relationships

Communion

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I took communion today as a part of the worship service. It really hit home and reminded me of how great the price Jesus paid for me. If I had a communion prayer to express my thoughts, it would go something like this:

When I was lost and couldn’t find You and couldn’t even find myself, You came down and found me.

When I was dead to you and the things in life that really matter, You made me alive to the wonder and beauty of the world You made and mostly, alive to You and alive in You.

When I was a stranger and an outcast looking in from the outside, You took me in and made me one of Your own and called Me Your child.

When I was a captive to my sin and fears, You opened the doors to my prison and set me free forever.

When I was exhausted and couldn’t find rest from all the anxious thoughts running around in my head, You simply said, “Come to me and I will give you rest.” You took those anxious thoughts from me and gave me sweet sleep.

When I was in darkness, You were the light that helped me find my way.

When I was Your enemy, You loved me anyway and paid much too high a price because You thought I was worth dying for.

When I felt alone, You were with me in the night, holding me in Your arms and rejoicing over me with singing.

When I couldn’t speak, You were my Voice. When I couldn’t pray, You were my Prayer. When I couldn’t sing, You were my Song.

When I was weak, You were my Strength. When I had nothing in me to give, You were my Sacrifice.

As I take your bread, I remember Your body broken so that I might be whole and healed. As I take your wine, I remember Your blood spilled out completely for me that my broken pieces might be put back together again.

With this communion, I say again, “Thank you for my life. It’s Yours for whatever, whenever, and however You want to use it. Pour it out for others. May it be broken and blessed to feed the multitudes. Make me a blessing and an answer to prayer and Jesus to someone today.

Amen.

What Jesus Said to Me Today

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“My child, you have been listening to your fears again.

Those fears told you lies with just enough truth in them to deceive you. Those fears told you that your friends will see your faults and leave you. Your fears told you that I am not enough, that my provision is lacking, and that you need something more than Me.

When I died, I defeated the Master of all Lies once and for all. His lies have no more power over you except that which you give them. If you listen to the lies, you let them control you and have power over you, but if you listen to My voice and fear Me only, the lies lose their power.

All you have to do is speak My name over these lies. Believe that My love is more powerful than any pain, any hurt, any half-truth, any stronghold, and any temptation you face. I have overcome them all and in Me you are more than a conqueror.

I have you safely in the palm of My hand. Nothing can get to you to harm you and nothing can come near you that I haven’t allowed.  I will protect you and surround you with My love and fill you with My peace. I will sing songs over you that remind you that You are Mine.

I love you. You are my BELOVED. Nothing will ever change that. No lie can erase that. Sleep in this truth and know that I am with you now and forever.”

Forgiveness

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Tonight, Mike Glenn talked about forgiveness at Kairos. He said forgiveness is releasing the other person from the expectation that they can fix the wrong and the hurt they caused you. He said forgiveness is when you are no longer defined by the pain and the hurt and the grudge, but by the love of Jesus.

He added that Jesus said to him once, “You can hold on to the hate for the person who hurt you or you can hold on to My love, but you cannot hold on to both.” When Jesus whispered, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing,” He was praying for those who hurt you. He was also praying for you.”

We are called to forgive. Jesus said the Father would forgive you as you forgave others. When you don’t give forgiveness, you can’t receive it and you stunt the work of the Spirit in your life. Every single one of us needs to forgive and be forgiven.

But what if the person you most need to forgive is yourself? What if the person you need to learn to live with is you? What if you’re scared to death that if someone else ever knew you like you knew yourself and knew all the dirty, petty, angry thoughts you keep hidden, they would walk out on you for good?

I have been way too hard on myself in the past and projected on to other people my own self-rejection. I thought that no one could ever really know me and still like me. But the love of Jesus broke through and changed me and changed how I saw myself. It transformed how I saw others, no longer through my own insecurities, but through the grace of God.

The key is to believe what God says about you. It’s to believe that God loves you and chose you and calls you BELOVED. The key is to receive God’s forgiveness. If God chose to forgive you of something you never in a million years could have paid for, then it’s time to forgive yourself.

You have a choice. You can choose pain and holding grudges or you can choose forgiveness and freedom and love. I think Anne Lamott said refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. You only hurt yourself. Forgiveness is freedom to love and be loved and mostly, to be wrapped up by the love of Jesus.

I choose forgiveness every time. Lord, grant me and all those reading this forgiving hearts and fill us up with your love so there’s no more room to carry the hurts anymore.

Amen.

My One and Only Inspirational Sports Blog

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I normally don’t blog about sports. In fact, I never blog about sports. Famous last words. This blog is about sports. Go figure.

The St. Louis Cardinals are the world champions in baseball. Big deal, you say. What does that have to do with anything? Let me nerd out for a bit and give you some stats. The Cardinals were 10 1/2 games out of the final playoff spot on August 25. They barely made it on the last day of the regular season.

They reached the world series and were trailing the Texas Rangers in game 6. In fact, twice they were ONE strike away from elimination. I saw all kinds of facebook posts saying how the game was over. No chance for the Cardinals. But as with any sport, the game ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Here’s the point. Don’t ever give up. Even when it seems past hope, keep believing. Other people may count you out and quit on you, but God never has and never will. Some will stop believing that you are worth the effort of loving, but God never will.

You may be down to your last out, down to your very last strike. But if you’re still breathing, you’re not done yet. I heard this from a pastor and I’ve referenced it before, but what is impossible to us isn’t even remotely difficult for God.

It’s not too late to change. It’s not too late to start dreaming. It’s not too late to believe what God has dreamed for you. It’s never too late to give God control and let Him do what only He can do: make you who He always meant you to be.

Like I said before, no matter what others have said about you or what you’ve said about yourself, the only opinion that matters is God’s. No matter what names you’ve been given (or what names you’ve given yourself), the only name that counts is the name that God has given you. That name is still BELOVED.

Take heart, dear friends. Hope never dies and you’re never too lost or to broken or too late for God to save, redeem, and make beautiful. I needed that reminder tonight, and I hope you did, too.

Blessed

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 I could some up my life right now in one word it would be . . . . chocolate. No, not really, although chocolate does take me to a happy place. My life could be summed up nicely by the word “blessed.”

I am so blessed. I have great family, great friends, and a great God who loves me so much more than I deserve. He loves me so much I can’t stay the same. I can’t receive all that love and not become a better person, one who looks more and more like Jesus every day.

I am blessed that I know how my story ends. I know that one day all the injustice and wrong in the world will be made right. I know that everything I’ve gone through that didn’t make sense will make perfect sense and I will see it as what drew me closer to Jesus.

You who read this blog are part of the blessing. You never do realize how much your texts or posts or notes or spoken words mean to me. Sometimes, God has spoken through you to me at just the right time with just the right words to keep me going. You’ve helped me make it through some days.

If I never had another dream come true, if I never had another desire fulfilled, and if I never had another visible expression of God’s goodness, I would still be blessed. If God told me that I had used up all my blessings and had none left, I would be good. I’ve had more than my share already.

I do think there’s more to come. The Psalms say to taste and see that God is good. I have tasted and seen and it is better than any buffet or feast. The love of Jesus is truly better than wine and that love keeps getting better with age.

I will forget this, so keep reminding me. When you forget, I will remind you. That’s what the community of faith is all about. My favorite definition of a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Jesus knows my song and He’ll keep singing it over me night after night until I have learned all the words and can sing it for myself. I think my song starts off something like “All the way my Savior leads me, What have I to ask beside?”

Tired Thinking

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I am strange and unusual. I have come to accept that and I am fine with it. I have weird thoughts and say weird things sometimes. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s just plain awkward.

I have learned that when I am extremely tired, my thoughts take on a life of their own. When I am exhausted, my thoughts don’t trend toward happy places. I go negative and dark and self-loathing. I am suspicious of other peoples’ motives and think the worst is going to happen.

I have thoughts like, “See how that person didn’t respond to your post? He/she is really mad at you,” or “See? That person has had it with you and you won’t ever hear from them again.” Or “You really are no good. You don’t deserve anything good.”

The irony is that tired thoughts will keep you awake, mind churning and your insides writhing, and make you even more tired than before. If you let them, they can take you to a place of hopelessness and despair and isolation, not a good place to be.

I’ve learned a few things. First, I know better than to trust my feelings, especially when I’m tired and my defenses are down. I like what I heard, that your thoughts and feelings will lie to you, so you go with what you know to be true about God.

Second, I have to realize that not all the thoughts in my head are from me. Satan can put a thought in my head and make me think that I thought of it. That’s where it helps to pray out loud that God would bind Satan from your thoughts.

Third, I have to tune in to what God is saying about me. I have to listen to the Voice that is saying good things about me. If I can quiet my thoughts, I can hear the sweet voice of my Abba singing over me, like He does every night.

Finally, I know that in the morning, things will seem a whole lot clearer and all those dire thoughts about people who hate me and have abandoned me don’t seem quite as convincing. When you call something by its name, it loses its power over you.

My prayer is that you can have a calm and quiet soul. Psalm 131 talks about being like a weaned child with its mother. That’s how God wants us to be with Him. Completely trusting, utterly abandoned, and resting in His everlasting arms. After all, it’s not what you say about yourself that matters, but what God says about you. And He is saying good things if you only have ears to hear.

What’s Important

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I’ve been thinking all day about my friend Nathan’s family, particularly his wife and 6-year old son. They said goodbye to him for the last time last night. It was also he and his wife’s 12th anniversary.

I also kept thinking about how I lost touch with him all those years ago and never really thought about him until he was almost gone. I rejoice that he is whole and happy and with Jesus, but I regret that I didn’t make the effort to reach out to him.

My lesson for today that I had to learn all over again is this: life is precious and fleeting and by no means guaranteed. Today is all you have. Cherish every moment of it and don’t ever take it for granted.

The same goes for the people in your life. Never let a day go by without letting the people in your life know how much they mean to you. Work is important, but if it gets in the way of the people you love and who love you, then you’ve lost the mission. To-do lists, schedules, and activities aren’t nearly as sacred as loving the people in your life while they’re in your life.

I heard a pastor say that only two things are eternal: God’s Word and God’s people. That’s so very true. Five years from now, you won’t remember what grade you got on a paper or what you did at work or how many checks you had on your list of things to get done. You will remember those people that touched your life and encouraged you when you desparately needed it. You will carry their love inside you even after they’re gone.

Call someone and let them know you’re thinking about them. Text someone and let them know what they mean to you. Say, “I love you,” and don’t just assume the person knows. Go out of your way and deliberately stop your business to reach out to someone. Your words and smiles and hugs and kindness could be what helps that person survive through that day. You could be Jesus reaching out and loving that person and beginning the healing process.

Nathan, for what it’s worth, I was blessed to have you for a friend and to know you. I love you, brother, and I will miss you every day. See you on the other side.

Attention: God Wants You!

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I’ve mentioned before how I was kickball-challenged and almost never got picked to be on either team. I was always assigned to the team that had the last pick. In fact, my entire sports career was spent on the bench watching the better players while I got in the game a few times after the outcome was already decided.

I am still amazed every single day that God wants me. I’m astounded that He wants to use me in what He’s doing in the world. Not only that He wants to use me, but that He’s working through me, often in ways I will never see.

News flash: God wants you. He wants not just your checkbook or your calendar, but you. He’s got an awesome plan to change the world and that plan has your name in it. If you say YES to God, whatever the question, there’s no telling what He will do in you and through you.

God made you and gifted you and called you to a place that only you can serve. There’s somone out there who won’t step inside a church or go near a minister, but you have the best opportunity to be Jesus to that person and turn their world upside down.

The disciples weren’t overly smart or clever or skilled or innovative. They just stuck around Jesus and soaked in everything He had to say. When He spoke, they listened. When He said, “Follow Me,” they did, and the world hasn’t been the same since.

God is calling you and me to be lights in a very dark world. He calls us to be Jesus to the world that for the most part doesn’t know it needs saving. God is able to take your broken life and bless so many others with it and make your failure and wreckage into a beautiful story that will captivate and enthrall those who see it.

God wants you. Not after you get your life right. Not after you complete a 12-step program, get cleaned up, get dressed up, get your act together. He wants you right now, just as you are and right where you are. He’s not calling you to condemn you, but to change you. And He is calling right now.

All it takes for the incredible journey to start is your YES. That’s all.

Fear

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I’ll admit it. I have watched my share of suspenseful and scary movies in the past. There’s something about the adrenaline that comes from the rush of fear from things that go bump in the night. It helps that I know it’s not real.

Sometimes the fear is in real life and seems very real. Then there’s not so much of an adrenaline rush. At least not the good kind.

I have run the gamut of fears. I have been afraid of the dark and afraid of storms and afraid of loud noises. I outgrew those, thankfully.

Other fears have been harder to shake. There’s the fear that I had that if people really found out what I was like, they would leave me or at least have nothing to do with me. That the real me wasn’t good enough.

There was the fear that if someone didn’t respond a certain way or at all, that I had offended them. I had myself convinced more than a few times that a person was furiously angry with me when they weren’t the least bit bothered.

Of course, there’s the old standby fear: that I will eventually end up alone and I will run off all the people I love.

Fear doesn’t have to make sense to be real. I can know a fear isn’t rational and still have it control me. In fact, fear is always based in a lie that I choose to give power over my life.

The Bible says that there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out all fear. The more you know love, the less you are controlled by fear. The less power it has over you.

I have known nights when fear was in complete control and all I could do was whisper a “Father, please help.” I have known what it’s like to be wrapped up in Everlasting arms and swaddled in perfect love. I have known a perfect peace that settles my heart and makes the fears vanish.

That’s what I pray for you. That you would be so overwhelmed and filled with this Perfect Love that there would be no longer any room for fear to take hold. That you would feel God holding you close, feel His smile over you, hear Him calling you Beloved, and know that nothing can take you away from His love.

The old saying goes, “No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace.” I think I would amend it to say, “No Jesus, Know Fear. Know Jesus, No Fear.” The more you know and love Jesus and know how much He loves you, the less you have reason to fear.

That’s a good thing.

Thankful

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 6 Comments

A friend of mine is in his last few days of life. He has brain cancer and isn’t expected to live much longer. That got me thinking about my own life. I really have a lot to be thankful for (to use the words of an old Bing Crosby song).

1) I’m thankful that I woke up this morning. To most people, it’s a given, but I know that someone didn’t wake up this morning. So I thank God I did.

2) I’m thankful for good health. I won’t be competing in any triathlons any time soon or scaling Mount Everest tomorrow, but I am able to do pretty much what I want and get where I want to go.

3) I’m thankful for my family and friends who show me what love looks like and who are Jesus to me on a daily basis. I am better for all of you being in my life.

4) I’m thankful for music and the right song at just the right time that speaks to me when nothing else can.

5) I’m thankful for saving grace and for new mercies and endless second chances that never will run out.

6) I’m thankful for a Love that will not let me go, for the warm embrace of my Abba Father who roots for me and calls me Beloved and looks at me and sees what Jesus did for me and in my place.

7) I’m thankful that somewhere someone will read this and be reminded that God is still good and He still loves them and there’s one more reason not to give up or lose hope.

I challenge you to have your own list of what you’re thankful for. I challenge you not just to think about it, but write it out someplace where it’s a tangible reminder of the goodness of God.

I finally challenge you to live out of gratitude. Thankfulness is so counter-cultural that people can’t help but notice. Thanksgiving as a lifestyle is the best advertisement for Christianity there is and you just may be the only Jesus someone will ever see and the only Bible someone will ever read.

So give thanks.