relationships

What Maturity in the Faith Looks Like

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I had some random thoughts on the concept of maturity as a believer and what that should look like. Not that I’m so very mature or perfect, but I’m beginning to catch glimpses of what the finished product will look like.

It means that I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I’m not wishing I were taller or shorter or better looking or 5 to 10 pounds lighter. It means I look in the mirror and really like the person looking back.

It means I am at peace with the silence and don’t need constant noises to distract me from my own inner monologue. It means I can be alone and not always have to be in a crowd or with people all the time.

It means that I am finding my completeness in Christ and not looking for something or someone to validate my existence or give my life meaning. I am not defined by a relationship or the lack thereof, by my income level, my living situation, or anything else but by what God has told me and who He has said I am.

It means there is not a person out there that I can’t learn something from. It also means that I never reach the point where I will finally have all the answers and have God figured out neatly into a tidy doctrinal box.

It means that I am strong enough to be weak, and more than that, to boast in my weaknesses, so that the power that raised Christ from the dead, that resurrection power, can work best in me.

It means I have learned that some of the most important words are “I’m sorry. I was wrong. Forgive me” and “I will choose to forgive you.” When speaking to God, the two most important phrases are “Help me” and “Thank you.”

It means that you look for the best in others and always give the benefit of the doubt and never, never, never, never give up believing in or praying for those in your life who are trying to do right.

It means that I can love as God loves, giving without expecting anything back. It means that I become a vessel always being filled with the love of Jesus and always running over and always overflowing on to those around me, so that God is truly loving those people through me.

Finally, it means that I am already who God said I would be. I am perfect and holy and righteous because He declared it to be so.

Ok, I lied. One more. It means that no matter how hopeless or bad or forlorn my situation looks like, I can know that it will turn out for the best, because God will finish what He started in me. One day, sooner than later, it will all have been worth it and there will not have been any part of my story that God didn’t turn into something beautiful.

 

A Reminder to Myself

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I wrote this a couple of years ago as a declaration of sorts. It was mostly for me so that whenever I got discouraged or felt like giving up or got off track in my priorities, I could remind myself of who I’m really chasing after and serving. It’s my own version of Habakkuk 3:17-18.

Though my plans disintegrate and my aspirations die, though my dreams shatter and my goals are thwarted, even if no woman ever is romantically interested in me and all my friends leave me, though I never have another visible reminder of God’s presence or spiritual comfort, if all I have in life is God and only God, I will lift my hands up to Heaven and proclaim that my Yahweh is good to me. My Yahweh is AWESOME!!!

I challenge you to write your own version to remind yourself of the goodness of Yahweh so that when everything seels to be going wrong and it feels like everyone has turned their backs on you and left you, you can have the reminder of God’s faithfulness. Of course, the original is the best and it speaks volumes to me every time I read it. I may not have crops or livestock, but the truth contained is just as relevant for me as it was for the original hearers way back when.

No matter what happens, God remains faithful. Even when all my worst fears come true, He’s still worthy of the best of my praise and worship. If nothing comes out like I planned or hoped it would, God is still God and He’s still in charge.

Remember that in the good and bad days, in the sunshine and in the storms, because it’s what will sustain you through all the seasons.

Just Some of My Own Observations

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I am a people-watcher. Not in a creepy stalker way. But I do tend to watch how people behave and act and I have come up with some of my own observations over the years.

Most people are serial daters rather than those who practice biblical courtship. I heard something profound once about the current dating system that stuck with me– a lot of the current dating involves pretending to be married and practising for divorce. Ouch.

I think that thanks to the media and the unrealistic view of love given to us by the movies and television, most people are in love with love and not their significant other. Most are much more interested in planning the perfect wedding day than preparing for a marriage with a solid foundation that will weather the seasons and survive the storms.

Along those lines, I think a lot of people are good at falling in love, but not at staying in love. If you fall in love, you can fall out of love. Love that lasts is always a choice to seek the welfare of the other at your own expense, regardless of how you feel or if you feel like it or not.

Many parents are seeking to raise their children in church, but not to raise them in Christ. In order for faith to be genuine and to last, it must be your own and not your parents’. Children are always watching to see if you practice what you preach and the way you live speaks much louder than the words that come out of your mouth.

There are many professing Christians, but not many disciples. Many say they love Jesus, but far fewer are willing to do what He says. Even fewer are seeking to get to know this Jesus and find His heart for the world. Jesus Himself told us that those who love Him will obey Him.

Many have their opinions about what’s wrong with the world, but those who criticize are rarely the ones who are trying to make the world better. Those who are seeking to make a difference and be God’s hands and feet to transform their world rarely have time for criticism.

In the end, if I want to find out what’s wrong with the world, all I have to do is look in the mirror. I see when I failed to do right and speak up for the defenceless and be salt and light. If I want to find out the solution to all the world’s problems, I go back to that same mirror. With God working in and through me, I may not change the world, but I can at least help one person, and as the Jewish saying goes, to save one person is to save the whole world.

Lessons from Joseph

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I’ve been reading in Genesis about the story of Joseph. If you’ve been around Sunday School when you were little, you probably know the story. Joseph is one of 12 brothers who was thrown in a pit, then sold into slavery. He ended up in a high-ranking officer’s home, until that officer’s wife tried to seduce him and then when her efforts failed, accused him of rape and had him thrown in prison.

The story concludes with Joseph’s ability to interpret dreams landing him in a very high position in the Egyptian government, second in command only to the Pharoah himself. His brothers come to him in the midst of a famine, hats in hand and begging for a handout. When they learn who he is, they’re sure he will have them enslaved. But then some of the most beautiful words in the Bible:

What you meant for evil, God meant for good.

The very worst the brothers could do to Joseph ended up being the means God used to bring about a chain of events that led to the saving of an entire nation. Joseph could have been bitter and vengeful– he had every right to be– but instead chose to be thankful and grateful and to forgive because He was able to see God’s hand at work in his life.

No matter what’s been done to you or what you’ve done to yourself, God can turn it into something beautiful. No matter how much of a wreck your life has become, it is never at any point past redeeming or saving.

Paul later stated that God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Even the very worst that people could dream of or inflict on you.

I love what one pastor said: “God can take the worst moment of your life and make it the first line of your testimony.”

That’s true. God took the very worst that humanity could do to His Son Jesus and turned it into the salvation of man. In fact, that was God’s plan all along to have His Son tried unjustly, beaten, mocked, and crucified so that those enemies could become sons and daughters of God.

Let Joseph remind you of the power of forgiveness and love to change anything. Let it remind you that with God, all things are possible.

More Random Things I’m Thankful For

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I mentioned some of the things I’m thankful for a couple of blogs back and I decided to add these to the list:

1. Getting to sleep in on certain Saturdays. It’s nice to be able to look at 5:30 am on the alarm clock and roll over and go back to sleep.

2. Good stories that make me lose track of time, whether they be in books or movies or TV shows.

3. That who I am is who God tells me I am, not who I or anyone else tells me I am. Not what I’ve done. Not my mistakes or failures or even my good deeds. I am God’s beloved.

4. That this is not one of those essays that has to be 500 words or else I get counted off on my grade.

5. The peace that transcends all understanding and comes when I least expect it and need it most.

6. Grace.

7. That I know so many awesome people who have inspired me and challenged me and loved me and made me want to be more like Jesus.

8. That the best things in life are still free.

9. That when I press “publish” some little men inside my computer box will make this go out over that great and mysterious internet to people I may never meet but who may be inspired to find something of their own to be thankful for and find the God from whom all these blessings flow.

Thoughts on Leadership

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Before you tune me out, let me explain. I believe that leaders aren’t just pastors of churches or CEOs of companies. Leaders aren’t just those with big fancy titles after their names. A leader by simple definition is someone who leads and inspires others to follow.

You are a leader. Believe it or not, you are. Someone is watching you and what you do and how you live (not in a scary Big Brother kind of way). It may be your children. It may be your brothers or sisters. It may be someone you work with or play with or hang out with occasionally. You may not even know it. But people are watching you and following what they see you do.

In particular, people are watching your actions to see if they match what you profess to believe. People want to see if this Jesus you talk about really means enough to you to affect the way you live or if its just empty words.

While it sounds scary and intimidating, it can also be an exciting challenge. You have an opportunity to influence lives for the better. Someone who would never set foot in a church building or pick up a Bible could see Jesus in you. You may be the only Bible some will ever read, as I have heard it put before.

If people see you really striving to live out what you believe in total and complete surrender to and dependence on Jesus, they will notice. If they see you admit to your mistakes, seek forgiveness for when you mess up, and keep getting up after falling down, they will want to know why you’re different.

The question is not “Are you a leader?” but “What kind of leader are you?” and “Where are you leading to?”

The most important question that I ask you (and me, too) is “When people walk away from spending time with you, do they think how great and impressive you are or do they make much of the Jesus who has done such great things in your life?”

I hope for me its the latter. I hope the same for you.

Random Things I’m Thankful For

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I am thankful for the following (not in any kind of  sane or logical order):

1. The existence of chocolate (just knowing it’s out there makes my day better)

2. Ditto for caffeine.

3. I’m thankful for the days that I’m just glad to get to 4:30, because they make the good days seem even better.

4. Lost on blu ray (I’m up to season 3, in case you’re wondering).

5. Friends who have stuck with me all this time and still want to be my friends.

6. Ditto for family.

7. Jesus who is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

8. Friday. No matter how long or short the week seems, every calandar I’ve ever seen has plenty of Fridays on it, and I’m always glad to see each and every one.

9. All those things I routinely take for granted like good health, access to food and clean water, shelter, etc.

10. That you people are still reading these blogs after 6 months and 520 blogs.

11. That I don’t have to limit these lists to 10. I can go to 11, ’cause I’m a rebel.

12. Ditto for #11.

13. And I’m not superstitious, either.

14. 12-year old mildly psychotic cats named Lucy who climb up in my lap and go to sleep (I can feel my blood pressure getting lower even thinking about it).

15. That tomorrow when I wake up God’s mercies will still be new and His grace will still be amazing and His plan for my life still unfolding and His faithfulness will still be great.

To My Single Friends Out There

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I heard some good dating advice recently. The pastor spoke of how Abraham sent out his servant to find a wife for his son Isaac. The servant’s test for who God picked for Isaac was the one who not only offered to give him water, but also to give water to his camels. In other words, the attribute he was looking for was kindness.

Is kindness on your list of top ten attributes you look for in a mate? Honestly, until very recently, I can’t say that it was on mine. Kindness is a virtue that gets overlooked these days, or gets mislabled as being passive or being a pushover. All those articles on ten easy steps to finding Mr. or Mrs. Right probably will leave kindness off their lists.

But remember this. Kindness is important. After all, it was the kindness of the Lord which led you to repentence. It was His kindness that led you to your salvation. Kindness can break through hard hearts where brute strength and force never could.

I bet if you were to ask a man or woman who has been married for more than 10 years, a couple who has weathered all the seasons and storms of life, how they value kindness, they would probably rate it high on their list. After physical beauty fades, kindness remains. When the money is gone, kindness will still be around. After the confident swagger is shaken, kindness is what’s left.

Kindness is love given to the least of these, to those who can’t pay it back, to those who need it most but don’t know how to express that need. Kindness is given without any expectation or return or reward, but is its own reward. As the song says, “In the end, only kindness matters.” I believe that’s true.

Do you? Then choose kindness.

My First Letter to My Future Wife in 2012

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It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, but I thought it was time. I’ve learned a lot about myself and God and the whole waiting process since then.

I almost gave up on you. In fact, every day it’s a struggle not to quit believing in the possibility of you being out there. It’s hard to believe that I can ever be the man of God who will be able to be your husband and take care of you. In fact, it will probably take a miracle.

Then again, all the best things in life are miracles. Every time a child is conceived and carried to term and born, it’s a miracle. Every time a child grows into a man or woman whose faith is intact despite a thousand voices that tell him or her to deny that faith, it’s a miracle.

I am learning that in order to find you, I must seek Him. I must seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything that encompasses. I must follow hard after Jesus so I can look beside me and see you running just as hard and fast in the same direction. Then I’ll know.

I pray your faith is stronger than mine and that your doubts win out less. I pray you can rest more in your Abba’s sovereign grace and live out of the peace of being in the center of His will, even if that will doesn’t look anything like you thought it would.

I pray you see your beauty radiating from the inside out, coming from Jesus shining through every part of your being. I pray you love who God made you as He made you and can look at yourself in the mirror and see what God saw when He said, “It is very good.”

Tomorrow will be another struggle to hold on to hope for you, but whatever the cost in sweat, blood, tears, and pain, it will have been worth it when I finally meet you. So I wait.

Seeking

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“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself” (Luke 12:29-32).

In this passage, Jesus is telling His disciples to seek the Kingdom rather than after food and clothing and other needs and wants that tend to crowd our lives. I heard a really good sermon today about what seeking in that context looks like.

To seek after something is to set your heart on it and make it the most important thing in your life. When you seek after things, whether they be possessions or money or relationships or any other material things, then you tune your hearts to worry.

Are you setting your heart on a relationship or the possibility of a relationship?

Are you setting your heart on money or how to get more money?

Are you setting your heart on gaining influence and privilege and power? On making a name for yourself? On knowing and being seen by the right people?

There are so many things that can be good things that can lead to worry and frustration if they become the main thing. A good thing that you make the most important thing is an idol if that is anything other than seeking after God and His kingdom.

If you seek the Kingdom of God, His complete rule over your life and all that He is and does for you, then you will find that He takes care of the very things you were worried about before. You will find all your needs have been met without you  having to scramble all around after them.

You can tell what you’re seeking by what and where your treasures are. You can tell what you treasure most by two things: your checkbook and your day planner. If you’re like me, you just got very convicted at the thought without even having to look. You know what and where your treausures have been, and they have been anything but heavenly.

But tomorrow is a good day to start over and start seeking the right things, like God and His kingdom. Or better yet, today is an even better place to start. Like I’ve said before, it’s never too late to turn around and start over and be who God made you to be. Never.