The Lost Art of Face-to-Face Conversations

  
I have a list of memories of events that fundamentally changed the core of who I am today. Almost all of them involve conversations where I looked the other person or persons in the eye. Almost none of them involve staring at a text or post on a screen.

There is so much healing and release that happens when you’re able to look into someone’s eyes and find true acceptance there. There’s truly something transcendent that takes place when you’re able to hear the words and read the facial expressions and catch the totality of what’s being communicated.

Yet these days I see a lot of heads constantly buried in smart phones and other devices. Even those sitting across from each other literally within touching distance will choose to communicate via text.

The upcoming generations are probably more advanced when it comes to texting and posting yet almost completely inadequate when it comes to actual social interaction. That’s sad.

I am most certainly not against social media or smart phones. I have both. I am against them when they entirely replace the old-fashioned conversation.

As a pastor that I greatly admire once said, God didn’t see our dire need of salvation and send a text. He didn’t look at our predicament and tag us in a social media post. He sent a person. He took on flesh and blood and moved into the neighborhood and met our greatest needs face to face. Because that and that only is where healing and forgiveness and restoration can take place.

It’s ironic that in the present age where we are more connected than ever that so many feel cut off and neglected. So many feel ignored and unwanted. As Mother Teresa once said, the greatest poverty is that of not feeling wanted by anyone.

The cure isn’t more connectivity but community. It’s not in having more Facebook friends but in cultivating the few real ones you have. It isn’t tagging more people in your posts but being more intentional about including them in your schedule for those face-to-face conversations.

That’s still what we need most.

 

Nothing on a Saturday 

  
I’m sitting on the couch with a very sleepy feline in my lap. A very sleepy elderly cat, to be more specific. She’s 16 and she can nap with the best of them.

That’s as deep as I get right at the moment. I’m trying to appreciate the moments for what they are without over analyzing them. I’m attempting to enjoy and appreciate the here and now, free from too much introspection over what might have been or what could yet be. 

I see that the best moments of your life will often not seem like much when they’re in the midst of happening. It’s only later, in hindsight, that you see how special they were.

So I’m treasuring these quiet moments as often as I can get them. I know they won’t last forever.

Thank you, God, for sleepy cats and comfortable couches and lasting memories. How could I ask for more?

That’s the Gospel

“”The One we preach is not Christ-in-a-vacuum, nor a mystical Christ unrelated to the real world, nor even only the Jesus of ancient history, but rather the contemporary Christ who once lived and died, and now lives to meet human need in all its variety today. To encounter Christ is to touch reality and experience transcendence. He gives us a sense of self-worth or personal significance, because he assures us of God’s love for us. He sets us free from guilt because he died for us, from the prison of our own self-centredness by the power of his resurrection, and from paralysing fear because he reigns, all the principalities and powers of evil having been put under his feet. He gives meaning to marriage and home, work and leisure, personhood and citizenship. He introduces us into his new community, the new humanity he is creating. He challenges us to go out into some segment of the world which does not acknowledge him, there to give ourselves in witness and service for him. He promises us that history is neither meaningless nor endless, for one day he will return to terminate it, to destroy death and to usher in the new universe of righteousness and peace” (John Stott).

First, the gospel is bad news. We’re all messed-up sinners in dire need of redemption. Then it is good news. God took on human form and became one of us to rescue us from our sin and ourselves. Then it is the best news ever. We not only get the penalty for all those sins paid for, but we get the blessings and benefits of Christ plus eternal life.

For it to be the true gospel, it has to tell the whole story. Not just the pretty or politically correct parts. It needs all of it. Any other gospel is really no gospel at all with no hope and no redemption.

After all, it’s the true gospel alone that still brings salvation.

 

 

Mystery in the Journey

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The older I get, the less I’m sure about. The more I realize that there’s so much that I don’t know and probably never will.

The older I get, the more I believe God is calling me to trust in spite of the mystery of my life– or maybe because of it. After all, faith is trusting what we can’t see or feel or touch or taste with our physical senses. Faith is believing when common sense tells you not to.

I do believe rest comes from cessation of striving after knowing all the answers. Tranquility comes with making peace with unanswered questions and unfulfilled longings. Peace comes when you and I finally understand that God doesn’t give answers as much as He gives Himself and He doesn’t grant our desires as much as He gradually becomes the greatest desire of our hearts.

So I trust in God in the midst of the unknown when there’s so much that doesn’t make sense. I cling to the Promises when I can’t see beyond the next 24 hours what my life will look like.

And that to me is the most restful place to be.

 

Down from the Mountain

“You see, all have sinned, and all their futile attempts to reach God in His glory fail. Yet they are now saved and set right by His free gift of grace through the redemption available only in Jesus the Anointed” (Romans 3:23-24VOICE).

So many see Christianity as another option, just one road among the many that lead up the mountain to God. They say that all paths get to the destination but in different ways.

How about this? There may be several roads that lead up that mountain, but none of us will get to God that way. None of us are strong enough or brave enough or stedfast enough to make it all the way up.

How about this? God didn’t wait patiently for someone to find a way up to Him. He came down from the mountain to us to help us get to Him. He didn’t merely show the way or even offer to walk before us up the path. He became the way.

Jesus is our way up the mountain. Not by chanting and meditation. Not by praying five times a day. Not by sin management and moralism. Not by keeping a set of rule. Not by any amount of sacrifices or religious rites.

How then?

By simply believing that Jesus is Who He says He is and He did what He set out to do. It’s by trusting that Jesus took on our imperfections and sins and failures and death, instead giving us perfection and righteousness and new life.

If it had been up to me and my own efforts, I’d still be at the foot of the mountain looking up in despair. But thanks to God, I’m on my way up and guaranteed to reach the top. And my victory song will be that Jesus led me all the way there.

Witness to Your Life

Sometimes, the most powerful impact we can have over someone’s life is a silent one. There are no words necessary.

Sometimes there is nothing more meaningful than to look at someone as if to say, “I see you. You are not alone. You are not forgotten. I am a witness to the fact of your existence and your life is not in vain.”

So many are hungry for such a look. They so desperately need to know that somebody — anybody– sees them in all their hurt and despair. They want answers and a way out, but just as much they want at least one person to see their struggle. Even more than a kind word, a smile at just the right time can be the difference between life and death, pressing on and giving up.

I’m comforted to know that there is never a moment when God doesn’t see me. Not in the sense of waiting for my transgression to pounce on me in vengeful wrath, but in the sense of a loving Father who wants to guide His child safely through.

There is nothing I can experience that God in Jesus did not also live through. There is no temptation, no struggle, no pain that He isn’t familiar with, and thus there is no time and place where He won’t provide a way through or a way out.

Maybe this week take time to give a smile to someone you pass in the hall or on the street. Maybe offer a greeting. You never know the power of those kind words that come out of really seeing and acknowledging someone as one of God’s children.

Once you understand the Father’s heart toward you, you begin to live out of the overflow of unconditional love and acceptance and there is enough love to pass around to someone else who needs it as badly as you.

 

More Quotes I Love

“But God will look to every soul like its first love because He is its first love. Your place in heaven will seem to be made for you and you alone, because you were made for it—made for it stitch by stitch as a glove is made for a hand” (C. S. Lewis).

“What Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they could ‘be like gods’—could set up on their own as if they had created themselves—be their own masters—invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing” (C. S. Lewis).

“Now the whole offer which Christianity makes is this: that we can, if we let God have His way, come to share in the life of Christ. If we do, we shall then be sharing a life which was begotten, not made, which always has existed and always will exist. Christ is the Son of God. If we share in this kind of life we also shall be sons of God. We shall love the Father as He does and the Holy Ghost will arise in us. He came to this world and became a man in order to spread to other men the kind of life He has—by what I call ‘good infection’. Every Christian is to become a little Christ. The whole purpose of becoming a Christian is simply nothing else” (C. S. Lewis).

I started out to write something original, but I decided I didn’t like what I had written so I borrowed a little from some writing I did like. You can’t go far wrong with Mr. Lewis.

I promise tomorrow that I will be back with my own words.

 

Under the Sun: The Poverty of Just a Little More

“Throughout this experiment, I let myself have anything my eyes desired, and I did not withhold from my mind any pleasure. What was the conclusion? My mind found joy in all the work I did—my work was its own reward! As I continued musing over all I had accomplished and the hard work it took, I concluded that all this, too, was fleeting, like trying to embrace the wind. Is there any real gain by all our hard work under the sun?” (Ecclesiastes 2:10-11, The Voice)

King Solomon tried and failed. Most of us will try and fail. We will seek to find our identity and fulfillment with anything under the sun and not find it.

If your identity is from making money, you will never have enough. You will always need just a little more to be happy.

If your identity is in possessions and status, you will always be striving for the next big purchase, the next big promotion, the next big . . . you get the idea.

If your identity is in your relationships, the other person will never be able to live up to your expectations. Whether its your spouse or your children, they can never come close to being able to define and complete you.

Nothing finite can fill the infinite gap that exists inside of each of us. Only the Infinite can do that. Only God can do that. Only God can be big enough to build your identity on and find completeness in.

Solomon found out through experience over his long life that anything under the sun, while good and well in and of itself, made for a poor replacement for God. His assessment at the end of His life? Have a healthy reverence for God and do what pleases Him– let your identity be in Him.

 

All Those Transformers

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you” (Romans 12:1-2, The Message).

The key is to be transformed rather than conformed. So many in an effort to appease the culture we live in have surrendered their convictions and beliefs to the point that they no longer have anything unique to offer anyone in the way of hope and salvation.

That’s being conformed. God wants us transformed.

We’ re supposed to be different. We’re supposed to think, speak, and act differently than those around us. At times that may mean holding unpopular convictions and beliefs. We may be seen as outdated and obsolete. We may be viewed as narrow-minded and hate-mongers.

Yet those same people are paying attention to everything we say and do. Those same people will long for that peace and hope when they see it in us. As long as they see it in us.

No one is impressed when we fit in so well that no one can tell the believer from the non-believer. That changes no lives and impacts nobody.

I still say that if you want to see change, you often will have to be the change. More accurately, you will have to be the one changed a.ka. transformed.

 

 

In a Merle Kind of Mood

Like many of you, I was shocked and saddened when I read of the passing of Merle Haggard. I had heard that he had been ill and in the hospital, but I had no idea that he was anywhere close to dying.

I only recently came to understand his genius. I picked up a boxed set, entitled Down Every Road, containing 100 of his best songs. He didn’t sing about pick-up trucks and girls in short shorts, but he had more country in his little pinkie than 75% of those styling themselves as country music artists have in their entire bodies.

I wonder why it took me so long to discover how good he was. I also wonder why we so often fail to appreciate what we have until we’ve lost it. We don’t fully realize the blessings of the people in our lives until it becomes too late to tell them.

Maybe what I’m telling you is to vocalize your appreciation for every good thing in your life (and every good person, too). Don’t email. Don’t Skype. Don’t text. Tell them face-to-face with actual words that come from an actual heart filled with love.

Maybe what I’m telling you is to hold everything loosely and to realize that nothing in this life lasts forever. Even you have an expiration date. So if you know you and everyone around you won’t live forever, perhaps it will remind you to cherish and relish  the days you’re given as the gifts they are.

Maybe what I’m telling you is that life is too short to waste on music that you don’t like. Find what speaks to you and go listen to that. Even if it’s from a time before you were born.

I find myself listening to a lot of Merle today. It just seems appropriate to honor the man who made so much great and lasting music. I hope and pray that he truly does rest in the peace of Christ that passes all understanding.