Ann Voskamp

My Favorite Day

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If you asked me right now what my favorite day was, I’d have today it’s today.

Today is the day I’m alive. Today is the day I’m given– not tomorrow or yesterday, but right now.

I found out today that my cat Lucy is 76 in cat years. She’s no spring chicken. As much as I’d love for her to live forever, I know she won’t. There’ll be a day when I’ll have to say goodbye to my little furry friend.

The point of that isn’t to be excessively morbid, but to remind myself that I have her today. That’s why today is best.

I’ve said it many times before and I don’t claim that it’s my own original thought, but gratitude is what makes me love today. Gratitude makes what you have enough, as one of my favorite writers, Ann Voskamp, put it. Finding joy in each moment comes from giving thanks for the little blessings that I normally take for granted.

I’m not saying today was my best day ever in terms of one of those magical movie days where you get the dream girl and win the lottery.

I ran the media at my church today and managed not to blow anything up. I made less mistakes than the last time and felt more comfortable in what I was doing. Plus, I really felt that God used my small contribution in helping people draw closer to Jesus.

I had a good lunch at Chipotle. I went to Office Depot and found a phone cover for my iPhone 5 for only  . . . wait for it . . . . $5. I call that a win.

I got to see my sister and her family and her lovable dog that I get to take care of from time to time.

That’s the operative word. Like I heard in a sermon, the life of the believer itsn’t a “have-to” but a “get-to.” I get to worship Jesus, not just in that one hour when I’m singing songs or hearing God’s Word read aloud, but hopefully 24/7 in whatever I’m doing to the glory of God. I get to find out about Him through His word and through sharing life together with fellow believers. That’s a good thing.

So I’ll agree with that ol’ bear. Today is my favorite day.

Some 4th of July Thoughts

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I did my patriotic duty and witnessed a good fireworks display, courtesy of the town of Nolensville. That part was great. The drive home in the ridiculous traffic was not. Fortunately, I had some old-school Rod Stewart to keep me motivated.

I had some thoughts while I was staring at the taillights from the car in front of me that had little or nothing to do with being stuck in traffic (except for the abundance of time provided):

It doesn’t matter that you’re making really good time if you’re headed in the wrong direction. There’s no prize for getting to the wrong place early.

If you’re climbing that proverbial ladder of success, make sure it’s leaning against the right building. True failure is succeeding at things that don’t really matter while neglecting those that do matter. Like neglecting your family for the almighty dollar.

Cherish the moments you’re given, knowing that there will be more moments later, but none will be exactly like this one. Ditto for cherishing relationships.

I think that covers the extent of my enlightenment. Mostly, I was wondering how long it would take me to drive the distance that normally takes 15 minutes. And trying not to cuss. Just keeping it real, folks.

I’m thinking next year I may camp out at the fireworks site and drive home in the morning. Who’s with me?

Where My Trust Is Without Borders

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I think I’ve alluded to this in previous posts, but I am currently unemployed. I haven’t worked since January. There have been times, some of them very recently, when I wondered how I was going to pay my bills. That’s a scary place to be.

Then I sang a song during the 11:11 worship service at Brentwood Baptist Church. It spoke of keeping my eyes above the waves and walking out on the water to wherever God calls me to where my trust is without borders.

I honestly never thought until just now that that’s where I am. When you utterly reach the end of your resources, you find out where your faith and trust lie. You really understand that old cliched saying about never knowing how much you need God until He’s all you’ve got left.

So many can’t find jobs. So many probably have felt worthless and useless and unemployable. Like no one wants or needs what they have to offer.

But as I sang those words, a sweet peace came over me. My faith will be made stronger and I will know more deeply than ever how near my Savior is to those who cry out to Him in desperation. As weird as it sounds, the butterflies are still there. My stomach still feels tied up in knots. But I also know it will be okay in the end. No, more than okay. I will end up EXACTLY where God wants me to be and all this will totally have been worth it to get there.

So as much as I sound like a broken record, I’m still thankful for my life. I’m grateful for waking up this morning and living another 24 hours. I’m thankful for the best family and friends a guy could ever ask for who have stuck with me through good and bad, thick and thin (and through all sorts of other overused phrases like these).

Sometimes, faith really is believing when common sense tells you not to. It may not always look courageous. Sometimes, it may look like barely holding it together and summoning every ounce of strength to not quit on God. It may be praying the most honest prayer ever recorded in history: “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief” and making it through the next five minutes.

All I know is that I have never seen God forsaking His own. I have never seen their families abandoned or left wanting (my paraphrase of a Proverb). I haven’t seen God fail me or let me down or let go of me.

I do still believe, Lord. Help my unbelief. Amen.

For When You’re Feeling Anxious

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It’s February. And unless you’re living in Hawaii with all those palm trees and beaches, it’s cold.

My feelings on cold weather go something like this: if it’s gonna be this cold, it might as well snow, or what’s the point?

Maybe you’re feeling more than just cold. Maybe you’re feeling anxious or stressed.

Perhaps you’re out of a job and wondering how that big stack of bills is going to get paid. Or where they money is going to come from to put gas in the car. Or food on the table.

Maybe you’re still single and wondering when (or even if) that special someone will ever come along.

Maybe you’re children don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore and you don’t know how to get through to them anymore.

Maybe it’s just a combination of a million little things all rolled up into one big case of anxiety.

Don’t you know that Jesus didn’t come to bring your peace?

He came to be your peace. He is after all the Prince of Peace.

That’s what all of us who are overwhelmed with worry and stress need to remember. Jesus may not take away all those things that cause anxiety, but He promises to walk with us through every trial, every tribulation, and every dark valley.

Jesus has already overcome whatever you’re afraid of. Nothing can touch you apart from God’s permission. And absolutely nothing can come between you and the love of your Abba Father.

Sometimes, you need medicine to make those anxieties go away. That doesn’t make you less spiritual. It just means your brain needs a little help to function normally.

I love the line from that movie, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel: Everything will be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.

My Exciting Friday

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Once again, I’m thankful for Friday. I love how Friday always comes around every week, whether it’s been a great or a really bad week.

I didn’t really have much of a plan. I spent part of the evening with family and part of it in front of the iPad watching Netflix. More specifically, the first episodes of Upstairs, Downstairs and Call the Midwife. Both are BBC series, in case you were wondering.

They can’t all be super exciting and thrilling, right? Sometimes, you need a nice quiet evening at home. Even if you are the ultimate life of the party, like me. Or my cat Lucy.

I have no concrete plans for the remainder of the weekend. I am as always open to suggestions and invitations. I will bring chips and corny jokes.

I can’t help thinking of a Good Friday that didn’t seem so good at the time. They had just crucified Jesus. The most unthinkable and unimaginable had actually happened. Jesus, God in the flesh, was dead.

Of course, we know the rest of the story. That’s what makes Good Friday good.

All we did to Jesus couldn’t stop Him. Not even death and a cold grave could hold Him. After all, nothing is stronger than Love. Not hate, not indifference, not death. Nothing.

When Jesus went into that tomb, He took my sins with Him, but when He came out on Sunday, He left them behind with those grave clothes. I love that part.

So it’s not a bad Friday after all.

New Year’s Adam 2013

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Ok, so you’re probably wondering what the heck I mean by New Year’s Adam. Think of it this way: Adam came before Eve, so New Year’s Adam comes before New Year’s Eve.

Now that we’ve got our terms defined, let us proceed.

I’m both glad and sorry to see 2013 go. But mostly glad.

It’s been a trying year with lack of stability in the employment and financial areas. I’ve had to reassess my view of relationships and realize that sometimes it is good and healthy to give up on certain relationships and move on rather than stay and risk further disappointment and hurt.

Yet I’ve known more intimately how God can sustain me and hold me up in the midst or turmoil and uncertainty. I’ve learned to count it all joy and find my miracle by living out of eucharisteo, or thanksgiving with joy and gladness.

Most of my loved ones are still here. Most of my friends have stuck around and remained as encouraging and positive as ever. Even some of the weight I lost has found it’s way back home. Boo.

I haven’t set any new year’s resolutions yet. I may not. Those generally tend to flame out in the first month anyway. I’m more inclined to let God lead and concentrate more on seeking Him in a more disciplined and consistent way than in 2013.

I still have three movies I haven’t seen from last year’s list of best picture nominees. I should probably get around to thar before the new list gets revealed.

I’m thinking 2014 will be a good year because it will be God’s year. I’m anticipating and expecting more than ever that He will show up in every area of my life and do great things.

More to come tomorrow.

One Second and One Year Later

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“What was intended to tear you apart, God intends it to set you apart. What has torn you, God makes a thin place to see glory” (Ann Voskamp, The Greatest Gift).

I just realized today that it’s been exactly one year today since I got hit by that car. And for those who weren’t keeping up with my blogs or my Facebook posts then, I got hit by a car. FYI.

I was crossing the street in downtown Franklin, ticket in hand to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I didn’t look both ways before crossing and stepped in front of a Ford Mustang. Hey, I only get hit by the finest American-made vehicles.

I actually only got side-swiped. It was enough to knock me down and to take off the side-view mirror of the car.

I felt worse for the young girl driving the car than for me. She was so apologetic and remorseful. And it really wasn’t her fault. I was the one crossing where there wasn’t a crosswalk, walking without looking.

Even now, it’s easy to wonder what would have happened if I’d waited one second. Just one second.

I’d have seen that movie. I’d have skipped a few hours in the ER. I’d still have roughly $1,600 in my pocket.

I’m sure you’ve done that.

Maybe it’s a word or a phrase spoken in the heat of the moment out of frustration or anger.

Maybe it’s a bad decision made in haste or out of desperation or anxiety or exhaustion.

Maybe it’s the friendship you ruined or the family member you drove off with an insensitive remark or unkind word.

Maybe it’s one false step on a slick spot in the garage or on a slippery patch of ice on some stairs.

You wonder what it would be like if you could just have that one second back to do over.

I know two things: 1) if you could go back, you’d erase every good thing that’s happened since, and 2) you can’t go back anyway (at least not without a 1985 DeLorean or some other time-travelling device).

What you can do is:

1) Be thankful that you’re still here and that you’re still alive and blessed with life and friends and comforts and (best of all) God Himself.

2) Remember that God can turn even the worst moments of your life into stories worth hearing, stories that make people want to know more about your God.

3) All really and truly is grace (something I borrowed from Ann Voskamp). Nothing that happens to you is in vain or needless. God works everything– and I mean EVERYTHING– together for your good and His glory.

I finally got to see that movie. My finger looks a bit funny but it still works. I look both ways EVERY time before crossing the street now. Life is still good, God is still great, and I am still very much blessed.

I Wonder as I Wander

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I came home from a Christmas Eve service a little bummed. Not for any specific reason. Just that I was tired and thinking once again about all I didn’t have instead of what I do.

Then I saw it. I saw the setting sun reflected off the still waters of a shallow pond. It was almost as if God gave me that moment to remind me that what I DO have matters so much more than what I DON’T.

I started wondering a few things:

I wonder if Mary mourned the loss of all she gave up when God called her. I know it seems strange, almost sacreligious, to think such a thing.

But Mary was a teenager who must have had her own dreams and her own fantasies of how her life would turn out. None of them involved an unexplainable (in human terms) pregnancy or giving birth to a Son whom she would witness being unfairly tried, tortured, and publicly executed.

God’s dreams often require that we give up not just bad things, but even some good and even very good things if they’re not God’s best for us. Letting go of those things can feel like a death knell to our hearts even if we know something better is coming.

Mary could have had a normal marriage with normal children and been well-respected in her community and taken no flack. But no one would ever have remembered her name.

God has a dream for you in His heart that sometimes won’t make sense. At times, it will feel too much like a letting go and giving up of much that we hold dear. It will be painful at times, like losing a part of your heart.

The payoff is so much more than worth it. Mary got to see the Messiah, hold Him in her arms, see Him grow up, and watch Him prove that not even that horrific death could hold Him down.

She got to see with her own eyes the salvation of the world. Her own salvation.

I call that more than worth it.

A Prayer Before Sleep

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Lord,

I confess that I am selfish and self-centered, like so many of your children. My comfort comes first and I don’t want to be inconvenienced in any way.

Remind me how you gave up all your comforts above to come dwell among us.

Remind me how you chose a poor teenage girl and a backwoods town and a dirty feeding trough to make your entrance into this world. There was nothing comfortable or convenient about Your arrival.

Remind me how the first to hear the good news weren’t royalty or the high-ranking or the well-to-do but some lowly unwashed shepherds out with their flocks. They were your first evangelists, your first preachers, your first missionaries.

Remind me how you gave up Heaven and all the rights associated with it and chose to become nothing, a slave who was faithful and obedient to the point of a tortuous and excruciating death on a cross.

Remind me how it was all for me. It was all for people just like me.

Never let me forget that you went through all that because you would rather go through hell for me than be in Heaven without me.

Tell me again how You are with me, how You will never leave me nor forsake me, how You will finish what you started in me, and how nothing is too hard for You– not even my stubborn streak and my hard-headedness or my hard-heartedness.

Thank you that Advent means you love me where you found me like I was but you refused to leave me that way.

Amen.