I Am Rahab

I am Rahab. I am what is known as a prostitute. A hooker. To put it bluntly, a whore. I make my living on my back. It’s a profession as old as time, but also a way of living that fills me with shame.

Then I meet two strange men. Something in me compels me to let them in. Right away, I can tell they’re not looking for a companion for the night. They don’t look and sound like people from the town I live in.

I ask them where they’re from and what they’re doing here and they start talking about being a people chosen by this god they call Yahweh. It’s so unlike all the other stories about gods that I’ve ever heard that I am instantly hooked. Right away, I know that if trouble comes, I want to be on their side.

The more they talk, the more I think that maybe this God who turned a bunch of ragtags into a nation can somehow turn my life around. Maybe this God of Israel is God. Period.

So I agree to their plans and hide them. I even lie to the soldiers about them. Surely this God will forgive me if He knows I’m doing it to save His people. I’ve agreed to help them and to let them out by a secret way from my window on the outer part of the city wall by a scarlet rope.

I know why they’re here. They’re here because Jericho is a wicked city and God has told His people to destroy it. I know that they will bring death. So I plead for my life. I plead for the life of my family.

They tell me that if I hang a scarlet cord from my window, the same one I used to save them, they will spare me and all my family who are inside. Me and my family will be spared.

I’m telling you this because I am a part of a famous genealogy. You may not know this, but from my line will come David, King of Israel, and later (and best of all) the Messiah Jesus. Because of my small acts of courage, I get to be a part of bringing the Savior of the world to the world.

If you look in the book of Hebrews, you will find my name. Specifically in the 11th chapter, better known as the Faith Hall of Fame. I’m living proof that God can save the lowest of the low. Not even a common whore is beneath the reach of God’s love.

If God could save me, He can save anyone. And that includes you.

I am Rahab, and I am the beloved of my Abba.

FEAR

I heard something really awesome in a sermon I was listening to a few days ago. It was about fear.

I have lived a lot of my life controlled and dominated by fear. I played it safe and didn’t take risks because of fear.

But the preacher spelled out fear for me in a way that really helped me to understand it.

Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

In other words, what I’m so very afraid of isn’t reality. Most of the anticipated futures that keep me up at night never come to pass. Most of the times when I fear I’ve messed up and blown another relationship, it turns out it was all in my head.

The Bible says that perfect Love casts out all fear. I am learning that slowly.

It’s hard to live out of love when you’re so used to living in fear, but it is so much more freeing. It’s how God meant for us to live.

Greater is He that is in me than what I’m afraid of. Greater is He who lives in me that what I’m facing.

Greater is He who calls me Beloved and knows my name than all of sin and hell and the world put together and thrown at me.

Because God is with me and for me and in me, I know that I have nothing to be afraid of anymore. That is freedom.

May you find the freedom of the Love of your Abba Father overcoming all your fears, so that you can step out boldly in faith into the future that God has for you right now.

Amen.

It’s Wednesday

I keep thinking about how Aaron Bryant described the father in the prodigal son parable. Especially about how radical his expression of love for his son was.

The son had his return speech down-pat. He would be a servant and work his way back into his father’s good graces. At least this way, he would have three square meals and a roof over his head. Better than that pig slop and pig sty he came from. Literally.

What did the son see? Did he see his father standing far off with his arms crossed and a look of disappointment or anger or shame? Did he see his father turn his back away to not see him coming down the road?

No.

He saw his father take off running down the road, tears streaming, and practically tackle him in the biggest bear hug ever in human history.

From a cultural standpoint, there are several things wrong. First of all, grown men didn’t run back then. At least not respectable ones. Second, the right thing to do would be to disown the son and have a funeral and consider him dead.

I think the definition of prodigal fits the father more than the son. It’s lavish, excessive, extravagant, and almost wasteful. That describes perfectly this love the father had for his wayward son.

That’s the kind of love the Father has for us. A love that caused Him to take on the lowly flesh of a slave and take that long, arduous, painful march to the Cross to die a humiliating and criminal death for you and me.

It’s Wednesday. You’re halfway through another week, looking forward to another weekend that will probably be over all too soon with another Monday right behind.

Remember that you are greatly blessed, highly favored, and (best of all) deeply loved. Your Abba is still very much fond of you and always will be.

May that be what carries you through Thursday and into the weekend and beyond.

Your New Name: A Good Reminder from Kairos

In Revelation, Jesus promises that if you hold on to the end, you will be given a white stone with a new name that only you and Jesus know. That will be the name that trumps all the other names you have been given. That name will be your destiny.

What do you call yourself? In those moments when you screw up and make a mess of things, what name do you give yourself? Is it Stupid or Idiot, or one of those names that’s so bad you can’t even say it out loud when you’re alone?

What do other people call you? Are you Lazy or Slow or Hopeless? Do you carry those names around with you like a tattoo ingrained in your brain and you have come to see yourself by those names?

Jesus has come to give you a new name: Beloved.

Where you were once a Failure, you are now Redeemed.

Where once you were a Stranger, now you are Family.

Where once you were an Enemy, now you are a Son or Daughter of God.

Where you were Without Hope, now you are a Child of the Promise.

Where once you were Lost, now and forever you are Found.

Keep these names in your mind. Let them define you and your future. Because these, and not the other names, are who you are from now on.

I am the Beloved of my Abba, and He is very fond of me. So are you.

Ain’t it great?

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts on spirituality

As believers in Christ, we don’t fight for victory; we fight from victory. The battle is the Lord’s and He has overcome. The battle is won!

The moment we choose to rebel against what we know to be true is the very moment we open the door to demonic activity in our lives. Peter is a good example of this when he opposed Jesus’ going to Jerusalem and to the cross. If we are under attack, maybe the question to ask is, “What am I believing that is a lie?” or “What am I not believing and acting on that I know to be true?”

God doesn’t want all your activities and programs and to-do lists as much as He wants your heart. And that does not mean a still-beating heart on a silver platter. It means that God wants your heart surrendered to Him. He wants your affection, your emotions, your devotion. In essence, He wants you to fall in love with Him all over again like you did at the first. God is not mad at you or disappointed in you. He knows you better than anyone. He knew who you were and who you’d turn out to be when He created you. Nothing you do is a surprise to Him. But what He’s about to do in your life will be a great surprise to you (and better than anything you could have dreamed of). As I heard someone say, God will use you unless you choose not to be used.

Some of Satan’s modes of attack is accusation and condemnation. That you are not good enough. That you are not nearly up to the task He has called you to. Remember that God doesn’t call the equipped, but equips the called. He wants your availability, not your ability. Another mode of demonic attack is to divide and conquer, to get you isolated and vulnerable. If you are cutting yourself off from fellowship with other believers, beware. You are walking straight into the devil’s trap. But every story of deliverance starts with admitting that I am helpless and that I need Someone to come to my rescue. And God is in the business of rescuing.

God wants your heart. God wants your availability. Believe it or not, God wants you. God still wants me, after all I’ve done wrong and how I’ve often been a walking billboard of reasons not to believe. Rest in your Abba’s love for you. Wherever you are and wherever you’re headed, you can always turn around and come Home.

Confessions of a Ragamuffin (inspired by good conversation tonight at Ben & Jerrys)

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My greatest fear is that people will find out who I really am deep down inside and will leave me and want nothing else to do with me. I project my own self-condemnation onto others and believe that they are angry with me or upset with me or have written me off when it is just me that is not liking me.

Most of the time, I feel the constant need to be approved, affirmed and admired by everyone and my biggest peeve is to be ignored (or to feel that I am ignored). I try to be all spiritual and come across as so very wise and super-saint, when many times the words coming out of my mouth feel like hay and rubble that will not stand the test of the fire. I say I trust in God, but I am almost always working on a backup plan in case God fails me and does not come through for me. I am a mess.

I am also beloved by the God who knows all this about me and more. He was not willing that I should perish, but that I should come to repentence and He will not ever stop loving me. I am blessed. I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in the heavenlies (so why do I still want more?). I am becoming who God has already declared me to be. I am constantly amazed just about every single day at the extreme lengths God will go to in order to prove Himself to me through friends, circumstances, reminders and (most importantly) through His Word.

Thank you to my friends who have inspired me by their honesty and willingness to be naked emotionally and spiritually. Your words and actions make me want to be more like my Jesus. You help pull me out of myself (notice how many “I”s are in this blog) and keep me wanting to live for a kingdom bigger than my own. You will never ever know how you have blessed me. I feel like I have given one tenth of what you have given me, but I want to do more.

So who am I? I am not my weaknesses or my strengths. My greatest strengths apart from God become my biggest weaknesses and the biggest obstacles to me being who God wants me to be. My greatest weaknesses in the hands of God will turn into His perfect strength working in and through me to impact the world around me. I am BELOVED, BLESSED and BECOMING LIKE JESUS. My Abba is very fond of me.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.