Not Forgotten

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It’s funny that it took the death of Robin Williams to put him back in the spotlight. Suddenly, all his movies are flying off the shelves at places like Best Buy and Barnes & Noble and seemingly every other hashtag is some variation of either #ohcaptainmycaptain or #riprobinwilliams. Before he died, I hadn’t really thought about him much. Or at all. At least not in a long, long time.

We as a culture are so good at eulogizing and paying tribute to those we’ve lost, but not so good at remembering them while they’re still with us. And we have such short memories. Soon, we’ll be back to business as usual– until the next tragedy or until the next big celebrity passes away.

But something occurred to me just now.

There is never a moment when I am not on God’s mind. There’s not a time when He doesn’t see me and what I’m going through. There will never be an instant when He doesn’t love me as unconditionally and completely as if I were the only person on the planet.

You hardly ever hear anyone talk about Whitney Houston anymore. Or Philip Seymour Hoffman. Soon, all the talk about Robin Williams will die down and we’ll find something new to talk about.

But not in a million years will my God forget me. Not in a billion years will He ever desert me. His love for me will never ever decrease by even one iota. Not even if I were to forget Him.

I’m sitting in St. Paul’s with the lights off. It’s dark and quiet and still. The only sounds I hear are the hum of the air conditioning unit and the occasional pops and creaks of the old floorboards settling.

I am at peace. I’m reminded of what’s really important and what really matters. It’s not what you have or what you do for a living or who you know. It’s about being known and loved and cherished perfectly by the God who made you.

Remember this one thing if nothing else. You are not forgotten.

A Day in the Life

Here’s a snippet of my day.

I did my eight hours and started home. It took me a little over an hour to get home from work, or in musical terms, it took me one and a half Carly Simon albums to get home.

That’s a long time. But at least I had Ms. Simon to keep me company.

After, I went to the Wilson County Fair. It just so happens to be my favorite of all the local fairs. Apparently, half the population of Middle Tennessee agrees with me, based on the number of people there tonight.

I had good food. I saw rabbits and chickens. I even saw a broom being made. I took pictures of the inside of a caboose. Yes, I’m deliberately trying to sound like I’m writing an essay for school entitled “What I Did This Summer.”

It was muggy and I sweated a lot. Also, I’m sure my hair was super frizzy and Screech-like.

I did make sure that I enjoyed the moments for what they were and not for what I wished they could be. I simply focused on the joy of being alive for another day, a privilege denied to many.

I am thankful for another day of grace. I will not take that for granted.

The end.

When You’re Weary

I confess it. I’m tired. I’m in bed at 9:19 pm and not ashamed. Not in the least.

It’s not like I haven’t been sleeping. I may not get in my full 8 hours, but I do get at least 6 most nights.

I have another confession. I had this blog lined up with the tag “Mondays are good again” and I had it all planned out until I realized that it was Wednesday. So much for that bright idea.

The problem is that it took me way too long to figure out that it wasn’t Monday. I must be tired.

The good news in all of this is that even when I’m bone-weary, I serve a God who never slumbers or sleeps, but watches over you and me ceaselessly.

That makes these tired bones very happy.

Two questions from Kairos

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I love Kairos. Tonight, we had another fabulous guest speaker, the one and only Pete Wilson, pastor of Crosspoint Church.

He spoke from Galatians 6:7-9 and asked two questions: 1) What am I sowing right now that I’m not going to want to reap? 2) Where am I weary of doing good?

The first question can be a scary one. You might think those little bad habits don’t matter, but you probably wouldn’t think much of those seeds you plant in a garden. But little seeds can turn into big plants, and those little habits can have greater consequences than you realize.

I heard once that you always reap what you sow, later than you sow, and more than you sow. Or something like that.

The second question probably hits home with most of us. I think all of us have felt weary in doing good. Or more accurately, we felt weary in doing good that seems to have little effect and which no one seems to notice. At some point, you’re tempted to say, “Why bother?”

So many feel irrelevent, like who they are and what they do don’t matter. They feel like the world wouldn’t miss them or even that the world would be better off without them.

But God knows. God sees. What you do in love is never ever in vain.

I love what Pete said about God not being mocked. It’s like if you had a child who had the choice between right and wrong, doing good or choosing the wrong. Even if he took the wrong path, he’d still be your child.

Even in those inevitable moments when you’re weak and turn the wrong way and make the wrong choice, you’re still a child of God. He still loves you.

I love what he said: you never graduate from the grace of God. You will never outgrow your need of it or come to depend upon it less. Ever.

So all in all, I’d say it was a good night. You can check out the podcast at http://kairosnashville.com/media/series/the-best-of-nashville.

Heartbeats

“A whole human life is just a heartbeat here in Heaven” (What Dreams May Come).

I saw this quote on a church sign on my way home from Radnor Lake State Park. It really puts things in perspective.

Life here is so very fleeting. You don’t get another chance to go back and do or undo your past. You don’t get to replay certain scenes in your life over like a kind of Choose Your Own Adventure book (does anybody else remember those?)

All the joys and heartaches, triumphs and failures in this life are but a heartbeat in eternity’s perspective. The blink of an eye.

Some days, it’s hard to remember that. The pain and loss seem so neverending. Yet the Apostle Paul said that all this suffering and pain and loss can’t begin to compare with the glory that’s coming. A heartbeat of loss versus a forever of love.

Even now, you and I get glimpses of what’s coming– a kind of celestial sneak preview. Sometimes, there’s inexplicable joy that comes out of nowhere, peace that makes its way into the midst of turmoil.

Wow. My brain hurts trying to wrap my head around eternity. But I do know that truly the best is yet to come.

But what do we do with this life? I’ve always loved this quote from Dead Poets Society:

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, ‘O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless… of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?’ Answer. That you are here – that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

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I’m too tired to be creative with a title. Plus, it’s late and I have be up at a completely ungodly hour tomorrow morning.

Sometimes, I’m forgetful in all my moaning and groaning about what I don’t have. I fail to remember all that I do have. I have:

1) A job. I’ll never take that for granted ever again. At least I hope I never do.

2) A great church family. We’re small but growing and the future is very exciting for us.

3) A fantastic community group. You guys know who you are and you make my life so much better.

4) A very lovable, semi-psychotic, very cuddly 14-year old feline named Lucy.

5) A veritable wellspring of movie, music, and literary trivia knowledge as well as a library of memorized quotes from songs, movies, books, and TV shows. You know, the important stuff.

6) Life. To be alive is still the greatest adventure.

7) Jesus. You really can have all this world and everything in it, but just give me Jesus.

I think that covers it. I’m so thankful that I’m not anybody else but me. That’s the best gift I can give is to enjoy being me and to bless others with the blessings I’ve received. So thanks to everyone who has ever been, is, or will ever be a part of my life, no matter how big or small. You are the best!

Many Roads

“I just wanted to know exactly what we both meant today about Aslan meaning no more than Tash. … You mean that there’s no such person as either.” (C. S. Lewis, The Last Battle)

The context is that one of the Narnian characters is discussing with another the notion that Aslan and the Calormene god Tash are one entity called Tashlan. He essentially says to hold both as equal and the same is to believe in neither.

I was perusing through a church bulletin. I noticed they offer a couple of interfaith outings, one with a Hindu temple and another with the Baha’i faith. While I believe it’s good to know what other faiths believe, by no means do I believe that all faiths are equally valid.

In my opinion, to say that all faiths are the same is to say that none of them are true. You can’t have two diametrically opposite belief systems both be true.

I had a visual image today. Suppose there is a mountain with many roads that lead to God. I know what Jesus said about being the only way, truth, and life, but bear with me on this.

While there may be many roads to God, none of them are passable. Some may get you further than others, but you still end up falling short. We’re imperfect people trying to get to a perfect God. We’re finite beings trying to reach an infinite Other.

As a pastor as said many times, the good news is not that you can get to God, but that God in Jesus has come to you. God has come down the mountain to seek and to save the lost.

It’s not about keeping enough rules or praying the right amount. It’s not about keeping the five pillars of faith or achieving nirvana or making pilgrimmages.

It is that God desires a relationship with you and me. It’s about God knowing us fully, even the parts we’d rather keep hidden, and loving us even more fully. It’s not a religion but a relationship.

O Captain! My Captain! Part II

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I’m currently watching Dead Poets Society, featuring the late Robin Williams. It’s one of my favorites but I hadn’t seen it in a very long time. I don’t have a good reason for that. I’m just stating a fact.

In it, Robin Williams references a poem by Walt Whitman written in honor of the late Abraham Lincoln just after his assasination. It seems very fitting in tribute to Mr. Williams now.

“O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;

But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;

Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;

Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.”

Sharing Life Together

Recently, when I was reading the New English Bible translation, I noticed that where most other translations used the word fellowship, this Bible used the term “share a common life.”

I like that. To me, that’s what fellowship and community are all about– sharing life together. And not just the pretty parts. In community, we share the good, the bad, and the ugly (to borrow a Clint Eastwood movie title).

Life is too hard to do solo. God said that it’s not good for man to be alone. In the original context, He was referring to the institution of marriage, but it applies to all relationships. You are most vulnerable and prone to err when you’re alone and out of community.

Too many think that there is strength in hiding your scars and trying to carry your burden alone. They think asking for help or charity is weakness. I think it’s real strength when you say, “I can’t do this alone. Will you help me?”

I’m in a fantastic community group. Hopefully, we’ll all get comfortable enough with each other to be authentic and honest, presenting not our best selves but our true selves.

Healing comes when you take off the masks and name your scars, your fears, your failings, your wounds. And I still think that there are people out there who can find their healing thròugh your and my stories.

Mike Glenn always says you need comminity because the first person you lie to is yourself. You need people in your life to set you straight when you are less than honest about your struggles. You need people who will remind you of the words to the song in your heart when you’ve forgotten them.

For some odd reason, when I wrote my blog last night, I thought it was Thursday. Today is Thursday. I got that straightened out. Thas has nothing to do with anything, just thrown in for free.

i’m thankful for good community and friends and family who keep reminding me of what my best self looks like and keep encouraging me to keep striving toward Christlikeness. You guys are pretty much awesome in my book.

Wednesday Thoughts

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I got another sneak peek of autumn. It was warm, but not too much, with no humidity and just the tiniest hint of frost in the air. I loved it.

I drove home listening to a Billie Holiday CD. It was in fact the same CD that I lost in my transition from Memphis to Nashville almost 9 years ago. Her voice always takes me to a soothing happy place. It’s sad that her own life was so tragic and filled with heartaches and poor choices.

I took my iPad to the Apple Store because the Big Honkin’ Button hasn’t been working right. And no, that’s probably not the name that the Apple tekkies use, but it works for me. Anyhow, THAT button can be stubborn and not always do what I want. Imagine that.

It turns out I can either trade in this iPad for partial credit toward a new iPad or learn to bear with the Big-Honkin’-and-Sometimes-Annoying-Button. I chose option #2 as it was the affordable option.

I’m thinking about all the celebs we’ve lost so far in 2014: Philip Seymour Hoffman, James Garner, Mickey Rooney, Shirley Temple, Lauren Bacall, and Robin Williams.

I still can’t imagine being in a place where death seems like the only option. Then again, I’ve never struggled with clinical depression. I do know that it’s not something you can just “snap out of,” but a real chemical imbalance. A broken brain is just as broken as any broken foot or arm or leg. You just can’t see it.

I also know that you never know the secret battles that others are facing. I can look down on a Philip Seymour Hoffman who overdosed or a Robin Williams who hung himself with his own belt. But who knows how I would have fared under similar circumstances? Maybe I would have done far worse.

So yeah, it was nice outside. Too nice to not take a little time, roll down the windows, and breathe in the air. I may not have everything I want but I do have everything I need and then some. I am blessed.