pain

Revisiting Forgiveness

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“Forgiveness is the name of love practiced among people who love poorly. The hard truth is that all people love poorly. We need to forgive and be forgiven every day, every hour increasinly. That is the great work of love among the fellowship of the weak that is the human family” (Henri J.M. Nouwen).

When you don’t forgive and hold on to bitterness and anger, it’s like you’re drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Whoever hurt you may be completely unaware that they did anything and living in blissful ignorance while you’re still stuck in the moment of your hurt.

When you forgive, you open wide the doors to the prison cell only to discover that you were the one being held prisoner all that time by the past and by the pain you held on to for so long. The shackles you unlock were your own, the chain you forged in life while you nursed the anger and bitterness and were held captive by your hurt.

Forgiveness is where you realize that the wrong done to you pales in comparison to the wrongs you did to God, and the debt owed to you is like pennies in comparison to the millions you owed. You could never have hoped to even begin to pay for the debts your sin incurred, yet God freely and completely forgave you. How can you not forgive someone else who has wronged you?

Forgiveness is not easy. In fact, it’s humanly impossible. Only a heart regenerated and transformed by Jesus can forgive. Only those who have experienced the amazing unmerited grace of Jesus can extend it to those who don’t deserve it. Only those who have been forgiven can forgive.

But if you call Jesus not only Savior, but Lord, forgiveness isn’t an option. Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors.” In the parable of the ungrateful slave, Jesus points out that we get forgiveness only as much as we are willing to give it.

Learning to forgive is a lifelong process that we never really master. Some things and some people take longer to forgive because the hurt runs deeper and the scars are more fresh. But if you have been truly forgiven, then you will seek to forgive others. Sometimes, the hardest person you will have to learn to forgive is yourself.

Lord, give us each day more and more of Your heart that loves the unloveable and extends grace to those who need it most but deserve it least. Help us to forgive.

Lessons from Joseph

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I’ve been reading in Genesis about the story of Joseph. If you’ve been around Sunday School when you were little, you probably know the story. Joseph is one of 12 brothers who was thrown in a pit, then sold into slavery. He ended up in a high-ranking officer’s home, until that officer’s wife tried to seduce him and then when her efforts failed, accused him of rape and had him thrown in prison.

The story concludes with Joseph’s ability to interpret dreams landing him in a very high position in the Egyptian government, second in command only to the Pharoah himself. His brothers come to him in the midst of a famine, hats in hand and begging for a handout. When they learn who he is, they’re sure he will have them enslaved. But then some of the most beautiful words in the Bible:

What you meant for evil, God meant for good.

The very worst the brothers could do to Joseph ended up being the means God used to bring about a chain of events that led to the saving of an entire nation. Joseph could have been bitter and vengeful– he had every right to be– but instead chose to be thankful and grateful and to forgive because He was able to see God’s hand at work in his life.

No matter what’s been done to you or what you’ve done to yourself, God can turn it into something beautiful. No matter how much of a wreck your life has become, it is never at any point past redeeming or saving.

Paul later stated that God works all things together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. Even the very worst that people could dream of or inflict on you.

I love what one pastor said: “God can take the worst moment of your life and make it the first line of your testimony.”

That’s true. God took the very worst that humanity could do to His Son Jesus and turned it into the salvation of man. In fact, that was God’s plan all along to have His Son tried unjustly, beaten, mocked, and crucified so that those enemies could become sons and daughters of God.

Let Joseph remind you of the power of forgiveness and love to change anything. Let it remind you that with God, all things are possible.

My First Letter to My Future Wife in 2012

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It’s been a while since I wrote one of these, but I thought it was time. I’ve learned a lot about myself and God and the whole waiting process since then.

I almost gave up on you. In fact, every day it’s a struggle not to quit believing in the possibility of you being out there. It’s hard to believe that I can ever be the man of God who will be able to be your husband and take care of you. In fact, it will probably take a miracle.

Then again, all the best things in life are miracles. Every time a child is conceived and carried to term and born, it’s a miracle. Every time a child grows into a man or woman whose faith is intact despite a thousand voices that tell him or her to deny that faith, it’s a miracle.

I am learning that in order to find you, I must seek Him. I must seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything that encompasses. I must follow hard after Jesus so I can look beside me and see you running just as hard and fast in the same direction. Then I’ll know.

I pray your faith is stronger than mine and that your doubts win out less. I pray you can rest more in your Abba’s sovereign grace and live out of the peace of being in the center of His will, even if that will doesn’t look anything like you thought it would.

I pray you see your beauty radiating from the inside out, coming from Jesus shining through every part of your being. I pray you love who God made you as He made you and can look at yourself in the mirror and see what God saw when He said, “It is very good.”

Tomorrow will be another struggle to hold on to hope for you, but whatever the cost in sweat, blood, tears, and pain, it will have been worth it when I finally meet you. So I wait.

More Thoughts on 2012

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Ok. We’re 2 days into 2012, so it’s time for a little self-evaluation.

Are you keeping those resolutions or have you already given up on half of them and said something to the effect of “Just wait until 2013. That’s gonna be a banner year for my resolutions”?

Are you doing better at being patient and slow to anger? Are you exhibiting more grace toward those who aren’t as easy to get along with? Are you handling adversity and trials and most of all, those little annoying things that seem to get under your skin?

I think I lasted about 30 minutes into my first day back at work before I was ready to go back to bed. It was that kind of day. So I thought I would pass along a few reminders that you may or may not need at this point, but that I definitely do.

1) If all you can say is that you’re still here, then that qualifies as a success. No matter what got thrown your way, you survived, and that’s something to celebrate, even if it’s the only thing.

2) God is still the same God who promised never to leave you or forsake you. The same God who promised to complete the good work He started in you.

3) There’s nothing you will face that He can’t overcome in and through you. No matter how big the obstacle, God is bigger. No matter how strong the foe, God is stronger. No matter how hard the journey or the process, God is up to it.

4) Tomorrow everything starts over. The score will be 0-0 and your slate will be clean. No matter how badly you messed up or how big a fiasco you made, you still get new mercy and fresh grace and unlimited steadfast love, courtesy of your Heavenly Father.

5) Nothing seems as hopeless after you’ve had a good night’s sleep. Or even a decent night’s sleep.

If you need to, you can read this again tomorrow night. And the night after that. Even if you don’t, do remember the promises of God are always for you and always as sure as the God who made them. Just remember that and you’ll be fine.

My New Year’s Wish for You in 2012

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This poem, written by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, seems just as appropriate and relevant today as it did in 1945 when Bonhoeffer wrote it while in a Gestapo prison in Berlin. This poem is my prayer for you this first day of 2012 and every day after.

“With every power for good to stay and guide me,
comforted and inspired beyond all fear,
I’ll live these days with you in thought beside me,
and pass, with you, into the coming year.

The old year still torments our hearts, unhastening:
the long days of our sorrow still endure.
Father, grant to the soul Thou hast been chastening
that Thou hast promised the healing and the cure.

Should it be ours to drain the cup of grieving
even to the dregs of pain, at Thy command,
we will not falter, thankfully receiving
all that is given by Thy loving hand.

But, should it be Thy will once more to release us
to life’s enjoyment and its good sunshine,
that we’ve learned from sorrow shall increase us
and all our life be dedicate as Thine.

Today, let candles shed their radiant greeting:
lo, on our darkness are they not Thy light,
leading us haply to our longed-for meeting?
Thou canst illumine e’en our darkest night.

When now the silence deepens for our harkening,
grant we may hear Thy children’s voices raise
from all the unseen world around us darkening
their universal paean, in Thy praise.

While all the powers of good aid and attend us,
boldly we’ll face the future, be it what may.
At even, and at morn, God will befriend us,
and oh, most surely on each new year’s day”

The Year of the Lord’s Favor

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“He came to Nazareth where he had been reared. As he always did on the Sabbath, he went to the meeting place. When he stood up to read, he was handed the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. Unrolling the scroll, he found the place where it was written,

   God’s Spirit is on me;
      he’s chosen me to preach the Message of good news to
       the poor,
   Sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and
      recovery of sight to the blind,
   To set the burdened and battered free,
      to announce, “This is God’s year to act!”
He rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the assistant, and sat down. Every eye in the place was on him, intent. Then he started in, “You’ve just heard Scripture make history. It came true just now in this place.” (Luke 4:17-21)

I have a  few questions for you to ponder.

What if we choose to see 2012 as the Year of the Lord’s Favor?

What if we not only read these words as only words written 2,000 years ago, but as the very living and breathing words of God that still speak and resonate today?

What if we truly believed that we as Jesus’ body on earth, His hands and feet, could see these things happen with our own eyes?

I’ve been thinking a lot about a conversation I had with a good friend recently at Starbucks. The conversation was about how we could help people walking through struggles and issues and addictions and hurts and help them see that they’re not walking alone. About how we could come alongside them and walk with them and show them the way to freedom the way someone did for us.

We could see people set free from bondage. We could see those who were blind to the truth all these years suddenly seeing the great love the Father has for them. We could see those crippled by the past suddenly walking in the liberty where there is no more shame or guilt, only forgiveness and joy. We could see Jesus healing people through us.

I think if we believe with radical and unquenchable faith in the Jesus who made these words come true, the same things will happen again. I believe if we are willing to stop merely assenting to our faith and live it out in the open for all to see, crazy things will happen.

I believe if you and I say “YES” to whatever Jesus asks us to do and wherever He asks us to go, whenever He asks, there’s no telling what He will do in us and through us. Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, as the Bible proclaims, what God has in store for us who believe with our hearts and lives and not just our heads.

Do you believe that? Then say “YES” to Jesus now.

More About Blessings and Such

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For the record, I thought about calling this blog “Mo Better Mo Blessings,” but decided against it. Be thankful for that.

I had some more thoughts about blessings earlier today when I should have been paying more attention to the sermon. That’s actually where some of my best ideas for blogs come from. Shhh, don’t tell anyone, okay?

Some blessings are only found through suffering and trial and can’t be found any other way.

Some treasures are only found along the road through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, but they turn out to be some of the dearest treasures you will ever find.

Sometimes, the words God speaks to your heart in the midst of great pain are the words that turn out to be life and light and healing. Those are the words you remember most and hold most deeply in your heart of hearts, for those are the ones that go deep and speak to the most hidden, secret parts of you.

Some joys born out of sorrow are the ones that last with you the longest. Long after the storms cease and the suffering ends, these joys remind you like the rainbow of God’s goodness and His faithfulness.

Sometimes worship means the most to you when it costs you something. David once said, “I will not sacrifice to the Lord that which cost me nothing.” Sometimes, the cost is tears. Sometimes, the cost is your time, your talents and your treasures. In some places, the cost of worship may very well be your life.

Hold dearly to these lessons learned in the dark. Treasure the blessings found in storms. Never let go of the words God speaks to you in the midst of your suffering. Those are what will carry you through to the end.

And may you always hear in the night the voice of your Abba singing and rejoicing over you in the night as He does every night.

 

What Jesus Said to Me Today

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“My child, you have been listening to your fears again.

Those fears told you lies with just enough truth in them to deceive you. Those fears told you that your friends will see your faults and leave you. Your fears told you that I am not enough, that my provision is lacking, and that you need something more than Me.

When I died, I defeated the Master of all Lies once and for all. His lies have no more power over you except that which you give them. If you listen to the lies, you let them control you and have power over you, but if you listen to My voice and fear Me only, the lies lose their power.

All you have to do is speak My name over these lies. Believe that My love is more powerful than any pain, any hurt, any half-truth, any stronghold, and any temptation you face. I have overcome them all and in Me you are more than a conqueror.

I have you safely in the palm of My hand. Nothing can get to you to harm you and nothing can come near you that I haven’t allowed.  I will protect you and surround you with My love and fill you with My peace. I will sing songs over you that remind you that You are Mine.

I love you. You are my BELOVED. Nothing will ever change that. No lie can erase that. Sleep in this truth and know that I am with you now and forever.”

Forgiveness

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Tonight, Mike Glenn talked about forgiveness at Kairos. He said forgiveness is releasing the other person from the expectation that they can fix the wrong and the hurt they caused you. He said forgiveness is when you are no longer defined by the pain and the hurt and the grudge, but by the love of Jesus.

He added that Jesus said to him once, “You can hold on to the hate for the person who hurt you or you can hold on to My love, but you cannot hold on to both.” When Jesus whispered, “Father, forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing,” He was praying for those who hurt you. He was also praying for you.”

We are called to forgive. Jesus said the Father would forgive you as you forgave others. When you don’t give forgiveness, you can’t receive it and you stunt the work of the Spirit in your life. Every single one of us needs to forgive and be forgiven.

But what if the person you most need to forgive is yourself? What if the person you need to learn to live with is you? What if you’re scared to death that if someone else ever knew you like you knew yourself and knew all the dirty, petty, angry thoughts you keep hidden, they would walk out on you for good?

I have been way too hard on myself in the past and projected on to other people my own self-rejection. I thought that no one could ever really know me and still like me. But the love of Jesus broke through and changed me and changed how I saw myself. It transformed how I saw others, no longer through my own insecurities, but through the grace of God.

The key is to believe what God says about you. It’s to believe that God loves you and chose you and calls you BELOVED. The key is to receive God’s forgiveness. If God chose to forgive you of something you never in a million years could have paid for, then it’s time to forgive yourself.

You have a choice. You can choose pain and holding grudges or you can choose forgiveness and freedom and love. I think Anne Lamott said refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. You only hurt yourself. Forgiveness is freedom to love and be loved and mostly, to be wrapped up by the love of Jesus.

I choose forgiveness every time. Lord, grant me and all those reading this forgiving hearts and fill us up with your love so there’s no more room to carry the hurts anymore.

Amen.

A Blog on Halloween Night

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“There is more mercy in Christ than sin in us” (Richard Sibbes).

It is Halloween night, but this blog has nothing to do with Halloween or the debate surrounding it. That’s for a whole other blog. This one is about something I was thinking about today at work.

There really is more mercy in Christ than sin in us.

There is more strength in Christ than weakness in us.

There is more victory in Christ than failure in us.

There is more belief in Christ than doubt in us.

There is more acceptance in Christ than there is in all the rejection and slander and ostracizing we face.

What we lack, Christ is that and much more.

What we need, we find not in the gifts but in the Giver Himself.

In the end, it really doesn’t matter to me whether you celebrate Halloween or not. What matters to me is this: Is Christ your Sufficiency? Is He your Rest? Is He your Consolation and Comfort in trouble? Is He enough?

The more I know of Him, the more I am finding out the answer to all these is a resounding YES! As the old hymn goes, “I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart.”

I pray you find the same. When you have exhausted all the broken cisterns and empty wells, when you have found people fail you and promises get broken and dreams die and your props get kicked out from underneath you, Jesus still remains faithful.

I pray you will cling to Him as if your very life depended on it. I pray you will come and find rest in all that Jesus is. I know I have said this many times, but I really do pray you come to know the voice of Jesus as He sings over you in the night and you will sleep the sweet sleep of a Child of God