Little Victories

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Today, I had one of those little victories. Kinda like the 7.5 ounce cans of Dr. Pepper. All the sugary goodness, only in a smaller container. That’s how I look at little victories.

It wasn’t a eureka moment. It was just a moment when I realized that a couple of years ago I would have been panicked or angry or severely discouraged and I wasn’t any of these things. I had a bad moment at work where I found out I did something wrong and I didn’t freak out.

I did some slow breathing and short prayers and realized that the world wasn’t going to end. Score Greg 1, Panic 0. A small victory.

It may not seem like anything, but to me it’s something. Most people prefer the epic Braveheart-style victories, but the smaller ones are more likely to happen in real life. Usually, the battle isn’t won in a sweeping triumph all at once, but in a series of small victories. Like today.

You may find yourself reacting for once out of understanding and not anger. You might find forgiveness in your heart for someone who wronged you. You may say no to the cheesecake and yes to the salad. Those are small victories.

Small victories are a reminders of the ultimate victory yet to come. They are a reminder that God is in the details as well as in the grand scheme. You see in that moment that God was with you all along, even when it seemed that you fought alone.

I am a fan of small victories. I am also a fan of those small cans of Dr. Pepper and especially the tiny servings of Ben and Jerrys that come with the tiny spoons. I guess I need to work on that salad thing.

Don’t discount the small things. God shows up in the little victories and most often sends blessings in the form of little moments of joy and small graces. Most of all, His preferred manner of speaking is a still, small voice.

I guess good things do come in small packages.

Food for Thought (Meditations on What I Read and What I Heard Today)

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“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which,if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilites, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors” (C.S. Lewis)

There are no ordinary people.  Everyone you meet is uniquely designed and handcrafted by the very God who made and sustains everything. That includes you. In God’s eyes, there are no throwaways or outcasts or losers. He sees all of us as extraordinary.

That changes a lot. It changes how I view other people. It changes how I see me.

I heard something neat in Kairos tonight. Jesus didn’t choose those who made the cut for His followers. He didn’t choose the best picks available on the board (to use a sports analogy). He didn’t pick the most influential or noteworthy or acclaimed. He picked me. He picked you.

He chose illiterate fishermen and tax collectors and misguided zealots. He picked what we would call ordinary people. Like you and me. He said, “I see something in you that you don’t even see in yourself and I will do everything to bring that something out in you.”

He didn’t call us to be fans, but followers. That’s what a disciple is– someone who not only knows Jesus, but follows Him. Someone who is “all in.”

Are you a fan or are you a follower? I had to admit that lately I’ve been more of a sideline fan than a follower who gets his feet dirty. I want to do more than like Jesus on facebook. I want to be known by His name and to look like Him. Do you?

Lord, make us followers who who will be willing to give up everything we could never keep to gain what we will never be able to lose. We want to be ALL IN from now on.

Amen.

My Review of The First 4 Pages of The Weight of Glory

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I am a fan of all things C.S. Lewis. I’ve read almost everything I can find with his name on it. I’ve seen all the Narnia movies (even the BBC ones that look like they had a special effects budget of $5). So it would make sense that I’m reading his book The Weight of Glory, a book of essays and sermons.

So far, 4 pages in, I get the idea that desire is not wrong. It’s not our desire that’s so bad, but what we desire. We’re thinking way too small when all we long for is a bigger house, a better car, the ideal spouse, perfect sex, and a host of other amenities we can dream of.

C.S. Lewis said it way better when he wrote, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

 I don’t know about you, but mud pies don’t appeal to me in the least. I’d rather take the Hilton Head vacation package any day of the week. And if any of you kind people are offering, I am taking. Just throwing that out there.

One thing he said that struck me was that a proper reward for doing something was the consummation of that activity. In other words, the reward for being a good husband would be a happy and joyous marriage. The reward for being a good parent would be children that are a delight.

Maybe my reward for pursuiing the heart of God is finding it. Maybe the full reward is finding that the heart of God is so big that I can never get to the bottom of it, not even after an eternity of searching. The deeper you go, the more you find and the better it gets and the more there is to uncover.

Ok, so I started the book today and didn’t get very far. In my defense, I read the introductions (notice that I read both), which I hardly ever do. That’s how much I like C.S. Lewis. Further reports to follow. Stay tuned. Oh, and be sure to drink your ovaltine.

Thanks, Uncle Mikey (A Tribute of Sorts to Dr. Glenn)

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Thank you, Uncle Mikey, for 20 wonderful years as pastor of Brentwood Baptist Church. Thanks for being a faithful steward of God’s Word who loved Jesus and kept it real (to use your own words).

You told me that Kairos was a safe place where I could be myself, whether that meant raising my hands high in worship or sitting silently with arms folded. You told me that confession was a time not to beat myself up, but to be honest with myself to God and to tell Him what He already knew so that I would come to see myself as He does.

You reminded me that God doesn’t just love me, but He likes me, too. You reminded me that God is crazy about me and that nothing could stop Him from winning my heart and redeeming me out of my own mess into someone who is a child of the King.

You made me love God’s Word again. Your love for Scripture made me want to dig in deeper for myself. You always said, “If you don’t live it, you don’t believe it.” That challenged me more than once to take stock in what I really and truly believed as opposed to what I paid lip service to.

You always spoke honestly about your own faults and shortcomings and fears and made it okay for me to be as open and honest about mine. You told me more than once that all God needs is for a small place to start in my life and He can change me. That it’s never ever too late to start over and let God’s love transform me into something beautiful.

I never spoke to you personally much, but you were always kind to me and listened to me. You always made time to invest in the lives of so many others. There are so many whose lives are better because of your faithfulness to Jesus. I am one of them. Thanks for getting me hooked on Henri Nouwen’s books. I will always think of you whenever I read one of his books.

I hope and pray God gives you another 20 years as pastor of Brentwood Baptist. I pray God’s anointing rests on you and that you never stop being amazed at what God is doing inside you and around you.

God’s not done with either you or me and I can’t wait to see what the final result will be. Thanks to someone I feel like I can call my friend and my brother in Christ. Shalom to you.

From one of your many spiritual children,

Greg.

Drive-Ins And Still More Random Stuff

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The last time before tonight that I went to a drive-in movie theatre, I saw Liar Liar and The Saint. That should tell you how long it’s been. I know it was sometime around the mid-90’s. Those of you who are better at math than me can figure out how long that’s been.

Tonight (or technically last night, since it’s 1:23 am), I went to the drive-in at Waterford. It was definitely like stepping back in time. Even the movies were vintage, starting with Back to the Future and ending up with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. And yes, Ferris is still my hero.

Life was different back then, at least for me. It didn’t seem so fast and people didn’t seem to be in so much of a hurry. It seems like anymore people are so worried about getting to the next place they often miss where they are now. Says one who is guilty of such.

Sometimes, the most important part is not getting a head start on traffic, but not missing the moment. Savoring a beautiful summer night with breezes hinting of a fall yet to come and stars out in full glory. I’d rather get home 20 minutes later than miss out on that.

Earlier today, I helped Belmont students move into their dorms. It reminded me of my own days as a college student when I moved all my belongings into a dorm room. Those were good days, but I won’t say they were the best.

The best days, I think, are now because that’s where God is and that’s where He is speaking to us and working in us. That’s where I want to be, waiting to see what God will do next. I can’t imagine what it will be, but I know it’s gonna be good.

Like Ferris said, life is pretty short. If you don’t stop every once in a while and look around, you could miss it.

My Sleepy Blog

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Right now, I am so tired I probably won’t be able to sleep. I am so sleepy my head feels fuzzy. And please tell me I’m not the only person who gets the fuzzy head thing. I can’t be the only crazy person.

I am so tired that I am actually fantasizing about sleep. Me under those soft sheets with my pillow. Right now that’s even better than chocolate.

I’m also annoyed that I already typed this blog once and it went to some alternate reality other than this one, because it didn’t show up after I submitted it.

Normally, I would be looking forward to the rare privilege of sleeping in tomorrow. However, tomorrow I am helping Belmont students move in to their dorms. We have to be there at 6:30 am. Yikes.

The good news is that my God is a God who never sleeps, who never grows weary, and who never tires of taking care of His children. His patience and understanding are limitless toward those who believe.

So, I am off to bed. Dreamland is calling, and I bet there will be some weird dreams tonight. I definitely foresee a nap in my future.

Sometimes, I think the most spiritual thing you can do is rest. Who knew taking naps could be so holy? I know I am about to be really, really spiritual in a minute or two.

Rest well, friends, and may you hear the voice of your Abba singing over you in the night as you sleep. Know He delights in you still.

Good night.

Hillsong and the Night Ride Home

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I went to a Hillsong United concert at Allen Arena at Lipcomb University today, which I highly recommend you go see them if they are playing anywhere near you. As in 500 miles or less. They are that good.

Honestly, it was one of the most worshipful nights that I can remember. A top 5 night for sure. There was so much freedom and joy in the worship that made 2 1/2 hours seem like no time at all. The twenty minutes I spent looking for where I parked seemed a lot longer.

The song they closed with was Take Heart, a reminder that whatever you’re going though, God is able to get you through. In fact, He has already overcome whatever you’re facing. These are the lyrics for those who are living in the midst of those troubles Jesus promised we would go through:

“All our failure And all our fear
God our love He has overcome
All our heartache And all our pain
God our healer He has overcome

All our burdens And all our shame
God our freedom He has overcome
All our troubles And all our tears
God our hope He has overcome

All our failures And all our fear
God our love He has overcome
God our justice God our grace
God our freedom He has overcome

God our refuge God our strength
God is with us He has overcome”

Ok, so I normally don’t quote nearly an entire song, but I think this one merits it. Anything you can possibly imagine facing, anything remotely out there that is set against you, God has already taken care of.

As for the night ride home, I made it home with no GPS or maps and the window rolled down. It took less time to get home than it took to find my car. And now I go to bed or else tomorrow I’ll be one of the living dead zombies.

Thanks for allowing me to share my heart and my thoughts, even when they come from a sleepy brain. It’s been fun posting these and I hope to continue it for a while. God bless all of you.

Bye-Bye, Borders (Farewell to Another Favorite Bookstore)

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Dear Borders,

I’ve read the news and seen the signs. You’re going away forever soon, and that makes me sad. Soon there will no longer be any more Borders.

You were my second favorite bookstore.  #1 bit the dust when David-Kidd went away, and now #2 is going bye-bye. I guess that leaves Barnes & Noble as my new favorite by default.

You were a place I could go and walk around when I needed to detox from a stressful day. You had books, music, movies, and those weird novelty gadgets to browse that made killing time such a pleasure. You had the cafe with those oh-so-good freshly baked cookies. Where will I get those now?

I confess sometimes I would see one of your products and go find it online cheaper. I feel bad about that now. Maybe if I had paid a few more dollars a few times, you might still be around after September. Or maybe not. Who knows?

I still have my Borders card, which is pretty much useless now, but I think I will keep it on my keychain for a while to remember all the good times I had with you. Even that weird night with all the older ladies wearing red hats. That was a little awkward.

I discovered some good music. I found some good movies. I even bought some hand soap (it was 75% off). But most of all, you were my happy place. You were the place I went to where I knew I would be happy for a little while.

Now I have one less happy place.

Thank you, Borders, for making my life a little better and a little happier. You were a little pricey and sometimes you didn’t have what I was looking for, but you made my inner book-nerd very happy. I always joked that I could put a hammock in one of your aisles and live there.

Now you’re going away. I will miss you and all your booky goodness. Thanks for the memories. The next time I read a good book with a freshly baked cookie, I will think of you.

One Day I’ll Learn . . .

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I used to think I was a fairly teachable guy, willing to learn and be corrected and be done with whatever I was dealing with. Boy, was I wrong. I have compiled a list that I hope one day I will get down pat one day so I won’t have to keep relearning.

One day I’ll learn that what I’m afraid of is usually nothing close to reality. That impending doom is highly exaggerated.

One day I’ll learn that a few good deep breaths and a silent prayer will cure most forms of anxiety. Not all, but most.

One day I’ll learn to be completely in the moment and not in the past obsessing over something I could have done better or in the future anticipating what may or may not come my way. That perfect peace God promised me is meant for the present, not a yesterday that’s gone  or tomorrow that’s not here yet.

One day I’ll learn to be content with where God has me and not worry that I’m not where I’m supposed to be, according to some arbitrary cultural standard.

To be honest, I could list 20 more things on my list that I have yet to master. This blog could turn into a “beat Greg up” session. The reality is that I am far less driven by fear than I used to be. I am living more in the moment than ever.  I am more content with each day that passes.

I think the big lesson will be when I learn that while it would be nice to have arrived, a step in the right direction is a good thing. Each baby step toward maturity is a victory. And even if I totally blew it that day, the next one starts with a clean slate.

I’m learning.

Those Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Days

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Alexander had his terrible, no good, very bad day. So I read as a kid. I can relate. I’ve had my share of terrible, no good, very bad, sucky, wishing it would end days. For a little while, today was one of those days.

Then I remembered something. Faith doesn’t grow in my wonderful awesomely good nothing bad days. Faith matures and gets stronger on those terrible no good very bad days. You find your faith when everything else seems to be going wrong and your day has disaster written all over it.

When the job starts feeling too much like work and not enough like a calling, faith grows. When you struggle with what normally would come easy to you, faith matures. When it seems like one bad thing happens right after another, like tidal wave after tidal wave, your faith is made real.

The faith that says that if you believe, you won’t ever struggle or have problems or suffer isn’t real. Just like a butterfly only gets strong by fighting its way out of a cocoon, so your faith only grows muscles when you’re in the midst of dark, stormy days with the wind blowing and waves crashing and you getting pounded.

I always heard that it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that matters. I think it’s not about great big faith in God that counts, but faith in a great big God. It’s not how strong your faith is all the time, but how your faith is in the God Whose strength is unwearying and unending.

The best part about some days is that they end. For me, the best part about my work day is that it’s now past tense. It’s over. I never have to go back that Monday ever again. I don’t know if tomorrow will be better, but I know the same God that got me through today will be there tomorrow.

That calls for a celebration, I think!