life

Bye-Bye, Borders (Farewell to Another Favorite Bookstore)

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Dear Borders,

I’ve read the news and seen the signs. You’re going away forever soon, and that makes me sad. Soon there will no longer be any more Borders.

You were my second favorite bookstore.  #1 bit the dust when David-Kidd went away, and now #2 is going bye-bye. I guess that leaves Barnes & Noble as my new favorite by default.

You were a place I could go and walk around when I needed to detox from a stressful day. You had books, music, movies, and those weird novelty gadgets to browse that made killing time such a pleasure. You had the cafe with those oh-so-good freshly baked cookies. Where will I get those now?

I confess sometimes I would see one of your products and go find it online cheaper. I feel bad about that now. Maybe if I had paid a few more dollars a few times, you might still be around after September. Or maybe not. Who knows?

I still have my Borders card, which is pretty much useless now, but I think I will keep it on my keychain for a while to remember all the good times I had with you. Even that weird night with all the older ladies wearing red hats. That was a little awkward.

I discovered some good music. I found some good movies. I even bought some hand soap (it was 75% off). But most of all, you were my happy place. You were the place I went to where I knew I would be happy for a little while.

Now I have one less happy place.

Thank you, Borders, for making my life a little better and a little happier. You were a little pricey and sometimes you didn’t have what I was looking for, but you made my inner book-nerd very happy. I always joked that I could put a hammock in one of your aisles and live there.

Now you’re going away. I will miss you and all your booky goodness. Thanks for the memories. The next time I read a good book with a freshly baked cookie, I will think of you.

One Day I’ll Learn . . .

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

I used to think I was a fairly teachable guy, willing to learn and be corrected and be done with whatever I was dealing with. Boy, was I wrong. I have compiled a list that I hope one day I will get down pat one day so I won’t have to keep relearning.

One day I’ll learn that what I’m afraid of is usually nothing close to reality. That impending doom is highly exaggerated.

One day I’ll learn that a few good deep breaths and a silent prayer will cure most forms of anxiety. Not all, but most.

One day I’ll learn to be completely in the moment and not in the past obsessing over something I could have done better or in the future anticipating what may or may not come my way. That perfect peace God promised me is meant for the present, not a yesterday that’s gone  or tomorrow that’s not here yet.

One day I’ll learn to be content with where God has me and not worry that I’m not where I’m supposed to be, according to some arbitrary cultural standard.

To be honest, I could list 20 more things on my list that I have yet to master. This blog could turn into a “beat Greg up” session. The reality is that I am far less driven by fear than I used to be. I am living more in the moment than ever.  I am more content with each day that passes.

I think the big lesson will be when I learn that while it would be nice to have arrived, a step in the right direction is a good thing. Each baby step toward maturity is a victory. And even if I totally blew it that day, the next one starts with a clean slate.

I’m learning.

Those Terrible, No-Good, Very Bad Days

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

Alexander had his terrible, no good, very bad day. So I read as a kid. I can relate. I’ve had my share of terrible, no good, very bad, sucky, wishing it would end days. For a little while, today was one of those days.

Then I remembered something. Faith doesn’t grow in my wonderful awesomely good nothing bad days. Faith matures and gets stronger on those terrible no good very bad days. You find your faith when everything else seems to be going wrong and your day has disaster written all over it.

When the job starts feeling too much like work and not enough like a calling, faith grows. When you struggle with what normally would come easy to you, faith matures. When it seems like one bad thing happens right after another, like tidal wave after tidal wave, your faith is made real.

The faith that says that if you believe, you won’t ever struggle or have problems or suffer isn’t real. Just like a butterfly only gets strong by fighting its way out of a cocoon, so your faith only grows muscles when you’re in the midst of dark, stormy days with the wind blowing and waves crashing and you getting pounded.

I always heard that it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that matters. I think it’s not about great big faith in God that counts, but faith in a great big God. It’s not how strong your faith is all the time, but how your faith is in the God Whose strength is unwearying and unending.

The best part about some days is that they end. For me, the best part about my work day is that it’s now past tense. It’s over. I never have to go back that Monday ever again. I don’t know if tomorrow will be better, but I know the same God that got me through today will be there tomorrow.

That calls for a celebration, I think!

Faith in the Dark

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 3 Comments

Today’s sermon was about Jesus calming the storm in Luke 8. The main question that Jesus asked them (and I think He asks us) is “Where is your faith?” Is your faith in yourself, a kind of “I think I can” mentality?Is it a conditional faith in God that says, “I’ll do X if You do Y back? The question the pastor asked was, “When all your props are taken away, who or what do you trust?”

When skies are sunny and the bank account is full and you’re in a season of plenty and blessing, it doesn’t take much faith. You don’t need faith as much for calm seas and cloudless skies. Only when the storm is coming do you see the need for faith. Only in the dark does faith grow.

Faith grows in the middle of bad news from the doctor, hurt and pain from your own family, marriages that end, pink slips from employers, and things like that. When all you have to hold on to is God, you really find out how big and strong He is to save.

The part about that story that I never thought about is that Jesus was with the disciples the whole time. From the first raindrop and gust of wind through the maelstrom to the end, Jesus was there. He was even sleeping though the worst of it.

That tells me that when I am in my stormy seasons of life, I am not alone. It may seem like God is asleep or AWOL, but I know from everything the Bible tells me and everything I’ve seen over the span of my life that God is near. God is with me. He has not left nor will He ever.

The kind of faith you need is not the “I think I can” variety, but the “I know God can” type. The “He is more than able” kind.

Just for the record, I have to give credit to Michael Easley for the inspiration for this blog. Pretty much this is his sermon put in my own words. I guess it’s a good thing this is not a school paper, or I’d have to do a whole mess of footnotes. And double spacing and margins.

I’m so glad I’m not in school anymore.

More Randomness And Late Night Weirdness

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Sometimes, I think my cat looks at me when I’m leaving for work and thinks, “In order for you to miss me, you have to go. I really like you and all that, but the sooner you head out the door, the sooner my nap gets started. So bye!”

I had a couple ideas for really good blogs, but I forgot to write them down. I always have these genius ideas when I am no where near a pen or paper, or in my car, or otherwise not in a position to capture these ideas for posterity.

Somedays, the best thing you can say about your day is that you avoided personal injury and homicide. Kinda like that old saying, “Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of all those I had to kill because they really peeved me off.” Not that I would ever kill anyone or condone killing anyone. I might just wish them a really bad case of  hemmorhoids if they annoyed me enough.

Somedays, it’s good to not go anywhere or do anything special. Somedays, the agenda might involved some old movies and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Rest is a good thing. Especially if you’ve had one of those long weeks that never seemed to end.

God reminded me again that my life is a good life. He showed me again that what I thought were crises were just bumps in the road. He never gets tired of telling me that no matter what the middle chapters of the book might look like, the ending is already written and it’s a happily ever after. And He should know. It’s His book.

And FYI, the Ben and Jerry’s flavor was cheesecake brownie.

For All the Phonies in the World

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Let me ask you something. Just between you and me (and the world wide web). Do you ever feel like a phony?

Do you ever hear yourself giving Sunday School answers to real life questions? Do you ever feel that you’re praying what you think God wants to hear instead of what’s really in your heart? Do you ever lie awake at night wondering what would happen if the people around you knew what you were really thinking? What you were really like?

There’s good news that sounds like bad news at first. God knows. God knows it all. He knows all the faux-prayers and the religious jargon you talk sometimes. He knows what you do and what you think when no one’s watching. That seems like bad news until you get to the clincher. He loves you anyway.

He loves you at your phoniest. He loves you at your meanest. He loves you at your darkest moments in the middle of the night. He looks at you and doesn’t see phony. He looks at you and sees Jesus and what Jesus did in your place. He sees the perfect life Jesus lived instead of your own very imperfect existence.

Best of all, God sees you for who you will be instead of who you are. He sees what He designed you to be. He promised to not stop working on you until you’re 100% real and complete.

In the meantime, it’s okay to be real and honest and admit you have made a mess of your life. It’s okay to confess you don’t have all the answers, or even all the questions. It’s really not about how much you know or how well you act but how much you are loved.

I raise my glass and toast to all the phonies who are stepping forward to take off the mask and be honest about themselves. I drink to all the pretenders who just got real. I salute all of you who are letting down the walls on what God is doing in your life so others can see grace at work and how love can transform a person. That’s where the freedom is. That’s where I want to be. I hope you do, too.

Things That Make Me Happy

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I have this key chain piggie that I carry with me sometimes. It doesn’t look quite like the one pictured about, but the effect is the same. You press a small button on piggie’s head and light comes out his snout. Or her snout. It could go either way on this little piggie.

Things like that amuse me. I am easily pleased with little gadgets, especially if they light up. Bonus points if they fit in your pocket and look like little animals. I get joy from the weirdest places sometimes.

Like today at work. It was not going well. I was having a Monday kind of day on a Thursday. I was not having a happy moment. But I prayed and said, “Lord, I give you my frustration and anger and I pray You fill me with Your peace.” Just a simple prayer thrown out in the moment.

Next thing I know, I am at peace. I’m content. I even have joy for no other good reason than God is good. Plus I have my little key chain piggie sitting on my desk as a reminder that I have provision if all the lights in the building suddenly go out. I am prepared.

I’ve learned not to predict or anticipate those little moments of joy. I just know that I get them when I least expect them, when I need them most. When I would usually be stressed or depressed. They are a reminder that God is not just in control of the cosmic universal happenings, but also the tiny insignificant things, like me having a bad day.

Thank you, God for little key chain piggies and for random moments of joy. I’ll take them both, anytime.

 

God, If You Loved Me . . .

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 1 Comment

I think you’ve had prayers that started with “God, if you loved me . . .” I have. I’ve probably prayed variations of that prayer at least a thousand times. Maybe you’ve prayed something like this.

“God, if you loved me, you would have given me a spouse, or at least given me hope for one.”

“God, if you loved me, you would have saved my marriage and kept me from all this pain.”

“God, if you loved me, you could have saved my child and he would still be alive today.”

“God, if you loved me, you could have provided for me and my family to stay in our home and not have to go through the embarrassment of bankrupcy.”

There are probably hundreds of other prayers you and I could think of. Essentially, we pray, “God, if you loved me, you would have come through and not left me alone in this.”

I think maybe if we were silent and still long enough, we might hear this response.

“My child, I do love you. Haven’t you seen countless examples of my blessings and observed times too many to count of my intervention? I do love you.

I love you too much to let you settle for lesser dreams and be satisfied with you-sized goals. I want so much more for you.

I love you too much to let the things in your life possess you instead of you possessing them. I want to teach you how to hold things and people with open hands, because closed hands can’t receive what I have to give you.

You may not always understand my ways. If you did, that would put you above me. But as far as the heavens are above the earth, so are my ways higher than yours.

If you are troubled by what you seem to see of my actions, know that my character is good. Know that I am with you and beside you and in you and for you. Know that my love cannot do anything less than what’s best for you.

Above all, look to the cross where I gave Jesus for you. Jesus was me in your human form, living your life, sharing your sorrows, fulfillling all my requirements, and taking your place in death. You who deserved death get to live and my Son, who had done nothing wrong, died.

Remember that this is a broken world. Remember also that one day I will set all things right. I will restore to you what you have lost a thousand times over. My love for you will triumph against everything that stands against it.

My child, I do love you. Never forget that. I am your Abba and I am very fond of you.”

-God

What Kind of Christian Are You?

/ Ragamuffingospelfan / 8 Comments

I heard a pastor say that a lot of us are waiting for God to bring His judgment. We have certain people or groups in mind. God owes them what’s coming to them and they should get no mercy, but get the hell they deserve. Yet somehow, a lot of us think that God is obligated to show us mercy.

It could be “those homosexuals” or “those liberals” or “those pacifists” or whatever other group you’re not in. It could be those who struggle with sins that don’t affect us. Our sins are forgiveable, but theirs are not. Or so we think.

But really, who are good Christians and who are bad Christians? And do such distinctions even exist?

I say not. There are no good or bad Christians. There are only lost people who have been found, dead people who are now alive, sinners who deserved condemnation but found grace and mercy. We are all, as one of my favorite writers put it, beggers trying to tell other beggars where to find bread.

In other words, there is no one good enough to earn God’s love. No one who has anything of their own they can bring to God. There is no one that’s too bad to be saved. No one who God has shut off from any possibility of redemption or grace.

I’ve had to change my thinking a lot about “those” people. I may not struggle with the “big” sins, but my sins would have earned me just as much of death and hell as anyone who has ever lived. I needed grace and forgiveness through the blood of Jesus as much as any of “those” people.

A famous newspaper once submitted a question to many leading figures of the day. The question was “What’s wrong with the world today?” A famous writer, G.K. Chesterton had the shortest (and best, I think) reply of them all. He simply replied, “I am.”

One day God will judge the world. Some people will get what they deserve. But the only reason I won’t is because of Zephaniah 1:7. “Quiet now! Reverent silence before me, God, the Master! Time’s up. My Judgment Day is near: The Holy Day is all set, the invited guests made holy.”

In other words, those guests invited to the Kingdom of God aren’t the ones who have the most to offer God or who have the most sterling resumes. They are the ones God has made holy. Because we had no gift to bring, God sent His own Son. Because we had no sacrifice, God Himself became the sacrifice so we could get in.

So instead of choosing who God should judge, maybe we should be thankful and grateful that we’re no longer the ones who will be condemned. Maybe we should love “those” people as much as God loved us and show them as much grace as He showed us. Maybe, just maybe, we could be the the ones to show them how good and great God really is.

This is Your Brain on Tylenol Sinus Nighttime Medicine

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I have oddly disconnected and random thoughts tonight. Such as:

1) Both Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi get on my nerves, so I guess that makes me an Independent. I think I’d rather vote for Marge Simpson.

2) As my boss said, “Anyday without a toe tag is a good day.” I made it through another day still alive and kicking with all my extremeties and all my teeth, so I’d call it a good day.

3) I heard a pastor talk about how you go to someone’s funeral and say how they look natural. As if that person slept in a coffin every day of his life.

4) I know reality TV is in, but I still like my television to be as unrealistic as possible. Give me vampires, ghosts, aliens, and Buffy any day over survivors and batchelorettes. I get enough reality from real life.

5) Diet Mountain Dew is a great invention. At 7:30 in the morning, it is a Godsend.

6) I like the new morning show on Way-FM, but I still miss Mornings with Brant. Especially Malarkey. I miss that most.

7) I found my cat Lucy taking a nap on my suitcase underneath the bed this morning. I think she doesn’t want me going on any more trips this year. Either that or she wants to go, too.

8) Lucy the aforementioned cat is named after Lucy from The Chronicles of Narnia, in case you wondered.

9) This Tylenol Sinus Nighttime stuff works. I am uber-sleepy. Good night.