For All the Phonies in the World

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Let me ask you something. Just between you and me (and the world wide web). Do you ever feel like a phony?

Do you ever hear yourself giving Sunday School answers to real life questions? Do you ever feel that you’re praying what you think God wants to hear instead of what’s really in your heart? Do you ever lie awake at night wondering what would happen if the people around you knew what you were really thinking? What you were really like?

There’s good news that sounds like bad news at first. God knows. God knows it all. He knows all the faux-prayers and the religious jargon you talk sometimes. He knows what you do and what you think when no one’s watching. That seems like bad news until you get to the clincher. He loves you anyway.

He loves you at your phoniest. He loves you at your meanest. He loves you at your darkest moments in the middle of the night. He looks at you and doesn’t see phony. He looks at you and sees Jesus and what Jesus did in your place. He sees the perfect life Jesus lived instead of your own very imperfect existence.

Best of all, God sees you for who you will be instead of who you are. He sees what He designed you to be. He promised to not stop working on you until you’re 100% real and complete.

In the meantime, it’s okay to be real and honest and admit you have made a mess of your life. It’s okay to confess you don’t have all the answers, or even all the questions. It’s really not about how much you know or how well you act but how much you are loved.

I raise my glass and toast to all the phonies who are stepping forward to take off the mask and be honest about themselves. I drink to all the pretenders who just got real. I salute all of you who are letting down the walls on what God is doing in your life so others can see grace at work and how love can transform a person. That’s where the freedom is. That’s where I want to be. I hope you do, too.

Things That Make Me Happy

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I have this key chain piggie that I carry with me sometimes. It doesn’t look quite like the one pictured about, but the effect is the same. You press a small button on piggie’s head and light comes out his snout. Or her snout. It could go either way on this little piggie.

Things like that amuse me. I am easily pleased with little gadgets, especially if they light up. Bonus points if they fit in your pocket and look like little animals. I get joy from the weirdest places sometimes.

Like today at work. It was not going well. I was having a Monday kind of day on a Thursday. I was not having a happy moment. But I prayed and said, “Lord, I give you my frustration and anger and I pray You fill me with Your peace.” Just a simple prayer thrown out in the moment.

Next thing I know, I am at peace. I’m content. I even have joy for no other good reason than God is good. Plus I have my little key chain piggie sitting on my desk as a reminder that I have provision if all the lights in the building suddenly go out. I am prepared.

I’ve learned not to predict or anticipate those little moments of joy. I just know that I get them when I least expect them, when I need them most. When I would usually be stressed or depressed. They are a reminder that God is not just in control of the cosmic universal happenings, but also the tiny insignificant things, like me having a bad day.

Thank you, God for little key chain piggies and for random moments of joy. I’ll take them both, anytime.

 

My Political Blog

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

“All religious and political systems, Right and Left alike, are the work of human beings.  Abba’s children will not sell their birthright for any mess of pottage, conservative or liberal.  They hold fast to their freedom in Christ to live the gospel-uncontaminated by cultural junk, political wreckage, and the complex hypocrisies of a bullying religion” (Brennan Manning)

I get so sick and tired of political parties. I’m tired of the Republicans blaming everything on the Democrats and the Democrats blaming everything on the Republicans. Both have very strong notions about what’s wrong and who’s to blame, but neither side seems to have any answers. Neither side seems to be able to fix what’s wrong.

I’ve decided to form my own political party. I’m calling it the hot chocolate party, or the hot cocoa party. I haven’t decided for sure. All I know is that chocolate will be involved. Lots of it.

Whatever I call my party, I know my hope is not in politics. I as a ragamuffin refuse to sell my birthright as a child of God and citizen of a heavenly kingdom for man-made political systems. I refuse to buy the idea that I need to take back my country. This is not my country. My country is a “far country,” not of this world, just as Jesus’ kingdom is not of this world.

Maybe I’ll go with the Marshmellow party, ’cause marshmellows go with hot chocolate the way eggs go with bacon. Kind of a package deal. Plus, you can eat them solo or throw them at people.

I don’t know. I think the idea of a Marshmellow party makes as much sense to me as any other political party I’ve seen so far. I think I’ll just go read a good book. Thanks and good night!

 


 

Little by Little

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

Sometimes, it seems that the grief will never go away. It seems that anger is always right underneath the surface. It seems like jealousy and bitterness and envy are still second nature, and forgiveness, grace, and mercy seem so unreachable. Love is next to impossible sometimes.

But little by little you keep taking the grief and the anger to Jesus. You keep confessing the jealousy and bitterness and repenting of the envy. You pray every day for Jesus to take away these things and fill the vacated space with His love. For a while, nothing seems to happen.

But just as you see the first hints of the sun coming up in the morning, so you finally see hints of change.

A little less sadness and a little more joy.

A little less anger and a little more love.

A little less jealousy and a little more compassion.

A little less bitterness and a little more surrender and acceptance.

A little less envy and a little more thankfulness.

That’s how it  works, I think. When Jesus said we could move mountains with a little bit of faith, sometimes I think those mountains come down a little bit of dirt and a little bit of rock at a time. Sometimes, the mountain is gone in an instant, but sometimes it takes years of praying, surrendering, and struggling.

I heard someone say that comparison is the thief of joy. You can always find someone to feel superior to and someone who seems way above you. If you have to make comparisons at all, I suggest comparing yourself now with who you used to be. And maybe with who you are becoming.

I don’t claim to have the final and definitive answers to all this, but I know that God said He would finish what He started and He hasn’t lied yet. His promise is as good as done. Believe it.

God, If You Loved Me . . .

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I think you’ve had prayers that started with “God, if you loved me . . .” I have. I’ve probably prayed variations of that prayer at least a thousand times. Maybe you’ve prayed something like this.

“God, if you loved me, you would have given me a spouse, or at least given me hope for one.”

“God, if you loved me, you would have saved my marriage and kept me from all this pain.”

“God, if you loved me, you could have saved my child and he would still be alive today.”

“God, if you loved me, you could have provided for me and my family to stay in our home and not have to go through the embarrassment of bankrupcy.”

There are probably hundreds of other prayers you and I could think of. Essentially, we pray, “God, if you loved me, you would have come through and not left me alone in this.”

I think maybe if we were silent and still long enough, we might hear this response.

“My child, I do love you. Haven’t you seen countless examples of my blessings and observed times too many to count of my intervention? I do love you.

I love you too much to let you settle for lesser dreams and be satisfied with you-sized goals. I want so much more for you.

I love you too much to let the things in your life possess you instead of you possessing them. I want to teach you how to hold things and people with open hands, because closed hands can’t receive what I have to give you.

You may not always understand my ways. If you did, that would put you above me. But as far as the heavens are above the earth, so are my ways higher than yours.

If you are troubled by what you seem to see of my actions, know that my character is good. Know that I am with you and beside you and in you and for you. Know that my love cannot do anything less than what’s best for you.

Above all, look to the cross where I gave Jesus for you. Jesus was me in your human form, living your life, sharing your sorrows, fulfillling all my requirements, and taking your place in death. You who deserved death get to live and my Son, who had done nothing wrong, died.

Remember that this is a broken world. Remember also that one day I will set all things right. I will restore to you what you have lost a thousand times over. My love for you will triumph against everything that stands against it.

My child, I do love you. Never forget that. I am your Abba and I am very fond of you.”

-God

What Kind of Christian Are You?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 8 Comments

I heard a pastor say that a lot of us are waiting for God to bring His judgment. We have certain people or groups in mind. God owes them what’s coming to them and they should get no mercy, but get the hell they deserve. Yet somehow, a lot of us think that God is obligated to show us mercy.

It could be “those homosexuals” or “those liberals” or “those pacifists” or whatever other group you’re not in. It could be those who struggle with sins that don’t affect us. Our sins are forgiveable, but theirs are not. Or so we think.

But really, who are good Christians and who are bad Christians? And do such distinctions even exist?

I say not. There are no good or bad Christians. There are only lost people who have been found, dead people who are now alive, sinners who deserved condemnation but found grace and mercy. We are all, as one of my favorite writers put it, beggers trying to tell other beggars where to find bread.

In other words, there is no one good enough to earn God’s love. No one who has anything of their own they can bring to God. There is no one that’s too bad to be saved. No one who God has shut off from any possibility of redemption or grace.

I’ve had to change my thinking a lot about “those” people. I may not struggle with the “big” sins, but my sins would have earned me just as much of death and hell as anyone who has ever lived. I needed grace and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus as much as any of “those” people.

A famous newspaper once submitted a question to many leading figures of the day. The question was “What’s wrong with the world today?” A famous writer, G.K. Chesterton had the shortest (and best, I think) reply of them all. He simply replied, “I am.”

One day God will judge the world. Some people will get what they deserve. But the only reason I won’t is because of Zephaniah 1:7. “Quiet now! Reverent silence before me, God, the Master! Time’s up. My Judgment Day is near: The Holy Day is all set, the invited guests made holy.”

In other words, those guests invited to the Kingdom of God aren’t the ones who have the most to offer God or who have the most sterling resumes. They are the ones God has made holy. Because we had no gift to bring, God sent His own Son. Because we had no sacrifice, God Himself became the sacrifice so we could get in.

So instead of choosing who God should judge, maybe we should be thankful and grateful that we’re no longer the ones who will be condemned. Maybe we should love “those” people as much as God loved us and show them as much grace as He showed us. Maybe, just maybe, we could be the the ones to show them how good and great God really is.

Good Driving in the Dark Music

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I was driving home from downtown Franklin again tonight and I had to have the right nighttime driving music. Not just any music will do for me. It has to fit the mood of a summer night with or without the window rolled down (the windows were up tonight because of the humidity).

I went with Gillian Welch’s new album, The Harrow & The Harvest. It’s a wonderful album to play through while driving in the car. It has a deliberately slow and easy gait, a lazy summer day kind of rhythm, to it. The way Gillain and David Rawling’s voices mesh, the way the sparse accompaniment makes the music feel intimate, makes it perfect for driving alone in the dark.

I don’t ususally want fast and loud late at night. I want mellow and subdued. I want pensive, thoughtful lyrics with a sound that calms me down without putting me to sleep.

For me, I’ve found a few albums that qualify. Lori McKenna’s Lorraine, Don McLean’s American Pie, Eastmountainsouth’s self-titled album, or anything by Peter Bradley Adams, Over the Rhine, Gillian Welch or The Sundays will do. There are others, both old and new, that span countless genres. I’m not so much looking for a particular style of music, I just want a kind of mood or feeling from it.

What music brings you home at night? I realize most people probably just let the radio pick their music. Most people probably don’t even pay attention to the music coming from the car speakers. But there are probably a few of you who are more deliberate in your nocturnal musical selections. Like me.

PS I do like listening to Delilah at night. She always had a friendly voice and plays good songs and gives sound advice. Sometimes, though, the drive home needs a soundtrack that is more personal and less top-40 radio-friendly. Like tonight.

PPS Anything by Gillian Welch and/or David Rawlings will do for night driving.

Old Books, Old Friends

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I’ve been re-reading the Chronicles of Narnia over the summer. I think this makes the 15th straight year I’ve read these books, so if you’re counting, that would mean I’m re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-reading these books. I think I got vertigo just typing that last sentence.

I’m currently re-reading The Horse and His Boy. I’ve read it so many times I know what’s coming up next and there are very few surprises left. But for me reading a book like that is like going to a favorite vacation spot, one that’s guaranteed to be exactly like you remembered and never change.

I also read The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and The Space Trilogy (another C.S. Lewis set of classics). I’ve seen the movies and I like them all so far, but one of the drawbacks to having read the books so many times is that I can tell if the movies deviate even slightly from the books. Remember me being a book nerd?

I’d like to know what books you read annually. Maybe I’ll find a new one to add to my yearly reading list. I’ll have to have something to take my mind away from the fact that another one of my favorite bookstores, Borders, is going away forever in September. Boo.

I like this ending better than any ending in a book I’ve ever read:

“And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

FYI, That’s from The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis the last book in The Chronicles of Narnia.

This is Your Brain on Tylenol Sinus Nighttime Medicine

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I have oddly disconnected and random thoughts tonight. Such as:

1) Both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my nerves, so I guess that makes me an Independent. I think I’d rather vote for Marge Simpson.

2) As my boss said, “Anyday without a toe tag is a good day.” I made it through another day still alive and kicking with all my extremeties and all my teeth, so I’d call it a good day.

3) I heard a pastor talk about how you go to someone’s funeral and say how they look natural. As if that person slept in a coffin every day of his life.

4) I know reality TV is in, but I still like my television to be as unrealistic as possible. Give me vampires, ghosts, aliens, and Buffy any day over survivors and batchelorettes. I get enough reality from real life.

5) Diet Mountain Dew is a great invention. At 7:30 in the morning, it is a Godsend.

6) I like the new morning show on Way-FM, but I still miss Mornings with Brant. Especially Malarkey. I miss that most.

7) I found my cat Lucy taking a nap on my suitcase underneath the bed this morning. I think she doesn’t want me going on any more trips this year. Either that or she wants to go, too.

8) Lucy the aforementioned cat is named after Lucy from The Chronicles of Narnia, in case you wondered.

9) This Tylenol Sinus Nighttime stuff works. I am uber-sleepy. Good night.

Fun Times at Nashville International Airport

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I recently did something I haven’t done since I was four. I flew in an airplane. As opposed to the other ways of flying. Things have changed a bit since I last flew back in 1976. Just a little.

On my way through the inspection part, I got pulled out of line and patted down in public (awkward). They also searched my luggage and took my shampoo. Really?

What was I going to do? Break into the cockpit and wash the flight crew’s hair? Or if I were especially nefarious, I might rinse and repeat. I am such a suspicious looking character, after all. You never know what I might do at any moment, like take a nap or break into 80’s song. You just never know.

I did get to see a sunset from 23,000 feet. That just about made up for the loss of shampoo. Words fail to describe how gloriously beautiful it was.

Next time I fly, I am taking a smaller bottle of shampoo. Maybe like the microscopic sample they gave me at the hotel. Definely not the $15 bottle of Biolage that I use for Screech-prevention, to keep my hair from looking like Screech’s from Saved by the Bell.

And by the way, as the picture above attests, I think my cat didn’t miss me too terribly much. She was too busy napping to notice I was gone.

Oh, did I mention my luggage got searched again on the way back home? I am just so very lucky.