affirmation

Another Random Blog

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I have lots of thoughts running through the ol’ noggin all the time. Every now and then, I need to let a few of them loose so you good readers can share in the joy that is called my brain.

1) Social media is great. I love it. I love how you can communicate with friends and family even though you may be oceans apart. I do say this though: if you’re married, I hope that your primary means of communication isn’t through social media. I hope that for every one post to your husband or wife, there are at least five face-to-face conversations (and at least four of those being affirmations). Posts and texts are great, but nothing replaces hearing and seeing your loved one say, “I love you” while looking you in the eyes.

2) As much as I still love summer, it does tend to run on. I’m ready for all things autumn, from cooler temps to pumpkin spice everything to jackets to leaves changing colors. I think you know (or you should know by now) that fall is my favorite season of all. Mostly because I don’t sweat so dang much.

3) As much as you will need forgiveness from others and as much as you will need to forgive others, the most important person you need to learn to forgive is you. You see more of your own weakness and brokenness than anyone else. You know more than anyone how your own road is littered with the carcasses of good intentions and promises you discarded along the way. You also need to know that if God can forgive you of anything, there’s no reason why you can’t forgive yourself. Remember that Jesus was willing to die for what you did. It’s hard, but it’s harder to live in the prison of self-loathing and regret.

4) Go forth and do something frivolous and spontaneous today (or tomorrow if you’re reading this after 10 pm). Take time to notice your surroundings and to take pleasure in God’s creation. Take time to cherish those God has placed in your life for this season. Wherever you are, be there in the moment and live it to the fullest (to borrow a bit from both Jim Elliott and Oswald Chambers).

That’s my latest random post. There will surely be more to follow as I think very nonlinearly.

 

The Wild, Wacky, (Sometimes) Wonderful World of Facebook

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

facebook-funny

I’m sure I’ve posted about this topic before, but I forgot what I said, so this may or may not be a repeat.

I’m a fan of facebook. I mean, where else can you see updates of what your friends are doing and where they’re hanging out. You even get to see pictures of their kids, their grandkids, their pets, their cars, their houses, what they ate for breakfast, etc.

Yet, I also know that facebook can be a very lonely place. Kinda like the proverbial “being alone in a crowd.”

If you’re looking to facebook for affirmation, you’re bound to be mightily disappointed. Who hasn’t posted a status update and almost heard the crickets chirping? Who hasn’t poured their heart out and gotten no response? It’s easy to feel ignored on facebook.

Possibly you’ve had a friend or two that seemed to be the ones who consistently commented on and liked your posts, but have seemingly gone silent on you, making you wonder if you’ve done something to offend them.

As I’ve learned, lots of people might read your posts without commenting or even liking. That won’t show up in the oh-so-important little part at the top that tells you how many friend requests, messages, and notifications you have. And when someone doesn’t comment on or like your posts, it just means they’ve got lives to live and their own mess to deal with. That’s all.

On a side note, if you’re looking to people for affirmation, whatever they give you will never be enough. You might think that you’d be fine if people would only just “like” your posts. But when that happens, the next natural step is wishing that people would make comments on those posts. It’s never enough, whether on facebook or twitter or in real life.

always-happen-with-me

I personally have had to step back and take a break from facebook when I found myself upset that a friend of mine responded to everyone else’s comments on their post but mine. Yeah, it got that crazy. And yes, they do make pills for that.

My facebook philosophy is this: I gotta be real, honest, transparent, and me. It may not be popular (’cause I know deep down that I’m not very popular– it takes special people to appreciate my brand of weirdness). I also make an effort to be encouraging and positive and stay away from political stuff (who has ever changed their politics due to something they read on facebook, anyway?)

I will sometimes go through and comment on my friends’ status updates and “like” what they post because I know that sometimes you need visual affirmation that someone out there knows where you are and what you’re going through. But that’s just me. I don’t expect that from anybody else anymore.

So have fun posting pictures of your dog in tuxedo and of the pasta you ate last night. But keep it in perspective. The only true affirmation you need comes from God, and he’s already given it to you. He loves and accepts you just as you are and not as you should be.

A Little Note for Us Co-dependents Out There

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Hi, my name is Greg, and I’m a recovering co-dependent. Maybe you are, too. Here’s how you know you are with me in this.

Maybe you have lain awake at night like me, agonizing over how you’ve really messed up and offended a particular person. You’re positive that the relationship is ruined and that person will never ever talk to you again. The next day, that person was totally fine with you.

Maybe you’ve posted or blogged or texted and not gotten any responses or likes. Maybe you felt ignored or like what you had to say wasn’t important. Or really, deep down inside, that you weren’t important for anybody to bother with.

Maybe you’ve sat and stared at that sidebar on facebook that tells you which friends are currently on facebook and looked for a green dot beside a particular name. If you’re anything like me, you’ve wondered, “Why isn’t this person ever online when I’m online? Are they avoiding me?” while wondering what kind of medication you probably need to be taking right about now.

Maybe you thought that if anyone really knew the real you, they wouldn’t stick around. You probably have felt that eventually all your relationships will end because the other person will decide that you’re just not worth the effort anymore.

Maybe you’ve wondered why a certain person, instead of sitting next to you, chose to sit in the row behind you. Maybe you were feeling like a leper and thinking, “Am I really that much of a freak?” Even though you know that’s not true, it’s one thing to know it in your head and entirely another thing to receive it with your heart.

Maybe you overanalyze every word and action and are always on a crazy see-saw ride of “he/she really likes me” to “maybe they don’t like me anymore” to “well, I guess I blew that chance.”

Maybe you define yourself by what others tell you. Maybe you need constant affirmation and approval to feel normal. The sad part is that it’s never enough. You think if someone likes your post, “Why didn’t they comment?” or if they commented, “Well, geez. That was a bit impersonal.” It’s never enough.

Maybe you’ve been attracted to someone and killed the idea before it even had a chance. You’ve thought, “There’s no way she (or he) will ever like me as anything more than a friend” or “There’s probably a dozen or more people she (or he) would be better off with.” You read into innocent little actions as signs that the interest isn’t reciprocated.

The beautiful part is that God has already told us who we are. We are the Beloved, Sons and Daughters of the King, Wonderfully and Fearfully Made in His Image, Redeemed, Beautiful, and Exactly Who He Made Us to be.

God is pleased with you and me as we are, not as we should be or will be, because He sees Jesus in us.

Also, God puts people in our lives who love us regardless, who encourage and bless us daily, and who won’t ever walk out on us. People who give just the right words at just the right time to lift our spirits.

It’s been a long process for me, but the healing has been a beautiful thing to see. I could not have written this two years ago (and probably not even one year ago). I am amazed at what God does in a life where He’s given even the tiniest amount of room to work.

I am living proof that God can change anybody anywhere at anytime, no matter how far gone or hopeless they seem. I love the saying that what seems impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for God.

It’s Not About Me

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

God forgive me for getting upset when my facebook statuses go unnoticed and when my wall posts and blogs get ignored or not responded to. It’s not about me.

God forgive me for expecting people to fill my need for affirmation and admiration. It’s not about me.

God forgive me for expecting everything to go my way all the time and for blaming you when thing don’t work out the way I want them to. It’s not about me.

God forgive me for thinking that I am loved because I am worthy of it. I am not and it’s not about me.

It has been and is now and will forever be Your Story. It’s not about me.

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU, JESUS!

Confessions of a Ragamuffin (inspired by good conversation tonight at Ben & Jerrys)

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

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My greatest fear is that people will find out who I really am deep down inside and will leave me and want nothing else to do with me. I project my own self-condemnation onto others and believe that they are angry with me or upset with me or have written me off when it is just me that is not liking me.

Most of the time, I feel the constant need to be approved, affirmed and admired by everyone and my biggest peeve is to be ignored (or to feel that I am ignored). I try to be all spiritual and come across as so very wise and super-saint, when many times the words coming out of my mouth feel like hay and rubble that will not stand the test of the fire. I say I trust in God, but I am almost always working on a backup plan in case God fails me and does not come through for me. I am a mess.

I am also beloved by the God who knows all this about me and more. He was not willing that I should perish, but that I should come to repentence and He will not ever stop loving me. I am blessed. I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies (so why do I still want more?). I am becoming who God has already declared me to be. I am constantly amazed just about every single day at the extreme lengths God will go to in order to prove Himself to me through friends, circumstances, reminders and (most importantly) through His Word.

Thank you to my friends who have inspired me by their honesty and willingness to be naked emotionally and spiritually. Your words and actions make me want to be more like my Jesus. You help pull me out of myself (notice how many “I”s are in this blog) and keep me wanting to live for a kingdom bigger than my own. You will never ever know how you have blessed me. I feel like I have given one tenth of what you have given me, but I want to do more.

So who am I? I am not my weaknesses or my strengths. My greatest strengths apart from God become my biggest weaknesses and the biggest obstacles to me being who God wants me to be. My greatest weaknesses in the hands of God will turn into His perfect strength working in and through me to impact the world around me. I am BELOVED, BLESSED and BECOMING LIKE JESUS. My Abba is very fond of me.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.