relationships

The Name That Matters

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

“You’re not who the world says you are. You’re not even the name you call yourself. Over and over again in the Bible, God gives people new names. You are who God says you are: beloved, chosen redeemed, ransomed, bride of Christ, people of God, family of God, little brothers and sisters. Children of God. Did you forget that? Remember who you are” (Mike Glenn, In Real Time).

Maybe you’ve taken on a name or two in your lifetime. Maybe a parent gave it to you. Maybe a so-called friend or acquaintance. Maybe it was you. Whatever the case, it’s how you define yourself.

Loser. Reject. Underachiever. Waste. Nobody. Killjoy. Stupid. Coward. Failure.

The list could go on. There are names on there that would make Martin Scorsese blush. The names that you carry with you like the infamous scarlet letter, the badge of shame for all to see.

I love the way Jesus doesn’t call you or me by those names. He gives us new names. When He calls, the names He gives us aren’t a reflection of the past and all we’ve screwed up. It’s a future God has promised for us that’s as good as done.

Victor. Overcomer. Overconqueror. Child of the King. Blessed. Beloved.

My favorite is Beloved. That’s the one I claim the most. I who was once unloveable am now the Beloved. I’m known for being loved supremely.

Let the new name Jesus gave you define you. Speak it over yourself. Believe in faith that the new names are who you are now. Not the old names.

If you forget who you are, Jesus will remind you gently. So will I. If you live out of your old names instead of your new ones, Jesus will whisper the new name in your ear until you hear it again for the first time.

After all, He’s not about to quit on you. If He went to all that trouble to have your name tattooed on His hand and on His heart, He’s sticking with you to the end. And beyond that.

His name is the name that matters.

When the Lights Go Out

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 6 Comments

lucynarnia

I was en route from Memphis recently, listening to a book on CD, as all well-seasoned travellers do. It was The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, book 5 of The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. It was read by Derek Jacobi, by the way, in case you were dying to know.

In the book, the Dawn Treader sails into an island of darkness. It’s a place where fear rules and all nightmares come to life. Lucy is at the top of the ship, watching as the crew tries vainly to escape. In her desperation, she says, “Aslan, if you ever loved us, help us now.” The answer to her prayer is an albatross who, as he flies by her, whispers, “Courage, dear heart,” in Aslan’s voice. He then leads them out into the sunlight.

I bet you’ve been in some dark places in your life. You’ve felt trapped in the valley of the shadow of death, where no light or hope can get through. You’ve been searching for a way out, but all you find is more darkness, more despair, more hopelessness.

You feel your circumstances will never get better. You fear that nothing will ever change. You come to believe that your worst-case scenario is due to come true any day now. Your faith is at a low ebb and your fears are cresting and crashing waves that swamp you.

There’s a voice, if you are still enough to hear it, that whispers the same words what it whispered to Lucy. “Courage, dear heart.” It says, “Hold on. Trust in Me in the darkness even when you can’t find Me there. I am with you, with My everlasting arms underneath you. I will never ever let go.”

Don’t believe that you feel or what you think, but what you know. Believe the same God who has proved Himself over and over and Whose word is true. Know that He is with you and for you in your darkness. Darkness may prevail right now, but joy is coming with the morning.

It’s Who You Know

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I’ve always thought it would be awesome to hang out with a celebrity. Maybe have a deep conversation with Bono or have tea with C.S. Lewis (this is my fantasy, so I make the rules and I can talk to famous dead people if I want to).

Since I moved to Nashville, I have had a few celebrity sightings. Heck, I even held the door open for Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman when they were walking out of Borders one time. She even said, “Thank you.” I think I spent the next 30 minutes walking around in a daze.

That’s good and all, but how about this? Who could I possibly meet or know that could ever be more important than the King of the Universe? Who could I ever talk to that would be higher up than the Creator of everything?

The beautiful part of the story is not that I know Him, but that He knows me. He knows my name. He knows absolutely everything I’ve ever done, good and bad. He knows the secret thoughts I keep that no one else knows about. He knows how many hairs are on my head.

Better still, He wants me. He wants me to talk with Him and to tell Him everything. He looked down and saw scrawny little me, destined to be the last one picked for kickball, and chose me. Not because He had to, but because He wanted to. He wanted me.

He loves me. He’s in love with me. He’s crazy for me. This God who has everything gave up everything to win my heart. The Great Romance of the ages is how God Almighty has wooed and won my affections.

He wants you, too. He sees you in your brokenness and bad choices and bitter thoughts and wants you. He knows those things you’ve done that you would give anything to undo and He wants you. He sees into the deepest, darkest part of your heart where you keep your secrets and lies and He wants you.

Christianity is not about avoiding bad sins. It’s not about not drinking or cussing or sleeping around. It’s not even about being moral and having godly habits. Christianity is simply that when you and I could not get to God, God came to us. Not to condemn us, but to change us by the most powerful element in the universe– love. It’s that God wants us to know Him.

The next time you’re tempted to fantasize about meeting celebrities, remember this. You can know the Greatest Person who ever lived. His name is Jesus and He loves you. Yes, as I’ve said many times before, your Abba is indeed very, very fond of you.

20 Years Later: Thoughts on Another Reunion

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Recently, I had my 20-year high school reunion. I guess that makes me old, huh? I don’t feel like I’m 20, much less that I’ve been out of high school for 20 years. Maybe it’s denial, but I don’t care.

I’ve been thinking about the whole weekend and I’ve had some thoughts I’d like to share.

1) No one should be defined by how they acted in high school. I know that I for one was ruled by fear and insecurities in high school and never really took any chances or got out of my tiny comfort zone. Sometimes meanness is just someone acting out of hurt or fear.

2) Grace is still a good thing. I know I need it, so I try to show it as much as I can. It means giving people the benefit of the doubt and believing that who you are isn’t always what you do. So I try to give a person a break when they don’t treat me right. It may be one small act of kindness that can change that person’s outlook.

3) I’m finally comfortable in my own skin. I feel a lot like Joseph when I look back on how I was picked on and made fun of. God used it to shape me into who I am and I am not sorry it happened. If that’s what it took to get me to where I am, I am thankful for it.

4) People really do matter. Friendships matter. The only things that last aren’t what we’ve accumulated, but what we’ve sacrificed and given away. I’ve heard that the only currency on heaven is love.

5) 80% of success is showing up, or so I’m told. I think it’s higher than that. To be brave enough to show up and be yourself, warts and all, is success, no matter what happens after that. And to all those who missed out on the 20th reunion, I hope you are doing well and I hope to see you in 5 years.

6) Forgiveness is still a beautiful thing. Forgiving someone means that you are freed from the power they had over you by what they did to you. Forgiving means that you release that person from the expectation that they can fix what they did wrong. Sometimes the person you most need to forgive is yourself.

7) At the end of the day, only the love of God can get you though. It’s not being clever or resourceful or smart or crafty enough, because all those will fail. Only the arms of Jesus are strong enough to carry you through.

I hope to have more thoughts five years from now to share. Until then, I am thankful yet again for friendships that last and for memories that remind me of how good my God is.

 

Neediness is Good

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I as a recovering codependent can tell you that neediness is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be a very librerating and good thing. It all depends on where you take your needs to.

Other people can’t meet my needs all the time. Maybe some can meet some of my needs some of the time, but never all the time. Only God can meet every need every time.

So God, I’ve made a list of all that I need from You, because You said that if I lack I should ask from You.

1) Wisdom – life is hard and complicated and weird sometimes and I can’t navigate my way through all its unpredicable twists and turns without constant dependence on God for each step.

2) Relationships- I need so much help from You so I won’t say the wrong thing or put my foot in my mouth or generally be goofy and awkward. I can see how far You’ve brought me, but I know I still need You to speak through me and love people through me.

3) Witness- I can’t say enough how much I need You to shine through me every day so that people see You in me. I confess that if anybody has seen anything good in me ever, it has been You and only You.

4) Blogs- I can tell when a blog is from me and when God is in it. My blogs tend to be random and pointless. The blogs You give me always seem to speak to a need and help begin the healing process. I am still amazed that anything I write can do anything for anybody, but when You’re in it, it does.

I need God. I need my brothers and sisters in Christ to hold up my arms when I can’t. I need so much, but I am finding out every day that God is more than enough. Chris Tomlin, I think you should write a song about that. It would probably do well on the radio and get sung a lot in churches. Just sayin’.

Oh, and thank you for still reading these blogs. It means the world to me.

Still Amazed

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I had a good conversation with a friend of mine at Starbucks recently. During the conversation, I had two thoughts.

1) I’m amazed that the person I’m talking to wants to have a conversation with me. I’m even more astonished that this person wants to be my friend. After overcoming a lifetime of low self-esteem and codependency, it’s still hard to grasp that I was who God was talking about when He looked at what He created and said, “It is very good.”

I have an even harder time believing that God wants anything to do with me, much less wanting to use me in any way. It blows my mind that He can take my meager offerings, like the two fishes and five loaves of bread, and use them to bless so many (usually in ways that I am completely unaware of at the time).

I’m astonished and amazed and grateful every single day.

2) If I can come from pretty much hating myself and thinking most everybody wanted nothing to do wih me to being able to hold normal converations, anyone can. If God can use me, He can use anybody. The God who heard the cries of His children in bondage in Egypt heard my cries in the middle of the night when I felt alone and abandoned. And He hears your cries, too.

I love this testimony and I’ve borrowed it for my own. I am just a nobody trying to tell everybody about Somebody who can save anybody. That really is all you need to know about me. I’m just a vessel that God uses. Many times, I’m amazed at what God can do through cracked vessels like me.

Remember tonight that your Abba is very fond of you. He knows where you are and what you’re going through. He hears your cries, even when they have no sound. He heard you calling His name even when you can’t speak. He has His everlasting arms underneath you and He is singing over you. I hope you can hear it.

Mostly, I hope you never will cease to be amazed at what God does in and though and around you. I for one never will.

What Do I Know?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

What do I know? Apparently not much. I wake up every day and feel like I know less than I did before. It seems like I find out on a regular basis that there is so much more that I had no clue about. But I still know a few things. None of them are new or original, but I think I needed the reminders today.

1) Jesus still loves me like no other and thinks that I’m still to die for.

2) God’s not even remotely close to being done with me.

3) Sometimes blessings do come in disguises and answers to prayers rarely look like what you expected or come when you expect them to.

4) Cats are funny animals. Especially mine. She cracks me up all the time. She probably looks at me and thinks, “Dude, you seriously need a hobby or a girlfriend or something. Go away.”

5) Friends are the best. I never cease to be amazed at how Jesus speaks to me though my friends and how much of Him I see in them.

6) Family is good, too. Gotta give ’em props since they gave me life and all.

7) It’s still impossible to mess up so badly that you are beyond saving and too broken that God can’t fix you. God is still the best at making brokenness into something beautiful.

8) I don’t have to apologize for who God made me or for the way my life is unfolding. I don’t ever have to be ashamed of who I am or what I believe. I is good people.

9) Life is short. If you don’t stop every once in a while and look around, you could miss it. Ferris was right.

10) No matter how crappy the day was or how badly and how often you screwed up and put your foot in your mouth, tomorrow is a new day. It comes fresh with new mercies and the the faithfulness of God that just won’t quit. You never run out of second chances.

An Apology From An American Christian

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I am an American and I am a Christian. That being said I have a few apologies to offer on behalf of me and all my fellow believers.

I’m sorry that we’ve shown you more anger and hate than love. I’m sorry that all you ever see from us is what we’re against and what groups we hate more than what we are for and who we love.

I’m sorry that we’ve complicated something that is really very simple. God loves you and wants you to know Him through Jesus.

I’m sorry that we’ve put barriers between you and Jesus, telling you that you need to get your life strightened up or get rid of your sins or start living right before you can come to Jesus. The truth is that you can come just as you are, no matter how messed up or broken or lost you are.

I’m sorry that we’ve turned God into a political platform and a means of getting our people into office and getting our laws passed. God is beyond Democrats or Republicans, liberals or conservatives, and is more concerned with the “the weak, the vulnerable, the useless” and the least of these than those with deep pockets and political connections. God loves and blesses those who know they have nothing to offer in return.

I’m sorry that I didn’t go out of my way every day to show you Jesus and just how amazing He is and how He changed my life. I was afraid and ashamed and silent.

I’m not sorry that we profess that Jesus is the way, the only way, to heaven. I will proclaim that every other religion is about getting to God, but Christianity is how God came down to us in Jesus.

I believe that God loves and uses imperfect people. He pours out His love through broken vessels. Ultimately, it’s not about me showing you how strong I am or how great my faith is, but being a living example of how God’s strength is made perfect in my weakness and how He can move mountains with my mustard seed-sized faith.

God, we need you every day. We are hopelessly lost without you. Only You can make our lives shine and turn our brokenness into beauty. God be God in us.

The Pretender (Not Just a Great Song by Jackson Browne Anymore)

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Ok, I’m going to ask you a question and I want you to be as honest as possible. Here goes. Have you ever felt like you were pulling the wool over everybodys’ eyes, where they thought you had it all together and you really deep down inside felt like you had no control over anything and no clue whatsoever? Raise your hand if you have.

I know it feels dorky to be sitting alone in front of your computer monitor (or laptop) in the dark with your hand raised, but do it anyway. I just did. I felt really good (and a little bit awkward, too).

You are not alone if you feel like you are fooling everyone.

You are not alone if you feel like you’re pretending to be successful when you feel like you’re failing at every possible turn and messing up everything.

You’re not alone if you walk around with a grown-up exterior, but still feel like a scared little 1o-year old, still afraid of the same things and still believing the same lies you believed back then.

You are not alone if you have a fear deep down inside that someone will see though your saintly Christianity and expose all those sordid and angry thoughts you keep hidden inside.

You won’t be alone because I’ve been there, too. That makes two of us. And I would bet money that there’s more (but I’m Baptist, so I don’t believe in betting real money. Betting Monopoly money is OK in my translation of the Bible, though).

God knows. God sees all the fear and the anger. He sees what’s behind the curtain and what’s beneath the mask. He know your mess better than you do. And the real kicker? He loves you more than you could possibly imagine.

I heard someone say that Jesus didn’t come to accuse or condemn you, but to love you and transform you.

That’s good news. That’s worth being real and honest.

You are the Beloved (A Henri Nouwen Quote)

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I had to post this because it spoke so powerfully to me just now. Here it is in its entirety from Henri Nouwen.

“Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, “Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody.” … [My dark side says,] I am no good… I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the “Beloved.” Being the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.”

Meditate on that for a while and see if that doesn’t change the way you see yourself.