I believe there’s an actual place that exists that meets all of these descriptions. I believe that it’s a place where God will wipe away every tear and where there will be no more night or darkness.
I believe there are hints of that place here and now. We catch glimpses of it here and there and it gives us longings that nothing earthly can satisfy.
Still I long for that kind of place.
I went to the local animal shelter with every intention of rescuing a kitten. I had a certain type in mind.
I even had a kitten in my carrier about to sign the papers when this scrawny tortoise shell ball of fur started meowing at me and reaching at me through the bars of her cage.
I went to where she was and put my hand through the bars and she immediately began rubbing her face against it and purring loudly. She stole my heart in that moment.
As it turns out, she was literally rescued from the middle of the interstate. Today, she rescued me.
I know that nothing will ever replace my Lucy. That was a beautiful 17 year dream that will live in my heart.
Still, I found something I can love and be loved by so I can pay forward the love Lucy gave me.
I haven’t named her yet, but she’s the cuddliest little critter I’ve ever known. God willing, I look forward to at least 17 years with this one.
I will never not miss this little angel of mine. Even now my heart still hurts a little because she’s not here with me.
I most keenly feel her absence at night when it gets quiet and still. That’s when she was always nearby.
Tomorrow my plan is to go adopt another kitten from the local shelter. Not because I love my Lucy any less, but because there’s such an abundance of love in my heart from those 17 beautiful years that needs to be passed on.
Maybe that’s how you can finally move past the sharp grief of losing a loved one. You take all the love left in your heart from them and pay it forward to someone who needs it most.
Perhaps you adopt an animal from a shelter. Or serve the homeless. Or mentor a young child. Or maybe just love those around you through acts of kindness and service.
Don’t let all the love die with you. Pay it forward.
“It’s never too late to live a remarkable, inconvenient life given to the interruptions of now.
Love is the willingness to be interrupted.
Love is the willingness to be broken into.
There are never interruptions in a day—only manifestations of Christ.
And the truth is? Your theology is best expressed in your availability and your interruptability—and ability to be broken into.
This is the broken way.
This is all love.
Loving people without expecting anything in return always turns out to have the greatest returns.
Let’s do this today? Continuously make the ever-present Christ present. The hands of every clock never stop signing this: the best use of your hands is always *love*. The best way to say you love is always *time*. The best time to love is always *now*” (Ann Voskamp, The Broken Way).
My prayer that we will see interruptions not as diversions from our work, but as our actual work and labor of love that God has placed in front of us in the moment.
We’re always choosing whom we will serve, whether it be the never-ending to-do list that keeps getting interrupted or those interruptions that are God breaking into our sphere of influence and wrecking our world.
I confess that I’m not a fan of people barging in when I’m in the middle of trying to accomplish something, even if it’s reading a book or binge-watching Netflix. It gets on my nerves sometimes.
Yet that may be the chance I get to serve Christ in disguise. That may be the chance I get to pay forward a blessing that will come back to me a thousand times multiplied.
I want to be broken into in such a way that both I and the people who I come in contact with are never the same again.
I had all these grand plans of my nightly blog post and how I was going to tie it in with the sermon from Kairos. Then I got home. I’m a lot tired and a little sad, missing my fur baby a lot.
I’m not a fan of sadness, but I’ll take it any day because of all the wonderful and beautiful memories that come with it, 17 years worth.
I know sadness doesn’t have the last word. God’s story doesn’t end with ashes and pain and loss. Victory is written in the final chapter and hope is the last word.
I know all I need is a good night’s sleep, a little coffee in the morning, and a whole lot of Jesus. Those three things more than anything else will help in the healing process.
Oh, and I can say tonight that I still consider myself very much blessed. God is still good.
“’Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.’” (Margery Williams Bianco, The Velveteen Rabbit).
I’ll just let this speak for itself. May each of us know Love like this that takes us where we are and makes us real and whole.
Of all the blog posts I’ve ever written in all my life, this will be one of them. In other words, it will probably not be my finest.
I sat at my Mac Book and opened up my WordPress website. 30 minutes later, I’m checking all these Facebook posts and haven’t written a single word.
Some days are great. Some days are terrible. Some days just are.
God keeps reminding me that any day that I’m alive and aware is a good day. Even the days when the worst case scenario happens, like losing my beloved Lucy. That was one of the hardest days of my life, but I still saw an abundance of grace and joy on that day and I felt every one of your prayers carrying me along and getting me through.
All in all, this was another good day. I worshipped with The Church at Avenue South, had a fantastic Greek omelette at Athens, found a couple of good buys at Grimey’s Preloved Music, then later went to another stellar Kairos Greeter outing in Spring Hill.
I suppose i’m just pooped from all that activity and my brain is too tired to be all creative and artsy and blog-post-y.
I did have some vintage Allman Brothers Band music to be the soundtrack to all my journeys today. That’s something noteworthy.
“[A]lmost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that only a few people are awake and they live in a state of constant total amazement” (from Joe Vs. the Volcano).
I was doing just fine tonight. I’d celebrated my sister’s birthday earlier and we’d all had a grand time (except for a food allergy scare with my nephew, but even that turned out fine in the end).
Then I saw a short video of my recently deceased cat Lucy kneading the pillow next to mine, getting ready for one of her patented naps. I wanted so badly to reach through my computer screen and pull her out if only for one more night beside me. My heart still aches for moments like these that I know will never come again.
I know that you can’t short-cut the grieving process, whether it’s for a pet or for a brother or sister, husband or wife, son or daughter. It’s not a process that you ever get through, but a process where you learn to live with a new normal, like an amputee learns to live without an arm or a leg.
I’m also learning how very deep the grace of God is. I’m learning that His arms are indeed strong enough to carry and long enough to save those who feel they are drowning in sorrow and grief.
I know that faith in God doesn’t always make the road easy, but it makes it possible. I’ve learned when you’ve exhausted all your own strength and peace and joy, God becomes your strength and your peace and your joy.
Strength doesn’t mean the absence of weakness but persistence in the presence of it. Peace doesn’t mean that there’s no conflict or storms, but the knowledge that God can still calm the waves and winds of your soul. Joy doesn’t mean the absence of sorrow and pain but the ultimate belief that God can transform those griefs into gold and work even the worst possible circumstances into something far more beautiful than you could ever have dreamed.
I’m resting in the strength of God tonight. Soon, I’ll go to the shelter and bring home a cat who won’t replace my Lucy but will honor her memory with all the love that’s still left to give.
God is still good, so I am still good.
At the end of the day, I’m well spent.
I’m still a little heart-sore over my little departed fur baby Lucy. It’s an ache that I know will never fully go away, but it comes with lots of memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
I’m worn out from hoofing it all over downtown Franklin after a full day of work. I’m especially looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow with no 5 am wake-up call to interrupt my dreams.
Overall, I’m still blessed. I’m even thankful for the rain for making me appreciate sunshine all the more.
“At day’s end I’m ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together” (Psalm 4:8, The Message).
“You see, the reason why grace isn’t popular or easy is because it’s not cheap. To give grace costs us our right to be resentful and it robs us of our privilege to be bitter. After all, shouldn’t people get what they deserve, ‘an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth?’ Jesus responds to that saying, ‘But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also’ (Matthew 5:38). Why should we allow others to slip away freely from their wrongs against us? C. R. Strahan said, ‘Forgiveness has nothing to do with absolving a criminal of his crime. It has everything to do with relieving oneself of the burden of being a victim — letting go of the pain and transforming oneself from victim to survivor.’
Christ forgave the very men who drove nails through His wrists. And if the same power that raised Him from the grave lies in us, then surely, He can give us the power to lose, so that our aggressors weapons are rendered useless. We need to rob our enemies of the ability to offend us, by gladly taking the full brunt of their attack. It is then, and only then, that hostility is defeated and love conquers death. ‘Make allowances for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others’ (Colossians 3:13)” (Total Surrender, Matthew Terrill).
I think this nails it. In the current climate, whether it be political or spiritual or personal, it’s much easier to get self-righteous and morally superior over against those who oppose us and who seem to have diametrically opposite beliefs and convictions.
It’s much harder to forgive and to show grace, but so much more than worth it.
Always choose grace. Always choose forgiveness.
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