learning

Little Victories

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Today, I had one of those little victories. Kinda like the 7.5 ounce cans of Dr. Pepper. All the sugary goodness, only in a smaller container. That’s how I look at little victories.

It wasn’t a eureka moment. It was just a moment when I realized that a couple of years ago I would have been panicked or angry or severely discouraged and I wasn’t any of these things. I had a bad moment at work where I found out I did something wrong and I didn’t freak out.

I did some slow breathing and short prayers and realized that the world wasn’t going to end. Score Greg 1, Panic 0. A small victory.

It may not seem like anything, but to me it’s something. Most people prefer the epic Braveheart-style victories, but the smaller ones are more likely to happen in real life. Usually, the battle isn’t won in a sweeping triumph all at once, but in a series of small victories. Like today.

You may find yourself reacting for once out of understanding and not anger. You might find forgiveness in your heart for someone who wronged you. You may say no to the cheesecake and yes to the salad. Those are small victories.

Small victories are a reminders of the ultimate victory yet to come. They are a reminder that God is in the details as well as in the grand scheme. You see in that moment that God was with you all along, even when it seemed that you fought alone.

I am a fan of small victories. I am also a fan of those small cans of Dr. Pepper and especially the tiny servings of Ben and Jerrys that come with the tiny spoons. I guess I need to work on that salad thing.

Don’t discount the small things. God shows up in the little victories and most often sends blessings in the form of little moments of joy and small graces. Most of all, His preferred manner of speaking is a still, small voice.

I guess good things do come in small packages.

Food for Thought (Meditations on What I Read and What I Heard Today)

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“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which,if you say it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree helping each other to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilites, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations – these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit – immortal horrors or everlasting splendors” (C.S. Lewis)

There are no ordinary people.  Everyone you meet is uniquely designed and handcrafted by the very God who made and sustains everything. That includes you. In God’s eyes, there are no throwaways or outcasts or losers. He sees all of us as extraordinary.

That changes a lot. It changes how I view other people. It changes how I see me.

I heard something neat in Kairos tonight. Jesus didn’t choose those who made the cut for His followers. He didn’t choose the best picks available on the board (to use a sports analogy). He didn’t pick the most influential or noteworthy or acclaimed. He picked me. He picked you.

He chose illiterate fishermen and tax collectors and misguided zealots. He picked what we would call ordinary people. Like you and me. He said, “I see something in you that you don’t even see in yourself and I will do everything to bring that something out in you.”

He didn’t call us to be fans, but followers. That’s what a disciple is– someone who not only knows Jesus, but follows Him. Someone who is “all in.”

Are you a fan or are you a follower? I had to admit that lately I’ve been more of a sideline fan than a follower who gets his feet dirty. I want to do more than like Jesus on facebook. I want to be known by His name and to look like Him. Do you?

Lord, make us followers who who will be willing to give up everything we could never keep to gain what we will never be able to lose. We want to be ALL IN from now on.

Amen.

My Review of The First 4 Pages of The Weight of Glory

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I am a fan of all things C.S. Lewis. I’ve read almost everything I can find with his name on it. I’ve seen all the Narnia movies (even the BBC ones that look like they had a special effects budget of $5). So it would make sense that I’m reading his book The Weight of Glory, a book of essays and sermons.

So far, 4 pages in, I get the idea that desire is not wrong. It’s not our desire that’s so bad, but what we desire. We’re thinking way too small when all we long for is a bigger house, a better car, the ideal spouse, perfect sex, and a host of other amenities we can dream of.

C.S. Lewis said it way better when he wrote, “It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

 I don’t know about you, but mud pies don’t appeal to me in the least. I’d rather take the Hilton Head vacation package any day of the week. And if any of you kind people are offering, I am taking. Just throwing that out there.

One thing he said that struck me was that a proper reward for doing something was the consummation of that activity. In other words, the reward for being a good husband would be a happy and joyous marriage. The reward for being a good parent would be children that are a delight.

Maybe my reward for pursuiing the heart of God is finding it. Maybe the full reward is finding that the heart of God is so big that I can never get to the bottom of it, not even after an eternity of searching. The deeper you go, the more you find and the better it gets and the more there is to uncover.

Ok, so I started the book today and didn’t get very far. In my defense, I read the introductions (notice that I read both), which I hardly ever do. That’s how much I like C.S. Lewis. Further reports to follow. Stay tuned. Oh, and be sure to drink your ovaltine.

Thanks, Uncle Mikey (A Tribute of Sorts to Dr. Glenn)

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Thank you, Uncle Mikey, for 20 wonderful years as pastor of Brentwood Baptist Church. Thanks for being a faithful steward of God’s Word who loved Jesus and kept it real (to use your own words).

You told me that Kairos was a safe place where I could be myself, whether that meant raising my hands high in worship or sitting silently with arms folded. You told me that confession was a time not to beat myself up, but to be honest with myself to God and to tell Him what He already knew so that I would come to see myself as He does.

You reminded me that God doesn’t just love me, but He likes me, too. You reminded me that God is crazy about me and that nothing could stop Him from winning my heart and redeeming me out of my own mess into someone who is a child of the King.

You made me love God’s Word again. Your love for Scripture made me want to dig in deeper for myself. You always said, “If you don’t live it, you don’t believe it.” That challenged me more than once to take stock in what I really and truly believed as opposed to what I paid lip service to.

You always spoke honestly about your own faults and shortcomings and fears and made it okay for me to be as open and honest about mine. You told me more than once that all God needs is for a small place to start in my life and He can change me. That it’s never ever too late to start over and let God’s love transform me into something beautiful.

I never spoke to you personally much, but you were always kind to me and listened to me. You always made time to invest in the lives of so many others. There are so many whose lives are better because of your faithfulness to Jesus. I am one of them. Thanks for getting me hooked on Henri Nouwen’s books. I will always think of you whenever I read one of his books.

I hope and pray God gives you another 20 years as pastor of Brentwood Baptist. I pray God’s anointing rests on you and that you never stop being amazed at what God is doing inside you and around you.

God’s not done with either you or me and I can’t wait to see what the final result will be. Thanks to someone I feel like I can call my friend and my brother in Christ. Shalom to you.

From one of your many spiritual children,

Greg.

Drive-Ins And Still More Random Stuff

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The last time before tonight that I went to a drive-in movie theatre, I saw Liar Liar and The Saint. That should tell you how long it’s been. I know it was sometime around the mid-90’s. Those of you who are better at math than me can figure out how long that’s been.

Tonight (or technically last night, since it’s 1:23 am), I went to the drive-in at Waterford. It was definitely like stepping back in time. Even the movies were vintage, starting with Back to the Future and ending up with Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. And yes, Ferris is still my hero.

Life was different back then, at least for me. It didn’t seem so fast and people didn’t seem to be in so much of a hurry. It seems like anymore people are so worried about getting to the next place they often miss where they are now. Says one who is guilty of such.

Sometimes, the most important part is not getting a head start on traffic, but not missing the moment. Savoring a beautiful summer night with breezes hinting of a fall yet to come and stars out in full glory. I’d rather get home 20 minutes later than miss out on that.

Earlier today, I helped Belmont students move into their dorms. It reminded me of my own days as a college student when I moved all my belongings into a dorm room. Those were good days, but I won’t say they were the best.

The best days, I think, are now because that’s where God is and that’s where He is speaking to us and working in us. That’s where I want to be, waiting to see what God will do next. I can’t imagine what it will be, but I know it’s gonna be good.

Like Ferris said, life is pretty short. If you don’t stop every once in a while and look around, you could miss it.

For All the Phonies in the World

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Let me ask you something. Just between you and me (and the world wide web). Do you ever feel like a phony?

Do you ever hear yourself giving Sunday School answers to real life questions? Do you ever feel that you’re praying what you think God wants to hear instead of what’s really in your heart? Do you ever lie awake at night wondering what would happen if the people around you knew what you were really thinking? What you were really like?

There’s good news that sounds like bad news at first. God knows. God knows it all. He knows all the faux-prayers and the religious jargon you talk sometimes. He knows what you do and what you think when no one’s watching. That seems like bad news until you get to the clincher. He loves you anyway.

He loves you at your phoniest. He loves you at your meanest. He loves you at your darkest moments in the middle of the night. He looks at you and doesn’t see phony. He looks at you and sees Jesus and what Jesus did in your place. He sees the perfect life Jesus lived instead of your own very imperfect existence.

Best of all, God sees you for who you will be instead of who you are. He sees what He designed you to be. He promised to not stop working on you until you’re 100% real and complete.

In the meantime, it’s okay to be real and honest and admit you have made a mess of your life. It’s okay to confess you don’t have all the answers, or even all the questions. It’s really not about how much you know or how well you act but how much you are loved.

I raise my glass and toast to all the phonies who are stepping forward to take off the mask and be honest about themselves. I drink to all the pretenders who just got real. I salute all of you who are letting down the walls on what God is doing in your life so others can see grace at work and how love can transform a person. That’s where the freedom is. That’s where I want to be. I hope you do, too.

Old Books, Old Friends

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I’ve been re-reading the Chronicles of Narnia over the summer. I think this makes the 15th straight year I’ve read these books, so if you’re counting, that would mean I’m re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-reading these books. I think I got vertigo just typing that last sentence.

I’m currently re-reading The Horse and His Boy. I’ve read it so many times I know what’s coming up next and there are very few surprises left. But for me reading a book like that is like going to a favorite vacation spot, one that’s guaranteed to be exactly like you remembered and never change.

I also read The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and The Space Trilogy (another C.S. Lewis set of classics). I’ve seen the movies and I like them all so far, but one of the drawbacks to having read the books so many times is that I can tell if the movies deviate even slightly from the books. Remember me being a book nerd?

I’d like to know what books you read annually. Maybe I’ll find a new one to add to my yearly reading list. I’ll have to have something to take my mind away from the fact that another one of my favorite bookstores, Borders, is going away forever in September. Boo.

I like this ending better than any ending in a book I’ve ever read:

“And for us this is the end of all the stories, and we can most truly say that they all lived happily ever after. But for them it was only the beginning of the real story. All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page: now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on for ever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.”

FYI, That’s from The Last Battle by C.S. Lewis the last book in The Chronicles of Narnia.

Discovery

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I think I’ve established the fact over the course of the last year that I am one big music/movie/book nerd. I love me some good media. I think I could live at a bookstore like Borders, as long as I had a comfy hammock or sleeping back and a Chik-fil-a nearby.

I also love discovering new things. All the time at restaurants I am trying out new foods and new food combinations. One of my favorite things is to find a new author or artist that few people know about, one that hasn’t yet caught on or one that didn’t quite get there.

My latest musical find is a folk-duo group called The Story. They are (or were) Jonatha Brooke and Jennifer Kimball. Both have since gone on to more successful solo careers. I also really like The Sundays, a British group that probably very few have ever heard of.

There’s something grand about discovering new things. I think the life of faith is like that. Every morning are undiscovered new mercies and graces and fresh starts. Every moment is a potential do-over and a clean slate. There is no failure or even fiasco that God can’t turn into something glorious and victorious. Even you and me.

I am thankful for a God who doesn’t keep score or maintain a record of wrongs and broken promises and failed attemps at obedience. I’d be seriously screwed.

I’ve said it before many times, but I really love the fact that God looks at me and sees Jesus and is pleased. He not only loves me, but likes me, too! He’s not angry or disappointed or frustrated. He’s not about to give up on me (or you).

What would it be like if you and I could discover one new facet about the mercy, grace, and love of God every day? I don’t know how long it would take, but I’m sure it would be longer than the Oliver Stone’s director’s cut of JFK. I imagine it would take an eternity.

I guess it’s a really good thing we will have an eternity to find out, eh?

What Are You Known For?

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Tonight, Dave Ramsey spoke at Kairos and one thing he said stood out to me. Just as a brand name of a product is known for a certain quality of that product, so we are known for something in our lives. It’s not what we say that we are known for, but what we do. So what are you known for?

I think I know. I want to be known as a man after God’s own heart. I want to be known as someone absolutely drenched in God and drowning in the overflow of His love and grace. I want to be someone who has no glory of his own but reflects the glory of Christ just as the moon has no light of its own but reflects the light of the sun. I want my goal to be that I look a little more like Jesus today than I did yesterday, this month than I did last month, and this year than last year.

I want to be known as someone who lived what I said I believed. Someone whose heart beat with the heartbeat of God, full of compassion and tenderness. Someone broken-hearted over the things that break God’s heart. Someone who was not afraid to love the least of these, even when they least deserved it. Someone who gave himself away for the Kingdom every single day.

I don’t want this to become another legalistic checklist where I fail if I don’t get at least 4 out of 5 of these checked off daily. I want it to be a growing passion in me and a desire that never wavers or wanes. I want this for my brothers and sisters in Christ, that we together reflect as the Church the full beauty and glory of Christ and love each other and the world in such a radical way that it demands their attention.

When we are known as a people not who judge or condemn or make new rules, but as a people who love and forgive and show grace, then we will be known as a people whom God used to dramatically change the world. We will be the change in the world that we want t see. May Christ in you be your only hope and stay and may His love continue to captivate and transform your heart into one like His.

Amen and amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!

Things I Can and Can’t Do

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There are some things I can’t do, shocking as that may sound to you. Here you were, thinking I was all perfect with my dashing good looks and dazzling personality. . . . I seriously digress. There are really some things I can’t do.

1) I can’t make anyone like me or be interested in me if they’re not. I can’t, and believe me I have tried in the past with only tragi-comic results to show for it.

2) I can’t do life through sheer willpower. As many times as I have steeled myself to be strong and independent, I have faltered in the fight and grown weak in the waiting. I don’t have nearly the strenth or stamina to do it alone. Not by a long shot.

3) I can’t guarantee that everything in my life will always stay like it is today. That all my relationships will still be intact and all my hopes alive and my circumstances unaltered. In fact, I really can’t guarantee anything except that change will come, ususally when it is not expected.

4) I can’t save myself from myself. I will always fall back on old fears and give in to temptations and believe the same old lies I have believed in the past.

What can I do? There are a few things.

1) I can be myself and let God bring me the people He wants to be in my life. I can enjoy those people while they are in my life and give them the grace to go when God calls them to a different path than mine. I can be the best friend to each of them while I am able and as long as God wills. I can be Jesus to them.

2) I can surrender my will to Jesus and make myself available to Him. I can invite Him to live His life through me and learn to use the power that raised Him from the dead as I face opposition and temptation. I can say YES to Jesus and give Him room to work in my life. All He needs is a place to start.

3) I can trust that God works all things, including changing circumstances and people, for my good and His glory. I can trust that He sees the big picture and is working for a Victory that is not just mine, but everybody’s. I can believe in faith that He is for me and with me all the way to the very end.

4) I can fall a thousand times and get back up and call it a victory. I can take 99 steps back and 100 steps forward and call it progress. I can believe what Jesus says about me instead of listening to the lies of the media, the world, and me. I can live as the Beloved of God, like I am already what He’s declared I will be. Like I am the way He already sees me.

I can’t be god. I can trust God. I can know that I am in good Hands!

Amen and amen!