perspective

The Broken-Hearted God

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“And when he drew near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “Would that you, even you, had known on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes. For the days will come upon you, when your enemies will set up a barricade around you and surround you and hem you in on every side and tear you down to the ground, you and your children within you. And they will not leave one stone upon another in you, because you did not know the time of your visitation” (Luke 19:41-44).

Have you ever really thought about what breaks God’s heart? Has it entered into your mind that God’s heart can be broken? It can. Throughout Scripture, we see how God is broken over His wayward people who refuse to come back to Him.

All throughout the Old Testament, particularly in the Prophets, we see how God refers to His people as His bride who He found abandoned and forsaken and set His compassion and love on, only to see Her turn away from Him after other lovers in the form of other gods and man-made religious systems.

Jesus wept over a people who saw what He could do and how He fulfilled every prophecy about who the Messiah would be, yet failed to recognize God in the flesh right in front of their very eyes. He wept because He knew what was coming for His beloved city.

If I am identified with Christ, then shouldn’t my heart be broken over those around me who are lost and without hope and without Christ? Shouldn’t I be brought to tears over how so many people I know may face an eternity apart from the God who made a way of salvation for them?

The truth is that my heart is not broken, that I don’t shed tears over lost people, that most of the time I don’t really even give them a second thought. I’m too busy rushing from one Christian activity to the next to notice or care. That’s just me being honest.

Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me a heart of compassion that weeps for the broken and outcast and forgotten and abandoned. Give me tears for those who will turn to anything and everything but You and find only broken cisterns instead of Living Water. May I see with Your eyes the hurt and feel with Your heart the pain, so that I can love them in the same way You do.

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Signs You’re Finally Growning Up

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I am not the most mature person you’ve ever met. Sometimes, I feel like a 10-year old trapped in a 40-year old body, kinda like Tom Hank’s character in the movie Big. But God has been growing me up a lot in the last few years. Along the way, I’ve come to be able to discern and recognize some of the signs of maturity.

1) For us singles: It’s when that girl or that guy you’ve been interested in and secretly hoped was interested in you is not. They’re not interested in you as anything more than a friend. But you find that you can still cherish that person as a friend and be the best friend in return that you can possibly be.

Best of all, you find you’ve come to the place where you can celebrate and rejoice when that person finally finds true love and be genuinely happy for the two of them.

2) For parents: It’s when you can release your children to be what God is calling them to be, even if it’s not what you wanted or had planned for them. It’s when you do everything in your power to find their purpose, even if that purpose leads them halfway around the globe.

3) For all of us: It’s when you can live with unaswered questions and unfulfilled longings and desires. You are able to trust God and keep holding on in faith, even when everything in you and around you tells you not to. You are able to pray the prayer, “Lord, if all I have from You today is You and the next breath, that will be enough.”

4) It’s when you stop praying so much for blessings and start praying to be a blessing. You begin to see people as hurting and broken and needy and you see yourself as a channel through which God can pour out healing and wholeness and love to those around you.

5) It’s when you’re need to be acknowledged and approved of and commended gets less and less and you can be okay with not getting the credit for something you did. You can echo with the words of John the Baptist about Jesus that “I must decrease, that He may increase.”

6) It’s about being okay with being in the process. Being okay with not knowing the answers or even the next step in life because even though you may not know where you’re being led, you know the One leading you. It’s when you can like yourself for who you are, not who you aren’t but want to be.

These are some of the signs that I recognize as part of God’s work in me. He’s maturing me into the man of God and vessel through which He can transform the world. It’s about Jesus reaching out and touching people through your hands and speaking to them with your voice. It’s a very long process, but as I have found, it is so much more than worth it.

Baggage Part I: Letting Go

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Who doesn’t have baggage? I certainly know I do. I’m pretty sure anyone who is over the age of 5 and who still has a pulse has accumulated some kind of baggage over the years.

What is my baggage? Probably right now, I’m carrying around the constant need to be validated, affirmed, approved, and liked every single moment.

I find myself at the end of conversations thinking I’ve said or texted the absolute wrong thing and ruined the relationship. Things like, “Did I really just end the conversation with ‘Text me’? Is it even possible for there to be a lamer ending to a conversation?”

I think I let go of a little bit of my baggage tonight. I think I’ve finally come to the point where I may not trust myself to keep my relationships alive, but I know that God will keep the right people in my life for as long as they need to be there.

I’ve mentioned before that I am a work in progress. I’m 4o and my dating history reads like a black comedy or a tragedy (either one works, so take your pick). I haven’t had a real girlfriend since I was 5 (her name was Carrie, by the way).

I think I’m more comfortable with my own path and not trying to hijack God’s plan for someone else. I’m learning to enjoy the process and the journey and not be so OCD about the destination.

I think I’m learning that I don’t have to be clever or witty (or even overly coherent) for God to speak through me.

I’m finally learning to be patient with my own process and who I am becoming. I’m more patient with the shortcomings of others, because I’ve seen so much of my own and I’ve seen how very strong God can be in my weakness.

What is your baggage? You have a choice. You can either hold on to your shame and guilt and fear and anger or you can hold onto Jesus, but you can’t hold on to both. And yes, I borrowed that one from Mike Glenn.

You don’t have to carry that baggage forever. You don’t have to let it define you or be a pemanent part of your wardrobe. It all begins with saying, “I can’t do this anymore. I need you, Jesus, to take this and carry it for me.” It may be a process, but it’s so much fun to feel the weight fall off.

May you find that what you’ve carried all this time is one day no longer a part of you. May you find more and more freedom in Christ. May you hear and believe the words at this very moment that “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Amen.

Why Fairy Tales Last

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I saw Snow White and the Huntsman, based on the fairy tale, tonight in the theatre. I think for me there’s still something about a fairy tale well told that still tugs at my heart strings.

It’s more than just a damsel in distress. Or at least I think so.

We’ve all at some point pricked our fingers on a spindle or taken a bite of that apple. Suddenly, we find ourselves dead inside and out.

You and I need to be rescued. We need Someone strong and brave enough to fight for us. Someone who’s not afraid to die for us.

That’s the Gospel in a nutshell.

I love the story where Tolkien finally wins C.S. Lewis over when he tells him that the Gospel is a myth, but at the same time, a true myth.

I read a book recently that spoke of the Gospel as a tragedy, a comedy, and a fairy tale. The last third of the book made my heart come alive inside my chest. The idea of the Gospel being a fairy tale come true is something most of us have never thought or dreamed of, but that’s what it is.

We get the Rescuer. We get to be Princes and Princesses, royal children of the King of the Universe. And we get the happily ever after (read the last chapter of Revelations if you need proof).

That’s why fairy tales will never, ever go out of style.

Sometimes I Wish . . .

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Sometimes I wish I were my cat for one whole day. I could sleep 23 out of the 24 hours in the day, take a wild 15 minute romp through the house, and spend the remaining 45 minutes eating and reposing (not to mention the occasional litterbox visit). That would be a good day.

Sometimes I wish Monopoly money were real. Then I’d be rich, but then so would everybody else with the Monopoly boardgame and gas would probably go up to $10 a gallon. Never mind.

Sometimes I wish people would break out of their ruts and familiar crowds and places and branch out to new people and places. Yes, I’m including me in this little wish.

Sometimes I wish life were like the movies where love and fortune drop in your lap and you spend the rest of your days in a happily ever after that requires no effort or sacrifice. Then again, I would take it for granted and it wouldn’t mean much.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and do a few things differently and make different choices. But then I realize that every single choice I’ve ever made has led me to this point, surrounded by the best family and friends any guy could ever ask for. So I’ll stick with my original choices. Final answer.

I wish a lot of things. Most of them won’t ever come true. Wishing and dreaming without a plan is just fantasy. Or worse, it’s delusional.

What are you doing to make your wishes come true? Better yet, what am I doing?

I am probably the world’s worst when it comes to actually starting a plan and seeing it through. Kinda like the lame joke about joining Procrastinators Anonymous . . . . tomorrow.

The key reality in all this is that God’s still very much in control. I make my plans and plan my future, but God directs my steps. I can look back and see that I could have chosen differently many times in my life, but I can see where every choice I made ended up leading me right where God wanted me to be all along.

After reading what I just wrote, I wish I didn’t have ADD. But sometimes random is more fun than normal.

Vessels: Meditation on Kairos Tonight

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

I love the illustration Mike Glenn used tonight in Kairos. He spoke of washing down an Oreo with a glass of milk, only to discover at the bottom of the glass some residue left from the dishwasher.

You woudn’t say the top half of the milk was clean and keep drinking. You wouldn’t say the glass was mostly clean. You’d say the glass was dirty.

How can I call my life clean if I have unconfessed sins and hidden bad habits and areas of mine that I’ve not put under the Lordship of Jesus? How can I expect God to use me if I am mostly clean? God doesn’t use lives that are mostly clean.

I need to be completely clean.

But that’s the beauty of it.

I can be clean if I just simply ask. First I confess. I agree with God that I did or said the wrong thing and left undone the right thing. That I chose my way instead of God’s way. Then I repent, turning 180 degrees from my way to God’s way.

Furthermore, if you want to be a vessel used by God, you can’t wait until the storms of life to get ready. You have to be ready.

Mary was already God’s servant when He called her to be the vessel to bring Jesus into the world. Joseph was already a righteous man when God called him to take Mary as His wife and raise Jesus as his own son.

They didn’t wait until God called them to get ready. They were ready.

The beautiful part of all this is it’s never too late to get ready. It’s never to late to ask God to mold and make you into the person God can use to impact the world around you.

Whether you’re 20 or 40 or 60 or 80, God can still take your life and use it to bless many more than you could possibly imagine.

I want to be like the loaves and fishes Jesus used to feed the 5,000. I want to be broken and blessed, so that the pieces of my life can bless far more people than a safe, unbroken life ever could. I want to be confessed and clean and ready when the time comes that God takes my life and uses it as He sees fit.

I hope you do, too.

The Best Exotic Marigold Epiphany

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

“Everything will be all right in the end… if it’s not all right then it’s not the end” (from the movie The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel).

I never thought I’d actually enjoy a movie about a group of retirees who move to a hotel in India to save money. But I did. It helps that the cast was stellar and the setting was fantastic and beautiful.

But there were a couple of lines that spoke to me more than if they’d come out of a devotional. The above quote and one other small exchange of dialogue:

Evelyn: “Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.”

Muriel: “Most things don’t. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.”

It does work out alright in the end. If it’s not alright, it’s not the end. If my life doesn’t make sense, there’s more to come. If I feel defeated and discouraged, there’s another chapter set to begin.

The Bible puts it another way: “God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.”

Maybe you’re in a low point in your story. Maybe you love someone who doesn’t love you back. Maybe you aren’t where you thought you’d be financially. Maybe you are like me and just got let go from your job. Maybe you feel like the story will never get better.

The best part of any story is the unexpected twist that always comes at the lowest point. And God is the best and coming through at the exact moment you need Him to. He delights in changing your story from a tragedy to a triumph.

You may not get what you expected, but sometimes that can be a good thing. A very good thing.

And believe me, the ending to God’s story for you is the best you’ll ever read. I promise.

Life Lessons from an 80’s Movie

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I revisited an old favorite 80’s movie tonight, The Last Starfighter. I love its ridiculous premise and it’s extremely dated 80’s-style CGI. However, I wasn’t prepared to have a powerful life lesson dropped in my lap.

The main character lives in a trailer park when the movie starts. He does odd jobs like fixing antennas and dreams of leaving for something better. Something no one can relate to, right?

He just so happens to be very good at a video game. When he finally beats the game, he gets called into an adventure way bigger than anything he could have dreamed of and ends up essentially saving hundreds of worlds, including Earth.

In other words, he lets go of what’s familiar and comfortable to go out into the unknown. Kinda like Abraham and Sarah of old. Kinda like me.

I was in a job that paid the bills. Try as I might, I could never bring myself to love it. Yet it was familiar and comfortable and I knew what to expect. That is until this past Tuesday when my job got cut.

Now, here I am thrust into the unknown where nothing is familiar or comfortable. The choice is up to me as to whether I find another comfortable, familiar spot or really step out in faith into an unknown universe.

I love this quote from the movie. “Things change. Always do. You’ll get your chance! Important thing is, when it comes, you’ve got to grab with both hands, and hold on tight!”

That’s where the adventure really begins. You grab with both hands and hold on tight and trust that God knows what He’s doing even when you don’t.

I am also reminded of another quote, this from a concentration camp survivor, Corrie ten Boom.   “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

So when the time comes and you step out, you find that God gives you the strength and courage to make that step. You find that once your foot lands you know where and when to take the next step. And so it goes.

Will you stay where it’s comfortable and easy and predictable and familiar, even if it’s not your dream or your passion? Or will you step out into an unknown future where a known God has great plans for you?

 

 

My Unplanned Vacation

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

Even now, it still seems so surreal and dreamlike. I still remember walking into that room and hearing the words that I was being let go, but it seems more like a dream than some actual dreams I’ve had. And I’ve had some wacky ones in my time.

So today, I took it easy. I went to see a movie and ate at Jason’s Deli. I finished up season 4 of Mad Men, where they had to let people go from their ad agency.

I am so thankful for all the well wishes and prayers from all of my facebook friends. Maybe that’s one reason why I’m not in full-on stressed out mode at the moment.

I also know that I’ve had to look for a job before and God has always provided. I am confident that He will come through this time just like He has so many times before through all the years I’ve known Him.

Regardless of what I think or how I feel, what I know to be true of my God is more real than anything I feel or think. This may be a time of testing where I am forced to rely on God’s strength when I have run out of my own.

Maybe this is where God takes away something good to give me something way better. That’s what I’m hoping and praying is the case.

No matter how big the obstacle you’re facing, God is bigger. No matter  how strong the opposition, God is stronger. Even when you don’t have the faith to believe, God is faithful even when we are faithless.

Despite all the changes and chaos and turmoil, that’s still true. And it always will be.

Reflections from Radnor Lake

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / Leave a comment

A friend and I met at Radnor Lake today and took one of its more scenic and challenging trails. Apparently, it was the road less traveled.

We met no living souls along the way, aside from a few curious deer and a couple of cardinals. After a day filled with city noises, it was nice to hear the quiet solitude of the forest and finally be able to hear my own thoughts.

It started raining halfway through the walk, and hearing the sound of the rain falling on the leaves of the trees above was hypnotic and meditative.

It was a steep climb, but it felt more than worth it. I almost felt like I was entering the inner sanctuary, close to the holy of holies, where you can hear God more clearly and see Him all around you.

Sometimes, you need to get away from it all. Most of what seems frantically urgent will still be there when you get back, but you will be better prepared to handle it.

Jesus had as much of a busy schedule as anyone who has ever lived, but He always took time to get away and be with His Father. Sometimes, it was early in the morning, sometimes at night. But He made getting alone with God a very high priority.

You will never have time to get to a quiet place with God. You will always have to make time, because you always choose to do what matters to you.

I’ll be the first to confess that I don’t make time nearly enough to really get to know God’s heart. I put so many other things before finding time to be silent before God in a quiet place.

May you and I be transformed by this living God into a people who hunger and thirst after knowing God more than anything else in this world.