love

Unwanted

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I heard a beautiful story today in a sermon. The story was about 200 or so girls born in a village in India where boys are preferred. The fathers all named them “Unwanted,” because they were hoping for sons.

Later, these girls had a chance to get new birth certificates and choose their own new names. They chose names like “Wanted” and “Happy” and “Beautiful”.

In the same way, some of you have felt Unwanted at times. I know I have. I have a family who loves me and wants me, but some of you had parents that didn’t want you or gave you away or left you.  Maybe it was a husband or a wife. Maybe a son or a daughter. Maybe a close friend. They as much as told you that you were Unwanted.

Have you ever been at a party and felt left out and like you were not wanted there? Have you ever been in a large crowd and felt completely alone, like no one understood you or your circumstances? You thought to yourself that you might as well have been wearing a name tag that read Unwanted.

 Have you ever come to the conclusion in the dark watches of the night that the world would have been better off without you in it? That you are a worthless waste of space?

The good news of the gospel is that through the cross, God is calling the Unwanteds of the world and giving them a new birth certificate and a new name. Your new birthday is the day you said YES to Jesus and his forgiveness bought by blood.

Your new name is what God has chosen to call you. Wanted. Beautiful. Forgiven. Blessed. Son of the King. Daughter of the King. And, my very favorite of all, BELOVED.

When it felt like no one else wanted you, God did. He died to prove it. He still wants you to be a part of what He’s doing. He wants to take the broken and shattered pieces of your heart and your life and put them back together.

He wants to take your unholy mess of a life and transform it into something that shines and radiates the glory of Christ. He wants to take your scars and pain and make them testimonies. He wants to take you and make you a beautiful and glorious witness to the power of His love. He wants you.

If you say YES to Jesus, there’s no telling what He can do through you. You’ll never cease to be amazed at all God does in you and how He uses your hands and feet to bless those in your life. If He could turn the 1st century world upside down through 12 nobodies, imagine what He can do with you!

I can’t wait to see what that will be.

Blessed

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 I could some up my life right now in one word it would be . . . . chocolate. No, not really, although chocolate does take me to a happy place. My life could be summed up nicely by the word “blessed.”

I am so blessed. I have great family, great friends, and a great God who loves me so much more than I deserve. He loves me so much I can’t stay the same. I can’t receive all that love and not become a better person, one who looks more and more like Jesus every day.

I am blessed that I know how my story ends. I know that one day all the injustice and wrong in the world will be made right. I know that everything I’ve gone through that didn’t make sense will make perfect sense and I will see it as what drew me closer to Jesus.

You who read this blog are part of the blessing. You never do realize how much your texts or posts or notes or spoken words mean to me. Sometimes, God has spoken through you to me at just the right time with just the right words to keep me going. You’ve helped me make it through some days.

If I never had another dream come true, if I never had another desire fulfilled, and if I never had another visible expression of God’s goodness, I would still be blessed. If God told me that I had used up all my blessings and had none left, I would be good. I’ve had more than my share already.

I do think there’s more to come. The Psalms say to taste and see that God is good. I have tasted and seen and it is better than any buffet or feast. The love of Jesus is truly better than wine and that love keeps getting better with age.

I will forget this, so keep reminding me. When you forget, I will remind you. That’s what the community of faith is all about. My favorite definition of a friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.

Jesus knows my song and He’ll keep singing it over me night after night until I have learned all the words and can sing it for myself. I think my song starts off something like “All the way my Savior leads me, What have I to ask beside?”

Tired Thinking

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 2 Comments

I am strange and unusual. I have come to accept that and I am fine with it. I have weird thoughts and say weird things sometimes. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes it’s just plain awkward.

I have learned that when I am extremely tired, my thoughts take on a life of their own. When I am exhausted, my thoughts don’t trend toward happy places. I go negative and dark and self-loathing. I am suspicious of other peoples’ motives and think the worst is going to happen.

I have thoughts like, “See how that person didn’t respond to your post? He/she is really mad at you,” or “See? That person has had it with you and you won’t ever hear from them again.” Or “You really are no good. You don’t deserve anything good.”

The irony is that tired thoughts will keep you awake, mind churning and your insides writhing, and make you even more tired than before. If you let them, they can take you to a place of hopelessness and despair and isolation, not a good place to be.

I’ve learned a few things. First, I know better than to trust my feelings, especially when I’m tired and my defenses are down. I like what I heard, that your thoughts and feelings will lie to you, so you go with what you know to be true about God.

Second, I have to realize that not all the thoughts in my head are from me. Satan can put a thought in my head and make me think that I thought of it. That’s where it helps to pray out loud that God would bind Satan from your thoughts.

Third, I have to tune in to what God is saying about me. I have to listen to the Voice that is saying good things about me. If I can quiet my thoughts, I can hear the sweet voice of my Abba singing over me, like He does every night.

Finally, I know that in the morning, things will seem a whole lot clearer and all those dire thoughts about people who hate me and have abandoned me don’t seem quite as convincing. When you call something by its name, it loses its power over you.

My prayer is that you can have a calm and quiet soul. Psalm 131 talks about being like a weaned child with its mother. That’s how God wants us to be with Him. Completely trusting, utterly abandoned, and resting in His everlasting arms. After all, it’s not what you say about yourself that matters, but what God says about you. And He is saying good things if you only have ears to hear.

The Life of Faith

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

As I get older, the more I learn about what it really means to live by faith. The more I see that the old Sunday School answers and bumper sticker theology just don’t cut it. The more I see my deep need for Jesus and how He is more than able to be all that I need and more.

The life of faith for me is one of amazement and surprise at what God is doing in me. I see how I am different from who I was 6 months ago and how God continues to work in me to be more like Jesus. He keeps bringing people into my life who bless and encourage me and show me a little more of Christ.

I am amazed at what God can do if we bring our mustard-sized faith and give Him just the tiniest place to start in our lives. I’ve seen addictions overcome, strongholds demolished, weakness made strong, defeat turned to victory, and ugly messes made into beautiful testimonies.

The life of faith can never be a half-hearted affair. You have to be all in. But once you’re in, you’re never the same. You never know where this life will take you, but you can be sure that the One driving knows exactly where He’s going. You can trust Him absolutely to lead you right.

It’s not about how much you know or how you’ve got your doctrines lined up in neat little rows. It’s about confessing that I am poor in spirit and boasting in my weakness, because my weakness is where God’s strength works best.

The life of faith is taking you somwhere. The final destination is heaven and total Christlikeness. It’s also a process. As the old commercial said, “Life is a journey. Enjoy the ride.” That goes doubly for the life of faith.

Keep your eyes open and your heart surrendered and your hands unclenched and you will never cease to be amazed at what God does.

What’s Important

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I’ve been thinking all day about my friend Nathan’s family, particularly his wife and 6-year old son. They said goodbye to him for the last time last night. It was also he and his wife’s 12th anniversary.

I also kept thinking about how I lost touch with him all those years ago and never really thought about him until he was almost gone. I rejoice that he is whole and happy and with Jesus, but I regret that I didn’t make the effort to reach out to him.

My lesson for today that I had to learn all over again is this: life is precious and fleeting and by no means guaranteed. Today is all you have. Cherish every moment of it and don’t ever take it for granted.

The same goes for the people in your life. Never let a day go by without letting the people in your life know how much they mean to you. Work is important, but if it gets in the way of the people you love and who love you, then you’ve lost the mission. To-do lists, schedules, and activities aren’t nearly as sacred as loving the people in your life while they’re in your life.

I heard a pastor say that only two things are eternal: God’s Word and God’s people. That’s so very true. Five years from now, you won’t remember what grade you got on a paper or what you did at work or how many checks you had on your list of things to get done. You will remember those people that touched your life and encouraged you when you desparately needed it. You will carry their love inside you even after they’re gone.

Call someone and let them know you’re thinking about them. Text someone and let them know what they mean to you. Say, “I love you,” and don’t just assume the person knows. Go out of your way and deliberately stop your business to reach out to someone. Your words and smiles and hugs and kindness could be what helps that person survive through that day. You could be Jesus reaching out and loving that person and beginning the healing process.

Nathan, for what it’s worth, I was blessed to have you for a friend and to know you. I love you, brother, and I will miss you every day. See you on the other side.

Fear

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I’ll admit it. I have watched my share of suspenseful and scary movies in the past. There’s something about the adrenaline that comes from the rush of fear from things that go bump in the night. It helps that I know it’s not real.

Sometimes the fear is in real life and seems very real. Then there’s not so much of an adrenaline rush. At least not the good kind.

I have run the gamut of fears. I have been afraid of the dark and afraid of storms and afraid of loud noises. I outgrew those, thankfully.

Other fears have been harder to shake. There’s the fear that I had that if people really found out what I was like, they would leave me or at least have nothing to do with me. That the real me wasn’t good enough.

There was the fear that if someone didn’t respond a certain way or at all, that I had offended them. I had myself convinced more than a few times that a person was furiously angry with me when they weren’t the least bit bothered.

Of course, there’s the old standby fear: that I will eventually end up alone and I will run off all the people I love.

Fear doesn’t have to make sense to be real. I can know a fear isn’t rational and still have it control me. In fact, fear is always based in a lie that I choose to give power over my life.

The Bible says that there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out all fear. The more you know love, the less you are controlled by fear. The less power it has over you.

I have known nights when fear was in complete control and all I could do was whisper a “Father, please help.” I have known what it’s like to be wrapped up in Everlasting arms and swaddled in perfect love. I have known a perfect peace that settles my heart and makes the fears vanish.

That’s what I pray for you. That you would be so overwhelmed and filled with this Perfect Love that there would be no longer any room for fear to take hold. That you would feel God holding you close, feel His smile over you, hear Him calling you Beloved, and know that nothing can take you away from His love.

The old saying goes, “No Jesus, No Peace. Know Jesus, Know Peace.” I think I would amend it to say, “No Jesus, Know Fear. Know Jesus, No Fear.” The more you know and love Jesus and know how much He loves you, the less you have reason to fear.

That’s a good thing.

Thankful

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 6 Comments

A friend of mine is in his last few days of life. He has brain cancer and isn’t expected to live much longer. That got me thinking about my own life. I really have a lot to be thankful for (to use the words of an old Bing Crosby song).

1) I’m thankful that I woke up this morning. To most people, it’s a given, but I know that someone didn’t wake up this morning. So I thank God I did.

2) I’m thankful for good health. I won’t be competing in any triathlons any time soon or scaling Mount Everest tomorrow, but I am able to do pretty much what I want and get where I want to go.

3) I’m thankful for my family and friends who show me what love looks like and who are Jesus to me on a daily basis. I am better for all of you being in my life.

4) I’m thankful for music and the right song at just the right time that speaks to me when nothing else can.

5) I’m thankful for saving grace and for new mercies and endless second chances that never will run out.

6) I’m thankful for a Love that will not let me go, for the warm embrace of my Abba Father who roots for me and calls me Beloved and looks at me and sees what Jesus did for me and in my place.

7) I’m thankful that somewhere someone will read this and be reminded that God is still good and He still loves them and there’s one more reason not to give up or lose hope.

I challenge you to have your own list of what you’re thankful for. I challenge you not just to think about it, but write it out someplace where it’s a tangible reminder of the goodness of God.

I finally challenge you to live out of gratitude. Thankfulness is so counter-cultural that people can’t help but notice. Thanksgiving as a lifestyle is the best advertisement for Christianity there is and you just may be the only Jesus someone will ever see and the only Bible someone will ever read.

So give thanks.

Whose Side Is God On, Really?

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It’s funny how during an election year how people are suddenly all about God. Both Republicans and Democrats are conviced that God is absolutely 100% behind their cause and 100% against the other side.

Anne Lamott once said that you know you’ve created God in your own image when He hates all the same people you do. The same goes for when God only likes people who are like you and think like you.

I try not to get caught up in all that. All I get from trying to figure all that out is a headache. I do know for sure whose side God is on and who God is for. God is for me. God is for you. That’s God’s side.

If God is for you, who can be against you? So the apostle Paul asks. But in order for that to work, it means God is for you. He roots for you. He wants the absolute best for you.

No matter what your life looks like or how far you are from where you and everybody else thinks you should be, God is for you. No matter how many blown second chances and bad choices and broken promises you’ve made, God is for you.

God is 100% absolutely, undeniably, unmistakably, irrevocably for you. He is 100% guaranteed not to give up on you, walk out on you, quit on you, or love you even one iota less than His fullest capacity to love.

I know whose side I want to be on. I want to be on the side of God. I want to be on the side of Jesus. But even on those days when I am so wishy-washy and undependable that God is still on my side. Those are the days where it may look like failure, but God sees it as me becoming a little more like Jesus. I call that success.

God is for you. God is for me. That’s the best news ever.

Another Day, Another Dollar, Another Lesson Learned

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I had a professor once that said, “Of all the classes I’ve seen, this is one of ’em.” That’s how I generally feel about Mondays. Of all the Mondays I’ve lived through and survived, today was one of them. Not great, not bad, just kinda there.

I got reminded that although I continue to fail and sin and fall into the same old temptation traps, grace is as sweet and the mercies of God are as fresh and new as ever. I am eternally held by the loving arms of my God and nothing will ever cause Him to let go. Not the weather, not current events, not famine or feast or flood. Not anyone else or anything else in this whole wide world. And not me.

I also got reminded that all those things I don’t have and all the desires in my heart that are unfulfilled are in Good Hands. I spend way too much time obsessing over how I can ever get married or get a better job or how to help God out instead of just breathing deeply in and out, relaxing, and trusting God to do what only He can do.

I think Monday gets a bad rap. I give Monday a bad rap sometimes. I know you’ve heard that Monday is a terrible way to spend 1/7 of your life. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Monday is the new start and the clean slate of the week. Just as those mercies of God are new every morning, so every week you get a fresh chance to cease striving and worrying and to really trust God and His promises. No matter how badly you failed last week, this week starts with a clean slate.

I hope that helps. Tonight I will go to bed, looking back at that one sin trap I not only didn’t avoid but rushed headlong into. I will see sour-graps attitudes, grumbling, opportunities not taken to share and be Jesus to somebody. I will see pettiness and bitterness instead of gratitude.

But tomorrow I will wake up and the score will be 0-0. The slate will be clean and all those past sins forgiven, forgotten and forever behind me.

So if I just wrote this blog for me only, it was totally worth it. I needed to remind myself of just how good the grace of God is and how He’s not even close to quitting on me. I will still hear that sweet voice singing over me in the night and that voice will still call me BELOVED.

The same goes for you, too. Happy Monday!

Excerpts from Sarah’s Journal

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(This is what I imagine Sarah would have written in her journal while she waited on the fulfillment God’s promise. This may not be 100% dead-on accurate as far as ages and times, but I think it’s somewhat close)

Age 20– Married to a wonderful man. Abraham is as kind and gentle a husband as a wife could want, but my heart aches for a child. Lord, please send me a son.

Age 30– More and more I see other wives who have been abundantly blessed with so many children and still I have none. I am ashamed that I still haven’t given Abraham a son.

Age 40– I pretend that Abraham and I are happy and that we are content with being childless. Even Abraham doesn’t know that I cry myself to sleep some nights. I still dream about the son that might have been.

Age 50– It’s hard to celebrate the birth of grandchildren for others when I have given up hope for any children for us. Life goes on and I take it one day at a time. Getting through the day is all I can do these days.

Age 60– There is no more hurt or pain. I don’t feel anything anymore. Just a dull ache and an empty void. Yes, God is enough. He will always be enough. It’s just so hard to have  your dreams crushed.

Age 70– Could it really be that God promised Abraham a nation through us? Did he really say we would have a son? The tiniest spark of hope rises out of the ashes of former dreams.

Age 80– Maybe we heard wrong. I tried to help God out with Hagar, but that turned out disastrously. God, if this is to happen, it has to be you. I can’t be disappointed again. I just can’t. I don’t think I would survive it this time.

Age 90– I am holding 8 pounds of impossible in my arms. Beyond my last hopes and from this dead body, God brought life. My God is a God for whom the impossible is not even remotely difficult. No one is ever too far gone or too past hope for God to see and reach. At the last possible moment in the darkest hour, God did what He does best. He comes through.

When you’re dreams seem past salvaging and your hopes seem like a joke, remember that God is the God of the 90-year old with the newborn child. Nothing is impossible for this God. Nothing.