suffering

More for Those With Broken Hearts

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I have something I’ve learned about having my heart broken a few times that I want to pass along to you. First of all, I want to say that okay to grieve when your love or interest in someone goes unrequited. It’s okay to hurt. I think it requires as much of a grieving process as losing a loved one, because you’re seeing the death of a dream that was very dear to your heart.

I think it’s okay to be brutally open and honest with God about the pain. He can take it. Besides, he already knows those feelings that you pretend aren’t there when you tell yourself that you’re fine.

That said, I think one good thing out of having your heart broken is that it is never again the same shape as it was, pre-break. It’s larger. And if you choose the path of healing versus the path of grudges and bitterness, good things can come out of the pain, such as these:

You have more room to love others and you have an increased sensitivity to those in pain around you who need your love.

You give more grace toward those who act out of their own hurt toward you because you remember when you did the same out of the great pain you were once in.

You have more compassion and tenderness in general because you know what it’s like to need it and find it so you want others to experience the same joy you did.

Finally, you become a little more like Jesus because you’ve shared in his sufferings. Jesus above all knows the pain of a broken heart, both physically and metaphorically. He’s the one who wept over Jerusalem because they wouldn’t come to him and find life and freedom. His heart was just as broken that day as when the spear pierced his side into his heart.

So remember that there is nothing broken that God can’t take and make beautiful. No, not just beautiful like it was before. It won’t ever be the same. It will be much, much better.

 

 

 

Baggage Part III: Trials Turned to Gold

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I’ll admit that I am addicted to comfort too much of the time. I don’t want to step outside my comfort zone too often.

But I keep thinking about the believers in Thessalonica. They only had Paul and Silas for a few short weeks. They were new converts, yet they still managed to turn their world upside down.

The big takeaway for me was how they endured persecution and ridcule, but how that endurance and trial turned into perserverance. That perserverance turned into character, which led to a hope that nothing and no one and nothing could quench.

What you’re going through will end, but your story won’t. Who better to talk to someone struggling with alcoholism than a recovering alcoholic? Who better to help someone cope with the loss of a child than someone who has walked the same road and cried the same tears? Who better to help someone deal with doubt and discouragement than you after you’ve been through a dark night of the soul when you felt hopeless and alone, but finally saw daylight at the end of your trial?

I love the quote from a movie I saw that said that only those who have lost can truly lead. Only those who have been hurt can help bring healing. Only those who know how they have messed up their lives and what Jesus save them from can truly love well and lead well.

It’s all about loving well. It’s not how religious you can talk or how well you keep the rules. It’s not about how convincingly you can point a finger at people and expose their faults. It’s about how you can be a vessel of God’s love and love people right where they are for who they are.

I’m not really good at loving well, but I’m getting better. Those rare moments when I did love well were moments when I forgot about me and let Jesus take over.

My prayer is that you learn to embrace your story, even the painful parts, and help others to find the good in their stories, too.

Above all, may we all learn to love well.

Waiting

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Waiting is not doing nothing. Waiting is not sitting idly by watching for God to drop our dreams in our laps.

Waiting means getting ready. It means preparing your fields for rain so that in due time you may reap a harvest.

Waiting means an open mind, a listening ear, and a softened heart.

Waiting means trusting in God’s perfect timing, not forcing anything or speeding things up, but actively trusting that God knows what He’s doing and that what He’s doing is for His glory and for your good.

Waiting means letting go of what you’re grasping with clenched fists to receive what God is preparing you for. It means possibly letting go of something good to receive something better.

Waiting is not something you can learn about by reading up on it or studying other people who wait. You can only learn to wait by waiting, by experience of trial and error and frustration and impatients that finally resolves into peace and serenity and the faith of a child.

Waiting means living with tension and notes that don’t resolve. It means being content with not having answers, but only silence to your myriad of questions.

Waiting is to be still and know that Yahweh is God. He’s in control and His plans will prevail.

Waiting the right way is never in vain and never without its rewards, among those the being greater knowledge and closer intimacy with God. That and that alone is worth the costs that come with waiting.

There’s a lot more to learn about waiting that will take a lifetime to master, but I know this: waiting is a good thing.

 

Friday Is a Good Thing

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I don’t think Fridays will ever get old for me. Knowing that the work week is over and that I have a few days of my own is a good feeling. Especially after you have one of those no-good, very bad days that you’re lucky to survive with most of your hair and wits still about you.

I like to think of Heaven as one long Friday, knowing that all the hard stuff and the bad stuff is over and the good stuff, the best stuff, begins and never ends.

C.S. Lewis in his Chronicles of Narnia described Heaven as the the feeling you get on the first day after the school term is over and vacation has begun. That has always resonated with me more than any imagery about Heaven.

Sometimes, the only way you can get through a trial or an ordeal is the knowledge that at some point it will end. It won’t last forever and you won’t be consumed by it.

Take heart. That day is coming, even if you can’t see it or feel it. Even if you’ve all but lost any hope for an end to your pain and suffering and tribulation.

As certain as every week has a Friday in it, the end will come. Again, C.S. Lewis made it come alive to me when He described all of history as the title page and preface to the book, and Heaven is the actual story where each chapter is better than the last and there is no ending.

It’s not an end, but the true beginning that goes on forever.

Heaven’s not just some far away place in a distant time, but it’s wherever God breaks through and shows up in power. It’s wherever God is truly present in His people and where two or more are gathered in His name.

So, I say without any hint of sacrilige, “THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!”

The Sick Blog

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Yes, I’m sick. I came home today from work and Kairos and took my temperature and it was 101.6. I am one sick puppy.

I feel achy and have chills and overall blah-ness. I feel like death warmed over and served on a stick.

This little bit of sickness has helped me to form a kind of solidarity with those who stuggle through worse illnesses than mine like cancer or other diseases and who live in a state of constant pain.

Compared to what some of you are going through, my little fever is like a walk in the park.

I will get over my litle illness. Some will deal with theirs in some form or another for the rest of their lives. Some will only see in this life the promise of Ultimate Healing in heaven.

Lord, be with all those who suffer tonight. Comfort them with Your everlasting arms around them. Let them rest in You tonight.

You have a special message for such as these. Help them to hear Your sweet words of love to them and bring them comfort, so that they in turn may comfort others who deal with suffering as well.

I know You do all things well. Whether You choose to heal or whether You choose to let the thorn in the flesh remain (as in the Apostle Paul’s case), You are holding them near to Your heart.

Let them hear the rhythm of Your heartbeat and may their hearts come to beat in tempo and tune with Yours.

And Lord, help me not to whine. Even with a fever, I am still so blessed, more than I could ever hope to deserve in this or any lifetime.

Thank you that one day there will be no more pain or sorrow or sickness or death and You will wipe away every tear from our eyes.

Lord, we long for that day.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Speaking Life

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 5 Comments

A bit of a conversation I had earlier today is still ringing in my ears. A well-turned phrase won’t let go of my mind.

We speak into each others’ lives. As believers, we call life out of each other and bring out the best in each other.

I can see in you what you can’t see in yourself. I can speak beauty and faithfulness into your life and you can speak the same into mine.

The best example I know of this is a man who married a woman many considered unattractive and plain.  Over the years, he spoke beauty into her life, telling her she was more lovely and telling everyone he met how beautiful she was. Eventually, she became the beauty he always said she was.

Only God can speak creation out of nothing. Only God in us can speak hope into hopelessness, love into apathy, courage into fear, and life into death.

What are you speaking into the lives of those around you? Who is speaking into your life?

I know many times people saw things in me I couldn’t see in myself and helped me to see myself through God’s eyes.

One of the reasons for this little blog is so I can hopefully speak life and hope and peace and love into your lives and more importantly, help you to hear what God is speaking into your life right now.

May He speak beauty into your ashes, a testimony into your trials, compassion into your pain, and a minstry into your scars. May you ever hear the voice of your Abba singing over you nightly, calling you Beloved.

And may we encourage each other daily and spur each other to love radically, serve sacrificially, and be no less than Jesus to everyone we encounter wherever we go.

Amen.

For Whitney: The Questions None of Us Can Ever Escape

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I watched most of Whitney Houston’s funeral. I kept thinking the whole time, “This shouldn’t be happening. This should be the funeral of someone much older who had lived a full life and was ready to go.” If Whitney was in the news, it should be that her comeback album was due and how she was sounding better than ever.

But that was not the case.

Kevin Costner’s tribute resonated with me the most. He said that when she was auditioning for the leading female role in the bodyguard, she was plagued with insecurities. She kept asking, “Am I good enough? Am I pretty enough? Will people like me?” Those were the questions she had asked all her life.

For so many of us, we ask those same questions. I personally have never asked if I was pretty enough, but I did wonder if I really had what it takes and if I could ever be attractive to the opposite sex.

Sadly, many look for answers in the wrong places. Too many seek to numb the pain of the questions when they can’t find the answers. Whitney’s own struggles with her own demons were ones she couldn’t overcome in the end.

I am thankful I can look at my faith and find the answers to these questions. I’m thankful that when Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life,” He meant it.

Whitney, if I could tell you anything, it would be this. Yes, you were more than good enough; you were great. You were more than pretty enough; you were beautiful. You were so much more than liked; you were loved by so many.

Not because you could sing better than just about anybody who has ever lived. Not because you were beautiful and had that breathtaking smile that made us believe what you sang about.

Not because you sold millions of albums or had sold-out concerts or had those 7 #1 singles in a row. It was because you were a child of the King. It was because Jesus loved you before you were even born and set His affections on you from the very beginning.

Jesus loved you through it all, the good and bad days. Even when you were hopelessly addicted to drugs and alcohol. Even when you had wrecked your once-glorious voice. Even when you had become a running joke to the media.

And Jesus loves you still. Nothing will ever change that.

I can’t speak to Whitney in person, but I can speak to millions of teenage Whitneys out there, crying for someone to tell them they are good enough and pretty enough and to love them for who they are.

Jesus does. He can take the most wrecked and ruined life and transform it into something more beautiful than anything you can imagine. He can take your very worst moment and turn that into the first sentence of your testimony.

Whitney, you may have lost the battle to drugs, but you won the war in Jesus. You are now free from those fears and anxieties you never could shake, those painful memories that haunted you, those voices that not even cocaine and alcohol could drown out.

As I heard in the funeral, it seems like death had the last word. But Love is so much stronger than death, for Jesus disarmed it completely when He stepped out of the grave on Easter Sunday morning.

The legacy of your music and your love for Jesus will outlive the drugs and alcohol and scandal. You fought the good fight and God looked down and saw it was time for you to come Home.

Rest in the arms of your Abba Father tonight, Whitney.

Death and Taxes

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 4 Comments

Today’s blog is by a special guest, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. As far as the taxes are concerned, good luck. I got mine done early this year and I’m grateful to have that behind me.

Here’s what Bonhoeffer had to say about the subject of death, expressed better than I’ve ever heard it or read it before:

“No one has yet believed in God and the kingdom of God, no one has yet heard about the realm of the resurrected, and not been homesick from that hour, waiting and looking forward to being released from bodily existence.

Whether we are young or old makes no difference. what are twenty or thirty or fifty years in the sight of God? And which of us knows how near he or she may already be to the goal? That life only really begins when it ends here on earth, that all that is here is only the prologue before the curtain goes up – that is for young and old alike to think about. Why are we so afraid when we think about death? … Death is only dreadful for those who live in dread and fear of it. Death is not wild and terrible, if only we can be still and hold fast to God’s Word. Death is not bitter, if we have not become bitter ourselves. Death is grace, the greatest gift of grace that God gives to people who believe in him. Death is mild, death is sweet and gentle; it beckons to us with heavenly power, if only we realize that it is the gateway to our homeland, the tabernacle of joy, the everlasting kingdom of peace.

How do we know that dying is so dreadful? Who knows whether, in our human fear and anguish we are only shivering and shuddering at the most glorious, heavenly, blessed event in the world?

Death is hell and night and cold, if it is not transformed by our faith. But that is just what is so marvelous, that we can transform death.”

Lessons from Joseph

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I’ve been reading in Genesis about the story of Joseph. If you’ve been around Sunday School when you were little, you probably know the story. Joseph is one of 12 brothers who was thrown in a pit, then sold into slavery. He ended up in a high-ranking officer’s home, until that officer’s wife tried to seduce him and then when her efforts failed, accused him of rape and had him thrown in prison.

The story concludes with Joseph’s ability to interpret dreams landing him in a very high position in the Egyptian government, second in command only to the Pharoah himself. His brothers come to him in the midst of a famine, hats in hand and begging for a handout. When they learn who he is, they’re sure he will have them enslaved. But then some of the most beautiful words in the Bible:

What you meant for evil, God meant for good.

The very worst the brothers could do to Joseph ended up being the means God used to bring about a chain of events that led to the saving of an entire nation. Joseph could have been bitter and vengeful– he had every right to be– but instead chose to be thankful and grateful and to forgive because He was able to see God’s hand at work in his life.

No matter what’s been done to you or what you’ve done to yourself, God can turn it into something beautiful. No matter how much of a wreck your life has become, it is never at any point past redeeming or saving.

Paul later stated that God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Even the very worst that people could dream of or inflict on you.

I love what one pastor said: “God can take the worst moment of your life and make it the first line of your testimony.”

That’s true. God took the very worst that humanity could do to His Son Jesus and turned it into the salvation of man. In fact, that was God’s plan all along to have His Son tried unjustly, beaten, mocked, and crucified so that those enemies could become sons and daughters of God.

Let Joseph remind you of the power of forgiveness and love to change anything. Let it remind you that with God, all things are possible.

My First Letter to My Future Wife in 2012

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It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, but I thought it was time. I’ve learned a lot about myself and God and the whole waiting process since then.

I almost gave up on you. In fact, every day it’s a struggle not to quit believing in the possibility of you being out there. It’s hard to believe that I can ever be the man of God who will be able to be your husband and take care of you. In fact, it will probably take a miracle.

Then again, all the best things in life are miracles. Every time a child is conceived and carried to term and born, it’s a miracle. Every time a child grows into a man or woman whose faith is intact despite a thousand voices that tell him or her to deny that faith, it’s a miracle.

I am learning that in order to find you, I must seek Him. I must seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything that encompasses. I must follow hard after Jesus so I can look beside me and see you running just as hard and fast in the same direction. Then I’ll know.

I pray your faith is stronger than mine and that your doubts win out less. I pray you can rest more in your Abba’s sovereign grace and live out of the peace of being in the center of His will, even if that will doesn’t look anything like you thought it would.

I pray you see your beauty radiating from the inside out, coming from Jesus shining through every part of your being. I pray you love who God made you as He made you and can look at yourself in the mirror and see what God saw when He said, “It is very good.”

Tomorrow will be another struggle to hold on to hope for you, but whatever the cost in sweat, blood, tears, and pain, it will have been worth it when I finally meet you. So I wait.