.

334) Really small Bibles.

335) God loving me when I’m most selfish and petty and whiny.

336) When friends have every right to write me off, but choose to give me grace instead.

337) Recognizing a thought for the lie that it is and taking it captive through the power of Christ in me.

338) One-hit wonders from the 90’s.

339) The Cheesecake Factory.

340) The Mall at Green Hills (even though parking there is a nightmare).

341) Because of Jesus goodbyes are only temporary.

342) Feeling God’s pleasure over me when I run.

343) Learning more about Jesus from faith-traditions that are different than mine.

344) The spicy chicken sandwich from Chick-fil-A.

345) The steak bowl from Chipotle with Smoked Chipotle Tobasco sauce on it (to add a little extra kick to the flavor).

346) Food in general.

347) My $5 polarized sunglasses from Savannah, Georgia that I still somehow have not managed to lose yet.

348) Being able to use the suffering and hardship in my own life to help someone else who’s going through something similar.

349) Little baby shoes. Even though I don’t have kids yet, I love how they can make boots and sandals and tennis shoes so small.

350) That I’m now going to start calling my tennis shoes “tenny runners” just to be different.

Advice for the Healing

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I have a word of advice for those in the healing process. Don’t rush it.

I know. It sounds a little odd. You’re probably wanting the pain to end as quickly as possible and to be able to move on with your life as close to normally as you were before.

But there is such a thing as healing too quickly. Kinda like when you have your wisdom teeth taken out and the incisions heal before the infection can get out (I borrowed that from Mike Glenn and Kairos).

You should want to be well and healthy and whole, not just functional and better.

You want Jesus to walk you through your pain, not give you a short-cut around it, so that at the end you can truly say that Jesus in you overcame that hurt and you will never have to deal with that particular issue ever again.

If you are dealing with something like approval-addiction, you may wake up one morning and feel like a million bucks. You may feel like the opinions of others don’t matter and you have finally conquered your demon.

But feeling like you’re healed and being healed are often two very different things. You can never trust feelings as a barometer for health, because feelings are fickle and influenced by so many things.

So, let Jesus take His time with you. Let others in on the process and let them speak life into you during this time. If you try to heal by yourself, you will never find true wholeness.

And believe Jesus when He said that He will finish what He started in you. You will be everything He made you to be one day soon and you will know what it’s like to live out of a wholeness that can only come from being hidden in Jesus.

That’s my advice for the day. And take two aspirin and call me in the morning.

Addictions: Lessons from Tonight’s Kairos

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

When you think of the word addiction, you probably think of the junkie with the needle in his arm or the guy staggering from a bar at 2 am, too drunk to even be able to walk in a straight line.

But maybe addiction looks like the man who works 80 hours a week every week or uses food as comfort to ease the pain he can’t handle. Maybe you’re like me and your addiction is the approval of others. Whatever it is, you’re not alone and there’s hope.

The story of recovery from addiction is the story of moving from slavery to freedom. The Bible says that you are a slave to whatever you choose to obey, whether that be God or a controlled substance or a relationship or a hobby or a career.

Whatever it is, it’s a form of idolatry. You are giving power to something or someone other than God to hold your life together. The thing is that nothing else has the power, the weight, to keep your life together and keep you from spinning out of control.

I loved what Mike Glenn said. He says that Jesus doesn’t stop by your unraveling life to inform you that you’re going to hell. He comes to you in your moment of greatest weakness and says, “You are Mine. You belong to Me. And you don’t have to stay here in slavery.”

You will never overcome addiction alone. You need someone else, whether that be an accountability partner or a 12-step group. It takes time and work.

Jesus died so you wouldn’t have to be beholden to anything ever again. He died to provide you a way out.

The hard part is that often Jesus will take you and walk you through the painful event or memory that you’ve been trying so hard to anesthesize or drown out or numb or run away from. He will take you through it rather than throwing you over it, and you face it and overcome it and never have to be afraid of it ever again.

If God is for you, who can ever be against you? No one. Nothing. And if God said it, that settles it, whether you believe it or not.

I have never been a drug addict or an alcoholic, but as a recovering approval-addict, I know that there is freedom and victory in the name of Jesus. I know what it is through His mighty name to overcome and triumph.

I am learning not to rush the healing process, but to believe that the healing is happening. There is joy in seeing the shackles and chains of addiction and strongholds fall away and you find that you are walking in freedom for the first time.

That’s what I pray for each of you– freedom.