marriage

My prayer on a Thursday Night

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Lord, take all my illusions of control away. Take all my elaborate schemes and well-crafted plans and grind them into dust. Let me see that all my efforts at righteousness are filthy at best.

I confess that I can be a real jerk sometimes. I can be deceptive and manipulative. That’s me. But I know that You are in me and Your light shines brighter and brighter in me day by day. Christ in me, the hope of glory. That is me, too.

Lord, if you never gave me one thing I’ve asked You for, You would still be worthy of an eternity’s worth of my praise. If you never give me the girl of my dreams to be my wife ( and I still hope You do!) then I am still way too blessed.

I believe You are asking me to trust you now. You are asking me to test You with belief to find that You are all You say you are (see Isaiah 7:10, Malachi 3:10). What You have in store for me is so much more than I can begin to fathom.

Thank You for my family who loves me and friends who accept me as I am and spur me on to be more like Christ every day. I still believe in heroes because You have filled my life with heroes and champions who amaze me with their faithfulness and courage and perserverance.

I also confess that I will keep trying to make my own plans work instead of trusting Yours, that I will have to come back again and again to confess and repent of my failed schemes, and I will keep finding out how precious Your forgiveness and grace really are.

So, thank you for it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly. All of it leads me to You and is transforming me into the image of Your Son. Thank you!

Amen.

What true beauty looks like (from a guy’s perspective)

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grace kelly

This may get me into trouble. I’m venturing out beyond my comfort zone into uncharted territory for me as a man. I am probably way out of my league on this, but here’s what I believe about true feminine beauty. So read it with a dash of salt and a touch of grace (or more like a whole heaping handful of grace).

True beauty is more about character than cosmetics. Instead of putting on the latest fashion, it’s about putting on “compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it” (Colossians 3:12).” Some questions I would ask any woman who wants to be known for her beauty are: 1) How do you treat those who are different than you? 2) Do you go out of your way to associate with those who are not in your social circles, and possibly beneath you in terms of societal rankings? 3) Have you given of yourself to someone you know will never be able to repay you?

In my opinion, true beauty means a woman need not always try to prove or justify herself. It means that she knows who she is, or better yet Whose she is. That she is a daughter of the King, a princess and knows how to act like one. It means that if I ever want to pursue and court her, I must treat her like the princess and child of God she is. True beauty means that if I took her and turned her over, I would see God’s signature as proof of her priceless worth (and yes, that one came from Mike Glenn, not me. Gotta give props where props are due!)

Charm is deceitful and beauty of the outer kind is vain and fleeting. But fearing the Lord is what makes a woman lovely. I have always thought that Grace Kelly was one of the most beautiful women ever, and I think it’s because you see gentleness and kindness in her eyes.

I’ve changed a lot in my views about what makes a woman beautiful. Now I think what makes her beautiful is her transparency, where Christ shines brightest through her. That’s what I want in a wife. That and a sense of humor, cause she’s pretty much gonna need it with me. And maybe Rachel Ray’s cooking skills. Ok, that last part was a joke. Maybe.

I’ve probably got a whole lot to learn about this topic, but I hope I’ve made a good start. Which is always being willing to admit how little you know about what you thought you had all figured out. That’s where I am.

My kind of protest

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You’ve probably heard of the pastor in Florida who was planning to burn Korans on 9/11. Or the Afghans who are burning tires in protest of our protests. On any given day, you can pick up a newspaper and read of a protest or a picket or a rally against for for any number of things. Here’s my idea of a protest: love.

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you” (Matthew 5:43-48).

I’m not talking about feel-good warm and fuzzy love, or flowers and candy romantic love. I am talking about Love that changed the world. Love that caused Jesus to lay down His life for His enemies. I’m talking about turning the other cheek when someone strikes you. By the way, I learned from someone that in Roman culture, it was considered shameful to strike someone with either your left hand or the back of your right hand. So, turning your cheek is saying in fact, “You will either have to shame yourself or back down.” It is a non-violent protest. It means that my love is stronger than your hate.

I’m talking about when someone asks for your shirt, you give him your coat as well. When some forces you to do something you don’t like, not only do that thing, but go beyond what he is asking and go the extra mile. I’m talking a lifestyle of generosity. Giving your life away every single day. Dying to your rights and coming alive to the Kingdom of God. So love your enemies and pray for them. Pray that God’s love would change them into allies. Remember that God’s blessings falls on us all, regardless of whether we are good or bad or ugly. And without the grace of God, we are all ugly and wicked. All of us.

Lord, show me one practical way I can live out Your love toward my enemy. Let Your love conquer my hate, and Your grace overwhelm my pettiness. May I be Jesus not just toward those I think deserve it, but to everyone, especially the undeserving, because I was once undeserving, too.

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness

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“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled” (Matthew 5:6)

When I think of hungering and thirsting for righteousness, I don’t think of when I would like dessert after a good meal. I don’t even think about when I am late for a meal and how “hungry” I feel. I think of someone who is starving to death and the lengths they will go to get food. To hunger and thirst for righteousness means more than simply wanting to in right standing with God and to please Him; it means that everything in me longs and yearns to see God glorified by my life.

The Message puts it this way: “You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.”

The question is: How badly do you want God? Not how badly do you want your prayers answered or how badly do you want gifts and blessings from God, but how badly do you long for God Himself? Honestly, I seek after many other things more than I seek after God, including but not limited to approval, attention, a dating life, and spiritual experiences. Is it any wonder that these things, whether I obtain them or not, will leave me empty and hollow? Only God can fill a God-shaped hole in my heart.

The hard part is that if you love and long for God, you will love and long for fellowship and community with His people. If you don’t love and long for His people, you don’t really long for God. Jesus says, If you love me, you will love my church (and that doesn’t mean you will love a building or a campus, it means you will love God’s people). If you are pulling away from God’s people, how can you say you are drawing near to God? I know there are seasons of solitude that God calls us to, but if we have no desire to pray for and support and encourage our brothers and sisters, we really are saying we have no desire for God.

Sometimes, when someone isn’t in a place where they can seek God and God’s people, we can rally around that person and pray God’s healing and restoration for him or her. A friend of mine said sometimes when you can only give 40%, I must be the one to give the 160% to make up the difference.

What does it mean to be filled? It means overflowing beyond your capacity to receive. It means God gives you so much that it runs over in you and spills into the lives of those around you. To be filled means to have life abundantly, or life to the full, that God will give beyond anything we could ever ask or expect or hope. As John Piper says, “God will not give up the glory of being the Giver.”

As always, I believe. Help my unbelief.